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talk_shy_tall_knight
5th Jul 2007, 11:22
Crab starts a thread.

Another crab completely misses the point and tells him to stop wingeing.

Crab re-makes the original point but in an effort to reinforce it, over-eggs the pud slightly.

Pongo tells everybody how long he spends 'boots on' in the sand.

Crab reacts to pongo, thus taking thread way off-subject.

Matelot tells everybody how little room there is on-board.

Ex Herc-mate syas it's not just SH.

Crab says he wasn't just talking about SH.

Yank offers general support (though to which side is unclear).

Pongo spouts off about PT (or lack of it in RAF).

Crab attempts to bring thread back onto topic, highlighting the efforts of all aircrew.

Techy bloke demands that engineers contribution be acknowledged (regardless of original thread subject)...........................................

Backwards PLT
5th Jul 2007, 11:26
lmao - Sticky this thread - it will save a lot of posts. :}

Wader2
5th Jul 2007, 11:31
What about comfort blanket from stack in stores guarded by plods?

The Helpful Stacker
5th Jul 2007, 11:39
There are no blankets in stores, we have 'just in (out of) time' ordering now. And the plods don't guard anymore, they investigate, hence their raise to the same pay band as techies.:rolleyes:

talk_shy_tall_knight
5th Jul 2007, 11:44
17 minutes.

tonkatechie
5th Jul 2007, 11:45
I'd like to complain about techies being left until the last line...:}

talk_shy_tall_knight
5th Jul 2007, 11:47
That's more like it.:ok:

WhiteOvies
5th Jul 2007, 11:50
It's cramped on board you know. You crabs don't like it! One set of clothes only for a run ashore. Right, back to my cabin.:}

PS As a matelot who works with the crabs I am confused as to who to support - I know its always a pongo's fault though. And no doubt someone will pick me up for spelling and grammar.

bwfg3
5th Jul 2007, 11:57
Its irrelevant which side you support, its all the fault of the PTI empire and the obsession with fitness testing, that's why we should all PVR when it becomes possible to do so on JPA (unless a FRI is in the offing) . :E

Gainesy
5th Jul 2007, 11:57
Well, when I was in.....:)

Fg Off Max Stout
5th Jul 2007, 12:02
- Someone then points out that it's all because Tony Blairt is a %?*£.
- Someone else - Actually it's all about George Bush
- 911 is a conspiracy
- WEBF - It's because of Sea Harrier
- Admin Guru - If pilots stopped wearing flying suits in the Mess and realised that bluntyism is the pointy end of the RAF this wouldn't have happened.
- Random Space Cadet - i gotmy oasC board 2mrwo can NE1 help me 2 no waht type of aircrafts is in the raf innit
- BEagle - Everything that's happened since 1957 is sh1t
- Some spotter - I saw an aeroplane over Yorkshire at 1528 yesterday. What type was it and what was it doing?
- Weakly disguised journo - I'm out of area at the mo, but heard about the mess party with the burning piano, nurses, zaps, broken legs, brandy sours, and cork moustaches. Anyone else there who can fill me in with details?
- Moderator. Thread closed.

Monday morning:
- Stn Cdr - You are not permitted to access PPRUNE on or off duty. That is an order.

teeteringhead
5th Jul 2007, 12:06
And noone's mentioned movers.....

..... or made a word play on "utterly utterly useless" ...


..... and we must have:

1. WEBFoot saying we should re-introduce SHARs

2.Jacko saying Jaguars would be quicker to deploy than SHARS

3. And BEags saying it doesn't matter because they are all flown by grammar school educated oiks ......:ok:

An Teallach
5th Jul 2007, 12:07
and it's all the fault of the Scribblies ...

It's Not Working
5th Jul 2007, 12:08
I take it JPA's been mended?

Sven Sixtoo
5th Jul 2007, 12:11
How come the movers haven't had a kicking yet?

Chugalug2
5th Jul 2007, 12:14
Mods, please stop this thread now. It is really very silly, and has just caused me to spit out coffee all over my monitor. Need I point out the serious safety related consequences should similar reactions be caused to other unsuspecting members innocently reading these posts? Enough, stop it now before tragedy strikes!

Gaz ED
5th Jul 2007, 12:17
BAES are a waste of space.

Eurofighter is shoite.

brickhistory
5th Jul 2007, 12:19
Oh, look, another book about the Vulcan.

Mine's the best!

The Helpful Stacker
5th Jul 2007, 12:20
Wastelands.

jollygreenfunmachine
5th Jul 2007, 12:22
You know movers are just as good as loadmasters if not better. I can do their job, they can't do mine.

Thud_and_Blunder
5th Jul 2007, 12:25
So, if wearing civvy shorts and sunglasses while on 2nd standby RS60, do we still have to ignore US CW2s? Can anyone planning to leave ISK in the next 10 minutes please provide the answer, if not too involved with getting the Grob up the stairs into the dining-in night. Please.

Sven Sixtoo
5th Jul 2007, 12:31
Now you are just being silly.

Will you grovel in accepting my opinion, or must I insult you personally, and everybody who works on the aircrft i think you fly but inf act you don't?




uncapiltalised "i" left in so you have a target for an incoherent rant as alternative to reason.

Wader2
5th Jul 2007, 12:33
Wiping the tears from my eyes to check my watch, exactly one hour to fill Page 1.

Thunder and blunder you b:mad:d. I got coffee up my nose.

