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View Full Version : How does one qualify as a Grumpy Old Man or Woman?


Bus429
28th Dec 2006, 14:37
By ranting at stupid threads?
By ranting at stupid news stories?
By ranting at politicians/journalists/pilots?
By ranting at the over-use of words like "awesome", "literally" or "legend"?
Is one old if one sighs after the first gulp of tea/coffee/beer? (It would be a bit infra-dig to sigh after the first gulp of wine).
Do I need to get out more?:O

matelot
28th Dec 2006, 14:40
How does one qualify as a Grumpy Old Man or Woman?

It's an age thing, from which the rest flows. :p

Loki
28th Dec 2006, 16:35
Not just age, a little training is required. In olden days people would write to the Times and sign their letters with things such as "disgusted of Herne Hill" or similar. Nowadays,a few rants on Jet Blast will suffice.

Of course, the topic helps. Nothing speeds the progress towards grumpy old manness than the provocative and gormless posting of some tw*t justifying the foreign policy of a certain superpower for example.

G-CPTN
28th Dec 2006, 17:00
Not just age, a little training is required. Nowadays,a few rants on Jet Blast will suffice.

Nothing speeds the progress towards grumpy old manness than the provocative and gormless posting of some tw*t justifying the foreign policy of a certain superpower for example.

Or the misuse of an apostrophe . . .

matelot
28th Dec 2006, 17:03
Or the misuse of an apostrophe . . .
Standards, old chap. Standards.

ORAC
28th Dec 2006, 17:17
I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired.

I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.........

aviosaurus
28th Dec 2006, 17:33
Which song was it that contained the line "I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired" ?:confused:

tony draper
28th Dec 2006, 17:41
When one is young and has a head like a bucket of shite one tends to regard the world and all that in there is through rose tinted glasses,when one has aquired a few decades the scales fall from one's eyes and one regards the world as it is, and aquires suitable jaundiced peepers.
:rolleyes:
Grumpiness is simply the outward sign of the aquiring of wisdom.

Foss
28th Dec 2006, 18:11
It seem to be pretty easy if you're female. You're born, you get older, and turn into a grumpy old women, at around the 25-year-old mark.
'Paint the shed'
'Hoover the carpet'
'Cut the grass'
'Clean the car'
'Change that lightbulb'
'Get off your bum'
'Don't wear those jeans, they're old'

:{ :{ :{
It's genetic.
Fos digging a foxhole

RiverCity
28th Dec 2006, 18:52
On the cruise ship message boards, we can tell the grumpy types:

They are being waited on hand & foot, yet they complain about the cabin and dining room stewards.

The food is excellent, but they find ways to complain about it.

The captain avoids a port because they have to avoid a hurricane there and you'd think it was a plot from hq to save money.

Something goes wrong on the cruise and they want (a) a free cruise or (b) a 50% off coupon for their next cruise.

Wipeout
28th Dec 2006, 20:22
Which song was it that contained the line "I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired" ?:confused:

Ozzy Osbourne, 'I Just Want You'. And a splendid little ditty it is to!


Incidentally, can young people not be grumpy?

G-CPTN
28th Dec 2006, 20:39
Incidentally, can young people not be grumpy?
I was at school with an angry young man. Lord knows what used to upset him but he was the original Mr Grumpy, and, of course 'we' used to wind him up just to see him lose it. He wore a permanent scowl and I don't believe I EVER saw him smile. Of course we never knew his background or his home circumstances.

Bet he got a degree and PhD in grumpiness.

allan907
28th Dec 2006, 21:25
Why the **** have we got a stupid and boring thread like this. Surely this subject has been done to death with endless "Grumpy" programmes on TV followed by endless repeats. I mean, what a waste of bandwidth (whatever that might be); surely people have got better things to do with their time.

Foss
28th Dec 2006, 21:55
ah, Allan, you've replied to this stupid (in your opinion) thread.
What do you have to to with your time if you answer it.
Fos

Standard Noise
28th Dec 2006, 22:57
Well, it appears that I am a grumpy old man as classified by Mrs Noise and Noisy jnr. They got me 'Grumpy Old Men - The Official Handbook' for christmas, and I can identify with everything I've read so far (which is about halfway through).
My sister keeps telling me I'm turning into the late Noisy snr and by god he was a grumpy old [email protected]!

Duchess_Driver
28th Dec 2006, 23:12
Ah, Standard....Old Ma Duchess made the same noises about self and Duchess Snr over the festive (ha??!?!) holidays!

