Whats Next do you Think??

[The Swinging Monkey]

Hi everyone,
Following on from the latest little fiasco from the lunatrics that run the asylum more commonly known as the Royal Air Farce (see I'm lovin it) does anyone care to comment on what the next hair-brained, money-wasting idea these idiots who run this outfit might come up with??

Past ones include (thanks BEagle):
1. The oil paintings acquired for the MoD box.
2. The comfy chairs acquired for same.
3. The plasma screen TVs acquired for same.
4. The 'leisure clothing' range.
5. Spirit of Adventure aircraftless air shows. Neither of which are being held at RAF aerodromes.......

Looking forward to hearing 'em............................
TSM

[Fluffy Bunny]

Hmmm let me think....

How about issuing all the troops nice blue rucksacs with the corporate logo on so we all look smart on the way into work.

.... oooh another idea,
let's make some really gucci badges to sew on our greens that tell everyone that we're RAF and just to keep pace with the 'real' green jobs get an RAF TRF and DZ flashes and unit badges for the sleeves, making "combat clothing" look like a cub scout uniform

.
.
.

Oh bugger... it's already been done. :D :ugh:

[wz662]

Funnily enough the 'Spirit of Misadvanture' event to be held at Dalton Barracks (the late RAF Abingdon) will result in the grounding of the resident RAF unit - OK its just an Air Cadet Gliding Squadron.

BTW just when are these event going to be publicised? Last year the publicity hit the streets AFTER the event had been cancelled.

[Pontius Navigator]

Black umbrella, base ball cap, cheap plastic sac, dinky little badge logo in black on silver . . .
Clearly money to spare.

[Mr C Hinecap]

We could have some numbered badges as well - that say which Expeditionary Air Wing we belong to - or sommat like that. That would be good. We could then try and make a half-assed idea work using some fresh air and nonsense. Then we'd have somethng to re-brand and re-name - seeing as I can't think of what we could call Air Command' next :\

[Cumbrian Fell]

Mr C-H
As you know I am building a rather large sand-castle at the moment and I refuse to wear the guards division thingy on my right (or is it left?) sleeve. Will it affect my chances of promotion (oh, and how I laugh at the poor curs with their Pack numbers below their Guards Division badge...more badges than my son's cub uniform)?
CF

[Pontius Navigator]

Mr C Hindcap,

What I can't get my head around with the EAWs is they don't deploy as EAWs.

At home there is one EAW OOA there is another. The people manning the OOA EAW may be from a different EAW than the main force one, for instance from Cranwell or Coningsby when the OOA EAW is from Cottesmore? Crazy.

It might work OOA but unless an entire EAW deploys, what is the point?

[The Helpful Stacker]

How about re-naming sections on each RAF station so that they don't tally up with sections on other units, ie: Supply at Odious = Resource Management Squadron whereas supply somewhere else might be Logistics Support Squadron or something? Initiate a random name changing program or just stick to the now common 'new boss = new name' formula.

Not only will this keep paint shop busy making new signs but it'll also give us lots of practice phoning baffled phone operators with requests for telephone numbers.

Bring back the Binbrook model, all is forgiven...:ugh:

[Pontius Navigator]

I rather liked the pre-Binbrook model.

Ops Wg is all very well but it distracts from the real business of AIR COMD which is FLY.

So rename Ops Wg as Flying Wing.

Now Engineering Wing is a misnomer. They don't engineer anything, why, they are even manned by technicians. So rename them Technical Wing.

Now Technical Wing, which has no actual core function - they don't fly - should be wholly subordinate to Flying Wg so they only need a Station Technical Officer of sqn ldr rank.

With the reduction in supporting wg cdrs do we really need a full blown Admin Wg? Evidently not as it is now Base Support Wing. Well we could make OC BSW a gp capt on the USAF model or revert to the Station Admin Officer, another sqn ldr.

While we are getting rid of wg cdrs how about giving sqn ldrs some real responsibility. Flt ls too. In fact flt lts sometime get to control 4-ships, and even 8-ships if we got that many aircraft airborne, so call them flt cdrs and let the rest be simple fliers.

A fg off is really what life is all about.

What about pay? Simple, PAS pay from age 25 and funded from all those redundant penguin wg cdrs.

[DummyRun]

TSW,

More Typhoon to shoot down the swarms of MiG's coming over the East German border?!!!!

Load Movng........

[wokkameister]

How about we reduce the force to breaking point, then lean it. That way we can reduce all the 'fat'.
Then in the Sgt's Mess, we can remove the jugs of water from the table (takes a mess staff member several paces to refill it) and have serviettes instead of folded napkins(that saves another ten minutes a decade).
We can have regular leaning events where we completely bugger the inner workings of the station up, to save fifty pence over the next ten financial years.
Or, having run the MQ estates into the ground, so that they are now worse than prisons/notorious council estates, we could float the idea of raising the rent to reflect the civilian sector.
Or, we could introduce so many eyecatching ass covering initiatives that the average SAC doesn't know whether he/she is coming or going.
Or, we could leave the hard working personnel to get on with the job we pay them to do, and in most cases they are bloody good at.

Rant over.

[engoal]

I know - why don't we divert a few bob to getting a spangly new website called Airspace - we could even put it at https://airspace.raf.mod.uk/airspaceLogon/. That should be good for bucking up the troops, don't you think?:hmm:

[Pontius Navigator]

Well that didn't take long not to work!

[SirToppamHat]

Tried to register out of interest but ...
Please choose a memorable word which must be 12 characters long and contain at least one number.


Does anyone know any 12-letter words that include at least one number?

wa5teofspace ?
utterbo1ocks ?
mindbo99l1ng ?

:ugh:

Must take loyalty pill ...

STH

[BootFlap]

Well personally I think there is scope for the whole EAW concept and numbering to work! This may be unpopular I know, but if we also look back in history and add a little 'Service ethos' into the mix we could have some exceptional EAW numberplates; how about:
No 1 (Flying) Sqn EAW.
No 8 (B@ggered) Sqn EAW. (Only b@ggered becuase I know how hard you boys have been working!).
No 617 Sqn EAW.
Tactical Communications EA Wing.
etc.
Obviously if some non-committed and ill-informed individual were to abbreviate these to:
1(F) Sqn
8(B) Sqn
617 Sqn
TCW
etc.
and drop the EAW because, let's face it, it's implicit, I for one would be extremely upset and would have to set my poor, grounded (and mad, check out the physcologically challenged thread!) JPs to work writing a stern rebuff (only using accepted DW conventions of course) in order to help them progress in the future. I shall of course have to 'fill my boots' in order for the secondary duties (you know, that flying and raining death and destruction on all who oppose us) to be fulfilled.
(Taking a breath, and a rather large swig of dubious 'vino rosso')
In addition to the EAW malarchy, how about a vote of confidence for the Typhoons? As they aren't 'expeditionary' yet, how about letting them join in by renaming CGY as the 1st Fighter Air Group, LEE as 2 FAG and LEU as 3 FAG?
Anyone, Bueller, anyone?

[side salad]

How about undervalue everyone, p*ss them off, make their lives hell, devalue the service they were once proud of, shaft them at every chance, send them to sandy places until their wives leave them, give them JPA to really p*ss them off, remove resources and expect the same job to be done, and then wonder why they bugger off.

1 experienced SNCO is worth 10 graduates unless you are an accountant in the MOD.

[Mr C Hinecap]

The only reason the deployed EAWs work is they were in place when EAWs were 'branded'. As for the rest of the 'concept' - I can only sit in excited anticipation and await more disjointed bolleaux from brighter, higher-paid help than I. I really can't see how this turd can be polished given the restrictions.

Mr Fell - I think you were born with your limitations to further advancement - or at least developed them fairly early on :E

[Winch-control]

Side salad,
I agree with you, but what if the snco is a graduate!!! ps I'm not!

[Pontius Navigator]

We had a very convincing presentation by a previous force commander of the Khandahar EAW. I can buy in to that, almost.

As there is only one EAW in that theatre and you wear 'light blue' (well something light blue) if you are not badged EAW 912 (or whatever) you are a red tabbed klingon just there for the medal.

If, by chance, the Coningsby Wing was deployed, lock stock and barrel, all sqns, cooks, bottle washers etc, then the concept holds up.

As only part of one sqn will deploy and the existing base personnel will probably roulement in turn sometime later returning to random UK base units, it is b*llux to consider Coningsby as expeditionary, except in deepest Lincolnshire.

When we actually deployed EAWs to the same theatre we probably had more EAWs then than sqns now.

Did the Banff Wing have an EAW number? Probably not, but they operated more as a wg than as individual sqns. In much the same way as the Scampton Wing or the Waddington Wing did through out the cold war.

As I said, I can almost buy it, but those original wings were indeed expeditionary and mobile and more than one in the same area.

[Gainesy]

If there were a nice big shiny "RESTORE" button what reset date would you pick? I reckon 1970 would be a good start.

[Pontius Navigator]

Sorry, unable to restore to that date, no restore point available. Pick new date.

[BEagle]

1956 - and arraange for Duncan Sandys to have a little accident?

Otherwise, 1970 just after the Military Salary scheme first came in!

[JTIDS]

"Life on Mars" for the RAF...

"My Name is Flt Lt Bloggs, I was in car accident, I woke up in 1960, and there is still a Far East Air Force..."

[1.3VStall]

It has to be the early 1970s as the restore point. 2ATAF, NEAF, AFME and FEAF. Over 100,000 blue suiters, shedloads of aircraft, RAF stations all over the place and real roles to perform. Oh, and no Tony B Liar et al. Ahhh....those really were the days!

[SaddamsLoveChild]

The new RAF Stable belt is what is really enthralling me and invigorates me to stay...........my arse.:mad:

Another out of touch senior officer induced clothing change and whats worse is the V neck pully is being reviewed. Where do these moneywasting nutters think we can afford it from. I want a house that doesnt go mouldy in winter, I want a uniform that is light blue, functional and fits, I want less fat unfit people around me, I want enough rounds for my weapon, kit that is fit for purpose and I want to be paid accurately and on time. Is it too much to ask?

Shove your stable belt, the old one is fine.:=