YPPH Fuel Delivery delays

[vee tail]

Has anyone noticed the delay in getting fuel lately??
I think I have found out why!


Earlier on this week in the morning ( early departures ), A captain could not get the attention of the fuel truck parked on the tarmac so he used his initiative and went over to the truck to open the door and alert the driver when bugger me if he was'nt alerted himself , when he opened the door of the tanker there was the driver with a magazine in his hand , or one hand, and his arr................... smaller fuelling hose in the other. Strewth!!!:D:D:D:E:E:E:E:E

Aint that just gold

[squawk6969]

Wankers!:uhoh: :=
:}:}:}:}:}:}:}

[kiwi chick]

Maybe he was just trying to come up with some eco-friendly fossil-fuel alternatives? :D

I mean... it's pretty self-sustaining; in my experience easy to harvest, and there are certainly plenty of reliable ready sources.


The downside is, it would take a fair while to refuel a 747... :bored:

[Transition Layer]

kiwi chick

in my experience easy to harvest

Ah god bless Kiwi girls!!!!

[Jedi]

I can see it now,

Capt to FO "whats our margin if we cant get into SYD and have to go to ML"

FO (looking at manifest) "320 PoB, we should be ok"
:sad::E:ok:

[corowacomet]

"...The downside is, it would take a fair while to refuel a 747..."
People already complain about the health implications of aircraft dumping fuel inflight....not too sure they would appreciate being showered with Man-A1. Although I do know some er...women, who wouldn't mind:E!
The Comet (standing by for thread closure)

[vee tail]

Kiwi chick I love you.
:ok::ok:

Carn comet keep it clean this is a serious topic relating to the overall efficiency of aviation:E

[kiwi chick]

:E You're not the first Vee Tail... I've had a few years experience in Fuel Flow Management.

I think Comet is great for being so earnestly interested in the health of those underneath - and at the same time the complexion of the Hosties on board the same flight.

As as for fuel efficiency, I imagine the air conditioning could be turned down a notch and the energy burnt would reduce MAUW. :ok:

[vee tail]

I wonder if we would need to consider fisy in the fluid to stop it freezing or would eating penguins do that:ooh:

[corowacomet]

KC: "....I've had a few years experience in Fuel Flow Management...."
Classic. Running out early can be a real problem, most of us guys don't understand leaning for best endurance we just select full rich and hope for the best.
VT: "....Carn comet keep it clean this is a serious topic relating to the overall efficiency of aviation:E...."
My apologies!
The Comet

[corowacomet]

As for the fuel dumping inflight imagine the fate of the poor skipper who takes off from Sydney, can't retract the gear and is forced to return after emptying his er um er load over local residents. Not even a QF wage would cover the child support payments and I can just imagine the CVR tapes after the same occurs on a J* flight....."FO prepare the cabin for ditching, my super just won't take it"
The Comet

[vee tail]

" Ladies and gentleman we are now required to return to perth as unfortunately we got too excited about a cockpit issue and prematurely dumped our load of fuel and will need an hour or two for the reload":ok:

[Jedi]

Come on Comet, you cant tar us all with the same brush!

A few brews = LRC, provided you dont get a 'hung start'! :}

[kiwi chick]

Whats LRC...? Never heard of it... :E :E

[vee tail]

jedi looks like kiwi needs some ozzie friendship

[kiwi chick]

hahaha!

It IS bringing a whole new meaning to the word fuel cock. :oh:

[myshoutcaptain]

Jedi - whilst in LRC , you may need to lubricate , I can suggest BPs latest "Jet SS II - Silky Smooth" It provides comfort and security by using no longer a dangerous , cancer causing formula but a water based one which is also good for the environment - it does not contain oils,sugar or perfume.

