Mess Rugby

[D SQDRN 97th IOTC]

did such a sport ever exist?
if so....is it still played?

[Climebear]

Yes

Yes :ouch:

[Gnd]

and yes again, again

[D SQDRN 97th IOTC]

do the doors get locked?
is it played in all messes?
are there different standards of conduct between messes?
are there referees?
do you play with a ball?

what about elf & safety?

[BEagle]

No
Only in Officers Messes.
n/a
No
No, usually a cabbage

Don't be so wet.

[Ann Oyd]

do the doors get locked? No why would you want too?


is it played in all messes? Have witnessed this in Pongo Messes, RN Wardrooms and RAF Messes in my travels

are there different standards of conduct between messes? Not really but that is through a bitter induced haze!

are there referees? Nope just the boring OFs in the corner saying it was worse in their day, nowhere near the same number of broken limbs per game as it was in the 60s/70s?80s.

do you play with a ball? Yes usually the smallest most irritating blunty you can find

what about elf & safety? Why tell the elfs?

[Mr C Hinecap]

If you have to ask, you never dined properly. Of course it doesn't happen any more! There would be no sniff of high spirits or red-top stories here at all. No siree, move along, nothing to see here.

Cabbages. I prefer cabbages.

[teeteringhead]

One has been known to drop into a conversation that one once played in the same front row as a notable RAF, Combined Services, Wales & Lions front-row forward.....:ok:


........and one has been known to omit the fact that it was mess rugby......;)

[effortless]

Mess rugby did indeed exist and it was this that started my trips to the MO. I was invalided eventually. :sad: Bloody good night though.:}

[serf]

QHI cse Shawbury - RN & ARMY v RAF - lots of carpet burns for the crabs!

[Rossian]

Watch out for some army regiments where they keep their spurs on! Barsteward! I still have the scar.
The Ancient Mariner

[Talking Radalt]

are there different standards of conduct between messes?

Yes, massive ones, although no one's yet made a ruler big enough to measure the differences.
A WOs & Sgt's mess has "Standards",
An O's mess has "Appropriate behaviour".
The latter is cleverly worded to be open to a little more variation and interpretation.....obviously.:rolleyes:

[Tourist]

Stopped playing after one Taranto night at Culdrose.
Thought I had the seat cushion "Ball" firmly wrapped around my fist, and was wrenching it hard to remove it from scrum.
Mildly perturbed to find that it was a Wren's large right tit.:eek:
Must have had some difficult bruises to expain to her boyfriend

[JessTheDog]

SOP - clear the ante-room of all tables and chairs (put to the side), find a ball type thing and start fighting! This is best carried out after dinner, rather than during pre-dinner drinks. I was never over-fond of it, I preferred to continue drinking and shout insults from the sidelines!

[BEagle]

Back when Scampton was a proper V-bomber station, I recall a rather good game of Mess Rugby.

The Stn Cdr was pi$$ed enough to want to join in. "Better be careful, chaps, last time I did this I broke my ankle" were his Famous Last Words....

The cabbage was thrown into the midst of the assembled throng and the usual chaos ensued. Not many minutes passed before there was an anguished yelp of "Bugger - I think I've done it again!" from the Stn Cdr.

A doctor was found, sobered up and attempts were made to confirm the injury. Which was soon confirmed....

However, the most pi$$ed off Teddy was OC Ops Wg. For it was the AOC's parade a few days later.... Nevertheless, he managed to learn the relevant words of command in time and the parade went off without a hitch, watched by the beaming Stn Cdr in best blue perched on his very own wheelchair complete with pennant!

[iss]

Got to admire the courage of the lad asking the question, but has it really got to the stage where it is an urban myth?

Next they'll be saying Cannons don't exist either:ok:

[BEagle]

Once saw the letter written by a chum to the PMC after a bit of horseplay with the red boys:

"Sir,

I have the honour to report that a no-notice functional check performed on First Aid Fire Appliance (Stored Pressure Water) ref. nnnnnnn in the Officers' Mess ante room proved entirely satisfactory.

However, I shall in future ensure that such checks are more properly carried out by those normally appointed for the task and are conducted in the designated testing area.

I have the honour (etc)"

No doubt nowadays such things would require a full evacuation of the Mess as the mandatory health and safety :rolleyes: level of fire fighting equipment would have been reduced without approval.......:mad:

[Pontius Navigator]

Not exactly Mess Rugger but have a look at the Quantas letter here:

http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=254764&highlight=qantas+humour

[tu chan go]

When I was holding at Laarbruch at the end of the 70s (see,we had to hold as well!), I went to Rheindhalen for the results of the Salmond Trophy competition. This was a flying comp for all the fast jet sqns in RAFG (which 16 Sqn had won by some careful engineering work (which is another story)) and nearly every fast jet pilot, navigator, engineer and hangers on gathered in the Officers Mess to hear the results. The Mess staff had already drained the fish pond outside in preparation for our arrival in case we decided to swim in it. Then followed the biggest mess rugby game I have ever seen (in 27 years in the RAF!). Over 150 mates using a seat cushion for a ball. One big rolling ball of humanity with at least 10 different sides competing (all the fast jet sqns had their own team). No-one knows who won but there were no breakages (of bones that is, plenty of bits missing from walls etc). The worst injury was to a Buccaneer navigator who fell over in the bus on the way back to Laarbruch and broke his arm.

