View Full Version : Midday Friday joke

24th Nov 2006, 10:51
Nude Runner
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.
One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God -
Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!" "I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!" "If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied.
He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your
problems!" So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and
jumps out the window!

As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered
he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so
he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being
naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could.
After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"
Another runner moved along side. "Do you always run carrying your
clothes with you under your arm?"
Oh , yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get
dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do
you always wear a condom when you run? "
"Nope.........just when it's raining".

Sorry best I could do today

24th Nov 2006, 12:10
Adam was wandering lonely around the garden of Eden.

He picks up the hot-line to God and explains that he is bored and fed up, the garden is untidy and that he and his fig leaf need washing.

God replies that he is actually working on something that he is going to call "woman". She will look after his every need, his cooking, washing, ironing and keep him entertained with witty and humours conversation. Only problem is to finish the job God will need to take Adam's left arm, left leg and right eye.

Thinking it is a heavy price to pay, Adam asks God if he can think about it overnight.

The following morning Adam calls God again on the hot line.

"God, this "woman" deal,

What would I get for a rib bone ??"

24th Nov 2006, 12:24
Ironically, ever since then they've done NOTHING BUT cost us an arm and a leg!

cessna l plate
24th Nov 2006, 12:26
A man is on the beach one day, having a wade through the hot sand, when as luck would have it, he chances upon a little old lantern. Giving it a rub as you might imagine a genie pops out.

"You have 2 wishes oh master, what can I do for you?"
After the ususal make me the richest man in world routine the bloke says
"I would like you to build a highway linking Hawaii to the American mainland"
The genie looks at him a bit put out, "But that oh sir will take millions of tons of concrete and steel, and even for a genie such as I would be an impossible task, is there something else I can do for you instead?"

The man thinks a while and then says to the genie "OK, in that case, I want you to make me be able to understand women, and know when something is funny or insulting and basically always be on a par with the female mind"

The genie rubs his chin in thought for a moment and then says
"This road, 2 lanes or 4?"