Airport Officials

[V1 Rotate]

I am getting very fed up with the attitude of the various officials that we have to deal with around Africa.
We pay over fistfulls of $US for vitualy non existent services. The officials are usualy drunk and often show hostility to aircrew.
I have been flying around Africa for years and I feel the situation is getting worse!
What can we do about it?
V1 Rotate

[DownIn3Green]

Not a thing...that's why it's called the third world. I assume you're speaking of places like Chad, Zaire, Angola, Sudan, Nigeria, etc.

[The Guvnor]

You could do what I did in Nigeria - and buy yourself an ID card from the local Gestapo (in this case the State Security Service (SSS)).

First time I used it was at DNMM immigration - bod takes my passport and says "you have no visa" (= gimme dash). I show him residence permit. "It is not valid" he says (= gimme dash, Oyinbo!). I explain that it still has another two months to run. He then says he is cancelling it because I am not showing him 'respect' (= not giving him dash).

I then pull out SSS ID and invite him to accompany me to the airport nick, from whence he will be removed to a delightful resort known as kiriKiri. At this point, he becomes the first black guy I have ever seen turn white, along with his superior officer and the other immigration bods present (who immediately do the usual African disappearing act as when called upon to do something unpleasant, such as work).

From that day on, we had no sh*t with DNMM immigration! :) :)

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:) Happiness is a warm L1011 :)

[Was that for us?]

V1 Rotate.
If you cant take a joke you shouldn't have joined.

[The Guvnor]

WTFU - That immigration officer mate of Schalk's at BJM is still looking forward to his return!

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:) Happiness is a warm L1011 :)

[allisonpaddles]

down in three green,

jolly good but in all honesty i do not think angola is all that bad. they have always been polite to me, and as far as atc goes they do a reasonable job considering the amount of traffic there and the absence of civilian surveillance radar. on the other hand, waiting for two hours plus to get start clearance can cause an opinion adjustment...

[Max Torque]

The art of dealing with African airport officials could be turned into a mystic Eastern philosophy involving control of the heartbeat and bloodpressure, the seaking of inner peace and if all else fails maybe the removal of heads with a long sharp instrument. I think you just have to live with it and try to stonewall the worst excesses when you have the time and the inclination. My first-officer recently negotiated a 600 dollar parking and landing fee in Abuja down to 100 dollars, but then we are fortunate enough to have "UN" painted on our tail, which quite often helps.
However kudos where kudos are due: Addis Ababa is very good, but Banjul in Gambia is just the most efficient airport I have ever visited in Africa.
Now if I could just get one of those Gestapo passes the Guvnor has....
Y'all have a nice day.

[Max Torque]

And while on the subject...anybody have some does and don'ts for Luanda? I don't really want to go there, but I may not be able to avoid it in the near future. It is just a refuelling stop. Any advise would be very much appreciated.
Gracias.

[The Guvnor]

...On the other hand, don't do what I did when I started my op in Nigeria - I was visited on the flight deck by a bod wearing a seriously handsome uniform with a ton of gold braid that I figured just had to be the airport commandant, or at the very least the head of security. I showered him with much dash and cokes, got him to agree that he and his boys would "look after the aircraft well" and retired to my house on Victoria Island.

Came back the next day to find the aircraft the cleanest it had ever been since leaving Renton.

The bloke was, in fact, the head of the Airport Fire Service! :rolleyes:

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:) Happiness is a warm L1011 :)

[This message has been edited by The Guvnor (edited 06 June 2000).]

[allisonpaddles]

Guvnor,

maybe the more fires you put out, the more gold braid you get. i should be a millionaire by now...

[capt waffoo]

V1 rotate, just dont pay the bastards, theyll get used to the idea. I never paid a penny to these shysters and got thru a years work with no problems as they all knew from day one there was no dash coming from us.

Bribery only exists because people pay bribes.

(Mind you that was E coast...)