PDA

View Full Version : Look at me folks, I'm a pilot!


Blackshift
26th Jul 2006, 21:12
After contributing to a thread on the instructors forum about chaps wot wear gold bars and stuff, I have heard some wacky tales about the lengths some folks will go to to sport their treasured regalia in inappropriate environments, such as a bunch of blingbods who appeared at a party claiming they had just come off duty, when much to their dismay an undercover pilot was present who knew that they had not in fact been working that day.

Any more tales of such farcical blingboddery?

BlooMoo
26th Jul 2006, 21:49
I just say I'm in high-speed transport when people ask me what I do. That leaves them stumped enough. Who bloody cares what I do...! Let's talk fishing, or diving.....blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,....I'd rather talk (when talking to non-aviators...) about something interesting like how to maximize a mortgage or the best chassis and engine combination for rebuilding a hot-rod, or .....blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....way to break the ice.

Those that do, do - and usually low-key -which is the best.. Those that wish they do, wave a flag saying they do.


You've done it, haven't you?

BM:}

Wingswinger
26th Jul 2006, 21:53
Ars est celare artem.

Knew a thing or two, those Romans.

hingey
26th Jul 2006, 22:25
Girl: So what do you do?

Guy: I'm a pilot.

Girl: Oooh, exciting! What do you fly?

Guy: C-150's.

Girl: What are they? Can you point one out to me?

Guy: Hmmm, can't see a C-150... but thats a C-130!

Coat, hat etc

h

Spui18
26th Jul 2006, 22:38
Blackshift.............and who do you expect to answer??
Wannabees??! :zzz::zzz:

Ray Darr (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=38334)
Give us a break! :yuk:

con-pilot
27th Jul 2006, 00:28
Actually I never tell anyone I'm a pilot unless I'm asked what I do fro a living, a very boring question I never ask of anyone.

Usually when the inquiring party then inquires what airline I fly for and I reply I am a corporate pilot I am given a blank look and they usually say, "Oh, a private pilot."

And I usually reply, "Yup." and walk off.

Life is too short to be wasted talking to idiots.

Pan Pan Splash
27th Jul 2006, 08:21
I'm similar to Con Pilot, I'd never tell anyone I was a biscuit designer unless they asked what I do for a living..:ugh: :p

(Must confess, I am NOT actually responsible for the increased number of vent holes in the "Bourbon cream" as I sometimes claim.. its a lie I made up to impress the girls..:} :p )

Frank Poncherello
27th Jul 2006, 08:40
I was in Bicester retail shopping outlet, 2 weeks ago (near Oxford), when I saw this guy in an Oxford training uniform (with customary Oakleys). My first thought was "doesnt he look like a security guard" my second was "[email protected]!",................ so i walked up to him looking confused and asked him if he was indeed a security guard as someone was in a spot of bother in one of the shops (which they were!).

His face was priceless!!!

shortandesperate
27th Jul 2006, 08:43
Usually when the inquiring party then inquires what airline I fly for and I reply I am a corporate pilot I am given a blank look and they usually say, "Oh, a private pilot."
And I usually reply, "Yup." and walk off.
Life is too short to be wasted talking to idiots.


I doubt an insult was intended by calling you a private pilot. The assumption would be you work for an individual rather than a large well known (to non aviators) airline.

Most non-aviation people don't know the licence categories of private/commercial etc that apply to pilots.
Aircraft are just there to get them from A to B.

ORAC
27th Jul 2006, 08:55
Some pilots are quiet, modest and unassuming.

Its just unfortunate that the other 98% give them a bad name....... :E

Flap 5
27th Jul 2006, 09:05
Personally the first thing I do when I get in my car to go home after a flight is to take my bars off. I know that the first thing that many people think of those who drive around with them on is: 'pillock!'.

If you buy a nice new flashy car you drive around thinking: 'don't I look great!' whereas most people are just jealous and think: 'pillock!'.

That's in the UK. Maybe it is different elsewhere.

ORAC
27th Jul 2006, 09:10
If you buy a nice new flashy car you drive around thinking: 'don't I look great!' This is too easy..... :hmm: :hmm:

teeteringhead
27th Jul 2006, 10:09
Allus thought the best line was:I travel in aluminium tubing!