Great days!

[AlJH]

Was once played at BRNC in the senior gun room. Then a certain 2 1/2 went out the window and cracked his nut, and it's now banned. So now there's tug of war with a broom handle and a few others.

[mstjbrown]

Isn't it about time that someone fortunate enough to attend recorded details of that remarkable occasion. I was in MEAF at the time but the stories were around the world by the following day. Perhaps Beags or Pontius Nav can shed some light

[BEagle]

It was before my time......

But it has already been extensively chronicled on PPRuNe - see http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=48124

Enjoy!

[brickhistory]

It was before my time......



Was time even measured pre-BEagleolithic? :E










(cowboy hat, coat, door.......)

[Double Zero]

Though a mere civvy mesewf,

I heard from a certain Sqn Ldr about 'Jokers' on some fast jet squadrons - one was allowed to say, once during a tour, " sorry boss I'm too hung over to fly " - ie beyond the usual 100% oxygen remedy.

At the end of a tour, there was a party to use up unused Jokers.

I doubt this still goes on, or at least as overtly.

On a vaguely similar vein, remember reading about Tangmere during the war - guys were using a medicine ball in the gymn.

The padre came in, and ' joining in the fun ' mistook it for a football & gave it a mighty kick...The crack of his ankle was very audible, almost as much as the stream of filthy language which made the others wince !

[Pontius Navigator]

No 2 Mess, South Cerney.

The room was lined with Lloyd Loom chairs. A cushion was used as a ball and a scrum formed.

Some time later, no movement having taken place, a large Kiwi ran the length of the room, dived in the scrum, and emerged with the ball.

I have two memories of there after.

1. I have no recall.

2. The cushion was :mad:d

The staff were all incredibly old, about 30 I guess :)

[Robert Cooper]

Air defence of Cyprus Exercise (Ranular), early 70's. Tented JOC at Paramali. 111 Sqn (Lightnings) providing air defence from Akrotiri and Vulcans performing in attack role. Bloodhound squadron and Rock Ape AA guys in attendance. Rugby game breaks out in Officer's Mess marquee during dining in night for exercise participants. Red dust in the air and visibility acoss the mess tent zero. tent comes down. two aircrew broken collar bones, one broken ankle, one dislocated elbow. Landrover to station sick quarters at Episkopi with casualties ends up in the Episkopi Officers Mess foyer.

Sharing a tent with ZZ, Polish BoB Hurricane pilot with No 1 ACC, who smokes in bed and burnt our tent down. Spent rest of the night sleeping on a table in the store tent.

As wines officer (secondary duty) I get the flack for some reason!? Boss told me that's what junior officers are for :(

God, I wish was still in!!!

Bob C

[RS15]

recently had to visit doc with torn ankle and knee ligaments, following:

tug of war - broke broom stick, no replacements!!
mess rugby - iceberg lettuce just not as good as a cabbage, didn't survive
1st kick! cushion next.
0530 trip to local beach in No5s for swim - :mad: colddddd..

[mstjbrown]

Beagle
Thank you for the reference. It ties in very accurately with the reports several attenders gave me when I joined 1 Gp in 1969.

A fringe item from the background as to why the Vulcan was attempting to land at Heathrow rather than diverting to a more suitable alternative was said to be that a major press briefing and photo op was lined up at LHR. Sadly sounds very likely.

[Jaguar Pilot]

Best played, a la 60's, with miniature rugby posts erected at ech end of the ante room. Since the rules were that said posts must not be more than three feet from the walls, running touchdowns were :mad: nigh on lethal.

This left the only option as dropkicks, which really is best played with cabbages, but can be V expensive if there is a valuable painting hung behind the posts.

Required: posts + officer IC cabbages.

JP

[Ken Scott]

Played some awesome games when I was a stude on a UAS in the 80s - one annual dinner the Guest of Honour, CinC STC I recall, joined in - somehow he broke his ankle! He came back the next year but said his wife wouldn't let him play so he acted as the 'referee' instead- he started one game declaring that one of the smaller studes was the 'ball', the poor chap was nearly torn apart but no one was able to 'score' using him. Happy days.

