View Full Version : Anyone for a game of Mornington Crescent?

Dirty Mach
15th Aug 2006, 00:28
I'll start us off with paddington

15th Aug 2006, 00:29
Tulse Hill.

15th Aug 2006, 06:00
I think Twotter is still in Knid.

Anyone for the shuffle?

Dollis Hill

15th Aug 2006, 11:17
Oh, please God no, not again.
Will someone explain the rules at least.
It makes me feel like a complete dullard reading it with a furrowed brow.
I may be stupid, but I'm not thick.


Solid Rust Twotter
15th Aug 2006, 11:23
Obviously you haven't been privy to the latest update of Thistlewick's Compendium. Try advertising for a copy as I think most were sold out within hours.

Canada Water

15th Aug 2006, 11:23
I would just join in Foss, you'll pick up the rules as you go I should think. Although the Tulse Hill enjoinment from 1982 does trip up new players so keep an eye out for it. Personally I think CPTN has showed his hand a bit early on that side of things.

Bank. if we're heading out of Dollis Hill. That's still ok for this set of rules innit?

15th Aug 2006, 11:40
There are no rules, except the ones made up as you go along and made to sound like they are rules. It is based on the game played on BBC Radio 4's programme I'm Sorry I Haven't Got a Clue. An allegedly humorous programme, who's humour is rather antiquated and relies on word play and puns.

It is mildly amusing once, but like the Qantas Engineers glitch list or lighthouse vs. the USA Aircraft Carrier story best left alone after the first couple of times.

15th Aug 2006, 18:34
Alright.. I'll try



15th Aug 2006, 18:44
Hmmmmmm, I believe bfss is tryting the confustication tactic on Foss, really not fair with new rollers!

However I must challenge that move Foss, under the 1943 Morgate ruling and ask you to return directly to your starting station!

Now then, I believe a Jubilee Park rolling sweep manouver is called for!!!

Of course that means I have to call on the "defunct station" ruling of 1987, and I call Bull and Bush!

B Fraser
15th Aug 2006, 18:48
The reverse double shunt gives Kensington High Street

15th Aug 2006, 18:51
Dollis Hill

15th Aug 2006, 18:55
Ooh, nice moves!

now then, if I employ a variant of the Kings Road wobble, with a snifter shift, I think that gives me...

Oh yes of course, this is a stunner!

Walford East!!!

Chesty Morgan
15th Aug 2006, 19:01
Dollis Hill:ugh:

15th Aug 2006, 19:03
My my, Dollis Hill is a veritable Piccadilly Circus this evening!

16th Aug 2006, 06:21
Dollis Hill

A word to the wise, remember that today (here in Niger at least) is Thursday. No fire-raising please.

16th Aug 2006, 10:13
Truly, an interesting ploy. dare I say? However, by utilisation of the 1924 Variation of the Wallisum e Gromiti Strategem, I see your Dollis Hill and raise you:


Chesty Morgan
16th Aug 2006, 11:35
Dollis Hill........God Dammit:ugh:

Mr Lexx
16th Aug 2006, 11:58
After a day deciding whether to unleash it, I have decided to use the hammersmith Junk and name


16th Aug 2006, 13:05
Following the ruling in schedule 4 of the 1947 East London MC treaty, you can't go to Dollis Hill from Whitechapel twice in a single game.

So, breaking the cycle:

The Strand

Doors to Automatic
16th Aug 2006, 16:57
I'd like to invoke the famous "Finsbury Rules" at this point:

Edgeware Road

16th Aug 2006, 17:09
What a stunning game this is turning in to!

I would like to call on the infamous black rod strategy from the very roots of the game back in the deepest darkest depths of time and call Parliament Square!

16th Aug 2006, 19:19
For pity's sake, hasn't anyone noticed that bus lanes are wild?

So . . London Bridge

16th Aug 2006, 20:07
Crikey, that seems like an unconventional move, even by Australian Rules. I'm going to assume that the secondary oblique is blocked on the lower diagonal.

I believe that means I can invoke International Olympic Convention Rules. That tempts me to do something daring and bold, dangerous even.

But what the heck, right now I'll just stick with foolish: West Ham.

16th Aug 2006, 20:30
But what the heck, right now I'll just stick with foolish: West Ham

Foolish is the word.

Mornington Crescent!

To make life easy for you lot, I'll start a new round with Bank.

