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Saintsman
6th Aug 2006, 22:39
Any suggestions for a good practical joke?

I quite liked the one about freezing a can of shaving foam and piercing the can before placing it in vitim's car to thaw out......



Tried the search BTW but couldn't find anything (it is late!)

419
6th Aug 2006, 23:27
Find where your victim parks their car.
Buy a tin of cheap engine oil, and pour it on the ground under the engine, making sure you smear a good amount on the bottom of the sump, and also make sure that the pool of oil is visible from the drivers door.

Then watch as they spend ages trying to find the leak on their engine, and maybe even call the AA.

Totally harmless, and no damage to the car.

spork
6th Aug 2006, 23:39
Depends on who your intended victim is. If in an office, just place a fresh fish (oily type best) in the very back of their top desk drawer where they keep their pens etc. Over just a few days you will learn lots of new swear words.

GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU
6th Aug 2006, 23:54
Wiring a fish to someone's exhaust pipe (top's best) is always fun. Another side-splitter is the dog t**d down the ventilation intake; wetter the better.

Pan Pan Splash
7th Aug 2006, 00:04
The old "ladies hair removal cream in the shampoo bottle" gag is a particular favourite of mine:E

Two's in
7th Aug 2006, 00:14
From a couple of years ago now, but how about entering the name of your local Labour politician on the ballot paper instead of somebody else? That should keep the country rolling in the aisles for at least the next 5 years...

blue up
7th Aug 2006, 09:17
Went to ZTH a few weeks ago in a 767-204. Take-off weight on the plan was 126.5 tons but the PCN limit (tarmac weight capacity) is a max 125 tons.
Had a brainwave and told the Cabin Staff that the company didn't want to offload pax or bags and that as we had an excess of crew above the legal minimum we were being ordered to offload 3 of them.:ooh:

5 minutes later we had a revised estimate for the Zero Fuel Weight that was going to put us below the PCN limit. I went back to tell them the good news but had a slip of paper with the Cabin Manager's name on it.
"Good news" I said, "We've spoken to the company and they only want to offload one!"

:mad: :mad: :eek: :{ :{ :ugh: :mad: :yuk:

She went ballistic. Very funny, but we didn't get any tea or coffee on the way back (not that I'd have drunk it, anyway)

Barkly1992
7th Aug 2006, 10:02
My brother-in-law - a removalist - we were in the final stages of loading his truck as we moving our aged in-laws into a retirement village.

Just about finished when he said ' see that small chest over there on the front lawn under that hessian put it on the truck'.

Almost killed myself trying to remove a suburban water housing from the front lawn. Had three goes before I realised that all of my nephews were hissing themselves laughing at the 'old fart'.

:p

bar fly
7th Aug 2006, 10:50
Depending on who it is of course, when they leave their mobile phone for a while, grab it. Change the name of their love interest (girlfriend works best) with yours in their phone book list. Place the phone back where it was. Now position yourself where you can see your mate with his phone. Text him from your phone about how you have been to the doctor and have an STD (make up your own story as required) and that 'you' need to talk. If you had enough time when you had his phone - read some of the messages from her to learn her texting style for added authenticity. Then sit back and watch his face as he learns that his girl is upset and wants to know who he has been sleeping with. When you're ready, text him and explain the number change and watch how his face goes from utter relief to anger and in my experience it helps to have an escape route at this point.

The target needs to be a good friend! :ok:

harpy
7th Aug 2006, 12:38
Went to ZTH a few weeks ago in a 767-204. Take-off weight on the plan was 126.5 tons but the PCN limit (tarmac weight capacity) is a max 125 tons.
Had a brainwave and told the Cabin Staff that the company didn't want to offload pax or bags and that as we had an excess of crew above the legal minimum we were being ordered to offload 3 of them.:ooh:
5 minutes later we had a revised estimate for the Zero Fuel Weight that was going to put us below the PCN limit. I went back to tell them the good news but had a slip of paper with the Cabin Manager's name on it.
"Good news" I said, "We've spoken to the company and they only want to offload one!"
:mad: :mad: :eek: :{ :{ :ugh: :mad: :yuk:
She went ballistic. Very funny, but we didn't get any tea or coffee on the way back (not that I'd have drunk it, anyway)
Now then young blue up, it's way past your bedtime. Switch off your computer and go to bed. I know there's no school tomorrow but you still need your sleep if you want to be a pilot when you grow up.

