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Ozzy
20th Dec 2006, 19:03
Lifted from Overheard in the Office. Gullible obnoxious bloke calls the satellite telly company to help him get back online.

Caller: I just arrived at my lake house for the summer, and the satellite TV isn't working! Why is it off?!
CSR: Sir, please stay calm. It's simple: we just need to reset your receiver since you've been away for a while.
Caller: How long will that take?
CSR: It's easy, sir. Do you have a potato handy?
Caller: Um, let me see... [Pause] Yes, we just picked some up at the store on our way in -- stocking up.
CSR: Great, sir. An apple would also work. Now, what I need you to do is to cut that potato in half. Then I need you place one half of the potato face-down on top of your receiver. Please make sure it's dry.
Caller: What?
CSR: Trust me, sir, I'm a professional. We'll have your service back on in no time.
Caller: Okay... [Long pause] Alright, done. Now what?
CSR: Great, sir. The potato will act upon your receiver's magnetic field and will bring the service back online momentarily. It's a built-in security feature so that no one can use your dish while you're away for most of the year.

CSR presses service reset button, remote satellite transmits 'wake up' signal to inactive receiver, TV comes on.

Caller: That's amazing! Who'd have thought... a potato! Will this work every time?
CSR: Just give us a call if you have any problems in the future, and thank you for using this service.
:E

Ozzy