16th Aug 2006, 23:59
Oh nuts, you beat me to it! Such a rudimentary mistake HW!

Ho hum, I'll use a reversal of the "original doodlebug defence", most notable for its complete lack of originality, or indeed any possible link to doodlebugs, and sieze the 52nd oblique parallel.

Kings Cross!!!!!

Have at you you blackguards and scoundrels!

Howard Hughes
17th Aug 2006, 01:48
Oh can I play please????

Tottenham Court Road:ooh:

17th Aug 2006, 07:43
Queens Passage

17th Aug 2006, 08:07
It seems no-one has fully realised the impact of the Congestion Charge on this game which has obviously had the effect of completely re-writing the Rule Book (after all these years). Moves which at one time would have been described as subtle and elegant can now only be described as the work of ignorant chavs attempting to play MC in the hope it will bestow upon them the same perception of style and grace that wearing Burberry does.

Come on guys and gals, the world has changed.

Mile End.

17th Aug 2006, 09:22
Since I'm still a learner, I'll try Stepney Green (horn)

17th Aug 2006, 09:26
Using the Rook to Queen Four Gambit,

Leicester Square

17th Aug 2006, 09:30
Using the Impressionist theory
Green Park

17th Aug 2006, 11:22
I'm more a Renaissance man myself.

East Putney

That puts stations west of Hammersmith Broadway out of bounds, i think?

17th Aug 2006, 11:32
East Putney is miles away from anywhere, probably for good reason.
I'm going to buy a sheep and go to meet some Aussie at

Earl's Court

17th Aug 2006, 11:42
And if you don't mind me coming from behind you again, Foss (if you'll pardon the expression!)

Chiswick Park

17th Aug 2006, 11:50
I feel like a bit more of international travel, so I'll see if there's any oirish at

Boston manor


17th Aug 2006, 12:19
Nearly called you out of bounds there Beetle - but hurriedly remembered the Ulumbataar convention of 1947 which specifically excludes Chiswick from the above rule. Nice move, if I may say so. :ok:

Anyone for Cricket?


17th Aug 2006, 16:14
Nice of you to say so, Bob! I had all but forgotten that ole 1947 Ulumbataar Convention! Gosh how time flies! Still, moving on, by the power invested in me by the 1963 Investiture de Nasalli di Pinnochio ,

Edgeware Road

17th Aug 2006, 19:03
A HA!!!

I believe that, by the extension of the 1963 Investiture de Nasalli di Pinnochio, relating to specificity of likelihood, that move is indeed controversial!

However, it suits my ends so I'll refrain from a challenge at this time.

Now according to the rare pamplemousse extrapolation, I shall call

Hampton Court

Romeo Charlie
17th Aug 2006, 20:07
If I'm not mistaken I can apply Fosbergers 4th Law and move directly to


17th Aug 2006, 20:07
Now according to the rare pamplemousse extrapolation, I shall call

I remember my old dad teaching me about the pamplemousse extrapolation. 'Nothing like giving them an extended dose of grape(fruit) shot', he would say. Made dreadful puns my old dad, but he was a mean Mornington Crescent player - never bought his round, even when it was his turn.


Evening Star
17th Aug 2006, 22:10
Deary deary me, what a mixed bag of moves so far. Really needs a West Finchley to separate out the top class play.:E :D

17th Aug 2006, 22:32
Time, I think, to utilise some more modern strategy!

According to the Schwannheimer protocol of 1980!


And gou, you are right, he DID make terrible puns!

Sometimes I wish I'd listened to what my mother said!

Evening Star
17th Aug 2006, 22:41
That is more like it, even if I do not approve of these modern flashy strategies! And, with due deference while trying hard to keep things at the polite level one associates with the gentlemanly decorum expected from practitioners of MC, Schwannheimer was a bit of an idiot. There, I said it.

Anyway, with the late hour I will play Lancaster Gate as what will probably be the UK placeholder and see what the cousins and antipodeans do with that.

18th Aug 2006, 09:19
It seems it's quite easy to stump these Antipodeans, ES, for what is pretty straightforward next move.

St Pauls

18th Aug 2006, 10:36
If we're going to get all religous, I'll have to consult the the family bible and head to


18th Aug 2006, 10:46
Ah ha - trapped!!

