View Full Version : Ot - Sweet Revenge On The Telemarketer And The Junk-mail Sender

7th Oct 2006, 08:32
Thanks to a retired colleague from Gatwick who passed on some suggestions to help rid the world of the modern-day menaces!

(1) Three Little Words That Work !!

The three little words are: " Hold On, Please......"
Saying this, then putting down your handset and walking off
( instead of hanging-up immediately ) would make each telemarketing
call so much more time-consuming that double-glazing sales would
grind to a halt. Then, when you eventually hear the "beep-beep-beep"
tone warning you that your phone is off the hook, you know it's time to
go back and replace your handset, which has now efficiently completed its task.
These three little words will help towards eliminating telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the
other end? This is a telemarketing device whereby a machine
makes phone calls and records the time of day when a live person
actually answers the phone. This technique is used to determine
the best time of day for a "real" salesperson to call and find
someone at home, instead of hearing the answer-phone.
What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there,
is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone,
6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine
that dialled the call and it kicks your number out of their system.

(3) When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything
from credit cards to second mortgages and similar type junk, do not
throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with return-
postage-prepaid envelopes, right? It costs them more than the
regular postage, if and when they are returned. It costs the sender
nothing if you throw the envelope away ! In that case, why not get
rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little
postage-prepaid return envelopes. Send an ad for your local chimney
cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Westpac.
If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their
blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just
make sure your name isn't on anything you return. You can even
send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them
guessing ! It will still cost them !!! The banks and credit card
companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in
the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let
them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all
they're paying for it....... Twice ! Let's help keep the Royal Mail
busy, since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their
business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage
rates again. You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- maybe you'll
get very little junk mail in future.

Farmer 1
7th Oct 2006, 08:42
Or, if you just prefer a quiet life, subscribe to the Mail Preference Service and the Telephone Preference Service.

It's free, and it works, although it does not prevent firms choosing numbers at random from the telephone directory.

Or, if you want to be even nastier than bealine, return the prepaid envelope with something heavy in it, so extra postage is charged.

7th Oct 2006, 21:25
I received another 'flyer' from Amex this morning, who obviously are not that bright since I've been a customer of theirs for nearly 20 years with the same card without ever upgrading. They kindly enclosed a prepaid enevelope which I'm now going to use to send them all my other junk mail.

Thanks Bealine, great idea :ok:

8th Oct 2006, 02:08
Yes Bealine they are additional good ideas. One of the fastest ways to get rid of calls that are trying to sell you Double Glazing, a New Kitchen or similar is to say (politely of course), "I'm sorry but I only rent this house." They hang up immediately as they cannot sell to you.

With regards to the idea of sending '#' tones down the line, I have to say that I doubt this will make any differance. If the call is to check for an off-hook condition, then any tones received will be ignored.

These 'silent' calls are more often caused by the computer dialling three people at the same time and the first to answer is connected to the agent and the other two calls are dropped - irrespective of whether they have been answered or not. This is done so that the agent is kept busy for every possible split second.

When you receive a silent call, check the 1471 as they have to send this info and there are limits as to how many silent calls you can receive in a given period.

Above based on 25 years in telecommuniciations

8th Oct 2006, 09:55
When you receive a silent call, check the 1471 as they have to send this info and there are limits as to how many silent calls you can receive in a given period. - but this will not work for 'number withelds' and 'forrin' calling systems - and guess what....................

8th Oct 2006, 11:23
of Preference service, the junk mail that they have contracted to deliver.

Solution, just place back in local post box, very tidy, and energy efficient, also green.


8th Oct 2006, 12:00
BOAC indeed that is true and shows the great glories of the capitalist system by which humans have decided to live their lives. :rolleyes:

However, I have found an 0845 number after many silent calls. I do not call them but it helps me know how many organisations are calling my unlisted number.

But things are better than they were, I think. BT have been stopped from abusing the directory system to make cold calls and many companies have realised that the Brits do not appreciate this method of contact.

As to paper junk mail, I find that to be steadily decreasing although that might just mean that I am not considered a suitable client by them. For the place where I live, I do not fit the prevailing demographic. The largest single reason for cutting down on junk contacts (of all kinds) is that I currently rent my property. Ownership places you at the top of a lot more lists and places for people to sell your information. :ouch:

9th Oct 2006, 11:12
I have subscribed to telephone preference service, it isnt working as good as it ought to. The foreign based call centre calls seem to get thru the net.

A new tactic which someone told me on Saturday for those disturbing evening sales calls at home is to say "have you got the time on you?" - when the operators says "yes, its half past six" you reply "SORRY - too late" and hang up!

Otherwise just leave the reciever off and go away & start whistling in the background.

9th Oct 2006, 11:54
Foreign based call centres do not 'get through the net' they bypass it altogether!! They are not bound by these rules. So I would expect that there are UK call centres that are calling peopl ein their countries. :}

I always try to be polite to them when they call. It must be a truly $hitty job with a very low success rate. I would lay bets that their working conditions are very poor as well.