No Further Requirements
7th Aug 2006, 13:19
One of my favourite ones from uni was to get a large wheely bin and roll it up to the victim's door. Lean it against the said door and fill it stealthily wth water.
Knock.
Run.
"What....ahhhhhhhhh......"
SPLASH! :ok:
The other one was if they had left their room unlocked whilst away for a holiday or whatever. Hose down the carpet, sprinkle grass seeds, and turn heater on. They sure had a lovely garden when they returned!
Ah, the memories.....
Cheers,
NFR.

scruggs
7th Aug 2006, 13:25
When I was about 7, I snuck fart-powder into my nan's cuppa. She didn't fart, but I remember she had chronic stomach ache for days afterwards. To this day, nobody but me knows the truth.

She blamed my mom's (her daughter-in-law) cooking!

Nimrod615
7th Aug 2006, 13:38
Found a good one earlier this year!

In Microsoft Word under the 'Tools' menu you can adjust the auto correct functions!

You can change what ever you like, but we decided to change the regular users name to '[email protected] Jobsworthy'.

What we didn't know is that during his lunch breaks he was writing CV's.

When we found out we did try and make sure we stopped him in time, but he still does not know if any went off like it!

He wasn't happy :E

Kestrel_909
7th Aug 2006, 14:39
Couple of us staying at a friend's house one night, first one collapsed on the sofa and was asleep in minutes. I asked if there was any makeup or markers in the house for the old trick of '****' across the forehead. Friend leaves the room and comes back with a Mars bar. :E Placed said marsbar down his backside (tip, elastic waist trousers or shorts are best, jeans are worst.)

Next morning, all enter the room and play along 'Gaw, what's that smell? Someone sh!t themselves in here?' Watch poor friend run to bathroom in a hurry.

A Marsbar or caramel galaxy work best, preferably already soft before being placed in crack.

airship
7th Aug 2006, 15:08
Find where your victim parks their car.
Buy a tin of cheap engine oil, and pour it on the ground under the engine, making sure you smear a good amount on the bottom of the sump, and also make sure that the pool of oil is visible from the drivers door.
Then watch as they spend ages trying to find the leak on their engine, and maybe even call the AA.
Totally harmless, and no damage to the car. Have you really considered all the implications of such a frivolous act - spilling a litre of engine oil on the road? What about:

1) Where's that oil going to run off to? A river, into the groundwater...
2) Is some 2-wheeler going to come off on that innocent patch of oil in the newly-vacated parking space? Or is another car going to spread it out across the main road where it'll be all the more lethal...

Totally harmless ehh...?! Throw a few buckets of water out on a freezing cold night why doncha...?! :rolleyes: :} :ugh: :* ;)

Ralph the Bong
7th Aug 2006, 15:24
Go up to some workmen digging up the footpath near the university. Tell them that there is a bunch of students dressed as cops wandering around making trouble.

Call the cops and tell them that some students dressed as workmen are digging up the foot path near the university.

Retire to pub overlooking path near university to observe the merriment.

G-CPTN
7th Aug 2006, 15:27
'Tis an old one that (at least 45 years).
Might have worked back then, but nowadays you'd never get the Old Bill to respond - too much paperwork - and the workmen would have 'ID' . . . :ugh: :ugh:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
7th Aug 2006, 18:13
You could always call two major flying magazines and tell them you worked for the flight school you actually attended as a student and that you needed to check the accounts as you'd had a hard disc crash and you thought you might be a little behind, but you wanted to make sure that you caught up with the accounts.

Remember to express surprise when they say you actually owe them five grand, then suggest that you really want to pay it but might need to work out a payment plan as the current enrolment was down.

This is the fun bit though...when they ask what sort of plan, say "How about fifty bucks a month?"