:)

[Jedi]

You have a formation endorsement dont you vee tail?:rolleyes:

[corowacomet]

The upside of all of this is that at least for the boys the cost of learning to fly will be greatly reduced after all young male ppl holders are the biggest w@nkers of all! Perhaps the young female students could do a bit of after hours "coaching" to help fill the tanks.
I do have a few questions though.....how do you check the fuel for contaminants? (What would you look for?) How exactly would the fuel companies "dip their tanks"? and would shell, mobil etc have to start colour-coding the different fuel variants?
The Comet

[corowacomet]

"...You have a formation endorsement dont you vee tail?:rolleyes:....'
What are you suggesting, air to air refueling? Could be dangerous esp around a single as there wouldn't be much prop clearance.
The Comet

[SmokingHole]

Great thread!:D:D:D:D:D:D

I can feel a closure coming on!

[SmokingHole]

Could be dangerous esp around a single as there wouldn't be much prop clearance.

Better off using a twin on the ground - they can trim the foliage from the edges of the strip-especially if it has been unused after a long cold winter.

[kiwi chick]

Or a wee helicopter? They can fit into much tighter areas and trim at the same time :oh:

[SmokingHole]

STOP IT KC - you're hurting me! oh, hang on, no that's me hurting myself:eek::E

[kiwi chick]

Sorry - did you slip while you were refuelling?

[Skystar320]

So let me get this straight,

He was shaking the unemployed?

[squawk6969]

Any farmer will tell ya.....a bare paddock is easier to find things in than a thick scrub!:}

How do Kiwi's find sheep in long grass?.........Delightful of course!!:E:E:ok:

[kiwi chick]

Gasp!! :ooh:

And they say "never shake a baby"... :ok:

[toronto_flyer]

That's the last time I borrow the fuel guy's pen to sign an invoice. :bored:

toronto_flyer

[ForkTailedDrKiller]

Mark this day on your calender - the Mad Dr is lost for words!

Dr :cool:

[youngmic]

Must be a good read that "Tanker Truck Monthly"

[Led Zep]

Did he have fluro PPE on?

[Jedi]

Comet, your way off the mark again!
We all know Kiwis cant fly... formation refuelling on the other hand:eek::D









Sorry KC, vee tail started it with the friendship dig!
PS are you formation endorsed???:E

[vee tail]

This is fantastic:D:D:D

Is this why they use that grease proof paper for the reciepts

I alsoheard today that he was wearing gloves at the time

OUCH:=:=

[corowacomet]

"....I also heard today that he was wearing gloves at the time...."
Maybe he is a New Zealander and the supple feel of the leather against the nozzle reminded him of sunny days back in the land of the long white cloud, kneeling in a paddock and getting to know his flock in a more intimate fashion.
The Comet.

[kingtoad]

The refueller at a distant outback mining town on the western coast of NSW was apparently witnessed keeping the hood of his car warm by putting his semi-clothed missus on it and then taking the opportunity to test the suspension in a repeditive manner. I guess all good refuelers should regularly check the operation of their hose and nozzle.

[SmokingHole]

western coast of NSW

More specifics please:confused::confused::confused:

[kiwi chick]

Sorry KC, vee tail started it with the friendship dig!
PS are you formation endorsed???

No but I DO know someone VERY good at it... :E :E :E

May his bumper always be warm and his suspension bouncy ;)

(oh, and his fuel tanks always full... :eek:)

[troppo]

Pprune meets Mills and Boon
About as stimulating as an episode of Shortland Street :zzz:

[kiwi chick]

:= If ya don't like it, go sumwhere else ! ;) We're having fun !

And I can put my hand on my heart and say I've NEVER read anything quite like this in Mills n Boon - or Shortland St. :ok:

[kingtoad]

Smoking hole - look at a map of NSW and use your navigation skills, all will be revealed as there aren't too many outback mining towns on the western coast of NSW. Also said incident(s) occured 15 - 20 years ago.