The McCreadie protocol of 1964, ratified by the Grand Committee meeting in Basle of that year means I can play

Shields Road (on the Glasgow Metro) - so Stitch that !!

18th Aug 2006, 20:15
Hmm, didn't realise we were allowing the Celtic variants in this end!

Saint Johns Wood

18th Aug 2006, 23:06
So applying the Von-Voight Connundrum, therefore making Taxi's wild,


(A risky move, I'll grant, but I'm new to this)

18th Aug 2006, 23:09
Ah, the VVC, nice call!

Does rather open up a sequence invented in the very first days of the game by my great great grandfather, the Hooks hook, giving me

Wimbledon, Putney Bridge AND Ealing Broadway!

Doors to Automatic
18th Aug 2006, 23:21
I shudder to think what the significance of such an outrageous and unorthodox move at this critical stage in the game would be but what the hell, you only live once:

Heathrow Terminal 5

18th Aug 2006, 23:41
Aaaagh, right now you could be stuck there for WEEKS!!!

Now then, courting controversy once more.

South Kensington

19th Aug 2006, 08:16
Clapham South

19th Aug 2006, 16:35
Clapham South ? I'm sure that's illegal after the Ilasmorada debate of 1964.

So, making use of the relaxed clamping rules and avoiding the low level bridge ...

Hanger Lane

19th Aug 2006, 17:04
Gizmocat, a most excellent move : my condolences to the others attempting to keep up. Per Ardua ad Astra "through hard work to the stars" Therefore NORTHHOLT

19th Aug 2006, 17:59
And there was me thinking Per Ardua Ad Astra was the chav mantra, meaning "I love my small family saloon Vauxhall motor car!"

But I digress.

According to the 2005 International MC Congress, the implementation of the congestion charge opens a whole new dimension. I will refer to article 732 of above congress for my next move!

Southwark :D :D :D

19th Aug 2006, 20:57
Nothing for it now than to apply the oblique version of the John Betjeman 'Metroland' variation

... Eastcote

Doors to Automatic
19th Aug 2006, 22:13
What a move! the only possible response under these circumstances would be:

Turnham Green

19th Aug 2006, 22:48
But you forgot the Loxley caveat!! Surely that is Morni.... No, damnit, it's merely Cockfosters ...... curses!

19th Aug 2006, 23:16
cockfosters? back a few steps for the old faithful Moneyspinners, and Bank.

19th Aug 2006, 23:19
A HA!!!

You seem to have forgotten the "forgotten ruling" from the 1976 International Congress!!


Wow, what a game that was!

I shall enjoin the next game commencing at


19th Aug 2006, 23:33
Forgotten ruling?


Fie upon you Mister Hooks! I declare your Crescent call nullified as there are reasons rules are declared as forgotten!

You really are a true digger of the Collinsworth Bible of MC, for the ruling does indeed rear its ugly head in chapter 45, section c, paragraph, line 22.

However, if you had kept your MC literature in date as far as 2003, as required by the Bilaterally International Laws of Using Thine Head (which govern competition matchs) You would have noticed that the 1976 Congress is listed within Appendix 4: A list of Declarations Unopposed by a Majority as Forgotten & Unworkable Citations (list of DUMFUCs). It's there as number 438 Forgotten. and, as the introduction states "all forgotten rules are null and void when an attempt is made on Mornington Crescent


Waterloo is still valid from bank, though.

19th Aug 2006, 23:45
I protest nfet, if you had bothered to consult a little further, in appendix 348 of the aforementioned document, you will note that all even numbered "forgotten rulings" are in fact perfectly valid when used on a Saturday in a month with a U in the name!

19th Aug 2006, 23:54
oh no hooks, You didn't got your book by mail order did you? I'm looking at the document as I type, borrowed from the Royal Society of Mornington Crescent Canon Keepers. On this version (C 2003) the paragraph you mention says nothing more than "all players must be clearly understood at all times if game is spoken, or if typed must not be in txtspeek."

I fear you have been scammed. There is a cell of illegal MC rule printing presses in various Third World Countries, and my e-mail has been inundated with promises of "rules to beat any play" or "always be three moves from victory!" "stiffen your MC game!" "MC larger success rates!" etc etc. these books are nothing more than one and a half grand's worth of expensive toilet paper I'm afraid.

