View Full Version : How does one (or two!) get an "amicable" divorce in the UK?

13th Aug 2006, 09:44
My wife and I have been at loggerheads for at least 15 years. Neither of us - as far as I am aware - has committed adultery. We just do not gel. True, I have been an absent/inattentive father (work, again - many regrets). We argue a lot, even when I'm home for short spells.
We would like to go for an uncontested divorce and I am determined that she and the kids - now teenagers - get everything they are entitled to and then some.
Any advice? (BTW, we are beyond counselling).

13th Aug 2006, 09:51
HA, HA, HA!! There's no such thing as an amicable divorce.

I have just spent the last 2 years trying to do the same and on Monday I admit defeat and go down to instruct the lawyers.

The divorce bit is the easy one - it's the assets and possession (and kids/pets if you've got them) that are the problem.

13th Aug 2006, 10:08
Well in my experience the key is to split everything exactly fifty-fifty. Any other arrangement will leave someone feeling hard done by. My ex and I divvied up the bits and pieces while sitting down with a cup of tea, and it worked. Ten years on, we get on fine, our relationshipbeing much improved by living 100 miles apart.

It can be done.

13th Aug 2006, 10:32
Not so, allan ... plenty of people have amicable divorces. Work out as many of the arrangements as you can between yourselves, check out what "do it yourself" divorce kits are available to you and proceed from there.

13th Aug 2006, 10:59
My ex and I were determined not to have lawyers involved - we didn't want them getting richer at our expense...maybe we're just cheapskates :) Anyway, that determination meant we were able to work things out without them.

13th Aug 2006, 11:08
Have you considered arranging for her to meet with a little accident? Apparently if done correctly, this usually works out to be the cheapest way, in the long run.

If you happen to be a member of the world's fastest-growing stone-age religion, you may divorce her by merely repeating the words: "I divorce you" three times. Remember to point your finger at her while you say it so she knows you're addressing her and not one of your other wives.

13th Aug 2006, 12:05
I could put you in contact with a chap called "Intensive Dave"!!! :E :uhoh:

13th Aug 2006, 12:18
Great advice. My almost ex and I decided that we would split things 50/50. I kept to that bargain but after the "oh, we haven't taken xx into account", and the "But I put more into the UK mortgage than you did", and the "Rosemary wants me to have the xx and yy that they gave us", it starts to become difficult. We ended up at the end of the "amicable" divorce settlement with me agreeing to a 56 - 44 % split in her favour just to expedite matters and it took 18 months to get to that stage. She wouldn't finally sign off. I gave her a deadline. She ignored it and wanted to argue over half a coffee service. I then quite and had a reappraisal of the properties (3 to her 1 I retained). Surprise, surprise each of the 4 properties had gone up in value since last done by $100,000!

She then wanted to sign the original documents quick smart and got all huffy when I said "Sorry, the deadline was just that and it's gone".

I see the lawyers on Monday.

Sorry, rant over:* Yours, angry........