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Rollingthunder
13th Dec 2006, 05:59
After a long flight and finally drop anchor in a hotel, I like to have a quick wash and brush-up. Then order some food. Does every hotel in the world have French Onion Soup on the menu? That's ok because I like it and it's usually done reasonably well. Add a cheeseburger or a steak sandwich or a Ceasar Salad and a glass of very cold milk and I'm settled. Time to watch some crap TV.

tony draper
13th Dec 2006, 07:40
You lot are spoiled,if I was the airlines I'd make yers bring sandwidges an a flask of coffee to work like everybody else.
:rolleyes:

blue up
13th Dec 2006, 07:48
Just had a nightstop in Punta Cana. All inc deal. Even had a rack of free optics on the wall and a freebie minibar.:} :}

Got back to Blighty and stopped in a dive that served an undercooked burger in a damp roll. Not even enough of those cr4ppy milk-thingies to make an attempt at a decent coffee.:yuk:

Tricky Woo
13th Dec 2006, 08:01
Yep, always french onion soup, burger and fries with ketchup, and steak on all room service menus the world over. Except China where the menu can get very bizarre indeed.

Guess that most hotels the world over have become homogenised after the American hotel industry reached out.

The Romans gave the world running water and sewers, and the Brits gave us just about everything else. But I have to hand it to them, the Yanks gave us functioning hotels. If it wasn't for them, our hotel rooms would all be like Mrs Moggins Bed & Breakfast, of Hartlepool: key on a brick; lights out by 11pm; no shaggin' allowed, even if yer married; bathroom's three flights of stairs away. Where would we be without our L-shaped hotel rooms, with a Gideons Bible, bathroom in the corner by the door, Pay-TV porn, and french onion soup?

God Bless America, I say!!!

Hmm. Not often yer faithful Tricky Woo sez that. Might have to revisit the post and remove that. Going to nag at me, that is. Nag nag nag nag nag.

TW

Wyler
13th Dec 2006, 08:13
In this country the food is generally sh!te.

When living and working in Malaysia I used it all the time.

Sober - Chicken Rice with a side of Satay.

Drunk - Burger and Chips.

My daughters, who are well travelled, had a system upon arriving at a Hotel. The eldest sorted through the trust fridge and took all the sweets/nuts and soft drinks whilst the youngest got on the phone and ordered room service. I had some very interesting bills.:rolleyes:

Ace Rimmer
13th Dec 2006, 08:19
And club sandwiches they all have a club sandwich on the room service menu. I'm an expert on room service club sandwiches of the world.

1DC
13th Dec 2006, 08:43
Arrived at a hilton in New Jersey one night and room service had a four beers and a pizza offer. The pizza turned out to be about 2 feet in diameter.I managed the four beers and about a quarter of the pizza but forgot to put the unused bit out of the room, awful smell next morning and it wasn't me!!

Foss
13th Dec 2006, 12:17
Bloody chicken bloody chicken sandwiches
It's late and you want to go to bed, but order room service. Kitchen is closed, they can do a chicken sandwich, sir.
Well, who's going to be making it if the kitchen's closed, well? It's going to be you, the spotty youth at the front desk, isn't it.
Wait for an hour.
Then you get two small pieces of bread and about five chunks of chicken, no mayo, no mustard.
Take a few moments to take stock, which is all the chicken is useful for, have a small cry, and phone the girlfriend.
'I hate hotels, I want to go home. The chicken sandwich is horrible.'
Darling: 'Don't be silly, go to sleep.'
Eat peanuts which probably cost £20 and watch TV. Can't even watch porn because it will turn up on the bill.
Fos breakfasts are pretty good, unless you're in Germany, or France, or Switzerland or Italy

Rollingthunder
13th Dec 2006, 12:31
Yeah, France.

Spent three weeks in a well known hotel in Issouden once.

Breakfast, everyday, consisted of one hardboiled egg, a couple of bread rolls with jam etc and that was it. There were no options. Hell of a way to start a hard day. Thinking about it there was not much decent to eat in the town. Used to settle for buying some Chevre, a few beers and some crackers.

Nice town otherwise.

Capt Claret
13th Dec 2006, 12:38
Geez Drapes, yur a tough nut. So if you was the airlines, how would you manage the crew having to drink the themos o coffee/tea to prove to the security goons that it was tea/coffee and not a constituent to a [email protected]&b? The crew'd spend more time shuffling to the dunny than they would flyin'!

Foss
13th Dec 2006, 12:43
Ah sure, breakfast is part of the fun.
You can have a really nice coffee, a cold boiled egg and try to read Le Monde, and fail.
Then wonder why anyone would eat salami or cooked ham as soon as they woke up.
Fos

NIGELINOZ
13th Dec 2006, 19:58
Having managed room service departments for many hotels here in Australia there is one suggestion I have:If you are staying at any half decent hotel ask the reception if you can have something off the restaurant menu,any customer service focussed hotel will happily oblige and restaurant menus are more comprehensive.