19th Aug 2006, 23:57
But surely the Brindisi amendment (conference day 2) declared the 'u' ruling as only applicable in a leap year? If not, then it's clearly Tottenham Hale

20th Aug 2006, 14:19
The little known Captain Mannering's Warmington March diversion manouvre.

Turnpike Lane

20th Aug 2006, 14:47
NFET, as a new exponent of this Gentlemanly game, I have recently studied the Brindisi amendment, and therefore must uphold Hooks claim. It must be noted that, whilst the 'U' rule (day 2, as quoted correctly by EM, indeed is only applicable in a leap-year), however, annexe 754 of day 3 negates the rule for years ending in a 6.

Obviously, I bow to the superior knowledge of the MC Masters here, and if proved wrong, and the game continues, will play...

Green Park

20th Aug 2006, 17:44
Arse'nall (as it is affectionately known).

21st Aug 2006, 07:19
It must be noted that, whilst the 'U' rule (day 2, as quoted correctly by EM, indeed is only applicable in a leap-year), however, annexe 754 of day 3 negates the rule for years ending in a 6.

Excellent research but it's leap years ending in a 6!

I hesitate to play this... well, sorry... West Harrow

21st Aug 2006, 20:53
Bu:mad: er bu:mad: er bu:mad: er!!!

In that case, accordingly with the old publicarians doctrine I claim Windsor!

21st Aug 2006, 22:05
Good God, man, don't you even understand the offside rule! You must have seen the flag.

Turnham Green -- and be thankful you got off so lightly.

Scroll Lock
21st Aug 2006, 22:21

Haven't a clue what the rules are!!

21st Aug 2006, 22:30
Barnet ????

Are you mad ???

We're going to have to start seeding matches if this sort of nonsense is going on. The Chinamens Rankings are going to have to be pulled out again.

Speaking of which - Gerrard Street.

21st Aug 2006, 22:38

And some transcripts:-

22nd Aug 2006, 07:32
Right then, I'll double reverse to Uxbridge Road

Solid Rust Twotter
22nd Aug 2006, 07:38
Nunaqat Imperative to

Hampton Court

22nd Aug 2006, 18:49
Aaaaagh, you gave away the rules cap'n, they'll all be at it now!!!

I believe from Hampton Court I can move to page 7 and name Hampton Wick

Romeo Charlie
22nd Aug 2006, 19:26
Hmmm............. *thinks* .............Maida V........... no................... ah!........... Putn......... nope.................. hmmmmmmmmm.................... what about Nunhe....... damnit............. aha, got it;


22nd Aug 2006, 21:34
A cunning snickle, but that lets me take


22nd Aug 2006, 21:37
Taking Black friars eh? snigger snigger!

An interestive, if slightly retrogade step.

From there I move to Hampstead Heath!

23rd Aug 2006, 03:11
I've got to refer to the 1889 classic "Handbook[...]" by Leipsic Karl Baedeker, and posit St Pancras.

23rd Aug 2006, 19:14
I refuse, refuse, to follow new (and bogus) rules published on a nurd's website. I will continue traditionally (afficionados will be with me here) and posit:

Rayners Lane


23rd Aug 2006, 19:37
Hear hear EM, what gives some jumped up little nerd the right to dictate to us over the rules of the beautiful game???

Raynes Park

Chesty Morgan
23rd Aug 2006, 19:54
Ahem! If one may take a second to play the Pedants Prerogative I think you'll find the next move should have been

Marble Arch


23rd Aug 2006, 19:59
I think you may have your interpretations a little mixed up chesty. Without wishing to be pedantic, the pedants perogative applies strictly to moves FROM Raynes Park, not TOO it!

You are entirely correct that the accepted preferred following hop from Raynes park is Marble Arch however!

To continue the alliterative vein, I will avail myself of the services of that old favourite, the kings konundrum.


23rd Aug 2006, 20:05
Boring I know, but standard rules (no Nid) it must be Gidea Park (do NOT repeat NOT try to invoke the Revised Presbetyrian Reverse following Gidea Park - think two moves ahead and you will see what I mean)

Solid Rust Twotter
23rd Aug 2006, 20:10
Snortfiddler's Longitudinal Retreat to


BTW, nice use of the Dortmund Convocated Extrapolation, Mr Hooks.

23rd Aug 2006, 20:17
Why thankyou SRT, and I thought it had slipped by unnoticed!