An Teallach
5th Jul 2007, 12:35
Wibble, wibble f'tang f'tang biscuit-barrell and assorted puerile tripe.

Yours ever,

Samuraimatt

stbd beam
5th Jul 2007, 12:36
D'you know, I'm really not sure, I am actually starting to see the benefits of gas barbeques. New Labour wasn't such a bad idea was it? Gok Wan, now there's a lovely name. My new car isn't pink, its cerise. Got some tickets for the forthcoming Village People concert. Nowadays, half a pint of Stella is all I can manage. Movers, lovely people, eh.

I've got my Viagra, now where's the muscle relaxant gel ......

&*^%$£!!!? Phew, blimey - what happened there %$^%&*&^??

Gas is still definitely GAY

Chris Kebab
5th Jul 2007, 12:40
It's all gone down the pan since our favourite loadie Always Bleating in Wilts went to ground..

..what happened to him anyway?

teeteringhead
5th Jul 2007, 12:41
.... and not forgetting some ginger beer to remind us that:You can teach a monkey to ride a bike but not to mend a puncture!:rolleyes:

An Teallach
5th Jul 2007, 12:43
ABIW? He's lost the power of typing since Stbd beam found the viagra and muscle relaxant! :eek:

stbd beam
5th Jul 2007, 12:43
I’d like to take you to task over your last statement actually Wader2, I think you’ll find (whilst pushing glasses up nose …) that your statistic is indeed out of date, misleading, totally stupid and should be removed from this forum before offending everyone on the planet. The stats are: 29 posts in 1 hour and 23 minutes if you’d like to check your facts - stupid - idiot - rubbish ……

hoodie
5th Jul 2007, 12:49
Beadwindow!

Fg Off Max Stout
5th Jul 2007, 12:51
I have an amazing new video as well that I'll post a link to later.
And...have you heard the one about the aircraft carrier and the lighthouse?

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem: Number three engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem #1: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.
Solution #1: #2 Propeller seepage normal.
Problem #2: #1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.

Problem: The autopilot doesn't.
Signed off: IT DOES NOW.

Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: Volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what they're there for.

Not_a_boffin
5th Jul 2007, 12:52
Anyway, ignoring aircraft, can we talk about ships now?

N Arslow
5th Jul 2007, 13:08
Would the last one to leave this thread please turn off the lights on your way out...

The Unknown Stuntman
5th Jul 2007, 13:17
Hoodie,
Priceless fella, just priceless.

On_The_Top_Bunk
5th Jul 2007, 14:27
C130J > C130K :ouch:

Wader2
5th Jul 2007, 14:28
I’d like to take you to task over your last statement actually Wader2, I think you’ll find (whilst pushing glasses up nose …) that your statistic is indeed out of date, misleading, totally stupid and should be removed from this forum before offending everyone on the planet. The stats are: 29 posts in 1 hour and 23 minutes if you’d like to check your facts - stupid - idiot - rubbish ……

Stbd Beam I take exception to that post.

When I was . . .

but then it was always Port Beam or indeed off beam but I think this is now well and truly off thread . . .

anyway I think on average 99% of what you said was made up on the spot.

Gaz ED
5th Jul 2007, 14:44
LEAN is stupid.

No it isn't.

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

Ad Nauseum.

c130jbloke
5th Jul 2007, 15:46
JPA is a quantum leap forward in provideing quality HRM to our brave lads and lasses in uniform !
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
:bored::bored:

shawtarce
5th Jul 2007, 16:02
I'd LOVE to sign on to 55..............

Safety_Helmut
5th Jul 2007, 16:07
The RAF Collection looks pretty good !
http://www.rafcollection.com/

VitaminGee
5th Jul 2007, 16:10
IPTs are brilliant too. I mean, look at the cracking job the CVF and Dave mobs are doing. Well Done! :D

Gnd
5th Jul 2007, 16:11
I am confused, shouldn't we be slagging Tim Collins by now?

I know, it doesn't take much!

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 16:17
PMA always give you a choice of postings and the option that suits you best.

Subsistence is more than adequate and leaves plenty for drinking chits.

airborne_artist
5th Jul 2007, 16:41
When does someone pop up and complain about spelling/grammar/yoofspk/txtspk?

An Teallach
5th Jul 2007, 16:52
Now, you illiterate little oik!

civobs
5th Jul 2007, 17:02
dear forum,

this thread is an utterly childish spectacle that is clearly bringing the raf and all of the services into disrepute. nobody will ever want to join up if this is way you behave!

yours most concernedly,
disgusted of.... :ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 17:23
civobs, i think your casual use of lower case and is great and more of the raf should take note

PICKS135
5th Jul 2007, 17:25
Can anyone help me with Cranwell or do I have to do it all myself ?

SaddamsLoveChild
5th Jul 2007, 17:37
err can anyone confirm that the FRI promised at last months thriftshop meeting .......blah....blah .......cos I am worf it and they that dont wot I IS DOING IN THE SANDPIT dont deserve it........yah de yah de yah....
.....
.....
.......
........and why cant I wear flippa de floppas?

Clear Right,Px Good!
5th Jul 2007, 17:38
On The Top Bunk,

Check your equation !

C130J > C130K :ouch:


I think you will find you meant:

y = k x

Substituting:

y = C130J Drivel x

where k is a constant !

