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howflytrg
2nd Dec 2006, 14:42
There are approximately two billion children in the world (under 18). However since santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu Jewish or Buddist religions, this reduces the workload on Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million.
At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each home
]Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the rotation of the earth and different time zones. This works out at 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to:
]Park the sleigh
Hop out
Distribute presents
Eat whatever snaks have been left for him
Take the carrot left for Rudolf and his pals back up the chimney
Jump back on the sleigh and get on to the next house
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed aroung the earth ( which of course it isn't but for the purposes of our calculations), we are talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of some 75.5 million miles, not counting loo stops or breaks. This means Santa is moving at 650 miles per second-3000 times the speed of sound. For the purpose of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulyesses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and the conventional Mk1 Reindeer can only run at best 15mph.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each good child gets at most a medium sized lego set of 2lbs, the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself - who is by all accounts a rather portly gent
On land a Mk1 Reindeer can pull no more than 300lbs. Even granting that the 'flying reindeer' could pull ten times the normal amount, the job cannot be done with eight or nine or even ten of them - Santa would require 360,000 of them! this increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, by another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2 ( the ship, not the monarch).
Aroung 600,000 tonnes travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the Earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of Reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating ear deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire Reindeer team would be vaporised in 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters , however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles per second in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500g's. A 250lb Santa ( which seem ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015lbs of force, instantaneously crushing bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo!!
TWADDLE, IF SANTA DOES NOT EXIST WHERE DO ALL THE PRESENTS COME FROM????????
GO ON ANSWER THAT! :}

BlueDiamond
2nd Dec 2006, 15:55
Maybe Santa uses a conveyor belt ... :rolleyes:

ORAC
2nd Dec 2006, 16:40
Is There A Santa Claus? (from a quantum mechanic standpoint) (http://www.fys.uio.no/~hkippe/qsanta.html)

Every year about this time, "analyses" go out over the net purporting to show that Santa Claus cannot possibly exist, because of the extremely
high speeds (and accelerations) required for him to make his rounds, absence of chimneys or other means of ingress, etc. These analyses merely confirm the prevalence of the classical mechanical mindset.

Consider the following:

* Santa is never directly observed, but indirect evidence of him abounds.

* If direct observation is attempted (say, by staying up all night with the lights on), not only is Santa not observed, but the indirect evidence of his presence does not appear either--only if no attempt is made to observe Santa do the stockings get filled.

* Evidence of Santa appears in multiple locations simultaneously throughout the world. (The multiplicity of time zones does not substantially alter this argument, and will therefore be ignored.)

* Evidence of Santa appears even in rooms that are separated from the rest of the universe by barriers (small or non-existent chimneys) that Santa cannot classically pass through.

It is obvious, then, that Santa can best be described by a quantum-mechanical wavefunction SC, which is nonzero at midnight on Christmas eve throughout the world. Like other quantum-mechanical wavefunctions, it is not confined to one spatial location, and can "tunnel" through classical barriers (house walls and roof), producing a potentially nonzero expectation value in (classically allowed) living rooms and apartments. Children expect Santa to arrive; therefore, in living spaces with the child operator (closely related to the annihilation operator), the expectation value is small but finite, and a small but finite fraction of Santa's presents are deposited.

However, if an attempt is made to observe Santa, the observation finds the Santa wavefunction in either a "not-Santa" (OC|SC> = |SC->) or "Santa" (OC|SC> = |SC+>) eigenstate. Because of the very small expectation value of the Santa function (approximately the reciprocal of the number of houses Santa visits, adjusted by local "naughty" and "nice" operators), the eigenstate is extremely likely to be "not-Santa" (|SC->)--no presents appear. One cannot really blame these intrepid experimentalists, however: if one of them did succeed in finding Santa in the "Santa" (|SC+>) state, he or she would not only have unprecendented direct evidence of Santa Claus, but would find Santa's entire load of presents deposited in his or her living room.

R. Carey Woodward, Jr., Ph.D.
--------------------------------------------------------

Which leads, logically, to: Santa & Entanglement (http://www.fmbr.org/editoral/edit06_07/edit3-nov06.php)....

Craggenmore
2nd Dec 2006, 16:42
There are approximately two billion children in the world (under 18). However since santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu Jewish or Buddist religions, this reduces the workload on Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million.

This seems to say that Christians don't get enough sex :confused:

SLFguy
2nd Dec 2006, 17:03
This seems to say that Christians don't get enough sex :confused:


I'm not even going to mention the missionary position...

HowlingWind
2nd Dec 2006, 19:30
However since santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu Jewish or Buddist religionsCare to quote a source for this?

Ever been to Singapore during Chrimbo time? All of the above (well, maybe not that many Jewish) and plenty of Santas to be had. Go on, explain yourself here... :rolleyes:

Loose rivets
2nd Dec 2006, 21:07
Is There A Santa Claus?
R. Carey Woodward, Jr., Ph.D.
--------------------------------------------------------
Which leads, logically, to: Santa & Entanglement (http://www.fmbr.org/editoral/edit06_07/edit3-nov06.php)....


There is only one Santa, much in the same way that Richard Feynman concluded that there was only one electron. :hmm:

miikey
2nd Dec 2006, 21:38
"they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating ear deafening sonic booms in their wake."



thats HILARIOUS:ugh: :eek: :) lol...

and another point to add,,so if santa moves so fast, then that would explain why it would be pointless for a child to stay awake,,hes moving so fast, and only when he dumps into you would you realise it was him,,but then the total kenetic energy of that "dump" would be so great, you'll be blasted through the wall and into you neighbour bed, lol. wow

allan907
2nd Dec 2006, 23:44
Santa would require 360,000 of them! this increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, by another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2 ( the ship, not the monarch).

All together now........OH NO IT ISN'T!

The Queen Elizabeth 2, or QE2 as she is commonly known was the flagship of the Cunard Line for over 30 years. QE2 made her maiden voyage in 1969 and is one of the last great Transatlantic liners. At 70,327 tons and 963 feet long with a top speed of 32.5 knots she is also one of the largest and fastest passenger vessels afloat.

howflytrg
3rd Dec 2006, 20:46
That trully would be one powerful dump. Lets just hope he does not stop off for a curry on the way!!:E

Blacksheep
5th Dec 2006, 01:34
TWADDLE, IF SANTA DOES NOT EXIST WHERE DO ALL THE PRESENTS COME FROM????????
GO ON ANSWER THAT! The answer is very simple. howflytrg's classical attempt at interpretation fails on all counts, because he's an adult. ORAC's quantum theory analysis almost gets there, but leaves out the one essential ingredient...

Magic.

Magic of course, only works for children. When you stop believing in Santa, the magic dies and you become an ordinary person.

The only known cure for ordinary-personism is to have lots of grandchildren. Mr & Mrs Blacksheep begin the cure next April

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
5th Dec 2006, 03:24
you'll be blasted through the wall and into you neighbour bed,That's the perfect answer to that earlier thread about the woman next door giving the bloke the eye.

vapilot2004
5th Dec 2006, 05:37
Guess I won't be getting that pristine pair of Leak Stereo 60s with matching Varislope valve preamplifiers either then. :{ :{

jay_hl
5th Dec 2006, 13:20
Maybe he just uses ebay now! 108 million presents of ebay should be relatively simple. Shouldn't it?