Now I believe the ORIGINAL Presbytarian Reverse can be invocated quite safely in this situation! The revision was something of a pigs ear really!

Tottenham Court Road

23rd Aug 2006, 20:19
Masterful, Hooks old bean, and the snortfiddler ... well, it's a pleasure to be in the Company of such Masters. I can only offer the humble, but nevertheless considered, Arnos Grove

Chesty Morgan
23rd Aug 2006, 20:19
Only if it's followed by a Decreasing Omni Beltrain...err...which it is!


23rd Aug 2006, 20:22
Ah, I believe we are back on well established ground here!

Now then...




Oh bugger, the 133rd parallel reinstatement ruling applies after that sequence, and I thought I had it there!

Oh well, boring old St Johns Wood

Evening Star
23rd Aug 2006, 20:23
And using my favourite double shunt we end up at:


If we hold our nerve I predict MC within five moves.

Chesty Morgan
23rd Aug 2006, 20:24
You could've had it in 2 Mr Hooks. By playing a Thrumming backstopper

A humble
All Saints

Solid Rust Twotter
23rd Aug 2006, 20:25
Quite masterful...

The only possible riposte is Thrappwater's Sequential Shuffle as played in the great 1927 encounter between Hargreaves and von Belchstein at the Krakow Synod...

Dagenham Heathway

Evening Star
23rd Aug 2006, 20:30

Sloane Square

Romeo Charlie
23rd Aug 2006, 21:08
Oh well played sir!


23rd Aug 2006, 21:10
I sense a victory for someone soon,

Thripple Quadric to

Seven Sisters

23rd Aug 2006, 21:18
Mmmm, Seven Sisters...

But I digress...

I do detect a faint whiff of victory in the air.

Now then, following on from the excellent use of the thripple play...


Evening Star
23rd Aug 2006, 21:20
Tricky, tricky, but I think a Fothering-Thomas crossover allows me to declare Mornington Crescent at the end of a superb piece of play. Gentlemen, that final run to the finish showed some truly awe inspiring play from all of us.:D

23rd Aug 2006, 21:21
Victory is very very close .. but tantalisingly elusive because of the heterodox nature of MC .... but if there is truly subtle payer here, Goodge Street will bring a conclusion within a footstep.

...30 secs later - Brilliant! straight to the kill without the laterality concept!

I start us again with ... well, Goodge Street

Chesty Morgan
23rd Aug 2006, 21:27
Hold up chaps! Having referred to Samantha's 15 volume I've discovered this little gem.

A Gasfingered Salute with Digital Ignition (Phark and Trotter et al. 1985) which negates a move to Mornington Crescent on a Wednesday in a year ending in December.

Thereby leaving me with but one option...


Damn Earthmovers stealth edit has screwed that!!!

Uh oh!

Evening Star
23rd Aug 2006, 21:32
Damn Earthmovers stealth edit has screwed that!!!

I say old bean, there is some dashed clever stuff being played this evening. You play Aldgate almost casually but true connoisseurs of the game will recognise the subtlety inherent in that move. This needs a Bond Street.

23rd Aug 2006, 21:32
Well done ES :ok:

...and back now after my keyboard batteries ran ou, I see the only move is


Romeo Charlie
23rd Aug 2006, 21:36
Would a Throckmorton's Circumnavigation be too cheeky........?

New Cross Gate

23rd Aug 2006, 21:38
Far too cheeky, but it lets me in with Waterloo

Chesty Morgan
23rd Aug 2006, 21:38
Bravo, I see we're playing with the heavy hitters tonight.:ok:

A Defensive Stagnation should keep me going for a while


23rd Aug 2006, 21:42


Romeo Charlie
23rd Aug 2006, 21:43
Hendon? After Barking? You might want to reconsider wth reference to Parnell's Stratogem (1933)......

23rd Aug 2006, 21:44
Hendon? After Barking? You might want to reconsider wth reference to Parnell's Stratogem (1933)......

I think not, that's not really relevant at this juncture!

23rd Aug 2006, 21:48
I agree, and just after the start of a new game... as well !

I'll tramp then, to

Surrey Keys

Solid Rust Twotter
23rd Aug 2006, 22:24
A move much favoured by Ms Hortense Smedley-Crotchripper-Smedley during her short sojourn in the Antipodes is the Molestrangler Adjunct. Thus...