CRPxGood:=

green granite
5th Jul 2007, 17:48
Can anyone help me with Cranwell or do I have to do it all myself ?

Quite what would you like to do with it. http://209.85.48.8/1889/52/emo/avion.gif

Gnd
5th Jul 2007, 17:51
Wright that's it, the final straw - I want one of thoes flying Jonnies at the end of my typing!!!!!:cool:

airborne_artist
5th Jul 2007, 17:53
Barrier up, barrier down :}

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 17:56
Can anyone help me with Cranwell or do I have to do it all myself ?

I've done all my research about Cranwell, can I tell you all how it goes?

Gnd
5th Jul 2007, 17:57
Who's Cranwell and would they mind 3?;)

An Teallach
5th Jul 2007, 17:57
Can anyone tell me the Tail No and Pilot's inside leg measurement of the GR5 that flew over Auchentoshan at 07:00 this morning?

airborne_artist
5th Jul 2007, 17:59
AT - No, but he's not stopped whining yet.

Clear Right,Px Good!
5th Jul 2007, 17:59
Can anyone tell me the Tail No and Pilot's inside leg measurement of the GR5 that flew over Auchetoshan at 07:00 this morning?


ZULU or LOCAL?

Gnd
5th Jul 2007, 17:59
Yes they can

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 18:01
Trouble with threads like this they are too serious and used by those with time on their hands to use advanced search and exhaust all possible lines of enquiry before repeating what has been said before.

Trouble with threads like this is ..........

Gnd
5th Jul 2007, 18:04
Yes they can:rolleyes:

pba_target
5th Jul 2007, 18:05
Shouldn't this thread be in Jet Blast? It has nothing to do with military aviation!

Gnd
5th Jul 2007, 18:07
Why Jet blast, the Military has nothing to do with it either, well any more, not today!!!

An Teallach
5th Jul 2007, 18:10
Yes they can
Oh! Was it you Gnd? Was it? Wow, a tail No, inside leg and pprune handle! Oh, I've just made a mess in my spotter's book. :8 Has anyone got a hankie?

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 18:11
Guys, Guys,

Just get on with it. A break from the office should be just the ticket:zzz:. If you don't go - what are they going to do - shave your head and send you to war? Hmmm.

As has been posted before - doesn't matter how many times you get tested it's the standard set for the test - which by the way is far too low.

Do you remember all those course citiques you filled in? 'Great course but we needed earlier starts and more PT'


RL

Oops sorry, wrong thread

Clear Right,Px Good!
5th Jul 2007, 18:18
Can anyone tell me the Tail No and Pilot's inside leg measurement of the GR5 that flew over Auchetoshan at 07:00 this morning?




ZULU or LOCAL?



I'll ask again, was the pilot a Zulu or a Local ?

Gainesy
5th Jul 2007, 18:22
Feathery Titfer = Zulu
Check Frock = Local

Vidal
5th Jul 2007, 18:22
There's alot of creep on this thread - can everyone stick to the topic please?

SirToppamHat
5th Jul 2007, 18:24
Good Lord, I believe there are persons on this thread who are not pilots ... or aircrew ... or officers ... or RAF ... or even military.

It's about time we had our own thread. A proper thread visited by proper people where walts, and the like, could not come and stir-up trouble or talk rot generally and we can all just talk about ME (and my Harrier).;)

Mr-AEO
5th Jul 2007, 18:25
Shouldn't you lot be doing your fitness test for the 2nd time this year or something?...

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 18:26
I am going to ask a stupid question can you all take the piss for a laugh please?

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 18:29
Shouldn't you lot be doing your fitness test for the 2nd time this year or something?...

Oh stop nagging Mr AEO. The fitness test is such fun and helps improve espirit d'corps that all my girls do it every week.

Clear Right,Px Good!
5th Jul 2007, 18:58
Oh stop nagging Mr AEO. The fitness test is such fun and helps improve espirit d'corps that all my girls do it every week.


I hope you're talking about the fitness test ?

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 19:04
A fitness test twice a year is no burden at all.

This thread is getting frivolous and should be more serious like the others.

An Teallach
5th Jul 2007, 19:06
Can you buy a schnorkel for a Weber? My steaks are a bit damp.

woodring
5th Jul 2007, 19:26
Can I wear a brevet on my pt kit ?

Pontius Navigator
5th Jul 2007, 19:28
Why can't I wear DCC or NBC kit down the pub?

Fg Off Max Stout
5th Jul 2007, 19:35
Why can't I wear DCC or NBC kit down the pub?

Don't you just hate it when people quote the previous post in entirity for no apparent reason.

Anyway, back on topic: 'My Lovely Webley'

http://www.frenchparadise.net/modules/Page/html/images/webley-ammo.jpg

c130jbloke
5th Jul 2007, 19:53
Can you do this extra JPA on the RAFFT ?

:hmm:

Safety_Helmut
5th Jul 2007, 20:11
Was anyone else disappointed not to see Geoff Hoon bought back to Defence in Gordon's reshuffle last week ?

splitbrain
5th Jul 2007, 20:20
None of you has a coherent argument, there's more intelligent life on E-Goat FFS :E

Safeware
5th Jul 2007, 20:43
But were you after the 5 min argument or the full half hour?

sw

An Teallach
5th Jul 2007, 20:54
Can you do this extra JPA on the RAFFT ?

I'm not sure, but weren't the Americans testing a JX1299945 in the area at the time? Can you tell me when the APO1234 was fitted to the RAFFT, which airframes and in which order?

