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Big Sand
13th Jun 2007, 21:36
:DHi Guy's,
The first UGSAS reunion is set for Aug - thanks to all that helped get it off the ground. I strongly suspect it will be a 'Park Circus night of Shame'.

In preparation can I ask for any help out there with a song sheet for the evening's light entertainment? After a 'few' year like most of you I can recall some of the words but collectively I recon we can remember all the words to the favourite Ballads drifting across Park Circus..........:mad:

So..............can I get the ball rolling with - " The Doggies Party"

The Doggies Party.

The doggies had a party
They came from near and far
And some they came by aeroplane
And some they came by car
And when they all arrived
They signed the doggies book
And each unzipped his arsehole
And hung it on a hook.

One dog was not invited
This sorely hurt his ire
He walked into the party
And loudly shouted FIRE!
The doggies they did panic
Without a second look
They grabbed the nearest arsehole
From off the nearest hook

The doggies they were grieved
It hurt them very sore
To wear another aresehole
They’d never worn before
And that’s the only reason
A dog will leave his bone
To sniff another’s arsehole
To see if it’s his own.

Signed. Fido.:E

Excuse me if I got missed my words here, it';s been a few years and way too many units of alcohol since I paid my last mess bill at Park Circus. 47 entry was the BEST :D:cool::yuk::ok:

Big Sand

WeegyOne
19th Jun 2007, 11:03
Thanks for starting this thread. The Sqn is currently severley lacking in its singing ability and needs your help!

The only song with UGSAS in the title I know of is:

I don't want to join the Air Force
I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around Kelvinbridge Underground
Living off the earnings of a high class lady
I don't want to take it up the arsehole
I don't want my bollocks shot away (shot away)
I'd rather be in UGSAS, In bonnie bonnie UGSAS
Than fornicate my fricking life away, cor blimey.

Does anyone remember the same tume being used for:

On Monday I touched her on the ankle
On Tuesday I touched her on the knee
On Wednesday I confess, I lifted up her dress
On Thursday she touched me cor blimey
On Friday I put my hand upon it
On Saturday she gave my balls a squueze (balls a squeeze)
And on Sunday after supper I rammed the .... etc

Come on chaps, lets hear some more!!!

betty swallox
19th Jun 2007, 11:23
Aye. I've got 'em all at home...prob the same "song book" you have Weegy One.
However, does anyone remember the "tune" PJ (S Phelps-Jones) used to sing after a sherbert..went a bit like this..ahem...
"Last night I contemplated Masturbation,
Tonight I shall repeat the operation,
With long stokes, finger and thumb, finger and thumb to make me cum,
And short strokes, back of the hand, back of the hand to make me stand....
Some poelpe say that sexuaaaal intercourrrrrse is graaaaand...
But for personal satisfaction, I prefer to use my hand!"

TorqueOfTheDevil
19th Jun 2007, 13:22
Weegy,

Seem to remember the second verse went rather like this:

On Monday I rammed the f**cker up her
On Tuesday I rammed the f**cker up her
On Wednesday I confess I rammed the f**cker up her
On Thursday...you guessed it!

As southern UAS shandy-swillers, UGSAS/ELUAS/ADStAUAS (as was - RIP!) didn't feature on our radar much, but the following song about OUAS could be modified I suppose:

Don't bend down when Oxford are around,
Or you'll get a willy up your a**e
They'll keep going, they won't start slowing
Until their knob-ends are red and glowing
They'll hug you, they'll squeeze you,
Do anything to please you,
Until they find a hole that fits,
But we're true fighters,
We're not queer blighters,
Oxford are bum-ban-dits

Or the somewhat reversionary:

Oxford Oxford in the sky
Living proof that **** can fly!

TOTD

Big Sand
22nd Jun 2007, 21:09
Hi Torque,
Thanks for that contribution - expect a bomb through the door from the 'British League Of Feminists' mate :ok:

Here's one that got a good airing every Thursday night in Park Circus - The Bulldog Song. By the aircraft mentioned it's decidedly early 80's vintage but hey some of these crates are still doing their bit for Blair and country - amazing. :ugh:

Come on all you UGSAS chaps out there. Between us we could pull together a great Hymn sheet if those Thursday nights in Park Circus were anything to go by. I distinctly remember that 47 entry had some 'Rugger Buggers' that knew all the words to all the songs.

Does anyone know 'The Chicago Department Store' song - that had some superb lyrics.............can anyone out there help?

In the meantime...................The Bulldog Song...........

The Bulldog Song.

Give me my Lycoming
4 pots , 2 mags and a fan
If the prop stops
Glide at 75knots
And don’t forget to call PAN

The BULLDOG’S a steely machine
To fly one you’ve got to be keen
With things aerobatic
They’re bloody fantastic
It’s THE plane in which to be seen

So give me my …………..

Please don’t make me fly the HAWK
The last one I saw hit a yacht
And if you’ve got to wear goon suits
And G-suits with leg-loops
I’d rather get out and walk

So give me my …………..