[the wizard of auz]

I reckon banging on the bonnet would be quite acceptable........... even commendable, but getting caught choking the chicken in ya truck at work....wearing gloves..... well, thats just as funny as ferk.
I wonder how long he is going to keep working there now its out that he really is a w**** r. :E:}

[kiwi chick]

why is that wizard of auz? :confused:

Is there somewhere else in particular that all aussie w**kers are supposed to work...?

Is it called "Parliament"? :E

[SmokingHole]

look at a map of NSW and use your navigation skills, all will be revealed as there aren't too many outback mining towns on the western coast of NSW

My navigation skills tell me NSW only has a "coast" on the Eastern side. Try turning your map up the right way:ok:

[the wizard of auz]

KC, I was thinking he might find it hard to face the regular clients now its a publicised event........... but then again, maybe he likes that too??.;)

[Towering Q]

there aren't too many outback mining towns on the western coast of NSW. Also said incident(s) occured 15 - 20 years ago.
Not wrong there Toad, I can't think of any towns on the "western coast" of NSW. Unless......15 - 20 years ago falls in the Eocere Epoch of the Paleogere Period during the Cenozoic Era during which time the Indo-Australian plate was fused.:8

[kingtoad]

Righto Q & SH ... the "coast" bit is a local joke, I guess 'cause there is alot of sand between said town and the Indian ocean. So I'll re-phrase with out toungue-in-cheek "outback mining town on the western border of NSW". Hint - I wouldn't suggest anyone stay there for too long cause you'll end up broke n ill - 4 years was enough for me. And for the record - I've never been a refueler. :E.

BTW Twring Q, were there refuelers back in those periods you mention? I don't quite go back that far. Regardless, I'd guess there are alot more "Owner - operator" refuelers these days, they seemed to come along after the plate fusion.

[SmokingHole]

Ahhhh. Just a little east of mad max country.
Got it the first time BTW:ok:

[the wizard of auz]

holy crap TQ. where did you learn that stuff???

[corowacomet]

People people, what is happening to this thread? We've gone from discussing a serious issue to a frivolous argument about the pre-historic beginnings of the earth.
Shouldn't we be getting back to the issue in um, hand? No wonder people complain of the declining standards of PPrune.
The Comet.

[Ref + 10]

I wanted to ask the refueller this morning who the culprit was but stopped short. What if it was him?

Great thread. Makes for a more light hearted change...

[kiwi chick]

Well, if he doesn't have a static line and if he's any good he knows how to slide the nozzle along and around the hole before putting it in.

As any decent pilot knows :E

[vee tail]

Kiwi please now i am pleading, marry me, i will start begging soon:8:8:}

[kiwi chick]

Hahaha!! Begging is all good... :ok:

[SEBI86]

Hi i was just wondering, is broome a good place to look for work. im just starting out my career and am keen on getting some advice on where the best place is to look for work

thanks all:O

[kiwi chick]

Thats a bit random?! :confused: Haha!

SEB186, you'd probably be better posting that in a new thread, more people might see it that way. :ok:

Kiwi Chick

[squawk6969]

SEBI86
Are you sure you picked the right thread? I know Tarting is loosely related:}

KC
Hahaha!! Begging is all good... :ok:
Dont mess with the poor boys emotions like that!:E

[kiwi chick]

:(

the message you have entered is too short...

PS: squawk6969 - didn't get to see DVD unfortunately, neither my player or computer could read it - appeared to be blank. Thanks anyway :)

[the wizard of auz]

You would be begging for someone to hide if you got a look at our old mate Vee tail........the oil painting. :eek::E

[the wizard of auz]

SEBI86, mate, I'm really not sure your going to get work being that random. I'm not sure I would employ someone who doesn't know where to ask that question, as you would probably have trouble with continuity whilst compiling a flightplan. :ugh:
But to answer your question......Yes, its not a bad spot to start looking. I would advise you do a little more research other than dropping into a thread that has absolutely nothing to do with your subject, and asking.......Try the search option, it will provide far more information that your current method of researching.