Walter Kennedy

The Helpful Stacker
5th Jul 2007, 21:11
Why don't you Brits salute US warrant officers?

Salute us, SALUTE US........:{

Fluffy Bunny
5th Jul 2007, 21:19
But :ugh:wat am:p bestest airOpLaNs:( in de rAf:E???

And is ;)you flying dem wat?:}

:ok::(:*:=:O:E:sad:;)

Sinjmajeep
5th Jul 2007, 21:27
Can we talk about the Vulcan now. Did you know there is a new book out about it by some bloke called Tim something or other. Oh and another thing I have a wheezy chest am too tall and I used to get fits as a child and the R.A.F won't accept me can I sue? Aren't the red arrows great. Anybody know what the Tornado was doing flying circles at Cottosmore at lunch time it flew right over me as I was eating my sandwiches. Are we still buying some aircraft carriers? Did you know the Jaguars have been taken out of service? And lastly DID YOU FLY THE VULCAN?

civobs
5th Jul 2007, 21:42
no. but honestly, will dave need a gun?






pontificating navelgazer: isn't there something in qr's about the omitting full stops from the end of sentences?

Sinjmajeep
5th Jul 2007, 21:44
A gun? Probably. Just remembered why the hell wasn't I told that the Waddingto Airshow was cancelled. Poor show that someone didn't at least ring me before I set off.

civobs
5th Jul 2007, 21:54
can i have a free brietling too please?

LBGR
5th Jul 2007, 22:29
Would I look stupid if I wore a stable belt with my flying suit/ chip bag with my civvies/ posted this thread on pprune? :confused:

diginagain
5th Jul 2007, 22:30
Was that a picture of the Mess Webley, and do any of the Airships intend to put it to use?


Is that the sound of Pongos laughing?

Sinjmajeep
5th Jul 2007, 22:41
OMG this thread is so funny that I have spilt coffee all over my computer, floor, house, wife, car, cat, and just about everywhere else. Strangely enough though having just got coffee (why is it always coffee:confused:) on my computer it still works.

diginagain
6th Jul 2007, 00:11
Wet-pants.


(Quite possibly........)

GreenKnight121
6th Jul 2007, 00:44
As a Yank, I just want to say you lot have really got the shaft, and I hope someone fixes it right quick, and starts treating you better... and would you want some Uber-Bugs to go with your new carriers or maybe just lease a couple of our old ones, we'll throw in the S-3s and Phantoms for free.


And why don't any of you lot salute our WOs?

Tourist
6th Jul 2007, 05:59
Anybody want a fight?

Pontius Navigator
6th Jul 2007, 06:15
Oh somebody has already said what I was going to say but I didn't bother to look first so

Will I be able to get a Breitling from stores or should I buy a Timex instead? It must be very accurate and waterproof to 300m. I want to join the air force as I get sea sick and the navy helicopters keep crashng i've been told. I have dual nationality and don't know whether to join the raf or the American air force as they as so . . . and have much better aeroplanes and drop more bombs.

Will I be able to chose what I want to fly and where I can live as my fiance doen't like the air force and doesn't want to leave Scunthorpe?

Will I be able to get a job with Virgin when I have learnt to fly?

Mr C Hinecap
6th Jul 2007, 08:14
All occifers are b'stards
All coppers are b'stards
All Movers are b'stards
Stackers don't give me anyfink
I have a story from 1949 that proves all above points
I have asthma - can I fly please?
It were a grand air force when we had battle dress
dont tayke the pish i cun write dead good wen I wanna - can I have a playn
tsw are GREAT (THS special)
one stick one vote
isn't the RAF PR rather splendid this year? Super work all round.
I hope I can stay in until 55
I've never googled the 'on line pension calculator'

Pontius Navigator
6th Jul 2007, 08:16
Only the army really understand Air Power.

Fly navy.

6Z3
6th Jul 2007, 08:49
Anyone seen my Ipod. Yer, its' in the Samsonite she swapped with the nice Iranian's for a suit, along with the spare GPS.

shack
6th Jul 2007, 09:04
I know it's all my fault since I became French!!

whiz
6th Jul 2007, 09:34
I think you'll find that the max payload was 20,000 lbs with 80,000 lbs max TOW however if the top of the cruise was to be ISA +10 the max TOW was reduced to 60,000 lbs giving max cruise range of 8 squillion miles. However in the case of max TOW being less than the min landing weight the coriolis effect would take over and reduce max cruise by the square root of TAS x OAT ... in the Northern hemisphere ... obviously

TorqueOfTheDevil
6th Jul 2007, 09:54
I am confused as to who to support


Tut tut WhiteOvies, should be "to whom to support"...

TheInquisitor
6th Jul 2007, 10:11
Great, now we've got our own TRABANT - SPOITY thingy to waste bandwidth with.....

Funny as f**k, though!

Gainesy
6th Jul 2007, 11:09
It all went down the pan when StayBright badges and buttons were issued (Tone up) and MT went from blue to Pongo colour (Tone down). I blame the Leaping Heap (Bonajet in Yoof speak).:*

green granite
6th Jul 2007, 11:18
Life's not been the same since they started parking cars and caravans on the parade ground. :ugh:

Wholigan
6th Jul 2007, 12:10
since they started parking cars and caravans on the parade groundParade ground?? PARADE GROUND??? You namby-pamby spoilt load of brats probably don’t even know what a parade ground is!

