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airyana
5th Oct 2006, 05:39
Only in America.
Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.
Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke
Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
Ever Wonder . . .
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98..., you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructionson consumer goods.
On a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time
I have to work on my hair).
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well..., a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." (We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains
nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)copied from a Fwd. email msg, signed by someone called jeff <-- :D

airyana
5th Oct 2006, 17:41
so dont you have answers to some of the questions raised here ?

Jerricho
5th Oct 2006, 18:12
As you rightly point out, the following are not "only in America"...............


Only in America.
Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke
Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

airyana
7th Oct 2006, 15:41
I was expecting this thread to be more successful .. .. .. :bored:

G-CPTN
7th Oct 2006, 15:46
Maybe it's a fatigue thing?
(Seen it all before . . . . )

The Search function is your friend.

airyana
7th Oct 2006, 16:45
so thats why :rolleyes:

airyana
8th Oct 2006, 14:12
A man and his son are in a car accident.
The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital.
When he arrives the surgeon says,
"I can't operate on this boy, he is my son!" How can this be?
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Ans: The surgeon was his mother

airyana
19th Oct 2006, 10:09
A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, jumper, gloves and balaclava.
He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off.
A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

Sailor Vee
19th Oct 2006, 10:24
It was during the daytime, perchance?

bar fly
19th Oct 2006, 10:30
Daylight. :eek:

airyana
19th Oct 2006, 12:37
yes it was, Sailor Vee, you are todays clever trousers :D

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
19th Oct 2006, 12:55
was he also wearing black stockings and a black susspender belt ?

airyana
19th Oct 2006, 12:57
possibly . . . do you ?

airyana
22nd Oct 2006, 14:00
stand
------- ?
i


0
------- ?
M.D
Ph.D


ecnalg ?

redsnail
22nd Oct 2006, 15:19
I understand

2 degrees below zero

backward glance

tony draper
22nd Oct 2006, 16:06
Right then, which is the odd number out
7, 19, 26, 54, 82.
:cool:

Sailor Vee
22nd Oct 2006, 16:44
19, if you add the others you get the sequence 7,8,9 and 10?

tony draper
22nd Oct 2006, 17:20
Nah! tiz the number 54 of course, tiz the only one that doesn't go along Coatsworth Road and stop at the Honeysuckle.
:rolleyes:

Sailor Vee
22nd Oct 2006, 18:30
Thought mine was better :p

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
22nd Oct 2006, 19:26
19 - because it's the only one that describes a sex act :ok:

LJ.543
22nd Oct 2006, 19:45
Go on, I'll ask even if no one else does - what's a number 19?

LJ

tony draper
22nd Oct 2006, 20:04
Its a single decker bus as opposed to a double decker. used to be the number 18 but they changed it, bus numbers are a bit of a mystery.
:rolleyes:
Though it was the ladies who did all the acting during sex Mr aaaghhh.:E

Sailor Vee
22nd Oct 2006, 20:17
Does anyone else detect a fred drift here?

Lon More
22nd Oct 2006, 20:45
19 - because it's the only one that describes a sex act

You must have had a very sheltered upbringing then?:)

frostbite
22nd Oct 2006, 20:55
Back to America (well almost)...

Recall, during the time of Pamela Anderson/Baywatch, residents of a Scottish village were alleged to refer to their 42D bus as 'The Pammy'.

LJ.543
22nd Oct 2006, 22:40
Still doesn't tell me which sex act is a number 19.

:confused: :(

LJ

Fliegenmong
23rd Oct 2006, 05:04
Like 69 but one party is in traction? Or comatose?:}

Huck
23rd Oct 2006, 05:27
What did the Chinese girl say when her boyfriend asked for some "69"?

"I'm not getting out of bed to make you General Tso chicken!"

Buster Hyman
23rd Oct 2006, 07:10
19 is like a 69, only solo...the participant is very well endowed.:} :ouch: :suspect:

Lon More
23rd Oct 2006, 07:20
19 is like a 69, only solo
Always fancied myself, but never got round to it.:\

LJ.543
24th Oct 2006, 00:24
Awell, another small part of my education completed although I'm beginning to wish that I hadn't asked !!

