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Foss
28th Dec 2006, 15:34
I was out hitting the sales this morning.
Hate shopping, so after a couple of hours, went to get a pint and a cheese toastie and read the Times.
Then there's this ach ach aaach sound, then it goes ach...... ach.... ac
The guy at a table behind me is choking, a serious I can't breath choke.
He's about 18 stone and his petite wife is patting him on the back. Patting. 'Can someone help me, he can't breath', all that.
Then the achs stop. So air's going to be a bit of a problem.

There's a barman standing behind the guy just looking at him, this takes about 30 secs. So I go over and do the Heimlich thing, and he's a big lad, something pops out of his mouth. 'You alright, you better now.' He just goes Hmm.
Then he carries on eating, he didn't even look round. Wife says nothing and starts eating again.
I go back to my toastie. There's some horrible chewed up something on my jeans, yuck.
Bar manager comes over and says well done, lunch is on us, have another pint, thanks.
The choker and his wife finish their lunch and walk past me, not a word, nothing. Not even a pat on the shoulder. I'm not expecting fireworks over the harbour but even a 'cheers' would have been ok.
Sod him.
Fos

frostbite
28th Dec 2006, 15:37
Bet you wish you'd stuck it back down his throat! (or somewhere else)

h73kr
28th Dec 2006, 15:37
...you've clearly interfered with the natural selection process there, it's your own fault.:p

Seriously, that's poor. A bit like the old holding the door open for someone and getting zilch back, if only you could rewind a few seconds and slam the bast#ard! How hard can it be ....'thank you'. :ugh:

matelot
28th Dec 2006, 15:49
@ Foss - your post title is It's my pleasure. That's how it should be.

You did what you had to do without seeking reward. If you don't look for thanks, you won't be disappointed.

Sadly, ignorant fat [email protected] like that sum up so much of what's wrong with society today. I'd have rammed the gobbit back down his fat throat then rogered him with the wrong end of a ragman's trumpet.

BlueDiamond
28th Dec 2006, 15:50
That's completely surreal!! To be choking to death, rescued by someone taking appropriate action then carry on as if nothing happened?? That's utterly bizarre.

matelot
28th Dec 2006, 15:55
That's completely surreal!! To be choking to death, rescued by someone taking appropriate action then carry on as if nothing happened?? That's utterly bizarre.

Had it been the States, Foss may have been sued for assaulting him...

matt_hooks
28th Dec 2006, 16:00
Should have followed him and given him a good kick in the seat of the pants Foss!

We all salute your charity in saving this dispicable excuse for a human being. It comes to us types to uphold certain levels of humanity and morality, even if the rest of the population refuse to acknowledge it. YOU know you did the right thing Foss, and the fact that he's an arrogant pig should not deract from your satisfaction in a job well done, or stop you from acting in the same manner in the future! :)

G-CPTN
28th Dec 2006, 16:00
Perhaps he thought you were trying to roger him?
I thought you had to try backslapping first before the Henrich Heimlich assault?

Bus429
28th Dec 2006, 16:11
Foss,
Rest assured, had I been the choker and the recipient of your life-saving gesture, you would have been sloshed - at my expense - by closing time.:ok: (Although Mrs. 429 would not have thanked you :E)

Foss
28th Dec 2006, 16:38
Matelot
I must remember my apostrophe
I must remember my apostrophe
I must remember my apostrophe
I must remember my apostrophe
OK ? ;)
I was trying to get to the bank before it closed and was typing weally weally quick.
Even thinking about that fat bustard makes me p!ssed off. I did try the back slapping first. It was like slapping a mattress.
My primary concern was I hope this bloody works or else I'm going to look really stupid and he'll be dead and I won't be able to do CPR on someone with a blocked airway.
I should apply to be a doctor on ER, 'Say thank you you fat sod - Stat.'
Fos

Solid Rust Twotter
28th Dec 2006, 16:39
Darwin's going to be more than a little miffed.:rolleyes:

What were you thinking, man?:E

matelot
28th Dec 2006, 17:09
Matelot
I must remember my apostrophe
I must remember my apostrophe
I must remember my apostrophe
I must remember my apostrophe
OK ? ;)
I was trying to get to the bank before it closed and was typing weally weally quick...
You've lost me. :confused: The apostrophe was in the correct place. I was affirming that your post title was how people should act as you did: i.e. It's a pleasure to help people in trouble. Big warm after-glow and all that. The fact that the fat bastard wasn't appreciative should be water off a duck's back - he'll get his reward some day. :ok:

Foss
28th Dec 2006, 17:22
Sorry Matelot, my mistake, oops. :O
I didn't read the thread title again, just assumed I'd got it wrong.
I thought you were referring to punctuation and were pointing out the correct way, not talking about how people should act.
My mistake.
Fos

con-pilot
28th Dec 2006, 17:29
Had it been the States, Foss may have been sued for assaulting him...

Well, er, actually no, that is not correct. In fact in some states if one does not render aid you could be in trouble. Most, if not all states have laws protecting aid givers in the described situation.

Well done Mr. Foss. Glad you at least got a free lunch and pint out of your act of kindest.:ok:

matelot
28th Dec 2006, 18:00
Well, er, actually no, that is not correct ...

It was meant to be tongue-in-cheek (or gobbit-in-throat). :p

Mac the Knife
28th Dec 2006, 18:13
Had it been the States, Foss may have been sued for assaulting him...

As he survived, perhaps not. If he had died however......:uhoh:

Two's in
28th Dec 2006, 19:25
I think Foss failed to mention that it was his fist he removed from the guys throat, hence the apparent lack of gratitde...

Craggenmore
28th Dec 2006, 20:07
Foss,

Wow, happy slapped and saved a life all in the space of a few weeks. Stuff like that never happens to me!!!

I wish you a less eventful 2007...

Broughton Belle
28th Dec 2006, 20:10
Myself and Mr Belle were on holiday with friends when he spotted a woman getting into difficulty out at sea. Along with our friend they swam out and tried to bring her ashore, she was panicking so much she almost drowned my husband in the process, I stood at the end of the beach and my heart was in my mouth I thought I had lost him. Life guards by now were swimming out to them and rescued the woman, my husband and friend were able to swim back to the waiting crowd who were cheering them. When she came ashore she went straight to lie on her beach towel and did not even bother to say thank you for any help - charming. Some peolpe are so ungratful and rude.

:mad:

VFE
28th Dec 2006, 20:14
That's quite unreal Foss - especially in the good land of Ireland!

However, maybe they had some strange perversion whereby the geezer likes having a stranger grab him from behind.....? You know - fake a choking and up steps the stranger... you'd be surpised, there's plenty of weirdoes about these days. :ooh:

Anyway, if nothing else, it's given me a great idea.... get a mate to sit in the corner of a pub, in walks me, he starts to 'choke' and eventually I step in to help out and subsequently claim free beer and lunch. :)

Good job someone here's got their head screwed on! ;)

VFE.

stevef
28th Dec 2006, 20:29
It makes you wonder about some people. A few years back, I was just about to go into a newsagents in the UK (Baginton Village Stores, near Coventry Airport) when I noticed an unoccupied car beginning to roll away from the pavement. I valiantly threw myself over the bonnet as there was a reasonable incline towards the village and held it there for a minute or so. A well-dressed woman then came out of the shop clutching her newspaper, completely ignored me, climbed inside, started up and pulled away as I stood on the kerbside, astounded. I then threw a milk bottle at the car, which shattered the rear windscreen. Actually, I didn't, but I sure as fluck felt like it. Well, really!

Foss
28th Dec 2006, 20:47
I should have ordered steak for lunch instead of a stupid cheese toastie. Ah well.

Stupido rescue years back. Driving along the motorway, and this car in front suddenly veers across all the lanes and disappears over a verge into a field. Airborne.
Takes ages to get to the hard shoulder and jog back.
'I shall shall be the hero of the day, No one is going to die in this way.'
(I've grabbed my Superman costume as well as the med kit from the boot.)
It's an an absolute bollux trying to get down an embankment, over barbed wire fench, across a ditch, and into a field. Your cape gets tangled.

There's someone screaming, a lot.
The car's upside down and wrecked and there's about five bodies lying there and one making an awful lot of noise. The others are very quite. Oh [email protected]

Well, they would be because they were dayglo full body overalls for road workers, which look like bodies in the dark. Doh.

Screamer lad had been thrown a decent 20 metres from his car. Well if he's screaming, he's breathing, then just waited for the ambulance to arrive. Just held his hand, he wanted his fleece opened because it was tight couldn't even do that because the zip was knackered. Certainly wasn't going to move him. Then tons of medics and police arrived.

Got my jeans dirty again.
Fos

Delta
29th Dec 2006, 06:20
Foss god on you mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:ok: :ok: :ok:


as to the other sorry bastard he ...lets say he will remember it in the last few minutes or seconds of his life, and i recon it will hurt more to remember it then, than if you had belted the apreciation in to him that day...
dont let it bother you!!!!!
keep smiling and give your dog a pat for me!!!

Delta

Standard Noise
29th Dec 2006, 06:50
It makes you wonder about some people. A few years back, I was just about to go into a newsagents in the UK (Baginton Village Stores, near Coventry Airport) when I noticed an unoccupied car beginning to roll away from the pavement.