When I were a lad, we had to get up and run round the parade ground 50 times before we were allowed to have breakfast. When we’d had breakfast we did 5 hours drill on the parade ground, including 2 hours of precision rifle drill with no orders. After that we had to do 6 hours of ground school with full written exams that lasted for 30 minutes every hour. If we passed all the exams with a pass mark of 98.4%, we were allowed to have some lunch. If not, we had to sit all the exams again.

After lunch we had to learn all of the checks for the Bleriot Monoplane, the Tiger Moth and the Chipmunk. If we got through the oral exams satisfactorily they let us sit in the Chipmunk for 25 minutes before we then ran 50 times round the parade ground again. If we got round the parade ground 50 times in less than 8 minutes, we could have some dinner. If we were too slow we had to keep running round until we DID get 50 laps done in less than 8 minutes. One lad I knew was running for 9 weeks once.

Once we had eaten, we spent the next 14 hours bulling the room and making bed packs before we then got to bed. If we were lucky we managed to stay asleep for 45 minutes or so before we were woken to start running round the parade ground again.

After 9 months of this we started flying. If we hadn’t gone solo in 2 hours and 30 minutes we were chopped. The whole flying part of the course lasted for 5 days and then we were sent off to Peshawar on 20 Sqn flying Westland Wapitis against the “they don’t like it up ‘em” brigade. If we managed to kill 4000 enemy troops in the first 2 years, we were allowed 2 days off to sleep and drink. Otherwise we just kept on going. Chum of mine was a lousy shot and he was there for 37 years non-stop.

And during all this time we had to pay the Air Ministry £3 - 14 shillings and threepence for food and accommodation costs, not that we had any real accommodation. I slept under the aircraft wing for 7 years.

And this lot whingers in here think they have it bad. BEagle will tell yer I'm right.

Pontius Navigator
6th Jul 2007, 12:10
Why can't I wear green rank tapes as the blue ones stand out on my CS95, DCC ?

Is an EAW a habit or a tradition?

cornish-stormrider
6th Jul 2007, 12:27
another interject from pongos about what a moaning bunch of uniformed civvies we are.


crab replies not me mate, I spent 9 million weeks in the sandpit last month on SH/AT and I think them lazy uk based crabs are a bunch of pooftahs

Pontius Navigator
6th Jul 2007, 12:40
Parade ground?? PARADE GROUND??? You namby-pamby spoilt load of brats probably don’t even know what a parade ground is!

When I were a lad, we had to get up and run round the parade ground 50 times before we were allowed to have breakfast. When we’d had breakfast we did 5 hours drill on the parade ground, including 2 hours of precision rifle drill with no orders. After that we had to do 6 hours of ground school with full written exams that lasted for 30 minutes every hour. If we passed all the exams with a pass mark of 98.4%, we were allowed to have some lunch. If not, we had to sit all the exams again.

After lunch we had to learn all of the checks for the Bleriot Monoplane, the Tiger Moth and the Chipmunk. If we got through the oral exams satisfactorily they let us sit in the Chipmunk for 25 minutes before we then ran 50 times round the parade ground again. If we got round the parade ground 50 times in less than 8 minutes, we could have some dinner. If we were too slow we had to keep running round until we DID get 50 laps done in less than 8 minutes. One lad I knew was running for 9 weeks once.

Once we had eaten, we spent the next 14 hours bulling the room and making bed packs before we then got to bed. If we were lucky we managed to stay asleep for 45 minutes or so before we were woken to start running round the parade ground again.

After 9 months of this we started flying. If we hadn’t gone solo in 2 hours and 30 minutes we were chopped. The whole flying part of the course lasted for 5 days and then we were went off to Peshawar on 20 Sqn flying Westland Wapitis against the “they don’t like it up ‘em” brigade. If we managed to kill 4000 enemy troops in the first 2 years, we were allowed 2 days off to sleep and drink. Otherwise we just kept on going. Chum of mine was a lousy shot and he was there for 37 years non-stop.

And during all this time we had to pay the Air Ministry £3 - 14 shillings and threepence for food and accommodation costs, not that we had any real accommodation. I slept under the aircraft wing for 7 years.

And this lot whingers in here think they have it bad. BEagle will tell yer I'm right.

You Wimp,

Once we had eaten, we spent the next 14 hours bulling the room and making bed packs before we then got to bed. If we were lucky we managed to stay asleep for 45 minutes or so before we were woken to start running round the parade ground again.

GOT TO BED

We had to sleep under the bed so as not to disturb the bed block. While under the bed we had to polish the springs.

Next you will be telling us that your bed was in a room of 20 blokes. We were in one of 80. AND IT WASN'T a room it was a tent.

Namby pamby softee softee you young whipper snappers have no idea what it was like in the 20 minuters.

Sinjmajeep
6th Jul 2007, 12:45
Hello I am looking to get a couple of crowns done can anyone recommend a good dentist? The thing is I left 20 squillion years ago because I thought the Fleet Air arm was crap and now I realise that I am indeed like Tonkaengo a NATO potato and want to rejoin.
Has anybody got any idea where I can buy Oragophosphate there are a couple of people I would like to pour it over, the person responsible for making the fitness test twice a year is one.
Indradhanush? No idea.
Anybody know if I have been promoted? Do you have a link to the July promotion board? Even my Granddad who was in the R.A.F made it to SAC. I fear that I am the only one left who hasn't been promoted.

