euroboy
3rd Feb 2001, 12:46
Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Denise and I will be your Senior In-cabin Co-ordinator on this flight to Ibiza from London Gatwick today.
My team and I would like to welcome you on board this 727 and thank you for choosing Superjet Air even if you didn`t really get a choice in the matter.
Still my team and I have to put on a brave face about wearing this brown and peach uniform, so the least you can do is accept the inevitable with some grace.
While we are still boarding this aircraft, can I, at this point ask a pax in Row 13 to stand up and re-arrange all his belongings in the overhead locker for a long time, while sticking his backside into the aile and stopping other people squeezing past and reaching their seats? If everybody is seated too early people will start expecting this plane to take off.
Our estimated hanging around on the tarmac time today is appox. 115 minutes. You may like to take this opportunity to put back your watches by 1 hour now so that our take off time will not seem quite so badly behind schedule.
In a few minutes the tinkly tonkly music in the background will be drowned out by the roar and hiss of the air conditioning system. This is quite normal for this type of aircraft and there is no cause for optimism that something is actually going to happen.
Cabin staff are now about to come down the cabin making all the people who have luggage under their seat put it into the overhead lockers provided, and all those paxs who have bags in the overhead lockers will be ordered to put them under the seat.
My collegue, Patsy is about to come down the cabin offering copies of last Thursday`s Frankfurter Allgemeine which is the only newspaper we could get hold of because a mix up with our suppliers. If there is anyone on board who reads German, I would ask them to identify themselves, and to look just a bit pleased.
It may be of interest to you to know that our late arriving pax should be coming on board in the next 2 minutes. He will be wearing a Panama hat a pale linen suit and a smug expression. He will of course be carrying 2 gigantic suitcases which he will bump against your shoulders of those sat in aile seats until he reaches his own which is in Row 35 at the very rear.
Your pilot today is Capt. Roderick Wild blood. In 30 minutes he will be addressing you in his rich soothing voice to apologise for the delayed departure. In the meantime we will be taxi-ing to a different area of the tarmac so that we can get a better view of those planes which have been lucky enough to be cleared for take off. Capt. Wildblood has just changed the note of the engines to raise your expectations.
If paxs on the left side of the aircraft look out of the windows they can see the green suitcase which fell off the baggage handlers` trolley and is now being ignored as it lies on the ground. Paxs on the right side of the aircraft can see a mechanic staring at the wing and shaking his head.
My collegue Trish will now move through the cabin taking coats and belongings at random out of the overhead lockers and place them in overhead lockers as far away as possible from their owner. At the same time Patsy will, for the 40th time twitch the curtain which separtates the First Class cabin to make sure that no body in the tourist section gets an unauthorised glimpse of it.
You may like to know that there are NOW 2 mechanics staring at the right wing and gesticulating.
Ladies and Gentlemen, as it is nearly time for Capt. Wildblood to deliver his apology for the delay, I would ask you to fold away your tray tables, put your seats upright and see that your seat belt is fastened so that Patsy can come down the cabin and glare severely at your goin area. At the same time Trish will open all the lockers and slam them shut violently.
In a minute I will be demonstrating the Safety Procedures which I find embarrassing- especially the bit where I have to pretend to blow into the tube to inflate the life jacket should it fail to inflate automatically. You will find a safety card in the seat pocket infront of you. Please study it closely while I am doing the demonstration, so I don`t catch your eye.
As soon as we have taken off, the cabin crew will be wheeling trolleys into the aile to block your way to the toilets.
I would like to wish you an enjoyable flight with Superjet Air. Thank You, for your attension.
[This message has been edited by euroboy (edited 03 February 2001).]
My team and I would like to welcome you on board this 727 and thank you for choosing Superjet Air even if you didn`t really get a choice in the matter.
Still my team and I have to put on a brave face about wearing this brown and peach uniform, so the least you can do is accept the inevitable with some grace.
While we are still boarding this aircraft, can I, at this point ask a pax in Row 13 to stand up and re-arrange all his belongings in the overhead locker for a long time, while sticking his backside into the aile and stopping other people squeezing past and reaching their seats? If everybody is seated too early people will start expecting this plane to take off.
Our estimated hanging around on the tarmac time today is appox. 115 minutes. You may like to take this opportunity to put back your watches by 1 hour now so that our take off time will not seem quite so badly behind schedule.
In a few minutes the tinkly tonkly music in the background will be drowned out by the roar and hiss of the air conditioning system. This is quite normal for this type of aircraft and there is no cause for optimism that something is actually going to happen.
Cabin staff are now about to come down the cabin making all the people who have luggage under their seat put it into the overhead lockers provided, and all those paxs who have bags in the overhead lockers will be ordered to put them under the seat.
My collegue, Patsy is about to come down the cabin offering copies of last Thursday`s Frankfurter Allgemeine which is the only newspaper we could get hold of because a mix up with our suppliers. If there is anyone on board who reads German, I would ask them to identify themselves, and to look just a bit pleased.
It may be of interest to you to know that our late arriving pax should be coming on board in the next 2 minutes. He will be wearing a Panama hat a pale linen suit and a smug expression. He will of course be carrying 2 gigantic suitcases which he will bump against your shoulders of those sat in aile seats until he reaches his own which is in Row 35 at the very rear.
Your pilot today is Capt. Roderick Wild blood. In 30 minutes he will be addressing you in his rich soothing voice to apologise for the delayed departure. In the meantime we will be taxi-ing to a different area of the tarmac so that we can get a better view of those planes which have been lucky enough to be cleared for take off. Capt. Wildblood has just changed the note of the engines to raise your expectations.
If paxs on the left side of the aircraft look out of the windows they can see the green suitcase which fell off the baggage handlers` trolley and is now being ignored as it lies on the ground. Paxs on the right side of the aircraft can see a mechanic staring at the wing and shaking his head.
My collegue Trish will now move through the cabin taking coats and belongings at random out of the overhead lockers and place them in overhead lockers as far away as possible from their owner. At the same time Patsy will, for the 40th time twitch the curtain which separtates the First Class cabin to make sure that no body in the tourist section gets an unauthorised glimpse of it.
You may like to know that there are NOW 2 mechanics staring at the right wing and gesticulating.
Ladies and Gentlemen, as it is nearly time for Capt. Wildblood to deliver his apology for the delay, I would ask you to fold away your tray tables, put your seats upright and see that your seat belt is fastened so that Patsy can come down the cabin and glare severely at your goin area. At the same time Trish will open all the lockers and slam them shut violently.
In a minute I will be demonstrating the Safety Procedures which I find embarrassing- especially the bit where I have to pretend to blow into the tube to inflate the life jacket should it fail to inflate automatically. You will find a safety card in the seat pocket infront of you. Please study it closely while I am doing the demonstration, so I don`t catch your eye.
As soon as we have taken off, the cabin crew will be wheeling trolleys into the aile to block your way to the toilets.
I would like to wish you an enjoyable flight with Superjet Air. Thank You, for your attension.
[This message has been edited by euroboy (edited 03 February 2001).]