tinpis
27th Jul 2006, 10:12
:rolleyes:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y150/tinpis/TheTruth.jpg

click
27th Jul 2006, 12:31
A very snoopy old lady, probably a former secret agent that used to live in the ghetto building here in Prague accosted me near the elevators one day. She pointed to my flight bag, and kept asking me what I had in there. She said she just had to know and it's been driving her nuts for months because of my irregular hours. Sooooooooo...:E , I said I was a pathologist and took difficult cases home so I could work on them....never saw her again:} .
At parties I usually answer....well, what do you know about waste management? (Not surprisingly nobody knows what happens after they flush the toilet:) so I launch into a story about collecting stations and pressure differentials and at the end I tell them that the last stop before water treatment is the dreaded gate where all the hard stuff collects. That's where I come in to save the world, but I quickly add that it's not as bad as it used to be because last year they finally gave us rubber gloves. At this point I look at them and say, oh by the way, I am....and extend my hand.:E

wiggy
31st Jul 2006, 17:39
Whats the problem? If it's a choice between wearing the "bling" or missing the commuting flight home I'll carry on wearing the monkey suit :}...but please, please gentle reader, never ever ask the knackered looking individual in uniform sitting next to you "if you are really a pilot or wearing the uniform as a joke..." / "I thought you guys got special treatment"/"isn't your travel free".. he/she has probably been up all night and the reply you might be could be :mad: :mad:

G-CPTN
31st Jul 2006, 17:49
That's the trouble with pilots - no sense of humour . . .
. . . unless THEY do the funnies that is.

Humour them.

wiggy
1st Aug 2006, 00:06
"Humour them"

Very, very sound advice, especially after they've had 24 hours without sleep, who knows how long dealing with African "ATC' on HF and 6 hours plus on 126.9 :{ Must remember to stop dribbling on the uniform whilst asleep though :uhoh: it's so unbecoming :ooh:.......

vapilot2004
1st Aug 2006, 07:17
I'm with CP on this.

Only when in the company of similarly employed folks do I then happily talk about my job.

Otherwise I like to say that I am in transport safety - which is technically correct. Usually gets a glassy-eyed look and a quick change in subject - unless the inquisitor places me non-airside as an airport screener. :=

Eliason
1st Aug 2006, 08:19
I usually just say I work for an airline (whereas most assume I am working on the ground or in the cabin).
If they ask me if I'm a flight attendant I just say I did it for 4 years (which is true - 2000-2004 ;) ).

It only works amongst strangers though - amongst friends, there is usually one who would tell them what I really do... :hmm: :suspect: :O

Barkly1992
1st Aug 2006, 10:58
I remember reading somewhere that a single engined-fixed UC pilot on boarding a B747 in SY said to one of the crew who was available, if you have any problems just give me a call.

The response was 'if I loose 3 engines, I will'.

Or was that me?

:uhoh:

Andu
1st Aug 2006, 11:21
Back in the early 70s, I had a mate who flew a redoubtable twin engined turboprop from the Hawker Sidderly factory that was commonly known in Aviation circles as "the Draggie". When starry-eyed young things would ask him what he did for a living, he'd tell them he was a pilot.
"Oh, what do you fly?" they'd say.
"D'you know the 747?" he'd reply.
"Ohhh, yes." (The Jumbo was very new on the scene at the time.)
"Well, I fly the 748!"

madherb
1st Aug 2006, 11:47
In my heli days, I was a "manipulator of hydraulic jacks" - usually brought a blank stare as well.
M

pulse1
1st Aug 2006, 12:08
Talking of 748's - I had just boarded a Dan Dare 748 when the guy behind me, in a very loud voice, asked the stewardess who was flying "this thing" tonight.
She replied that it was Capt xxx. He then asked her to tell him that he was on board and, as a jet pilot, he didn't like these propellor jobs and wanted him to be especially careful.

She suggested he should keep his voice down as he would frighten the passengers. He reposted that it was about time they realised how dangerous flying in turprops really was.

During the approach and flare he was saying things like "Come on, get it down, power off". I turned round and gave the biggest yawn I could.

sumtingwong
1st Aug 2006, 12:12
I tell em I'm an aluminium tubing relocator.

Saves the drama:ok:

Andu
1st Aug 2006, 17:11
My stock answer used to be "I'm a traveller in aluminium tubing."

It usually worked pretty well, (because it was, well, sort of accurate while being totally obtuse), with most people quickly going on to more interesting subjects without asking me for any more details. Until the night I tried it on a very good looking blonde who replied:"Oh.. Which company, Alcoa or Comalco?" And then she asked me all sorts of technical questions I couldn't even begin to answer.

Daddy turned out to be CEO of Alcoa.

airborne_artist
1st Aug 2006, 18:20
I told the truth - "I'm a pilot in the Navy" said I, (This was pre-Tom Cruise/TG). Everyone assumed I was the guy who drove the ship into harbour. I never told them I'd ever been in charge of anything on the sea bigger than a sailing dinghy :E

G-ZUZZ
1st Aug 2006, 18:56
Red On, Green OnThey flew Hercs off those carriers....??

airborne_artist
1st Aug 2006, 19:03
They flew Hercs off those carriers....??

Nah..

And later in my green phase I was in a little known regiment that the founders called the Artists' Rifles :E

G-ZUZZ
1st Aug 2006, 19:39
Ah. Then shouldn't it be Black On, Green On ??