Capt.KAOS
13th Dec 2006, 20:34
A Classic from the Far East:

Room Service: Morny. Rune-sore-bees.
Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service.
RS: Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen?
HG: Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July then?
HG: What?
RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch...?
HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.
RS: Ow July thee baycome? Crease?
HG: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Okay. An Santos?
HG: What?
RS: Santos. July Santos?
HG: Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so.
RS: No. Judo one toes?
HG: Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
"judo one toes" means. I'm sorry.
RS: Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping we
bother?
HG: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine.
An English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
HG: No. Just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
HG: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.
RS: Copy?
HG: I feel terrible about this but...
RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill...
HG: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.
RS: One Minnie. Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease baycome,
tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?
HG: Whatever you say.
RS: Okay. Tendjewberrymud.
HG: You're welcome.

con-pilot
13th Dec 2006, 20:43
Shoot Capt K. I have stayed in hotels in the US and have the same experience. :p Except the accent was in Spanish.

"Waa chew mont?"

mini
14th Dec 2006, 00:10
Club Sandwich...

Oh Gawd, I'm having flashbacks.

... especially the bloody cocktail sticks that hold the things together

Left Coaster
14th Dec 2006, 03:27
When I finally hang it up, I will be adding a full chapter in the memoirs on Club Sandwiches from room services from around the world. Sometimes it´s all you are gonna get...and there are some strange ideas about what exactly goes into one. How about coleslaw for an example...:yuk:

ExSimGuy
14th Dec 2006, 04:06
And it always comes with chips (sorry - mean french - no, er - freedom - fries)

Club sandwich and chips, cold chicken sandwich and chips, scrambled egg? - with chips :eek:


Con-pilot - Okay - so what? Last time I was in CA, I got the impression that English was the second language in USA :E Every shop had a sign saying "Habla Espagnyole", but I never saw a one with "English spoken here" ;)

Loose rivets
14th Dec 2006, 04:56
Mmmm....

Thinks, Mmmmm...............one is always starting posts with Mmmmm now. It's an Mmmmm...... time of life I suppose.



Knock-knock. The door opens.

"Good morning sir, where do you want it...in bed?"

"No, on the table thanks. Put the uniform on the stand."

The night porter would sponge and press my uniform every night for a small consideration. Small in my case was 6d. (2.5p)

I glance at the time...spot on, five-thirty. The steak looks perfect and the chips just singed...as instructed.

I patter across the marble floor, have a scratch, and sit down to what has become my standard brekki. The bowl of fruit looks good, plenty on the aircraft though, might as well eat it all.


Taxi pull up under the arch and the doorman opens the door for me and puts the cases in the trunk. We are whisked to the field and dropped by met to save time. After what seems just a few minuets, we hare heading towards north Africa, and a wonderful smell reaches the flight-deck.

"What's cooking girls?"

"Steak. Saved you the thick bit as usual."

"Yummy! Thanks."

Benghazi and a flight along what was to become the ‘Line of death', but that's not a problem now.

Along the north coast a bit, then guests in the officer's mess cos we are carrying troops. Now, let me see, what's on the menu. Goody, steak.

The Island looms and our anticipation rises. Wonder what's for dinner...the old Ledra palace usually only has us dining so we get made a fuss of...but before we have even departed the field, we are shaken by the mighty roar of three huge engines. Tanks have arrived to meet the aircraft.

Sticking out of the top of the tank is the soppiest looking beret that you have ever seen, clamped on to an even soppier looking head by bullet-proof headphones. He hails our crew with a screeching upper-class twit accent, forced out from under his protruding teeth.

"I say! Girls....Hello, would you like to come to dinner?"


The girls look to the flight-deck.. "Do you mind?"

I suppress my smirk. "Not me. Have a good time."

The contract I should explain was for the crew...the entire crew. The more of us that we could shed, the more there was for us. Dinner, bed, breakfast and a nice man that played the piano.

"I can recommend the prawn tonight sir, lightly breaded and with...."

My heart sank. Prawn? Oh well....


"And for the main course, I recommend the fillet of steak.";)

seacue
14th Dec 2006, 11:34
ExSimGuy,

You can forget the freedom fries. Congressman Ney was in charge of the Committee on House Administration. He made that change on the menu of the House's dining room. But things turned sour for him, among other things a little item about apparently selling his vote, so he resigned from Congress. I think he's now contemplating prison.

The name of chips / fries was changed back to French upon his departure.

phnuff
14th Dec 2006, 12:42
It must be something about hotels in New Jersey. Some years ago, I had a very early flight and was on a delayed flight into JFK. Realising I would not arrive until about 00:30, and having slept from LHR to JFK (missing the food), I called the hotel (Holiday Inn) and asked if they could make me a plate of sarnies and put a couple of beers in my room. I got there and found the equivalent of about 12 packs of M&S sandwiches piled up and 6 bottles of beer (I drank 2 and the bar gave me the money back for the rest). (oh and I think French Onion soup was on the menu).

Of course, I also had room service at the same chain hotel at Orlando airport once. I put the tray outside the room and it was still there 2 days later. And, at breakfast, the restaurant staff handed me a card advising on how much I should tip them. To be fair to HI, when I complained, they offered me free accomdation at the hotel next time I was in town. I have never been there to take them up on the offer though.

Rollingthunder
14th Dec 2006, 12:53
Noticing no flight attendants commenting. Does that mean you're all nicking j/c meals from the a/c to cover the nights or eating a decent meal at the restaurant?