Baginton aka 'Village of the Damned', starting with the odd bloke who used to serve behind the counter of the shop. And don't get me stared on the village Post Office!
Nice Chinese takeaway though.

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Dec 2006, 06:51
Ops normal. Got to the (military) victim of a double malfunction and found him unconscious and not breathing. Got him breathing again although he remained in the Land of Nod. The ambulance arrived after a while along with a fat tart medic who then proceeded to spend her time chatting with the ambulance driver and smoking cigarettes after taking a quick glance at the victim, leaving him to me to get loaded onto the casevac chopper when it rolled up.

A mate of mine in the unit later told me she'd been given a merit award at the annual dinner for her valiant efforts in saving the life of the victim.:}

Foss
29th Dec 2006, 10:58
Standard
It could be worse, it could be Groomsport.
Fos

Bus429
29th Dec 2006, 13:51
I'm having second thoughts about you, Foss; it seems you attract this sort of disaster.:ok:

Foss
29th Dec 2006, 14:10
Like a magnet.
Stand anywhere near me and you'll probably be assaulted, have a seizure, possible heart attack, crash your car, fall off a mountain, have some unlikely carpentry accident or get a nasty cut.

Anyone want to go skiing?
Fos

cvt person
29th Dec 2006, 16:02
Baginton aka 'Village of the Damned', starting with the odd bloke who used to serve behind the counter of the shop. And don't get me stared on the village Post Office!
Nice Chinese takeaway though.
The seperate village post office was closed some years ago and now occupies the same premises as the shop. Chinese take away is still good.

Standard Noise
29th Dec 2006, 17:24
The seperate village post office was closed some years ago and now occupies the same premises as the shop. Chinese take away is still good.

What? You mean the mad old trumper in the shop now runs the PO as well? Has he still got that bloody dog or has it died yet? F***ing horrible mutt!

Foss, Groomsport .v. Baginton, mmm, tough one, but I think I'd plump for Co Down's most boring village, at least it's close to home and has a sea view! All Baginton has is a view of Coventry and a population who could all have been in 'Shaun of the Dead'.:eek:

Foss
29th Dec 2006, 18:54
Standard
It's not that boring. It's got a shop, and ah, a pub, and ah, a carpark.
You can freeze to death in a stiffening breeze reading the paper in a beer garden and look at boats. Fun for all the family.

OK it's really boring. Oh, oh, I forgot there's a cafe now, quick let's go.

Fos sad lonely local yocal


By the way Standard, I just made a massive fry, just want to tell you that to make you feel home sick.;)

Standard Noise
29th Dec 2006, 19:16
That's not fair, you're not allowed to taunt me with fried soda you horrible wee man!!!:ugh:

Not to worry, I'm back over mid January, I'll get a fry up then. Then I'll stuff my rucksack full of soda and Ormo Plain loaves just like I did two weeks ago. It's amazing how two plain loaves only last three days, isn't it?

Foss
29th Dec 2006, 21:03
Standard
Sooooooda.. sooooooodda, soooooda with a fried egg, some potato bread, and brown sauce, maybe some bacon. Think evil laugh now, hoo haa ho ha haaaaaa.

For non Ulster pruners this is the worst taunt I can come up with for Standard. Soda isn't a drink, it's bread made using baking soda instead of yeast as a rising agent. (God that was boring explaining that, probably got it wrong anyway)

Standard, we'll have to try and meet up if you get over.
Fos

Binoculars
30th Dec 2006, 00:50
Never having saved anybody's life or possessing the skills to do so, I will sheepishly admit that my first thoughts were exactly the same as VFE's, to wit, a terrific plan to get a free lunch.

Oh well, some of us are better humans than others. :uhoh:

Floppy Link
30th Dec 2006, 01:49
1)Groomsport's OK, so it is.
2)You can get yer sodies in Tesco, wrapped up in Paul Rankin designer wrapper, but the real thing nonetheless - from Irwins of Portadown.

p.s when home at Christmas I had to have a bag of Tayto Salt and Vinegar - WTF have they done to it? Completely different...hope it was a duff batch or the world really is coming to an end :\

Foss
30th Dec 2006, 02:33
Yeah, Floppy's an Ulsterman

Floppy, serious question.
Why were you eating Tayto salt and vinegar instead of God's given cheese and onion.
Fos

Standard Noise
30th Dec 2006, 02:33
Irwins! Irwins!:yuk: Give me Ormo any day of the week and twice on Sunday (preferably fried in lard with all the trimmings, mmmm. Stop it you fool, you'll get hungry and it's half past two and you're stuck at work miles from the nearest soda!).
We can get those 'designer' sodas here, but you can't beat Ormo, which unfortunately means forking out for a trip home.:{ I suppose it's what you were brought up on, so when me ma didn't have time to make her own soda (mmmm, fresh and hot off the griddle) we had to settle for second best from Ormo.