Why is that all kids pressies these days beep? Not one quiet present in amongst the whole pile. Police Cars with sirens, talking books, computaz, nintendo's, even Monopoly beeps at you now. And it isn't £200 for passing go nowadays, it's £2M. TP now have a DVD version.

All I wanted to do was read me buek. Little bastards, the lot of them!

Howard Hughes
28th Dec 2006, 23:20
Surely one truly becomes a Grumpy Old Man/Woman (delete as applicable), when one starts to correct the spelling and grammar of other Pruners (or is that Pruner's)....:E

Standard Noise
29th Dec 2006, 00:21
'How does one qualify as a grumpy old man or woman?'
According to Bob Geldof, 'if you aren't grumpy, it means that you are content with the world around you, and who the f*ck in their right mind would be that?'

Arm out the window
29th Dec 2006, 00:46
That's just a cop-out from old Bob to give him an excuse to be grumpy!
Being dissatisfied with the state of the world doesn't give everyone a licence to go around grumbling and ranting - look at the Dalai Lama, or Mother Teresa - no bitching, just going around doing good things.

A small off-track PS: That reminds me of a good insult I heard somewhere -
'He's so annoying that Mother Teresa told him to get f***ed!'

Standard Noise
29th Dec 2006, 00:56
That's just a cop-out from old Bob to give him an excuse to be grumpy!
Being dissatisfied with the state of the world doesn't give everyone a licence to go around grumbling and ranting - look at the Dalai Lama, or Mother Teresa - no bitching, just going around doing good things.

But that's the point, you are a grumpy old man because you are dissatisfied with the world around you.

Arm out the window
29th Dec 2006, 01:01
Perhaps not; it might just make you an old man or woman with a positive attitude determined to change things for the better.

Standard Noise
29th Dec 2006, 01:05
You want to try living up here mush, you'd soon change your mind!

Pinky the pilot
29th Dec 2006, 01:24
When one is young and has a head like a bucket of shite one tends to regard the world and all that in there is through rose tinted glasses,when one has aquired a few decades the scales fall from one's eyes and one regards the world as it is, and aquires suitable jaundiced peepers.

Grumpiness is simply the outward sign of the aquiring of wisdom.




Reckon you got it about right there Tony.:ok:

Arm out the window
29th Dec 2006, 01:30
SN, may I just add that I'm not suggesting I'm not grumpy meself - should see me some days, I'll crack the sh**s at the drop of a hat!

Binoculars
29th Dec 2006, 01:59
Who the fcuk wants to know? You got a pharking problem, Bus? :mad: :mad:

galaxy flyer
29th Dec 2006, 02:37
To paraphrase Louis Armstrong, "If you gotta ask, you ain't never gonna be one."

GF

allan907
29th Dec 2006, 05:15
Foss, oh Foss! You have severely disappointed me. You display a fine sense of humour, have an impish Irish wit and are articulate. Surely you, above all others, might have seen that the post was ironic (and, I thought, quite witty) given the wording of the original post?

By ranting at stupid threads?

:ugh:

Yours,
Grumpy of Toodyay!

Oceanz
29th Dec 2006, 06:05
Doesn't one have to be a member of the Old Farts Club first? If so, at what age can one join?

Bus429
29th Dec 2006, 07:01
For Christmas 2005, I received a game called "Midlife Crisis".(Should that be Mid-Life Crisis?)

Foss
29th Dec 2006, 10:08
Allan
I was taking the p!ss back mate. ;)
Didn't really come across too well. Must be getting senile.
I'm grumpy now. I'm away to bowls, on my own, in my whites, in the gale.
Fos

allan907
29th Dec 2006, 10:12
Touché. Be careful with the wind up yer trouser leg:E

RiverCity
29th Dec 2006, 15:10
Look at the Dalai Lama, or Mother Teresa - no bitching. Maybe it's because they're hooking up. :oh: (I didn't say that.) (Besides, it's a joke.)

Shaggy Sheep Driver
29th Dec 2006, 15:46
I don't think women do 'grumpy'. Whinging, yes. Nagging certainly. But 'grumpy'? Nah! 'Grumpy' is a bloke thing.
Just because the ever so PC Beeb felt obliged to follow 'Grumpy Old Men' with the female equaivalent of that program doesn't make it right. Quite the reverse, actually.

SSD (deffo a GOM). :E

Dick N. Cider
29th Dec 2006, 16:01
Is it just me or does Mother Theresa seem not quite so grumpy of late? Not in the news much either...

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Dec 2006, 18:44
Bit whiffy, though...:}