Gurkha Rifleman Pun was asked on his arrival in the UK how do you feel now? I would like to say "It doesn't get better than this but I am a little concerned that the RAF AT fleet is suffering and only able to produce 44 planes for tasking but at least the Navy are getting new carriers. The thing that has really annoyed me though is that I have travelled all the way from Nepal to find that the air show at Waddington was cancelled. No text message or letter, nothing, it is a disgrace, I don't care if your house has floated away I should have been told.
I am looking forward to getting a new SD hat if anybody out there knows a good supplier.
Lastly I would just like to say that I am looking forward to having a good discussion about the Vulcan. Did anybody out there fly it. I know that it should be in the Nostalgia forum but what the hell.

Gainesy
6th Jul 2007, 12:50
We had to sleep under the bed so as not to disturb the bed block.

Yup. Ditto on that. (After having said bed pack hoyed out the window, two days running).:)

antipodean alligator
6th Jul 2007, 13:18
Perhaps we could fit the Webley to the Typhoon...Apparently the in service support and ammunition costs are much cheaper than a Mauser

civobs
6th Jul 2007, 13:39
"As a Yank"
:bored: and does one really have to salute someone who's uniform was obviously designed by cadillac in 1959?

dining in night ettiquette: with or without crusts and does one have to share the gifts from the crackers?

will my bum look big in this http://tinyurl.com/yssmn4 (http://tinyurl.com/yssmn4) and does one have to remove it when collecting the vc for single handedly delivering a bucket of lemony jif to every major u.s. city in the valiant?

hi i'm red n, no salt and vinegar on the saveloy ta.

did you know, there are 72 spawn of icelandic maidens that have brown eyes in reykjavik?

Gnd
6th Jul 2007, 14:22
No cam - No Scran :confused:

Pontius Navigator
6th Jul 2007, 14:44
No Scran?

Their cutting the aircrew rations, charging for food, the quarters rent is going up faster than the quarters are falling down now they expect us to pay to get to work and they expect us to wear hats when we are at work an dthey expect us to answer stupid questions about saluting warrant officers of other air forces armies navies.

then sum prat here will go on about spull chuckers the shift key and the stop key

Sinjmajeep
6th Jul 2007, 14:46
You forgot to add a full stop after your last sentence.:=

MostlyHarmless
6th Jul 2007, 14:51
Hi, I'd like to start by quoting large tracts of the thread

Originally Posted by Wholigan View Post
Parade ground?? PARADE GROUND??? You namby-pamby spoilt load of brats probably don’t even know what a parade ground is!

When I were a lad, we had to get up and run round the parade ground 50 times before we were allowed to have breakfast. When we’d had breakfast we did 5 hours drill on the parade ground, including 2 hours of precision rifle drill with no orders. After that we had to do 6 hours of ground school with full written exams that lasted for 30 minutes every hour. If we passed all the exams with a pass mark of 98.4%, we were allowed to have some lunch. If not, we had to sit all the exams again.
After lunch we had to learn all of the checks for the Bleriot Monoplane, the Tiger Moth and the Chipmunk. If we got through the oral exams satisfactorily they let us sit in the Chipmunk for 25 minutes before we then ran 50 times round the parade ground again. If we got round the parade ground 50 times in less than 8 minutes, we could have some dinner. If we were too slow we had to keep running round until we DID get 50 laps done in less than 8 minutes. One lad I knew was running for 9 weeks once.

Once we had eaten, we spent the next 14 hours bulling the room and making bed packs before we then got to bed. If we were lucky we managed to stay asleep for 45 minutes or so before we were woken to start running round the parade ground again.

After 9 months of this we started flying. If we hadn’t gone solo in 2 hours and 30 minutes we were chopped. The whole flying part of the course lasted for 5 days and then we were went off to Peshawar on 20 Sqn flying Westland Wapitis against the “they don’t like it up ‘em” brigade. If we managed to kill 4000 enemy troops in the first 2 years, we were allowed 2 days off to sleep and drink. Otherwise we just kept on going. Chum of mine was a lousy shot and he was there for 37 years non-stop.
And during all this time we had to pay the Air Ministry £3 - 14 shillings and threepence for food and accommodation costs, not that we had any real accommodation. I slept under the aircraft wing for 7 years.

And this lot whingers in here think they have it bad. BEagle will tell yer I'm right.
You Wimp,

Once we had eaten, we spent the next 14 hours bulling the room and making bed packs before we then got to bed. If we were lucky we managed to stay asleep for 45 minutes or so before we were woken to start running round the parade ground again.
GOT TO BED

We had to sleep under the bed so as not to disturb the bed block. While under the bed we had to polish the springs.

Next you will be telling us that your bed was in a room of 20 blokes. We were in one of 80. AND IT WASN'T a room it was a tent.
Namby pamby softee softee you young whipper snappers have no idea what it was like in the 20 minuters.
Quote:
since they started parking cars and caravans on the parade ground
Parade ground?? PARADE GROUND??? You namby-pamby spoilt load of brats probably don’t even know what a parade ground is!
When I were a lad, we had to get up and run round the parade ground 50 times before we were allowed to have breakfast. When we’d had breakfast we did 5 hours drill on the parade ground, including 2 hours of precision rifle drill with no orders. After that we had to do 6 hours of ground school with full written exams that lasted for 30 minutes every hour. If we passed all the exams with a pass mark of 98.4%, we were allowed to have some lunch. If not, we had to sit all the exams again.
After lunch we had to learn all of the checks for the Bleriot Monoplane, the Tiger Moth and the Chipmunk. If we got through the oral exams satisfactorily they let us sit in the Chipmunk for 25 minutes before we then ran 50 times round the parade ground again. If we got round the parade ground 50 times in less than 8 minutes, we could have some dinner. If we were too slow we had to keep running round until we DID get 50 laps done in less than 8 minutes. One lad I knew was running for 9 weeks once.
Once we had eaten, we spent the next 14 hours bulling the room and making bed packs before we then got to bed. If we were lucky we managed to stay asleep for 45 minutes or so before we were woken to start running round the parade ground again.
After 9 months of this we started flying. If we hadn’t gone solo in 2 hours and 30 minutes we were chopped. The whole flying part of the course lasted for 5 days and then we were went off to Peshawar on 20 Sqn flying Westland Wapitis against the “they don’t like it up ‘em” brigade. If we managed to kill 4000 enemy troops in the first 2 years, we were allowed 2 days off to sleep and drink. Otherwise we just kept on going. Chum of mine was a lousy shot and he was there for 37 years non-stop.
And during all this time we had to pay the Air Ministry £3 - 14 shillings and threepence for food and accommodation costs, not that we had any real accommodation. I slept under the aircraft wing for 7 years.
And this lot whingers in here think they have it bad. BEagle will tell yer I'm right.

Now I'd like to post an image although I don't know how
http://www.onux.be/wp-content/image_not_found.gif
Back in a minute to edit this.

Ok, Back - anyone know how to post pictures here? Think I need a photo bucket or something?

Pontius Navigator
6th Jul 2007, 14:58
Then there are the apostrophe police who are senior to mere stoppers.

The front of the JSP553 contains a statement from the SofS for Defence, it states that the MoD will regulate it's :=aircraft such that airworthiness is maintained to as standard which is at least as good as the civil world. Think about that statement and its implications very carefully.

Gnd
6th Jul 2007, 16:05
It is wrong, maybe?

PICKS135
6th Jul 2007, 16:52
Those in charge were really wrong to even think about buying C-195's. The A9900000000000000000 will be a much better buy [when we put pencil to paper and draw it], and will keep me in a job for years.

Sinjmajeep
6th Jul 2007, 16:55
Rubbish!!! the A90000000000000000000 is not upto the job. I don't care what you think, I am an expert on every subject on prune, your point of view doesn't matter to me as it is clearly wrong so don't bother answering.

Pontius Navigator
6th Jul 2007, 16:59
Those in charge were really wrong to even think about buying C-195's. The A9900000000000000000 will be a much better buy [when we put pencil to paper and draw it], and will keep me in a job for years.

But we could buy a dozen S61s in the market now and ship them straight to wherever and save the money by scrapping the Sea Harrier. Anyway we don't need a nuclear submarine or Typhoon.

c130jbloke
6th Jul 2007, 17:12
And we could staff it all on JPA ! I am a big fan of it you know

:}:}

jet_noseover
6th Jul 2007, 17:16
Today's nostalgia piccy:
http://www.quartermaster.army.mil/OQMG/professional_bulletin/2002/Summer02/Images/History-WWII%20rations%20development.jpg

Sinjmajeep
6th Jul 2007, 17:18
Right everybody, look its a spam yank Chief Master chief warrant officer chief so make sure you salute him.

c130jbloke
6th Jul 2007, 17:32
Twice !!!!

:ok:

diginagain
6th Jul 2007, 17:47
Pukka kit, real rifles, food in tins, big hats, and he's smiling.
Them were the days...........

ace innick
6th Jul 2007, 17:52
I have been following this site for 63 years now but have never had anything relevant to say about anything until now. Come to think of it, I still haven't got anything useful to add to the debate.

jet_noseover
6th Jul 2007, 17:54
Elegant Potato SPAM Casserole

Ingredients:

1 (10-3/4-ounce) can condensed cream of potato soup
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided
2 tablespoons sherry
4 cups hot, prepared mashed potatoes
Nonstick cooking spray
1 (12-ounce) can SPAM luncheon meat, cut into small pieces
1/4 teaspoon paprika

Directions: Heat oven to 425°F. Combine soup, 2 tablespoons cheese, and sherry; stir until smooth. Spoon mashed potatoes into 1-1/2-quart casserole coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle SPAM on top of potatoes. Spread soup mixture over SPAM. Sprinkle remaining 2 tablespoons cheese and paprika over soup mixture. Bake 20 minutes or until thoroughly heated.
Serves 8.

Multiply as needed to feed the army.....

For desert:

Oh SPAM™! Oh SPAM™! Gourmet delight!
My food by day, my dreams by night.
To carve, to slice, to dice you up -
pureed in a blender and sipped from a cup.

What shining deity from Olympus knelt
down to the earth and hog butt smelt?
Creating then man's eternal desire
for swine entrails congealed by fire.

On some corporate farm, a pig has died.
Eyes, tongue, and snout end up inside
that cube of SPAM™ hidden in the can
I now hold in my trembling hand.

More than mere food, SPAM™ is for me
a hedonistic expression of gluttonous glee.
Mottled with pork fat, the pink cube engrosses.
My mouth takes it in, my intestine disposes.

