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tony draper
23rd Nov 2006, 22:55
Speaking to someone tonight who told me he had had a row with someone at work,"I've never liked that fecker" he said.
Made me remember ,just signed on a ship and was standing in the crew mess room yacking to a couple blokes I had sailed with before when out the corner of me eye I see a bloke walk through the door, I turn he looks at me and I look at him and its instant hatred,dangerous thing on a ship, however tiz a short voyage and we sucessfully avoid each other for the most part,saw this on another ship ,the Sparky and one of the firemen,no apparent reason for it total strangers never clapped eyes on each other and again apparent instant hatred,the atmosphere used to be pallatable whenever the two of them were in the same room,that one came to blows,I was not there at the time but I hear one walks into a bar where tother is they look at each other to him and they both start swinging.
Weird situation to be in, no logic to it, I have worked and been in the company of other I have disliked for one reason or another but that is just normal dislike and usually has some reason behind it.
I suppose love at first sight must have a negative partner,just as well concidering we were blokes,
Anybody else experienced this?
:rolleyes:

Fliegenmong
23rd Nov 2006, 23:03
Um. yeah Drapes the Mother in law looked at me like that

Lon More
24th Nov 2006, 01:10
Had something similar with a trainee controller several years back. i don't know what caused it, I just hated him. He went on to be dismissed ( without any assistance from me), then went on to work as Ops. Manager(!) for a short lived Irish airline

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
24th Nov 2006, 01:33
I had a thread about this and I got roundly criticised.

I disliked some guy at work, though I had a good reason. He wore trainers with real trousers. Tosser.

BlueDiamond
24th Nov 2006, 02:57
Experienced that a time or two as well, Mr. Draper. There is no logical reason for it, it really is "intense revulsion at first glance." Without even exchanging a word with the person to find out what they're like, without knowing them in any way at all or even anything about them, the loathing and repugnance kick in instantly at the first glance ... and once established, the feelings never seem to go away.

It's not only a real-life thing either; I had that instant and total loathing of Sylvester Stallone the first time I ever saw one of his films. To this day, I could happily start kicking him in the head first thing in the morning and still be contentedly doing that last thing at night. Irrational, illogical and without any foundation whatsoever, but there is no aspect of that man that I can abide in any shape or form. He's probably a very nice person in real life and is kind to children and animals and all of that but the mere sight of him triggers my inclination to beat him over the head with a large hammer.

Loose rivets
24th Nov 2006, 06:11
It was the strangest thing. While at school, a lad made it his life's work to spit hatred at me every time he saw me. "I'm gonna nock yer teef darn yer froat!!" he said, time and again. I was a tad taller than him but still quite skinny, I wasn't much for street fighting and really didn't want to play. It went of for weeks and started to wear me down.

One day in the playground, it all started again and boys gathered in a sort of globular cluster round us. I had just been minding my business and still didn't want to play, but it went on and on until something in me snapped.

I hardly knew where it came from...and he certainly didn't, a left jab with everything I'd got behind it. It caught him slap in the middle of his snarling face. He went flying backwards and nearly fell over...but recovered in time to start stumbling backwards again. He repeated this four times and made his way half way across the playground before falling to the ground. I don't know of the two of us who was most surprised.

It was his down turned mouth that I remember the clearest...sort of expression of someone that had just lost ten bob. That should stop this nonsense I thought. Did it? Did it hell. Next time I saw him.

"I'm gonna nock yer teef darn yer froat!!"

beana
24th Nov 2006, 09:50
Hey i know what you mean Draper! Maybe its a memory of somebody's face that has been laying dormant in our sub-consciousness, the face of somebody who upset us when we were babies or very small people, and this person we have just met looks like them?

I'v also found that i'v met people and instantly liked them and just know from the second our faces met that we would get on... :)

Mr Lexx
24th Nov 2006, 10:03
It is the same nature over. when I was a lad, I worked in a dog kennels. We seperated all of the "Fighters" and they had their own kennels. The rest has seperate kennels and a communal run. Two dogs that got on well with all of the others just hated each other and would take lumps out of one another.

The dogs lived 20 miles apart and had never met before. A year later, they were both booked in at the same time. It bloody happened again. Neither dog fought with any other dog, just when they saw each other, they tried to commit doggicide.

mooguy
24th Nov 2006, 10:17
I know what you mean though-its in us all, to- at a glance either like or hate someone, its primal. My cousins baby who is very blonde and blue eyed is scared of any female near her who has black hair. We think it is because when she was given her first vaccinations as a tiny infant it was because she was living in saudi arabia, and the nurse was fairly rough with her. But then...both her parents are blond and blue eyed.....are we afraid of anybody who's too disimiliar? I've hated people on first meeting, and felt guilty about it, and I"ve also loved people on first meeting....and I've had the same feelings returned..........:confused:

Farmer 1
24th Nov 2006, 11:05
We had a chap join the company, then leave after a short while.

One of my colleagues explained his feelings: "I took an instant dislike to him. I thought it would save time later."

