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View Full Version : Government to handout pocket money!


candoo
8th Aug 2006, 20:20
Having recently carried out a thorough review of the Candoo household we have come to the conclusion that we may be better off just paying our salaries directly to HMG and just receive a token amount each month to spend on lifes little luxuries like soap, washing powder and essential food items (VAT exempt???).

Do you think we'd have enough left for a trip to Bangor at the end of the year?

This is very nearly a reality :{ :{ :{ :{

colmac747
8th Aug 2006, 20:29
just paying our salaries directly to HMG and just receive a token amount each month

Probably. How else will HMG pay for single mothers aged 19 with six kids or blokes who have fathered seven times by the age of 21?

I've nothing against single mothers (was engaged to one for a few years), but some, in my eyes, deserve nothing from the genuine hard workers..

...prolly opened a can of worms here..apologies candoo

Chesty Morgan
8th Aug 2006, 20:33
If I may be so bold. I would suggest a more efficient approach.

Every month give half to HMG. Then go down to Dover and hand out your remaining beer tokens to anyone getting off the back of a lorry - cuts out the middle man you see.

Once you've done that you should have enough to get you back home...maybe not!

candoo
8th Aug 2006, 21:01
Colmac if we could afford a can of worms we'd promise to only open it on special occasions!

Honestly, joking aside, being realistic, thinking very hard about it - we is stuffed.

At a rough guesstimate nearly 74.67% of our gross income finds it's way into the coffers of the state in one way, shape or form.

No VFM, would prefer the pocket money and as suggested top up with income from the 12 kids we are about to start procreating hard for!!

That's it! A moment of clarity! If you're gonna work hard you may as well enjoy it and think of the future at the same time.

flowman
9th Aug 2006, 11:44
Here's a thought.
Why don't the government pay dole money and all the other supplementary benefits to everybody? That way there would be no black money, nobody could be accused of claiming benefit while working and anyone working will have additional income. Okay taxes would be much higher but so would the handouts.
Surely anything would be better than the current fiasco.

airship
9th Aug 2006, 13:18
flowman makes a lot of sense. The only problem that I can see with that is that the UK's population would mysteriously swell by 150% overnight as people invent multiple identities to take advantage of the situation.

Nope, the only way to really combat tax evasion and illegal claimants would be to resort to a Soviet-style security system where 1 out of every 3 persons reports daily on the the activities of everyone else (including those of the other 1 out of 3s)... :ok:

flowman
9th Aug 2006, 15:25
Good point airship, false identities would be a problem as would a sudden surge in immigration, although that's happening anyway because everyone knows a good thing when they see it.
The only solution to personation or multiple claimants is i/d cards.
I will now run for cover and hide.:uhoh:

Gnirren
9th Aug 2006, 16:45
Well learn a thing or two from the environmentalist pary in sweden then :ok:

Their agenda is to introduce "citizen pay". That's right, for simply being a citizen you receive a monthly payment. Where this money should come from has not really been revealed yet. It will certainly be interesting to hear about though especially considering that after the implementation roughly 5% of the workforce will still be going to work.

Fantastic job people, really great stuff :hmm:

G-CPTN
9th Aug 2006, 17:08
WHO prints money?
Print MORE.

Works for me . . . :E

candoo
10th Aug 2006, 19:11
Apparently there are Bulgarians and Romanians rubbing their hands in anticipation of raiding the UK coffers in a year or so's time! woo hoo more trouble at t'mill!

To add a sombre note - after today's sad events we fully expect our contribution to HMG to be increased, again, in one way, shape, or form.

Can't bring ourselves to join the evergrowing ex-pat community but fully understand why peeps do it. :(