Long have my arteries clogged to the sound
of sizzling SPAM™ when there's no one around -
furtively chewing or swallowing whole.
Triple bypass by forty, my medical goal.

Other processed meat products I've tried or declined
Vienna Sausages, Treet, even pig's feet in brine.
Though each may be tasty in different ways,
none matches SPAM™ for gelatinous glaze.

That glistening pinkness beckons me
with gristle, fat, and BHT.
Oh SPAM™! Oh SPAM™! - the taste, the smell!
The sacred meat product, from Hormel

engineer(retard)
6th Jul 2007, 19:31
And if you lot had worked harder at school, I would not have to read this drivel because you would be flying a fast jet, shagging the best birds and too pissed to write because you had spent this weeks £20m flying pay on beer in one night and did not even need to piss and then played mess rugby with a live bull before jumping back into your crate to do 20 minutes work without having had any sleep before starting all over again

Gnd
6th Jul 2007, 20:14
Bloody hell, that sounds tough. Glad I didn't work, more time to disagree with the world on pprune!!!:eek:

jet_noseover
6th Jul 2007, 20:14
And if you lot had worked harder at school, I would not have to read this drivel because you would be flying a fast jet, shagging the best birds and too pissed to write because you had spent this weeks £20m flying pay on beer in one night and did not even need to piss and then played mess rugby with a live bull before jumping back into your crate to do 20 minutes work without having had any sleep before starting all over again

And the above drivel makes you a college grad, yes?

....or an eloquent crab....
:}

Sinjmajeep
6th Jul 2007, 20:21
Online now

nigegilb (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=135332), pba_target (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=102180), Maple 01 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=61088), topcat_230 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=180165), Safety_Helmut (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=108511), clicker (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=107597), TonkaEngO(NATO Potato) (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=163932), Transall (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=133125), engoal (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=152053), ciscostar (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=124979), tucumseh (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=65525), Throat (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=172856), Stuntmole (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=58230), Gnd (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=15843), Archimedes (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=6910), jet_noseover (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=54716), Cpl Plod (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=45554), NigelOnDraft (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=25585), bunta130 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=48949), papagiorgio (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=65875), polecat2 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=147293), DeepC (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=50228), Lucy Lastic (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=144591), Fray (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=159449), k3k3 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=126725), WasNaeMe (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=128414), Sospan (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=158418), BluntM8 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=56183), The Gorilla (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=15621), OzPax1 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=25238), Safeware (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=107555), pontifex (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=156688), SeenTheLight (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=22943), gar170 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=156512), Stuff (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=74131), waspy77 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=146993), vmv2 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=125778), SARREMF (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=114379), AC Ovee (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=158331), Beamish Boy (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=140743), airwaverider (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=146882), Benzimra (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=61459), Per Ordure Ad Asti (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=28427), barnstormer1968 (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=145976), engineer(retard) (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=105262), SidHolding (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=108417), Gary Lager (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=103893), Futurnav(wannabee) (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=165499)

Who is Cpl Plod? Night after night he logs in but does not post.

engineer(retard)
6th Jul 2007, 20:28
JN

RN College grad and a crab. Bet you've got a flat top haircut.

regards

retard

jet_noseover
6th Jul 2007, 20:40
Yo, retarded crabby..


me be top and not flat.... no haircut in particular. (read: bold not old.. or should that be - bald)

:)

engineer(retard)
6th Jul 2007, 20:46
Ah Sir that will be a short, back and shine then

regards

retard

jet_noseover
6th Jul 2007, 20:53
I am glowing now.......

Sinjmajeep
6th Jul 2007, 21:12
Excellent...... Just when we are having Vulcan thread withdrawal symptoms up pops a K Vrs J thread to brighten up our sad lives.

Lon More
6th Jul 2007, 21:17
Only the army really understand Air Power.
Fly navy.
Navy Flyhttp://www.seattlefabrics.com/F_097_CUT.jpg

c130jbloke
6th Jul 2007, 21:17
WHAT !!!!!!!!!!! We got some new equipment ??????????????
JEEEEEEZZZZZUUUUSSSSSS !!!!
:eek::eek::eek:

Safety_Helmut
6th Jul 2007, 21:49
TonkaEngO(NATO Potato)

maybe Cpl Plod's looking for the b@st@rd who changed Tonka's name !

jet_noseover
6th Jul 2007, 21:49
c130jbloke

No need to call on the allmighty unless your willy gets cought in one of them new fly equipment..........

BootFlap
6th Jul 2007, 22:47
Can you tell me how to attach a link /photo.
.
.
.
.
(And no, I am not going to look at the earlier pst, I would rather you direct me to it and maybe abuse me on the way)
}-}-}-}-

BootFlap
6th Jul 2007, 22:49
Why don't my }-}-}- look like:ugh::ugh:

BootFlap
6th Jul 2007, 22:51
Oh look, they do now!
PS. Is Virgin/BA/BMI/EasyJet recruiting and is the pay better than mine?

On_The_Top_Bunk
6th Jul 2007, 23:11
How do you do those c00l quote things?

civobs
6th Jul 2007, 23:55
aaaanyway, who is that foxy sounding minx on typhoon quest?


................

BEagle
7th Jul 2007, 09:25
this PC thing is so crap imean we cant even call guy gibbson's dog by it's proper name which aint right...

waah is this wwah whatever

ok m8s?