LJ

airyana
28th Oct 2006, 20:05
Steve, a party magician, is carrying three pieces of gold each piece weighing one kilogram.
On the way to a session he comes to a bridge which has a sign posted saying the bridge could hold only a maximum of 80 kilograms.
Steve weighs 78 kilograms and the gold weighs three kilograms.
He reads the sign and still safely crossed the bridge with all the gold.
How did he manage this?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
28th Oct 2006, 20:08
He threw the sign in the river, thus increasing the weight limit on the bridge :8

He juggled as he walked across

He relied on the fact that is was a design limit, not an absolute limit

He threw one of the pieces ahead of him

He put the gold on a conveyor belt

He took a massive shit :ok:

airyana
28th Oct 2006, 20:34
right this ones for you Aaargh!

what number should replace the question mark ?

2 -- 12 -- 5 1/4 (five and 1 over 4) -- 9 3/4 -- 8 1/2 -- 7 1/2 -- ?

answer: 11 3/4.

there are two series: (3 1/4) gives: 2 -- 5 1/4 -- 8 1/2 -- 11 3/4

(-2 1/4) gives: 12 -- 9 3/4 -- 7 1/2

Podunk
29th Oct 2006, 02:16
What's the next sequence?
8
1 8
1 1 1 8
3 1 1 8
1 3 2 1 1 8
1 1 1 3 1 2 2 1 1 8
3 1 1 3 1 1 2 2 2 1 1 8
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
easy?

Hint:
1 3 _ _ _ _ _ _ 3 2 _ _ 1 8


Why is 77 better than 69?
Must be a US Southern Belle to answer........
It's because 69, as nice as it is........ you get "ate" more with 77

airyana
29th Oct 2006, 15:10
which word will carry on the sequence?

BABBLE, EMBOSS, SHEKEL, LOVING, GUIDER, RINGED, ?

a) CHUBBY
b) GUILTY
c) HOURLY
d) HINGED
e) DIVEST
f) IMPUGN

green granite
29th Oct 2006, 15:42
DIVEST ............... :hmm:

airyana
29th Oct 2006, 17:33
Correct.:D

and the reason of course is that every word starts with the last letter in the word preceding it.

more coming soon ...

airyana
29th Oct 2006, 19:50
I am nine letters long : 123456789

My first four "1234" is to recognize.

My last five "56789" is a ridge.

My last four "6789" is a boundary.

What am I ?

Podunk
29th Oct 2006, 22:44
I would think that "anyone" who is - KNOWLEDGE -able could answer this one!

Perhaps the next clue about numbers " 3 4 5 " being an agile night hunter, would have made it easier?

airyana
30th Oct 2006, 12:35
:D you're right.

--------------------------

which day is two days before the day after the day three days after the day before Tuesday ?

airyana
31st Oct 2006, 16:48
maybe this will help.

which day is two days before the day after the day three days after the day before Tuesday ?


Saterday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday

airyana
31st Oct 2006, 19:29
ok guys, no one seems to like this question, i know that when you first read it, it seems like a silly question,a waste of time, the question maybe silly but its the way in which its answered that is useful, many similar questions pop up in interviews etc..

most people tend to take the long way round it, however if you do this:

which day is two days before the day after the day three days after the day before Tuesday ?

which day is two days before = ( -2 )

the day after = ( +1 )

the day three days after = ( +3)

the day before Tuesday ? = ( -1 )

-2 + 1 + 3 - 1 = +1

i.e. Wednesday.

Paladini
1st Nov 2006, 17:55
What's the next sequence?
8
1 8
1 1 1 8
3 1 1 8
1 3 2 1 1 8
1 1 1 3 1 2 2 1 1 8
3 1 1 3 1 1 2 2 2 1 1 8
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


of course, it's : 1 3 2 1 1 3 2 1 3 2 2 1 1 8

can't any of you count integers?

the next BTW is: 1x1... 1x3 ...1x2... 2x1s... 1x3 ...1x2 ...1x1... 1x3... 2x2s ...2x1s... and 1x8 :D

airyana
2nd Nov 2006, 12:18
How many teams of 11 players can be selected from 15 members ?

airyana
3rd Nov 2006, 13:57
15x14x13x12x11x10x9x8x7x6x5
----------------------------------------- = 1365
1x2x3x4x5x6x7x8x9x10x11