[Inspector Dreyfuss]

I understand that a certain ex-Lightning pilot was nicknamed 'Doof' for the rest of his career after a game of mess rugby during flying trg. I do know the chap concerned but apologise for re-telling his story....Apparently, 'Doof' was the noise that his fist made when it connected with the nose of a very senior officer during a game played in the Valley Mess. Young Doof had not realised who owned the nose, or indeed how senior the nose's owner was, and he was merely intent on earning retribution against an over-zealous opponent. The senior officer shrugged it off under the heading of, 'There but for the grace of God go I'.

[snapper41]

During one particualrly boisterous game of Mess rugby, I was fallen upon by the largest Mess member present; through the haze of alcohol that was affecting my brain, I was dimly aware of 'something' giving way in my chest. Next afternoon, the pain in my chest being greater than that in my head, I managed to drive myself one-handed (the other arm pressed to my chest) to Wroughton (remember RAF hospitals?). Two cracked ribs were diagnosed by a rather senior RAF doctor who asked how I did it; 'errrrr Mess rugby Sir' I stammered. 'Serves you bloody well right then' was the reply. Drove back to the stn again (one handed), with the worst moment coming when I sneezed; imagine the pain and me trying to control the car...

[wobble2plank]

Any ex-Navy/Navy remember the rather dodgy practice of 'scuttle runs'?

Wonder if they're banned now as well?

Sad to see the old fun and games disappearing into folk lore :{

Played mess rugby once and ended trashing my mess gear, best £500 spent :ouch:

[212man]

"....courage of the lad asking the question..."

Well I was on 105 IOTC, and I'm 40, so I'd be surprised if he's a lad!

[Inspector Dreyfuss]

I believe the numbering of the courses changed a few years ago....

[mstjbrown]

Perhaps one of the most spectacular mess game ever was played at Honington in the early 60's. It was based on the RN Royal Tattoo field gun race in which teams scrambled over obstacles with sections of a field gun which they assembled at the far end and fired.

For our version we used single metal beds which divided into three sections and the obstacles were piles of mess furniture. Teams raced outbound with the sections of bed, reassembled them at the far end and then (this was the tricky bit) came back over the obstacles with one of the team being carried on the bed.

It was better than the jousts on bicycles along the long mess corridor using brooms for lances.

[doubledolphins]

"Scuttle runs" were a popular pass time for YOs in PRESIDENT (RNR) until they moved ashore a few years ago.Don't think they ever lost any one though the Thames does flow rather quickly. Only thing like it now is climbing from one end of the main bar at Whaley to the other without touching the ground. Tame by comparison. Bit like comparing Brickwoods with the real thing.

[air pig]

Just before I attended a SERE course in 1982, it was rumoured that a student on the FTS at Sleaford Technical College, was involved in an impromptu game in the crew room. Dived for a ball, but the only thing he caught was the rather heavy table in the crew room, unfortunately trying to bite it in two, resulting in table 1 student 0. The only thing he won was a fractured jaw, the MO and a quick medevac to Halton hospital for the surgeons to play with him. I did hear that the teeth marks were still in the table top for a long time afterwards.

:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}

[Zoom]

Broke my arming scoring with a cushion at Binbrook in 1970 (the posts were actually against the wall) and needed an op at good old Nocton Hall to remove the bits. It stills gives me problems, so never believe a doc who says, 'You'll be right as rain in 6 months.'

[WhiteOvies]

Possibly the messiest mess rugby I have seen was at HMS Flying Fox when Bristol URNU used a frozen chicken as a ball. Afterwards looked like Apocalypse Now and several uniforms were ruined. Edwina Curry would have had a fit:}

Have been involved in Wardroom serving hatch runs, possibly less dangerous that scuttle runs, and quite fun until a portly SD officer became wedged as he dived headlong for the hatch. Definately a case of round peg in a square hole!

[deltahotel]

airpig. it was back end of 81. the game was carrier deck landings - there will be a thread on that somewhere. the stude - SM - had those lovely slippy slidy mess shoe soles, missed the launch and embedded jaw/teeth into the table resulting in tracheotomy, rebuilt jaw and recourse onto my BFT!!

DH

[doubledolphins]

A chicken gets used as a ball at my rugby club dinner. I confirm it makes a terible mess. Last event was in May. Does that count? (Thought not.)

My Mess usually just confines itself to broomstick tug of war, the shell case game, (does it have a proper name?) and deck landings. The table tops have been badly damaged on many an occiasion. Of course when we get new members we have burberry submarines and lancaster bombers. No one gets hurt in those only wet. Oh yes we did make a young lady throw when she touched Nelson's eye, that was fun!:ok:

[Inspector Dreyfuss]

Nelson's eye? New one on me - please enlighten us.

[BEagle]

"A chicken gets used as a ball at my rugby club dinner. I confirm it makes a terible mess. Last event was in May. Does that count? (Thought not.)"

Presumably the 'game' stops when the chook snuffs it?

[doubledolphins]

Nelson's eye? Sorry can't give the game away. Lets just say its the "feel" version of the tomato ketchup sachet "visual "joke in Hot Fuzz.