Am interested to know how any of you flying mums out there juggle kids/home-life with the demands of flying. Any tips? Did you fly while pregnant? Is the airline supportive? :p
flapsforty
12th Nov 2001, 12:02
Kem Motherhood & Flying NOT an easy combination in my experience. And that's with me flying only 50%!
When our kids were small, their dad took them to a lady who cared fro them at her own house.
Major stress for the dad involved, morning rush with 1 baby and 1 toddler.......
When they got bigger a series of unsatisfactory wimin came to our place to look after the kids and do the house in a most haphazard fashion.
1 of them let No1 child bounce of the spiral staircase head-first, another 1 set fire to the kitchen................ Major stress for Dad
After that we decided on Au-Pairs, despite living in a small house with only 3 bedrooms. Kids in 1 room, Au-Pair in the baby room. Au-Pairs was THE solution in our case!! Some lovely young girls and 1 very nice young man. They stay for a year, are very soon part of the family, kids love the stability, and leaving home to go flying became much less guilt-laden.
The boy Au-Pair not only looked after the kids in a superb manner, he also cut the grass and served Dad a whisky upon his return to the peaceful home every night.....We still miss him! :D
Kids now teenagers (13 & 15) and no Au-PAir willing to look after that particular species, alas...... ;) They look after themselves in the afternoon, wreack havoc in the kitchen while preparing simple snacks like Calamari Fritti :rolleyes:
No2 child also decided to sample the delights of the Bar cupboard when he was home alone recently. Got as p!iised as a newt and from 6 countries away I had to direct his big sister to go home asap and do some damage control..........Dad stressed! :D
I've engaged am elderly lady to act as their Chauffeur for when they need to be driven to their various activities.
It's not an ideal situation, and I don't think it ever was or will be.
I honestly believe that the kids would be better off with me having a normal 9 to 5 job, and their Dad would have a much easier life.
But then I would be a most unhappy miserable person, and how good a Mum would that make me? As it is now, I try my damnedest to be an excellent mother and wife the time I spend at home, and when I lieve the house to go flying and lock the door behind me, I try to also lock the door in my mind where the guilt lives. I hardly ever call home, and prefer not to know when things go pear-shaped at 40Towers. Not a lot I can do about it anyway when half-way round the globe.
On the up-side Kem, not to paint too black a picture:
The kids have grown up to be very nice young people. They do their homework without prompting from anybody, perform well at school, ineract well with al sorts of people, and know how to look after themselves. Compared to friends' kids, they are socially very capable, not easily scared by unusual situations and fiercely independant.
Not always having their Mummy there to sort out evrything has been tough but also a bonus.
For myself, motherhood and flying has been an exellent combination. Small children and the life you lead as a Mum then, can be pretty all-absorbing and smotheringly limited, despite the love you have for the small creatures. Flying takes you away from that for a bit, and makes you realize that you are still a person in your own right. No body's Mum, and able to do more than change nappies and prepare formula!!
My company was not cooperative at all at the time, and still isn't. Problems with the kids are the FA's business and no help with rostering is EVER forthcoming when a child falls ill.
So to do this well, you need to have a "Dad" who is very very capable on the home front, and who sees the kids as his responsability as much as yours. He also needs to consider your job to be as valuable as his own.
If you find that kind of bloke to father your children, your chances of leading a happy and fullfilling life combining Motherhood & Flying are pretty good! :D
(but woe on those colleagues of mine who are married to a MCP variety Male, their tales are hair raising! :eek: )
Hope this helps... ;)
Thanks Flaps. Very helpful. Just one word - OOOOOOOHMMMYYYYYYYYGOD!!!!!
BTW, excuse my ignorance but what's an MCP male?
(Check out your private messages)
flapsforty
14th Nov 2001, 22:52
Kem Male Chauvinsit Pig LOL
The kind of husband who need 5 cooked meal labeled and frozen b4 you can go flying...
Who asks his Mum to move in as soon as you leave for work because he doesn't have the first clue about how to look after hos own kids.... :eek:
Who insists that you farm out the kids on your work days 'cause he can't possibly be expected to work AND look after YOUR children............
The list is endless, and the stories I hear from colleagues are truly unbelievable!!
Don't know what it's like in Oz, but the men in my home country are really not all that emancipated, and Dutch wimin put up with a lot of cr*p from them.
That's a major advantage of being married to a Scandinavian. :D Blokes here would never even think that wimin might be worth less than males, they do eveerything with the kids that wimin do exept breastfeeding them, stay home from work when the kids are ill and are generally fantastically dedicated fathers.
What are the OzMales like? ;)
Flaps and Flyblue, thanks for your private messages - very helpful! (scary yet realistic)
Thanks again :confused:
Red Minx
17th Nov 2001, 00:08
I didn't actually start flying until my 3 kids were at school and it's the best kept secret for working Mum's! My full time hours generally see me fly to the US for a nightstop once a week and I'm at home with them for the rest of the week. Every now and then I get a nice longer trip and quite often just take them with me. My partner, a pilot with the same company does his it when I'm away and thoroughly enjoys the responsibility and the fun - despite the fact that none of them are actually his! I'm very fortunate to have my parents living 5 minutes away and they take over when we're both away. The perks such as staff travel mean my kids aged 11, 9 and 6 have seen the world and are very well balanced and independant. It can be a juggling act at times but I find crewing and my line manager are only too happy to help me swap flights around when there's a school play or parents evening. As for the kids, they have a Mum who is happy in her work and they also get all their Gameboy games before they've even hit the shops in the UK! :) :) :) ;)