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Suppers Ready
28th Nov 2006, 17:30
I blame me dad.
'Son' he said ' Don't give a woman a present you think she will like. You have to listen to her. She will drop hints starting a couple of months before the day'
Seemed like good advice at the time.
Anyway, got married. No money. First Christmas.
Things were very very tight so I remembered me dads' advice.

Christmas morning - I opened mine wooh hoo - a ZX Spectrum 64 (showing my age)
She opened hers. I was sooooo excited.
'Wot the f"#$s this?' She said.
'It's a brand new latest model steam iron. I know you wanted it because you've been dropping hints for months!!' I beamed like a Cheshire cat.
'A f"@%ing iron???? I buy you a new bleedin computor thingy and you get me a <A href="mailto:[email protected]"%ing">[email protected]"%ing iron!!!!' I then realised my dad was wrong.
I have never been allowed to forget it. She still phones up radio stations when they have these 'Worst present ever' phone ins. Even gives my correct name.
Phone my dad at the time
'You got her a wot????'
'It's your fault, dad, she was hinting for months'
'You got her a wot???? ho ho ha ha hee hee.

It's my dads' fault

ExSimGuy
28th Nov 2006, 17:38
You mean you got a real, genuine, vintage Speccy?:{

What a wifey - she really deserved that lovely hi-tech Steam Iron

You both must love each other sooooooo much, and can read each others' minds:uhoh:

modtinbasher
28th Nov 2006, 18:56
Saucepans seem to generate the same respect too!

G-CPTN
28th Nov 2006, 19:18
Wish I could remember the 'just what she wanted' present that cemented our relationship a year or so ago. I know I thought it was pretty cool (and that was the reception . . . ) :confused:

frostbite
28th Nov 2006, 20:01
You can't go wrong with a new pair of fleece lined Marigolds and a new pinny (preferably one with a pair of knockers printed on the top).

Give 'em owt else and you lose respect.

Whirlygig
28th Nov 2006, 20:16
On the other hand, I think I got a similar reaction when I bought my husband a sander and drill! He was a stranger to DIY and I think I got more use out of them! :E :ok:



Don't mean it dear - they were luvverly shelves



Cheers

Whirls

PS - I did say to my husband shortly before we married, "If you ever refer to me as THE wife, I won't be THE wife for much longer!"

BlooMoo
28th Nov 2006, 20:46
If you ever refer to me as THE wife, I won't be THE wife for much longer

Now that to me seems a tad harsh and not a little vindictive and threatening to boot. To me, using the term 'THE wife' implies something positive e.g. this is not just any old wifey but THE wife - best one yet kind of stuff - a compliment surely!?!?! No?

BM:ouch:

Flagon
28th Nov 2006, 21:21
I gave my wife one last Christmas - she got it in her stockings.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
29th Nov 2006, 01:18
You should get her some lingerie and assorted clothing, but remember to get it AT LEAST one size too small :ok:

GuppyEng.com
29th Nov 2006, 03:52
I too made the fatal mistake!
A nice shiny new Dyson:ouch:

Standard Noise
29th Nov 2006, 05:09
My sister in law must be easily pleased then. I can remember my brother buying her a new microwave one year, wrapped up all pretty too. She was dead chuffed.............and they're still married 9 years later.

As for the wife, it's bad enough having to think up something special each year, but the ungrateful mare has the audacity to have her birthday on the 24th December as well! Then she pulls the rug out by saying, "no jewellery this year love, I've got plenty of nice jewellery and only one pair of ears and one neck. So no jewellery, please." Problem is, with her, she actually means it. I've told her that at this rate, she'll get an envelope stuffed full of cash cos I've run out of ideas.

bentbanana
29th Nov 2006, 07:58
i bought my wife a bacon slicer, i have never been allowed to forget it.....:{
ever........

Whirlygig
29th Nov 2006, 08:28
Now that to me seems a tad harsh and not a little vindictive and threatening to boot. To me, using the term 'THE wife' implies something positive e.g. this is not just any old wifey but THE wife - best one yet kind of stuff - a compliment surely!?!?! No?

BM:ouch:
You missed off my exclamation mark!!! "The", to me, implies an object whereas "My" implies, to me, a pride in the marriage!

Cheers

Whirls

GANNET FAN
29th Nov 2006, 08:37
She said "don't even think about buying me anything for the kitchen. OK what then, "preferably something that sparkles and comes in a light blue box." For those not in the know, thats Tiffany's packaging.

Yes dear

Tricky Woo
29th Nov 2006, 08:45
Was thinking of buying meine kleiner Hausfrau a Playstation III for Xmas.

TW

vapilot2004
29th Nov 2006, 09:02
Avoid exercise equipment of any kind. :ouch:

:}

BellEndBob
29th Nov 2006, 10:09
Firts Xmas after getting married we were too busy unwrapping each other to bother about presents. :E :E :E :E :E :E :E :E

Always brings back happy memories as I stuff the turkey.:eek:

futurshox
29th Nov 2006, 12:26
She said "don't even think about buying me anything for the kitchen. OK what then, "preferably something that sparkles and comes in a light blue box." For those not in the know, thats Tiffany's packaging.

Yes dear

She wants a lightshade?

UniFoxOs
29th Nov 2006, 14:47
She said "don't even think about buying me anything for the kitchen.


Mine said the same - then bought me an orange juicer and a coffee filter machine!!

UFO

Sailor Vee
29th Nov 2006, 14:55
Tiffany's packaging.They do breakfast in a box???:confused:

The Hustler
29th Nov 2006, 15:53
I got mine a microwave for our first christmas - when she dropped the first (un)subtle hint I asked her if she was sure, because I'd heard the warnings about irons/washing machines etc. She wanted a microwave - but it was a stainless steel one when they were only just coming out and therefore costing loads :(

I refer to my missus as my first wife - it reminds her that I'm her second attempt (although I like to think of myself as an upgrade :E ).

This year? I forgot to listen for the hints, so I haven't the foggiest . . . although she did mention she wants a new stereo for the bedroom as the speakers for the current one don't match the wood colour of the furniture :rolleyes:

dakkg651
29th Nov 2006, 16:01
Mine always told me that it's the thought that counts.

So last Christmas I told her I'd thought of buying her a new car.

Some women just don't have a sense of humour do they?

MadsDad
29th Nov 2006, 17:33
GuppyEng.

I did the Dyson thing as well, except not at Xmas.

Got MadsMum a Dyson for Valentines Day. Not sure if that's better or worse but she had been dropping hints (subtle ones like "we need a new vacuum. Can't we get one of those new Dysons") for a while.

(And it was in addition to choccies, jewelry etc.).

To Add.

And just mentioned to MadsMum that I've posted this and she reminded me about my Dads present to my Mum for their 25th wedding anniversary. Two pounds of onions. She never forgave him (and what's that about genes?).

gorgeous spotter
29th Nov 2006, 20:12
Most women love : jewellery - the more expensive the better; shoes, the more expensive the better; cashmere jumpers and throws (for the bed); taffeta throws for the bed; expensive perfume - Harvey Nichols or Selfridges; anything from Mappin and Webb; expensive designer sunglasses; excellent hardback books to read, pay a visit to Waterstones or go online to Amazon and really good wines and champagne. Nice stylish table lamps from Laura Ashley or John Lewis don't go amiss either. I forgot to mention expensive Diptyque candles which they sell in Space NK, beautiful and stylish and brighten up any room, table etc.:) :)

allan907
29th Nov 2006, 23:37
Sod the women. Why can't they come up with decent pressies for blokes? Why does it have to be ties, socks, M&S underpants or something equally uninspiring?

Ladies - MEN WANT TOYS! in fact anything that comes with an instruction book would be fine. :ok:

Lon More
29th Nov 2006, 23:46
MEN WANT TOYS!
Just had a call from the lady friend. She knows what I want for Christmas but is having difficulty wrapping it

Hobo
30th Nov 2006, 05:29
Whirls and MJ....

I sometimes introduce my wife as "My first wife.." but "current" is much better! I shall use it from now on.

jon s gull
30th Nov 2006, 05:59
in fact anything that comes with an instruction book would be fine. :ok:

Whats the instruction book for?

arcniz
30th Nov 2006, 06:04
On rare occasion have called mine the "last wife". Seems to play alright, when not overdone.

LowNSlow
30th Nov 2006, 07:55
Whirls MJ arcniz and hobo, a mate of mine refers to his wife as "the next ex-Mrs........" Strangely enough she finds it less than amusing most times. The other times she gets really teeded off and clouts him which the gathered friends always find completely hysterical!

GANNET FAN
30th Nov 2006, 08:37
Most women love : jewellery - the more expensive the better; shoes, the more expensive the better; cashmere jumpers and throws (for the bed); taffeta throws for the bed; expensive perfume - Harvey Nichols or Selfridges; anything from Mappin and Webb; expensive designer sunglasses; excellent hardback books to read, pay a visit to Waterstones or go online to Amazon and really good wines and champagne. Nice stylish table lamps from Laura Ashley or John Lewis don't go amiss either. I forgot to mention expensive Diptyque candles which they sell in Space NK, beautiful and stylish and brighten up any room, table etc.:) :)

Thank you Gorgeous, that's QUITE enough

yakker
4th Dec 2006, 18:02
All this talk of women getting upset with something practical for Christmas, yet buy a guy a new socket set, or a set of rachet spanners, and he is happy. Must be because men are single phase and women three phase.

handysnaks
4th Dec 2006, 18:20
A few Chrimbos ago my wife received from yours truly, a fine womens sized spear and jackson matching garden fork and shovel set. Sad thing was, she was really pleased with it. Underwear presents ha, in my dreams!!:sad: