View Full Version : Office Christmas Parties

12th Dec 2006, 11:10
At this time of year, there are Christmas Parties happening all through the land. What is your most embarassing Xmas Party Story?

Photocopying your own bum isn't enough of a story, whereas photocopying the CEO's wife's bum and faxing it to the Board of Directors is a good story.

I have no friends so I have no stories to tell.

12th Dec 2006, 11:12
I am usually always too drunk to remember, but if you say to yourself before you go that you know you will do something stupid and act like a fool, then the aftermath doesn't hurt as much :p

12th Dec 2006, 11:16
Well i haven't good any myself, but last week my other half looked up the kilt of one of her Captains!

The strange and rather concerning thing is that they are both quite proud of it:eek:


12th Dec 2006, 13:03
Getting very, very drunk in the office, sat in on a meeting which had nothing to do with me, it was for for the next shift, but I gave helpful and insightful advice. Then, I had to leave and go a business canapes crap thing at a bar, more drinks. Then I sat on the edge of a large glass table, which wasn't actually fixed to the base. This created an awful lot of noise as it tipped and smashed and about forty drinks went everywhere. Thought it was better to leave at that point.

Went out and a female colleague was being sick on the bonnet of the managing director's car. 'Look, I think you'd better come with me, I've ordered a taxi.'
That's about 15 years ago.
I'm better behaved now, sort of.

12th Dec 2006, 13:10
At this time of year often recall the classic Giles cartoon of Boss being wished a Merry Christmas and whacked round the ear by a piece of holly wielded by sloshed office worker.

"And a prosperous New Year to you!", was the response.

12th Dec 2006, 13:16
A very dangerous thing was an office party when one worked in the estates department of British Rail as was.

They always went on into the night and then you and your free pass made your way to the station to catch a train home.

The record from Manchester is Milton Keynes instead of Stoke on Trent, or waking up on a locked train inside New Mills tunnel after the crew had forgotten to check for dozing topers and just gone home - no light at all - Bob thought he had gone blind!

Me - never encountered anything like that - far too well behaved!!

12th Dec 2006, 17:51
Wasn't Xmas, Summer afternoon in the pub by the river. One of the workforce was in a wheelchair and great care was taken to make sure he got on his train home.

9 o'clock next morning, office phone goes, it's his wife "where's Fred".

"He was on the 18.30 home"

"He didn't get home".

Fred was found a short while later, after many phone calls, in a guards van in the carriage sidings at Oxford (he had been heading for Didcot).

gorgeous spotter
12th Dec 2006, 21:33
A few years ago we decided to have a different Christmas party and go for a chinese banquet in Chinatown in Manchester. Had a superb meal but sat next to female office lush in her fifties who kept on topping up my glass of white wine so that in the end I must have had the equivalent of 8 or 9 glasses of wine, resulting in being comletely hammered before we left restaurant; launched into someones arms of extreme authority and demanded we all move to gay village for next bout of entertainment. We stayed in well known chain bar there and ended up having teams of 10 in cocktail drinking competitions, you know, down a B52 with extra baileys in 2 seconds flat!! At about midnight I went to downstairs ladies and collapsed, all suited up on the floor, like trampy heap. Was scooped up and put out for air only to find my boss following me out in an even worse state and together we hailed a cab down and got in, with my colleague trailing very close behind. She jumped in and my boss gave two wrong addresses which we went to, one in Oldham the other in Failsworth then finally back to Manchester, then I was dropped off south side and then my friend, the girl I work with. Bill was about 200.00 which she paid for and got off us next day. Took about three years to live that one down. My colleague always kills herself laughing when she tells me and others about when she took our boss to the door of his girlfriends house, and the look of sheer murder on her face at the state of him, her and me laughing in the cab. Think she sticks pins in copycat dolls of us even now.:} :} :} :}

12th Dec 2006, 22:09
Another Crimbo do
Right, I'll behave, have a couple of drinks and go home. Home is in the outskirts of Belfast three, four miles away tops. An easy walk.
Get completely hammered with colleagues, and order a taxi.
I'm so good, I'm so good, driver take me home please.
Unfortunately, I directed him him to my parents house, by which time I was asleep and he kept on driving.
Woke up and I could see fishing trawlers. And a harbour. But not the right harbour.
Rut roh. 'exx scuuse me, where, cough, where are we, ruffly.'
We're at such and such. This is 40 miles beyond the parents house, which is 15 miles beyond my house. Wrong county, wrong house, wrong harbour.
'We'd better go back, this is the wrong harbour.'
Arrive back at the parents house, in a crumpled suit, slightly, well, confused, ask to use the phone, and can I stay over.
Cost a bloody fortune in taxi fare, 80 or something.
Don't really do the office party thing anymore.