View Full Version : Golfing Terms

5th Aug 2006, 09:09
OK I'll start with a couple...

A Sally Gunnel.....Bloody ugly, but a good runner

Adolf Hitler.....2 shots in a bunker

Arthur Scargill...Great strike, poor result

Over to you JB peeps:E

5th Aug 2006, 09:12
Tit Licker - a shot that opens up the hole

A Portillo - Bent and to the Right

A Peter Mandelson - Bent and to the left

A Ken Livingstone - Way off left

A Jean-Marie Le Pen - Too far right

A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect

A Rodney King - over-clubbed

An O.J. Simpson - somehow got away with it

A Condom - safe but didn't feel good

A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner

A Kate Moss - a bit thin

A George Bush - a bit thick

Taking a Gerry Adams - a provisional

Putting like a gynaecologists assistant - shaving the hole

A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer

A Diego Maradonna - a very very nasty little five footer

A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A ladyboy - Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems

A Glenn Miller - Kept low but didn’t make it over the water

A Buddy Holly - Came down early

A Yasser Arafat - Ugly and in the sand

A Saddam Hussain - Go from bunker to another

A Cuban - Ball needed one more revolution

A Princess Grace - Should have taken a driver

A Michael Jackson - Gradually fading

A Douglas Bader - Looked good in the air but didn’t have the legs

An Arsene Wenger - Everyone saw where it went but you

A Russell Grant - A fat iron

A son-in-law - Not what you wanted but it’ll do

A sister-in-law - up there but I know I shouldn't be

A Red October - Underwater and unfindable

Howard Hughes
5th Aug 2006, 09:16
A 'Gorilla', comes out of the trees...

Lon More
5th Aug 2006, 09:41
Q; and why is it called "Golf"?
A; because ":mad: " was already taken.

Sailor Vee
5th Aug 2006, 10:18
Most of the time, I call it 'Whack-****'.

5th Aug 2006, 10:58
Best golfing tip came from Lee Trevino who, when asked why he was walking in a severe thunderstorm with a club held high above his head, advised that "Not even God can hit a 1 iron".

No Mate!
5th Aug 2006, 11:09

Buster Cherry
5th Aug 2006, 11:58
Dennis Wise ( A nasty little 5 footer) edit. already done, didn`t see :8
Golden Ferret... (Holed bunker shot)

5th Aug 2006, 18:23
Film rental recommendation for the week....

"Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius"

5th Aug 2006, 18:37
A Dolly Parton, a putt that uses the full cup.

Romeo Delta
5th Aug 2006, 19:19
"Suck" - What my shots usually do on the course.

Pan Pan Splash
5th Aug 2006, 22:30
Seve - "I think the fairways should be narrower.. so everyone else can play from the rough as well as me.."

Mrs Lee Trevino (lining up a thirty five foot putt) "Ohmigosh, this is for my first ever birdie, if it goes in, I'll just die"..

Lee Trevino's reply... "ok, its a gimme"


5th Aug 2006, 23:32
Worm Burner - when you hit the ball and it screams along the ground for say - 75 metres - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah:}