At least with Tayto, you can order them online.

Oh yeah, I forgot, Tesco had some 'Soda Bread flour' last week, so I've bought it and plan to try it out when I get up this afternoon. It says 'mix with water and knead', but mother dearest always used butter milk so who knows what it'll taste like.

Argonautist
9th Jan 2007, 17:59
The seperate village post office was closed some years ago and now occupies the same premises as the shop. Chinese take away is still good.
What about the girl with the dodgy lip and lisp to go with it who works in the chink. Sorry thats nasty, it just seems like we could get a club of weirdo's going here all within a few doors from each other.

Rossian
9th Jan 2007, 20:16
Many moons ago on the beach at Rock (Cornwall for the colonial brethren) I pulled a little lad out of the outgoing tide rip and when I presented him back to his parents his Dad's only remark was, (in a thick Brummie accent) was "I hope you don't think I'm going to pay for your foo85ing watch" rolled over and continued reading his Daily Mirror. Why is it you never have a Kalashnikov when you need one?
The Ancient Mariner

Blacksheep
10th Jan 2007, 02:30
As I read the story I could visualise it. Harry Potter's Uncle and Aunt stuffing their faces. Starts choking to death. Up steps hero, all shiny faced and wearing a white suit. Gleaming teeth go "bling!" as he smiles and pulls off a perfect Heimlich, producing a textbook projectile hiccup. Poww!

...and the fat bastard carries on eating without so much as a word.

I'm sorry, but I'm still laughing myself silly. I'm sure I know that guy. I really do. I sat opposite him once in a Happy Eater and watched him put a whole quarter pounder in his mouth in one go.

...and he never noticed the mould on the bottom of the bun. :}

Captain Sand Dune
10th Jan 2007, 06:56
Some years ago my wife was at a public swimming pool with our little ‘uns and her sister, when she noticed another wee tacker having difficulty in the deeper part of the pool. As the pool was chockas with other screaming kiddies, the little bloke in difficulties was not very obvious.
My wife did the righty and fished the little guy out. She asked him who his Mum/Dad was, and he pointed out his mother. His Mum had no idea that anything untoward had happened, although in fairness these things can happen very quickly.
The mother’s reaction to the news that her son had had a near-death experience was similar to Foss’s story – barely a grunt in acknowledgement.
Ya gotta wonder sometimes………. :hmm:

GANNET FAN
10th Jan 2007, 09:33
Sod him.
Fos

Fos, that really startled me this morning reading that. Unbelievable.
Almost on the same lines, I was knocked off my m/bike on the Friday before Christmas by someone that just pulled out to fertake without looking in his mirror. Truthfully not my fault. Anyway bruised, dazed, several kind people helped me up, asked if I wanted police and ambulance, declined and the driver was gushingly apologetic, promised to pay for all damages, gave his number and address.

Yeah right. No such address, no such phone.

Found out the CCTV camera was looking the other way at the time.

Some people are really not very nice

621andy
10th Jan 2007, 10:18
I must admit that like FOS, I seem to attract 'experience' with regard to first aid!

I did a very comprehensive first aid course-weeklong with O˛ etc, about 10 years ago. Before the course I'd barely put on a plaster in 30 years, but since then I've been to a fatal glider crash(admittedly not much to do there), scraped people off the road on several occasions, saved my ex when she swallowed her tongue when she passed out with back pain, and dealt with untold cuts and grazes....:uhoh:

Had one in fact 2 nights ago, a pissed biker decided to throw himself down the road outside our pilot house, taking several pedestrians with him. He ended up unconscious, with a broken wrist and possible internal problems. Called a doc/ambulance, but they told us to bring him in ourselves...welcome to Asia..The hospital was an eye opener...:eek:

This was almost a year to the day when we scraped someone off the road outside our house here after he rolled his pickup down the street,got thrown out, and promptly ran himself over. He was breathing when we got to him, but he didn't survive our minstrations....still, having seen the hospital, it's probably just as well.He had a broken jaw(which made CPR etc., interesting), a broken pelvis, broken leg and godknowswot internally. Then they had the cheek to charge us 10$ for the meatwagon we'd ordered to cart him off...:ooh:

Andy

Solid Rust Twotter
10th Jan 2007, 10:21
...The mother’s reaction to the news that her son had had a near-death experience was similar to Foss’s story – barely a grunt in acknowledgement...

Some of the less developed subspecies are still in the throes of developing a language of sorts, and would call that grunt an outpouring of gratitude. Good thing you didn't step on her knuckles or you would have heard two grunts, which as we all know, means bananas will soon be flung around while beating on the ground and hooting....:rolleyes: