Smeagelisms

[checklist69]

Here you are, Smeags.

Your own thread!

:D

'69

[Smeagel]

:eek: But I've nothing to moan about at the moment! No new conspiracy theories. No doom, gloom or the demise of our favourite fractional. Well, more than usual.:E

I'm speechless:oh:

I know, let's sing a hymn. Alllllllllltogether now, sway in time to the music We shall overcooooooome, we shall overcoooooooome..........

I did hear this story though and I SWEAR it's true because I got it from a guy who was fired five years ago and his ex-girlfriend overheard it from some non-NJE crew talking at London City and they had heard it from the crew bus drivers' brother in Le Bourget while he was on holiday in Torremelinos. To make up for their crew shortage NJE are cloning pilots. Lisbon reckon there'll be no shortage of sperm donors as they (office staff) are always being told by their management that pilots are all w@nkers anyway:p

I suppose they could always approach their infamous flight attendant. The one who shagged a pilot in the terminal toilets while awaiting their bags. "Hey luv! Spit in here would you?":O

[merlinxx]

What about the bloke who was skulking in his clapped out 125-600 in DNKN after the elections, though he knew everything, sod the guy who shafted the totty, speak to the honey cart man, he knows everything! He'd been to LIS, couldn't get in the front door!. 69, that's not a very nice thing to gift!!!

[G-SPOTs Lost]

Smeagel - thats your best ever post

[merlinxx]

Give me some fun folks, suns gone in and the C is building. C that's cloud for 69 & Smeag, thought y'all had those for breakfast!

[winkle]

well i didnt get a phone call today asking me if i would come back.
i will have to read the fun on here instead.
I suppose writting on here is not how to get your old job back.
:ugh:

[Smeagel]

well i didnt get a phone call today asking me if i would come back. You didn't?! I'm shocked.:eek: Would you like me to have a word on your behalf? The bug I have in Randle's office is two-way so I could start sending him subliminal messages. "Giiiiiive Wiiiiiinkle his job baaaaack, giiiiiive it baaaaaack with mooore moneyyyyyyyyyyyy. WooooOOOOooooOOooooooo................." ;)



Smeagel - thats your best ever post
The irony is that parts of it were true.:E

The flight attendant is very accomodating but also somewhat venomous. The upside is she's a Martini girl (any time, any place, anywhere). The tale about her and an FO in the terminal toilet is legit.

The downside is she's partial to filing reports to Lisbon on what she perceives as inappropriate behaviour. 'Inappropriate' usually translates into 'spurning her advances'. She doesn't get punished as there's nothing Lisbon loves more than a snitch.

:ugh: :ugh: :ugh: Stop it Smeagel, stop it!

Sorry, old habits die hard;)


On a lighter note, what do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboooom!!!!:O

[Lever]

As an aside, Smeagel isn't a pilot.

Too many posts from Smeagel - clearly never on tour.
Too well connected, so must be based in Lisbon.
His English is that of a first language speaker.

I'm guessing that he is an embittered Product Delivery Manager.
A Walter-Mitty type character who wishes he flew but is chained to a small desk.


Lever

[Smeagel]

There's an echo in here......in here.....in here......

C'mon Lever, join in the fun. Here, I'll give you a starter. Bit of an 'in' joke for NJE crew, you have to know what the Ops Director looks like to get the joke but think Papa Smurf and you're on the right track.

NJE Ops Director was in his car at the traffic lights when another car runs into him. Surveying the damage he says to the guilty driver "I'm not happy". "Oh really" asked the driver "Which of the seven are you then?":O

I thank you.:D

[Lever]

It just seems a little odd that you spend 2 years pretending to be something that you are not.

The network is for Professional Pilots.
There is an area called Spectators Balcony (Spotters Corner); perhaps you might be better off there?


Just something to think about Smeagel.

The guy that puts the fuel into Fernando Alonso's car is the fueller, not the driver.
He is an important member of the team, but he doesn't drive.

He gets to wear a similar uniform and bask in the reflected glory of the team but he is not the driver.

He probably doesn't spend all of his spare time pretending to be a driver either.

He looks after the fuel.


Lever.

[Smeagel]

Lever. I'm sure that deep down you think you're right but..................you're not.

Or are you? Who knows? This is after all the intrawebnet where anyone can claim to be what they want.

Me? I'm a test pilot. I throw paper aeroplanes off the top floor of the office building in Lisbon. And what makes you think I've been here two years? PPRuNe has been going much longer than that. If you think you can provoke me into giving you clues as to my identity you're wasting your time.

Now I'm off down to the canteen for lunch.

Or am I...................?

[CL300]

As an aside, Smeagel isn't a pilot.

Too many posts from Smeagel - clearly never on tour.
Too well connected, so must be based in Lisbon.
His English is that of a first language speaker.

I'm guessing that he is an embittered Product Delivery Manager.
A Walter-Mitty type character who wishes he flew but is chained to a small desk.


Lever



Of course he is a pilot, we even flew together... It is like you would say that Mike Jenvey is not a pilot because he is posting too much, too many...But today Smeagel is Off... Like me ! well I'm on vacation, but still posting... how depressing ! :) :ok:

[Lever]

No he isn't.

Lever

[Smeagel]

Of course he is a pilot, we even flew together... It is like you would say that Mike Jenvey is not a pilot because he is posting too much, too many...But today Smeagel is Off... Like me ! well I'm on vacation, but still posting... how depressing !
Was I THAT bad? ;)


Hey Lever!! It's not me you should be accusing of being an office bod, it's CL300. No NJE pilot would write "I'm on vacation...", their system doesn't allow it:(

Bon vacance CL, how's the weather there? Or should that be 'vacances heureuses'? As you know Brits never learn other languages, they just SHOUT LOUDER IN ENGLISH!!!


By the way Lever. Checklist 69 very kindly gave me this thread to play with. If you're not going to play nicely go and use the other NJR threads would you? You're creating bad karma man :hmm:

[winkle]

there is so much fun going on i am tempted to apply for me old job back.
and i wuz a pilot.
does the new office have a canteen. i was there in the shopping mall days.
;)

[winkle]

is mike jenvey still with nje?

[Smeagel]

Sadly yes. To both questions.

Tasteless, flaccid, uninspiring and unimaginative. The food in the canteen is nothing flash either:p