Tricky Woo
24th Nov 2006, 17:01
Usually something I'd to feel towards the end of a relationship.

TW

frostbite
24th Nov 2006, 18:09
That's an emotion I often feel when a new television presenter appears.

arcniz
24th Nov 2006, 20:07
Hey i know what you mean Draper! Maybe its a memory of somebody's face that has been laying dormant in our sub-consciousness, the face of somebody who upset us when we were babies or very small people, and this person we have just met looks like them?

I'v also found that i'v met people and instantly liked them and just know from the second our faces met that we would get on... :)


This is a very plausible explanation.

From a long-term study of the workings of biological memory (with an eye to copying the whole scheme), I learned that most conceptualisation is an unconscious and very automatic process of 'template-fitting', based on prior experience and the emotions of the time plus post-processing of same, combined with a lot of noise from physiological and genetic origins.

Conscious thought is the perceptible tip of a much broader and fuzzier continuous process of activating and inter-activating templates, based on fresh information from sensory perceptions and other context signals from the body. (dreams are similar.. but without a portion of the sensory input). So the connection between one's like or dislike of another may come from a nexus of stored memories completely unrelated to the person.. perhaps even from a muscle or giblet that's having a bad day.

I've had the experience, as well. It's great to know we are such rational animals, eh?



Loose rivets said

One day in the playground, it all started again and boys gathered in a sort of globular cluster round us. I had just been minding my business and still didn't want to play, but it went on and on until something in me snapped.



I accidentally discovered this under similar circumstances, then generalised it as a strategy for dealing with the testosterone-loaded feistiness that seemed to drive some into sorting out the pecking order after the start of fall term.

Method was to stay as far as possible from the trouble-makers during the early rounds of aggression - mainly to reduce the number of prospective contestants. Then, when confrontation became inevitable, a single well-placed solid punch would usually break some bully's lucky streak for good... and often his nose as well. One also gained a few scars from days when that plan didna fit the bill.

G-CPTN
24th Nov 2006, 20:55
This is a very plausible explanation.
From a long-term study of the workings of biological memory (with an eye to copying the whole scheme), I learned that most conceptualisation is an unconscious and very automatic process of 'template-fitting', based on prior experience and the emotions of the time plus post-processing of same, combined with a lot of noise from physiological and genetic origins.
Conscious thought is the perceptible tip of a much broader and fuzzier continuous process of activating and inter-activating templates, based on fresh information from sensory perceptions and other context signals from the body. (dreams are similar.. but without a portion of the sensory input). So the connection between one's like or dislike of another may come from a nexus of stored memories completely unrelated to the person.. perhaps even from a muscle or giblet that's having a bad day.
It certainly works (and has done for half a century) for me with potential sexual partners, though in a positive manner. My 'ideal' woman fits a silhouette AND certain 'tick-points' and I accept/reject within a matter of seconds (depending on the availability of information). I've always believed it to be a conditioned response to the response garnered from initial forays into exploratory sexual activity. I bumped into an old girlfriend whom I hadn't seen for 40 years and the attraction was immediately rekindled (despite the fact that she always denied me access to the fruits of 'love'). I revisited my 'checklist' and, despite her advancing years, I found that she still ticked the essential boxes.
As far as dislikes and hates I've had a few, but not specific pattern seems to emerge, other than 'not liking' self-satisfied gigolos and lounge-lizards.

arcniz
24th Nov 2006, 21:01
Aye, but more for the wantin' than the havin'.

mini
25th Nov 2006, 00:51
Often get this feeling with people I meet.

But. The key phrase I remind myself with is "I must build a relationship" I know it sounds like management school bullshit, but 20 odd years on from that it now makes more sense than ever. And it works.

If I build a relationship I can control events.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
25th Nov 2006, 01:19
I found that she still ticked the essential boxeswhereas you, were unfortunately not afforded the same privileges :E

Capt. Queeg
25th Nov 2006, 10:14
Usually something I'd to feel towards the end of a relationship.TWWhat, instant hatred??

Tricky Woo
25th Nov 2006, 22:29
Yep, Mr Queeg, everything had hitherto been running tickety boo, and then from nowhere comes this overwhelming surge of instant hatred.

How long have I known you? Heh heh heh...

TW

Atlas Shrugged
28th Nov 2006, 02:01
Anybody else experienced this?

http://www.mgi.net.au/~izzo/pictures/ak47.jpg
What, me?................Never :suspect: :suspect:

Blacksheep
28th Nov 2006, 06:08
Hatred is an emotion that has so far escaped me. Dislike certainly, but I stop at mere loathing.

Even for a certain particularly unscrupulous, unprincipled and dishonourable former CEO of ours...

VH-MTT
28th Nov 2006, 13:32
I once took an immediate dislike to guy in my local pub once, never seen him before but he riled me something rotten.

We ended up playing pool against each other and the game went from determination to beat the guy to a great laugh, we've been fairly decent friends ever since.

Instinct not one of my best attributes. lol

M.