23rd Aug 2006, 23:41
Scottish rules for that I see .. but neat, neat I admit - and opens a little portal for Hackney Central as I retire for the night

Solid Rust Twotter
24th Aug 2006, 18:57
Cunning ploy, Mr Mover...

The subtle approach to knid would have gone undetected had one not mentioned the Scottish Rules which brought to mind the great bout between Herr Gunther von und zu Strasheim and Sir William Phipps-Kneebiter in 1938, which played some part in the commencement of the ensuing hostilities. However, with Ratzenberger Protocols in play and the weather being overcast in portions of the Southern Hemisphere, it appears your flank has been exposed to spoon in three moves unless avoiding action is taken.


24th Aug 2006, 20:31
He has no chance Mr Twotter, especially if you employ a Durksteim Parry.
One is too sober for this so
Great Portland Street

24th Aug 2006, 21:01
Subtle ... but with a dash of bravado. Mr SRT and LordGrumpy could it be that you refer to Scottish expatriot rules? The document before me was typed in Fort William in August 1944 and refers to home play only - the 1938 was trounced by '44 I'm afraid. But you are in part correct I am exposed to spoon in 3 moves - but not owing to Ratzenberger. But after this: Latimer Road I am I declare, secure. eh? eh?

EM must ply the airways for a while, so the best of good fortune.

Solid Rust Twotter
24th Aug 2006, 21:06
Fine play, your Lordship. The Durksteim is a much underrated maneouvre, lacking the brute force of the Codlip-Thurkington Reversal, it remains a genteel move on the surface with deadly subtlety lurking beneath. The Montevideo Convocation of 1955 demands a swift excision of the offending sub line with a move to

Finchley Road

John Prescott
24th Aug 2006, 22:32
Ah Herr Twotter!!!

One has not taunted you for quite some time now, hows the creel notations coming on? One eagerly awaits the publishing of chapter 47-h of your recollections of a New years day on Dollis hill also.

A quick shufty up to Hendon may jog your memory!

Note the exceptional use of the old salty seadog with a full phoenix gambit there:)

Solid Rust Twotter
25th Aug 2006, 07:10
Good day, Mr Prescott. One's notations are proceeding at an orderly pace and new evidence has been found of skullduggery on the part of those who colluded to impart a lateral moment to the prevailing order of play. Mr Cribbins will be in contact shortly. However, one will continue to

Heron Quays

...and hope similar underhanded means of manipulating the outcome have been shelved. Unfortunately there is space for only a single one of your luxury conveyances at that location...:E

John Prescott
25th Aug 2006, 07:20
Oh dear Herr Twotter, one surely hopes that whilst one swallowed that thesaurus the words...''Bloomfontein'' ''frockbuttom'' and ''Earls court'' were satisfactorily digested!

My apologies for the sledgehammer/peanut strategum here but one does have to make a re-entry with a certain degree of panache and decorum,does'nt one?

Salutations Mr Star and Lt Grumpy:)

Evening Star
25th Aug 2006, 17:58
Errr ... salutations!

Was somewhat a sledgehammer/nut approach, but it worked. Needs a move to Notting Hill Gate I would say.

Solid Rust Twotter
25th Aug 2006, 20:29
One would hesitate to accuse one of attempting a Helsinki Pickup, Mr Star. Nevertheless, the adherence to earlier versions of the Turtletaub Protocol before the addition of the Philippolis Addenda of 1937 at a line Nv of less than 33% leads one to believe this may be the case. One applauds one's subtlety but the rebuke lies in the belief it would work in conjunction with a Levinsohn Rotation to


25th Aug 2006, 22:53
So the doctrine has finally been disavowed. There is no further case for subtlety. So in the immortal words of oscar wilde on his deathbed, 'either this wallpaper goes or I go' .

26th Aug 2006, 14:10
Tripple thrip to Preston Road

John Prescott
27th Aug 2006, 06:07
Easily thwarted with a full Gilbert to...

Burnt Oak.