:}

planeenglish
7th Aug 2006, 19:11
The best practical joke I have ever heard of goes like this:

An airline exec/pilot gets a call from somebody at a French aircraft manufacturer. Seems a new tire for a two-engined jumbo jet had been ordered but is in trouble. It is being delivered but is blocking traffic due the truck and it's cargo are too large to maneuver the little streets leading to the company's headquarters. The airline guy (unable to speak English or French-I believe his own native language is difficult for him as well:rolleyes: ) tries to explain that the delivery should be made to the airport where the airplanes sleep, not where the people push buttons on the computers. The streets are not made to accomodate a truck with a load that large, it is illegal.

Mr.Airplane maker doesn't speak Italian and keeps telling him (in over-exaggeratedly bad English) to meet the truck driver as he is trying to reach the headquarters and Capt driver needs to help the truck driver out. So, (naturally a cold and rainy day is the best for this joke) Mr. Airline man goes out in the freezing rain looking for a very large tire strapped to a truck. :D And all his friends laugh while they watch him wandering around outside as he is getting wet and cold. :cool:

planeenglish
7th Aug 2006, 19:13
oh, and the second best, is to change the language on everyone's telephones. I usually choose Chinese or Japanese. My B-I-L had to stop at the Nokia shop and get t changed becuase he couldn't figure anything out! :ok:

Standard Noise
7th Aug 2006, 19:30
planeenglish- it took me ages to see the funny side of that one. Left my phone lying on the tower desk at Cov once when I went for a break, and one of the guys changed the language setting to Norwegian. It might have been a giggle if my car hadn't been in the dealership getting repaired (I was cycling the 3 miles to work each day, but the nearest O2 shop was miles away!)

One from my brother's days as an apprentice in the shipyard. His foreman sent him off to the stores for a Long Stand. Storeman told him ok, but you'll have to wait in the corner. Took him about 25 minutes to figure it out.
When I worked in a pub, I used to get my mates to come up to the bar and ask one of the young glasswashers for a left handed pint glass. Hours that one would take.:} Or sending one of the waiters to ask the head barman (who was working in the very busy bar up in the disco) for a bucket of soapy steam to clean the shelves. That one usually produced flying bottles and much swearing.:}

Has anyone ever heard of a trainee ATCO/ work experience kid being asked to go out and sweep the glide path? Or is that definitely an urban legend?

planeenglish
7th Aug 2006, 19:39
............I worked with a girl once that spent hours looking for "elbow grease".....:ugh:

The phone thing is fantastic if you can get someone you don't know. I had an Irish friend that called his mom in Ballahadereen seconds before I changed the langauge. The owner of the phonevwas a patron of a bar that had had four too many that evening. Poor guy the next morning. :E

PE

stevef
7th Aug 2006, 21:36
1) Take one fast-food sachet of mayonnaise or sauce.
2) Cut the tip of a corner off, leaving a VERY small hole.
3) Carefully place under the pad of a toilet seat with the hole facing inwards.
4) Wait for victim's nether parts to be squirted with said condiment when weight applied to the seat.

:^)

G-CPTN
7th Aug 2006, 22:30
If someone is using Windows on their PC, find their 'opening' screen (with the wallpaper and, probably, their favourite programme icons). Take a screen-grab (Prt Sc) and then open Paint (a resident graphics programme) and create an image of the opening screen, which you then set as 'wallpaper'. The screen LOOKS like it always did, but the icons are mere 'images' and aren't interactive.
2. "Right click" on the picture and either choose: "set as wallpaper" or "set as background" (this automatically sets the picture as a wallpaper on your desktop). Minimize any open windows and you should be able to see the new wallpaper. If you are using the Internet Explorer Browsers you are done. You don't need to do anything else except repeat this process if you want to download a different/more wallpaper.
(read step 2 to learn how to setup the wallpaper)



Step 2 To Set a saved or downloaded file as Wallpaper:
1. "Right click" anywhere on your desktop.
2. From the drop down menu choose "properties" (the last item)
3. This opens the Display Properties Box. Select the "Background" tab (this is the first tab if it is not already selected) Note: Wallpaper is referred to here as background
4. Click on the "browse" button. This allows you to search for the file you want to choose as a wallpaper. When you find it click on that "file's name" and then click on the "open" button.
5. This brings you back to the Display Properties Box.
6. Below the "browse" button is the Picture Display. Click on the "drop down menu/arrow" and select "center". (this centers your wallpaper on your desktop) Note: If your picture doesn't fill the whole screen you can choose "stretch" to fill the whole screen or you can choose 'tile". It's up to you.
7. From the properties box on the very bottom are three buttons click on "apply" then click on "OK". Your wallpaper should be set.
Note: Repeat the above steps if you want to try other wallpapers.top

GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU
7th Aug 2006, 22:36
stevef (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=133204)

Looks more fun than the cling film trick!

G-CPTN
7th Aug 2006, 22:46
Has anyone ever heard of a trainee ATCO/ work experience kid being asked to go out and sweep the glide path? Or is that definitely an urban legend?
HAVE heard of a newbie FO being asked to wash the a/c windows outside. "Ask the groundcrew to show you where the ladder is stowed . . . "

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
8th Aug 2006, 00:40
Here's a good one. Pry off the M and the N keys on the keyboard and swap 'em round.

Wait though there's more...oh you're going to love this...then go into the mainframe emulator and map M to N and N to M.

So this way when he's coding, everything will come out ok, but then he'll go into Word and his document will be wrong. He'll figure out why, switch the keys back but then...no really... he'll start coding again and will get totally confused.

Oh I'm rolling on the floor just typing it.



It's even better than removing the cord between the phone and the handset and then calling him.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
8th Aug 2006, 00:42
Better still, go into Word and add an AuitoCorrect option, so that "Yours sincerely" gets changed to "you're a cnut"

:}




Tools > Auto Correct Options...

notmyC150v2
8th Aug 2006, 03:37
Back when I was a Baker we used to send the apprentices down to the butchers shop to borrow some sky hooks and told them that if they could not get those to ask for a long weight.

Some were quicker than others...:} :} :}

G-CPTN
8th Aug 2006, 03:52
In Engineering it was a long stand, or rivet-holes (of a specific size).
Talking of rivets, in the mid 20th Century, shipyard workers' coats were hung on racks which were hoisted up out of reach during the shift. At shift-end there was a mad rush for coats and a run to be first in the bus queue. My Uncle was a plater, and they got fed-up with one guy always being first out-of-the blocks, so they collected some rivet-blanks (the 'plugs' punched-out of ships' plating an inch thick where the rivets would go) and filed this chap's pockets with dozens of these blanks (more than an inch in diameter). Come shift-end, hooter goes and the coat-rack descends. Matey starts his run, swipes his coat off the rack, then sinks to the ground as his knees buckled under the combined weight of his coat with its load of metal.
Satisfaction to the 'also-rans'.

notmyC150v2
8th Aug 2006, 04:39
This was not a deliberate practical joke but...

11 years ago my wife and I were living in a smallish house with a very small living room and we had a chair that only fit against a wall near the entry to the kitchen.

I thought it was too close to the door so I moved it one small toe width to the left and then walked into the kitchen.

My wife thought I was being stupid and in the 30 seconds I was gone moved it back.

Now, did you catch the mention of the small toe? because it gets important later on.

Later that afternoon, about 1/2 an hour later I started to walk out of the living room again. And stopped.:{ :{ suddenly. And then started to jump around sceaming in agony clutching my newly broken little toe.

Did my wife leap to my aid? (she's a nurse after all), did she offer sympathy? NO!!!!

Did she role around the floor Pi$$ing herself?? :ok: :ok:

11 years later all I have to do is say the words, "I moved it just this much and you couldn't leave it alone" and there she is pi$$ing herself all over again.

Eliason
8th Aug 2006, 10:16
I usually like changing the languages on mobile-phones. But always remember first how to change them back as well ;) - the others might not know...

A friend of mine has one of those multi-function Casio watches. I had nothing better to do than set all of his alarms (3 or 4) to different hours - starting 3am, 4am, ... :E :p

About half a year later we were sitting somewhere having lunch - and his watch peeps at 12... It turns out he didn't know how to switch the alarms off - so he set them all to noon!!! :D

woolyalan
8th Aug 2006, 10:44
Ring up your local B&Q (or B&Q Etruria (My old employer) on 01782 203200 on a weekday evening) and ask the person who answers the phone for one of the following:

1. a left handed hammer
2. a skyhook
3. long weight or stand
4. a bubble for a spirit level
5. teeth for a hardpoint saw
6. Say "I want to buy your shop!"

You could be answered by "wait there let just find out" or perhaps "Is that you matt?" or more likely "MATT YOU (insert lots of expletives here)"
kinda funny really

Nimrod615
8th Aug 2006, 12:16
Got this one at a VGS.

Ask a cadet to go turn the windsock off. Works a treat!

:E

tubthumper
8th Aug 2006, 12:31
Possible urban myth, but....

....many years ago, a friend worked on an Irish Sea ferry, where a new chief pursar was making a bit of a nuisance of himself, stamping his authority on all those below him. Revenge came via a foam fire extinguisher, cut open to reveal two vessels containing the monomers that, when mixed, form a dense white foam. These chemicals are, on their own, quite benign. However, when one is tipped into the toilet bowl, the other is tipped into the cistern, pursar closes bog door in his cabin, ablutes, then flushes....

I hope it's a true story.

MoateAir
8th Aug 2006, 14:53
....and the new student nurse sent down to stores for a fallopian tube.

G-CPTN
8th Aug 2006, 15:08
....and the new student nurse sent down to stores for a fallopian tube.
I heard this was done with a boy from a biology class sent into the girls class next door.

relight9
8th Aug 2006, 15:16
An old engineering one, to add to the bubble for a spirit level favourite, ' go to the stores and get a large packet of sparks for the grinder, i'm using loads of them on this job'

Ozzy
8th Aug 2006, 15:23
If someone is using Windows on their PC, find their 'opening' screen (with the wallpaper and, probably, their favourite programme icons). Take a screen-grab (Prt Sc) and then open Paint (a resident graphics programme) and create an image of the opening screen, which you then set as 'wallpaper'. The screen LOOKS like it always did, but the icons are mere 'images' and aren't interactive.That only works if you remove all the icons from the desktop after taking the picture. Otherwise the clickable icons are still on top.

Ozzy

woolyalan
8th Aug 2006, 15:31
A good one with a computer is to take a screenshot (print screen), open paint, paste the shot (ctrl - v), invert the colours (ctrl - v), then fullscreen it (ctrl - f).

The look of shock is priceless, you could also unplug the keyboard and mouse so the victim can't turn it off, and it looks like a system crash :ok:

waldopepper42
8th Aug 2006, 15:55
A true one...

I was working a spart of a project team in St. Petersburg, Russia. One of the company directors came to visit and saw it proper to lecture the team that whilst it was OK to sample the late night(early morning) delights of SPb, from the point of professionalism it was extremely important that EVERYONE should be out of bed on on the bus to work the following morning - failure to show for a hangover is not acceptable.

Went out with said director that evening, who unwisely left his mobile behind when going to the bar. Now, we all tend to use these as alarm clocks, so we set the time of his mobile back by one hour. Left bar at 4am, went to hotel.

Sure enough, next morning at 8am, only one person was missing as the bus pulled out. Sent text message to director - "The bus has left, where are you?"

Received reply 5 minutes later "You [email protected]!!!!!"

Strangely, I didn't get my promotion that year....:E :E

blue up
8th Aug 2006, 19:45
Drill a hole in a coffee cup and fill it with candle wax. Add coffee, milk and hot water and put it on somebody's desk.

Dog poo under a car door handle?

Party balloon and Jubilee clip over car exhaust?

Cuting an inch off the end of a tape measure and riveting back the end fitting?

Superglue the cap onto all of the BIC Biros on somebody's desk.

Pierce the tiny 2mm disc that holds the Beer Can ring pull to the tag and then throw the can to somebody. A Biro has the right dimensions for this. We used to do it on the production line at a Beer packing factory when I was in my teens. Would run down the line and start to erupt as it reached the next work station.


Hours of endless fun.

Richard Spandit
8th Aug 2006, 20:30
Hold a plastic cup under your armpit.

Wait until a new hostie arrives in the cockpit.

Complain about your neck hurting and demonstrate by twisting it whilst breaking the cup - makes them jump about a foot in the air!!

blue up
8th Aug 2006, 21:45
Mid Atlantic (guess Pacific works, too). Wait til alone. Write "INSUFFICIENT.FUEL" on both FMCs
When Matey comes back in you say "Did you hear that one of the pax told one of the cabin staff that they've seen something leaking from the wing? Probably a con-trail"




Thanks, Will:rolleyes:

Barkly1992
9th Aug 2006, 03:12
In the supermarket or handyperson shop thingy - go to the bin where all the mouse traps are and arm two or three of them very carefully.

They go of with a big BANG when someone tries to pick one out of the bin.

Careful of heart patients though.

:ok:

Capt Claret
9th Aug 2006, 04:58
Rumour has it that a colleague of mine has been known to turn off the air supply, put a condom on the airvent, then leave the aircraft.

got banned
9th Aug 2006, 10:32
video tape the lottery.

buy a ticket with those winning numbers on, and ask spouse to check

play back tape the following Saturday

Heatseeker
10th Aug 2006, 10:55
Mix together iodine crystals and amonia. Harmless when wet but explodes on contact when dry. Then, paint on toilet seat last thing at night and wait for the fun first thing next morning.

Even more. After the CRACK and attendant shriek, the iodine crystalises out and leaves a big red ring around the fundamental orrifice.

Only precaution you have to take - make sure you do it to someone smaller than you.

H :E :E :E :E

woolyalan
10th Aug 2006, 10:59
Mix together iodine crystals and amonia. Harmless when wet but explodes on contact when dry.


Wasnt that on brainiac science abuse?

ElectroVlasic
10th Aug 2006, 16:57
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060804/ap_on_fe_st/toilet_seat_injury

The old glue on the loo seat gag, in real life.. :uhoh:

EGBKFLYER
10th Aug 2006, 17:40
Be careful of sending engineering apprentices for 'some 1/2" holes'. Friend of mine did this to his apprentice. Lad trotted off to the stores - my mate laughing as he went.

Said apprentice was getting his own back. He booked a sheet of the most expensive stainless out of the stores on matey's job number, went to the workshop and punched it full of 1/2" holes. Took it back to my mate...:D

Spinflight
10th Aug 2006, 17:52
If somoene is drinking a can and leaves it on their desk half full then get a compass and punch a hole an inch or so down from the opening.

Can be quite an artform to get the hole in the right place so that it dosn't bribble on their fingers as they lift the can... :E :E

SilentHandover
10th Aug 2006, 17:58
I stupidly left my keys around in the tower one day, one of our friendly engineers emptied the contents of the bottom of the hole punch machine into the air vents of my car and set the blowers to max, result ignition on, car full of paper snow!!!! :ugh:

matt_hooks
10th Aug 2006, 18:59
Absolute favourite we used several times at uni.

Find yourself several alarm clocks, preferably the old fashioned bell type.

Set them to go off at irregular intervals throughout the night then hide them all over your victims bedroom.

The trick is NOT to be in the vicinity in the morning! :mad:

pulse1
10th Aug 2006, 19:03
My first proper job was working in a chemistry lab in the motor industry. We used to get people asking us to fill their cigarette lighters. We had a range of interesting fluids including:

1. Produced copious amounts of black smoke
2. Produced a very hot flame which was invisible in daylight
3. A normal flame which was not hot enough to light a cigarette, it just charred the end.

woolyalan
10th Aug 2006, 19:24
Ring up the zoo customer service thingie and ask for
Mr. C. Lion or Mr. G. Raff
then theres the usual:
Mike Hunt, Ben Dover, Neil Down, Sheila Blige etc etc

ExSimGuy
10th Aug 2006, 20:17
That was quite a good one - when mobile phones first came out (remember the talking bricks, with big dry lead acid batteries) Our local Used Car Sales guy had one (think Arthur Daley!)

Sitting in the local pub one day he waited until a particularly young and innocent bar-maid was free, then called the pub phone. Sure enough, the lass answered the phone in the hallway and came back into the bar to ask "is Mike Hunt here"

Noticing that the whole bar was trying to suppress laughter, she suddenly went very red.

Cruel :E

Controversial Tim
10th Aug 2006, 23:36
Pop an advert in autotrader (or the free-ads if you're tight :E ) for matey's car at around 1500 less than it's true worth.

Don't confess for a couple of weeks ....