The JAGUAR is a bit of a joke
A twin jet but really no poke
An industrial rake-off
Needs reheat for take-off
Lose a donk and you’re in for a soak

So give me my …………..

My PHANTOM’s compressor’s gone bang
The QRA bell it just rang
It flies with a Nav
And no bloody lav
And a couple of seats that go bang

So give me my …………..

Please don’t make me fly BUCCANEER
They say the Nav’s are all queers
The wings are so stressed
That there way past their best
Better stay on the ground and drink beers

So give me my …………..



The NIMROD well it’s not for me
It’s too bloody fond of the sea
It flies on one donk
And it made ‘Galletly’ honk
And it’s limit is 2.5g

So give me my …………..

The HARRIER it flies up and down
It’s always quite close to the ground
In dog fighting when viffing
It’s really quite spiffing
And the Argies are all in the pond

So give me my …………..

One day I may fly the JP
I hope it’s not the Mark 3
The 5 is much nicer
With pressurised de-icer
And ‘Eric’ the axe to chop me

So give me my …………..

Don’t give me the CFI’s HERC
They’ll leave you right there in the lurch
The open the back
And give you a pat
And you hope that your parachute works

So give me my …………..

The CANBERRA it flies ECM
Pretending to be one on them
Or the targets that they tow
Are fired on by NATO
I’d rather be me and not them

So give me my …………..


Dedicated to the UAS’s finest mount – The Scottish Aviation Bulldog T.Mk 1.
“Made in Prestwick from girders”


Big Sand (Golf 101) :E

TorqueOfTheDevil
22nd Jun 2007, 22:45
Big Sand,

Here are a few of the Chicago Department Store verses - there are many others, lost in the alcoholic haze...

Carpet she wanted, shagged she got
Nails she wanted, nailed she got
Pins she wanted, screwed she got
Lift she wanted, shafted she got
Kitkat she wanted, four fingers she got
Ruler she wanted, twelve inches she got
Hen she wanted, cock she got

or, for football fans of the mid-90s

Schmeichel she wanted, Seaman she got

Just in case Women's Lib are having palpitations, I won't even start on the 'Jamboree at the Tampax Factory' song! (nor the VD song, nor 'Would you like to sit on my face?'...)

TOTD

Melchett01
22nd Jun 2007, 23:05
Big Sand, not UGSAS, but vaguely remember many a happy hour in the UBAS bar singing the Department Store song.

A few other verses you may care to belt out at top volume (with absolutely no apologies whatsoever to the easily offended :E)

Sports bag - sports bag she wanted head she got ....
Airline ticket - Aer Lingus she wanted, cunnilingus she got ....
Cooker - cooker she wanted split ring she got ....
Front door - front door she wanted back door she got ....

My memory is playing tricks on me at the moment, so I shall post any more as I remember them.

Oh and tell the easily offended they can come out from behind the sofa now :}

Big Sand
23rd Jun 2007, 16:30
Hi Melchett,
Some great verses there mate and thanks. If you can think of any more they would be greatly appreciated. Obviously, UBAS and UGSAS have a similar high standard of mess humour :ouch:

Ran into and ex UBAS lad at my flying club - good bloke and a good pilot.

Here's another verse:

A deep drilled bore hole in Bavaria she wanted. "Mein Schaft" she got

There's lots more out there...........can anyone help?

Big Sand:E

betty swallox
26th Jul 2007, 21:46
BS.
Do you remember the fine UGSAS rendition of "Daisy"?

orgASMic
27th Jul 2007, 08:40
The little known third verse to 'I Don't Want to Join the Air Force':

On Monday I had her on the carpet,
On Tuesday I had her on the stair,
On Wednesday, I admit, I sucked upon her tit,
On Thursday she gave me a blow job,
On Friday she tie me to the bed post,
On Saturday she whipped me til I bled!
On Sunday, after supper, I gave her to me papa,
And now I'm trying to get the poor bitch back.
Cor Blimey!:ok:

Big Sand
27th Jul 2007, 20:26
OrgMC
Nice one matey. You have a great singing voice!. Are you going to the Aug 4th - night of shame?:ok:


Big Sand.

betty swallox
6th Aug 2007, 10:09
Brilliant night! My heed still hurts!
Great to see all you guys! I haven't laughed as much in years.

Big Sand
11th Aug 2007, 20:01
Betty,
Great to see you too on Saturday night! We 'spun in' around 12.30hrs but I gather there were some antics later?!

Some great blokes at the reunion and great to catch up. Well done to the OC and studes for putting on a nice evening!

Big Sand

betty swallox
11th Aug 2007, 20:59
Sand,
Aye antics all night. One to remember!
Good to see you too. May take you up on the offer of a trip!!!
bs

212man
11th Aug 2007, 22:51
Curious that UGSAS had to plagiarise all the MASUAS songs: couldn't you think of any of your own? ;)