This could easily biffurcate if the bank holiday rules are anything to go by...:}

Solid Rust Twotter
27th Aug 2006, 08:50
Reverse Gothic to


Evening Star
27th Aug 2006, 09:11
Double Reverse Gothic :E (and SRT, you knew it could happen as well):

Manor House

27th Aug 2006, 09:29
I have seen MC plays, that demand use of snake handling tongs, deft and lightning fast reactions. This august machavellian tactic of Evening Star deserves praise: For myself any move will appear cumbersome but I do possess some gumption.
Squire Greenhorns dabble.
Woodside Park

Solid Rust Twotter
27th Aug 2006, 10:27
The infamous Dabble at this hour, your Lordship? 'Tis rarely seen before noon. The last great confrontation in 1967 in Budapest with a Dabble before noon led to Mrs Smethwick losing her unmentionables in the great fire that followed the explosion at the marmalade factory. One will retire to one's bunker after playing


John Prescott
29th Aug 2006, 06:31
One suspects 'line tampering'!

Recent events at IMCC level have even influenced cricket one notes.Only last night Major Heptonsall Brown of Sabden did the honourable thing by locking himself in his library with his trusty corkscrew bottle opener.His opponant has yet to witness the results as he is still pontificating over the thrice-creel symposium adjunct that was cited as authority for a Throgmorton's hydra.


Heads up Twotter:=

29th Aug 2006, 06:52
A somewhat foolish move there, but then what more could one expect from a member of the current government?

I shall, I think, employ the "twin Panthera Onca" ruse, and head directly to Parliament square, stopping on the way for a pint or ten of liquid refreshment!

John Prescott
29th Aug 2006, 07:00
Easily countered with a Guido Fawkes nose powderer...

Traitor's gate

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Aug 2006, 07:05
A lightning riposte utilising the Stromfield Concurrence to

Canada Water

John Prescott
29th Aug 2006, 07:30
Bleddy hell Twotter!!
Steady on old chap..

It's barely 9am (in the correct hemisphere) and you play a move such as that!

Behold my Quadrantal diaspora...

Notting Hill

Golf-zero-two...plus two.

Cake state mahoosive.

29th Aug 2006, 09:30
Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once; Apropos le glooble weeming avec de congestion cheege, ve now av to use otheer transpoot. You can therefore use le bicyclettes oveer at

Belsize Park

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Aug 2006, 11:53
Play appears to be set fair for a von Loewenstein Sequence and it would be a shame to disrupt it, thus


29th Aug 2006, 15:11
I note your sarcasm so I must now employ my Morton's Syndrome, 'tis only a pain in the foot but I'll have to repair post haste to

Clapham Common

29th Aug 2006, 15:17
Crossharbour eh Twotter, a famous retaliation used by the long distance running shipping magnate; Lord Plimsole at the Charmouth Championships in 1930.
Keeping to the nautical ploy West India Quay

I must now employ my Morton's Syndrome,
Actually that is a condition of the foot but it is Morton's Neuroma

29th Aug 2006, 15:52
Morton of Morton's Syndrome is related to Morton of Morton's Neuroma and at one time both resided in a Whittlesea public house, namely the Morton's Fork. Following the pain in the foot they both moved to Heron Quays. But I know you knew that anyway.

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Aug 2006, 18:56

Cunning, yet not as sophisticated as the potential would suggest among so august a gathering of MC aficionados. Nevertheless, Renwicke's Spatial Disbarment to

Putney Bridge

29th Aug 2006, 22:53
Two quays and a bridge with spatial disbarment, therefore allows me to use Flitwicks Quandry and move out to

North Woolwich

Solid Rust Twotter
30th Aug 2006, 06:01
...And a Lichinski Sweep to bump up the line velocity gives us

Chalfont & Latimer

John Prescott
30th Aug 2006, 06:10
Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once; Apropos le glooble weeming avec de congestion cheege, ve now av to use otheer transpoot. You can therefore use le bicyclettes oveer at

One presumes you are aware that the language of 'ahem...french holds no recognition in any MC society,or indeed any self respecting society.

Barnes-wallace minimums gives us a DH of...

Shepherd's bush.

30th Aug 2006, 14:02
OK, many appolojettycals, I'm just going with my tail between my logs to sloop off to

Kew Gardens

Solid Rust Twotter
30th Aug 2006, 14:33
Lady Sybil Anthrax always swore by sprigs of thyme tucked into her garters to ward off the gout, Mr Basher. In her younger days she was a proponent of the Postlethwaite school of MC as opposed to the more traditional Cribbins school of play. With that in mind, one will play a Restricted Fandango Shuffle to

Belsize Park

30th Aug 2006, 14:42
I will make one move and one move only.

It will strike fear into the hearts of some of the more seasoned players of the PPrune MC game - SRT will know exactly what I mean.

Dollis Hill

30th Aug 2006, 15:06
I will make one move and one move only.

It will strike fear into the hearts of some of the more seasoned players of the PPrune MC game - SRT will know exactly what I mean.

Dollis Hill

Panda, vas ist diese Dollis Hill und vas ist diese "fear"? I look jetz at meine cunning linguist dictionthaurus und ..............ah, hier est ist

Fairlop Maybe zat vill block your passage

30th Aug 2006, 15:47


30th Aug 2006, 19:37
The application of an epitrochoidal feature on the piston crown certainly facilitates increased combustion, so


John Prescott
31st Aug 2006, 06:25
One has bailed Twotter out of DH many times before.

Behold this Worsthorne slant on a full hasselhoff...

Catch that billtong as you gasp out in horror Twotter-its Creelsville...population...you!:=

Solid Rust Twotter
31st Aug 2006, 07:32
Exhaust fumes from multiple conveyances affecting your perception of reality, Mr Prescott?

Easily avoided with a McNulty Half Twist Sidestep to

Earl's Court

31st Aug 2006, 08:40
Easily avoided with a McNulty Half Twist Sidestep

That is an essential manouvre to have in one's resource. The trouble now being that it may not be used again until January 29th 2030 {Umpires decision in match of Lord Plimsole v Saltmarsh at the Charmouth Championships in 1930 } One hundred year rule.

Hardy & Nelsons tack to Bermondsey

Solid Rust Twotter
31st Aug 2006, 08:55
One was under the impression that the 100 Year Rule had been rescinded as the original reason for the limitation was that it frightened the horses. As it appears Mr Prescott is no longer a donkey walloper but has purchased two kitties instead, the limitation should not apply. Of course the final ruling lies with Mrs Cribbits.

One must admit the move did startle a pair of Girl Guides and the descriptive language used by them was enlightening to say the least.

Nevertheless, one shall play

Turnham Green

31st Aug 2006, 17:18
Note same girlie guides complete with swashbuckles and girdered loinslops are now a'waiting to have said loins fully nurdled at the side of the Drax dig, many are under the gaze of Rumbling Sid Rumpo but many more are in transit to Cannon Street as it be very close and near to the Scufter paradiso (I dread to mention the name and sharp intake of .....) Cannon Row. Arrgggh! oive been splond........

Solid Rust Twotter
31st Aug 2006, 19:16
One recalls one's Aunt Agnes having a Girl Guide Loin Nurdling badge of which she was very proud.

Finchley Road & Frognal

31st Aug 2006, 19:56
One recalls one's Aunt Agnes having a Girl Guide Loin Nurdling badge of which she was very proud.

Finchley Road & Frognal

Oim nart entiorly agreeing wit you deeer, young maaster, weer for wud be 'frargnal'? Wen we wur much binding in de marrsh, thh genuin' easdtanglia gurl guide wud be runnin' from er brother so as to stay unsullied as is the way, 'she oo can be farster than kith or kin, so dus she a virgine be". I av no mor to say now, 'tis subject that is best be-ind clos'd doors. I 'd bid you there to


31st Aug 2006, 22:17
Only one move then,


John Prescott
1st Sep 2006, 06:29
Dont say I didnt warn you all...

Dollis Hill.

One is saddened at the current standard of play, this could have so easily been avoided were a few of the more 'ahem...esteemed players- not resting upon their laurels.

What do you calculate the current Lv%ng now Twotter chap? The polarity induced by that Turnham Green gambit has still not recinded.

Solid Rust Twotter
1st Sep 2006, 06:38
'Twere only polarised because of the Plimsoll Effect generated by random fluctuation of the receding secondary precession of Green Line players in knid. Not difficult to counter with a Double Adroit Fenstermacher to


John Prescott
1st Sep 2006, 07:36
To qoute an oft cited quip from your memoirs...


Despite current regulations I propose..


1st Sep 2006, 22:16
Using the rules I recently uncovered from an old fisherman's tome. I play the only Tube station that contains none of the letters from the fish mackerel

St. Johns Wood

Solid Rust Twotter
2nd Sep 2006, 06:47
Well played, Mr D'vay. Such use of piscine existential obscurity demands a Fulvoid Trapezium to

Lambeth North