Solid Rust Twotter
9th Oct 2006, 12:50
Surely there's an interesting little gift in the cat's litter tray that can be included with the other junk going into the prepaid return envelopes?;)

Duff beer
9th Oct 2006, 14:12
Think about it chaps.......

Royal mail makes lots of money from junk mail deliveries, hence this keeps the cost down for the rest of us.
It keeps lots of people in jobs and generally causes minmal hassle. How hard is it to throw away 2 or 3 pieces of post a day.

9th Oct 2006, 14:28
Plus there are sometimes some vouchers for free stuff :) albeit free rubbish, but its still free. On the other hand, for people who get a rediculous amount of junk it can get very annoying.

Also, there was something on the radio earlier (or yesterday) about the limit of junk mail may be changed in the near future

9th Oct 2006, 14:40
Also, there was something on the radio earlier (or yesterday) about the limit of junk mail may be changed in the near future

Yes, it's currently (allegedly) limited to three items per week, so that means I got my ration all in one go this morning. I wish.

Going to get even better when we all have to start paying for rubbish collection by weight - I can see a resurgence in the popularity of bonfires looming.

9th Oct 2006, 15:30
How hard is it to throw away 2 or 3 pieces of post a day.That's it . . . never mind the planet, so long as some marketing company's greed is satisified.

As for keeping people in jobs, wouldn't it be more to the point if they were employed doing something useful like clearing up litter, or figuring out ways to cut down pollution and energy use ?

Lon More
9th Oct 2006, 15:45
Re the return postage. IIRC there is no actual limit to what could be sent with this. A neatly parcelled housebrick comes to mind

9th Oct 2006, 16:33
Well the UK post oOffice wishs to deliver more than 3 items of unaddressed adverts each week, ie unlimited amounts. I for one shall save them for Sunday and push them back in the post office sortin office mail box

9th Oct 2006, 17:17
MPS is well known for stopping direct addressed marketing mail, but less well publicised is the means to stop 'To the householder' type unaddressed marketing mail that is delivered by the postie. Send and email to: [email protected] asking for it to be stopped. (And tell 'em Colmac told you! ;) )

9th Oct 2006, 17:38
The whole reason for the upsurge in anonymous "To the householder" type mail is precisely because so many people have signed up to the Mailing Preference Service thus preventing the companies from sending normal junk mail.

Exactly why we should have to opt-out again is beyond me. Just don't send them to anyone already signed up for MPS. Oh, of course, that would defeat the purpose which is to get around the MPS.

I'm also baffled at what the companies hope to achieve by sending their junkmail to people who have already said they don't want it ? OK, they've found a way to circumvent the preference services, but can they not figure out that all they are achieving is to further antagonise people who may at one time have been potential customers but who will now happily burn their mailings or return them filled with dog-poo.

So, suppose we register with [email protected] - how long before they come up with some other scheme / scam to keep sending us the damned stuff ? probably stuff it down the chimney next . . .

9th Oct 2006, 17:45
I usually just put the phone down and wait until I hear a Hello, hello then I go on and ask if they are finished talking then hang up. Usuall ties up the phone for a couple of minutes but I get a lot of satisfaction out of it.

9th Oct 2006, 18:38
If I'm just sitting here wasting time at my computer, and the telemarketer call comes in, I often drag them out for a while --you can keep them going for 15-30 minutes. "How do I sign up?" "What else do you have to offer." "Where do you live." On speakerphone, and I'm not really listening. Then the time comes for "okay, I've heard enough, not interested. Click." One guy got so mad he called me back. I loved it.

9th Oct 2006, 19:16
You can always do something like this (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=234230) :E

10th Oct 2006, 17:03
one chap selling mobile phone providers, nearly wet himsefl when i told him i spent 600 quid per month on mobiles. i kept him going for ages, then told him to fook off.
my name must on their puter system now cause they have phoned me back twice since then. god khows how much its cost (from india) so far?

another trick of mine, is to rub a candle on the bit of the form where it says, for official use only. they must have hrs of fun trying to write summat on there.

i need to get out more often.

13th Oct 2006, 13:45
Or you could try this (http://www.twango.com/media/jim.humor/jim.11857?type=mostrecent&tab=audio)instead :E:E:E


Mr Lexx
13th Oct 2006, 14:39
Or you could try this (http://www.twango.com/media/jim.humor/jim.11857?type=mostrecent&tab=audio)instead :E:E:E

http://forums.bradbarnett.net/images/smilies/rollinglaugh.gifhttp://forums.bradbarnett.net/images/smilies/rollinglaugh.gifhttp://forums.bradbarnett.net/images/smilies/rollinglaugh.gifhttp://forums.bradbarnett.net/images/smilies/rollinglaugh.gif Love it!

13th Oct 2006, 14:43
Nice one Ozzy, funniest thing I've heard for ages.


13th Oct 2006, 14:46
I usually just ask them kindly to hang-on for a couple of moments, then place the receiver next to the (switched-on) radio.
Works for me . . .

Alternatively, pretend to be Forrest Gump. They really don't know how to deal with unfettered stupidity. Ask them to REPEAT themselves etc etc