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Pan Pan Splash
25th Jul 2006, 08:34
There's a snake in my room..

I have got my son down staying with me at the moment, and given that I live in England, the above excuse for not being able to sleep was, I thought, very original, and certainly worthy of a few extra mins staying up whilst I investigated..

PPS Jnr was in fact right.. So buoyed up by the need to look cool in front of Jnr, and fuelled by a few Stella's, I proceeded to pick up said snake (Well actually it was no more than 2 1/2 ft long, so it probably is better described as a large worm!!!) by the tail and despatch it back into the woods from whence it came..


Anyone else had any decent "I can't get to sleep excuses of late??:O

Foss
25th Jul 2006, 08:54
I was babysitting for a mate, who has three sons, from eight downwards. The middle one came downstairs 'I can't sleep',
'Why not, it's late, go back to bed' and all that.
'But my brother keeps hitting me with the chair'.
:ouch:

Fos

sprocket
25th Jul 2006, 09:50
"Daddy daddy I can't sleep."

"Sit on the end of the bed son, you'll drop off eventually." :hmm:

airborne_artist
25th Jul 2006, 10:37
Me mam told me to put on my shoes. "I can't" I said. "Don't be so silly" said Mam, "Put them on or we'll be late". "I can't", I whimpered. "There's a mouse in one".

I was three at the time. :ok:

Foss
25th Jul 2006, 10:58
I walked into the living room aged about six and my father said 'What are you doing up, get back to bed'.
'I can't sleep, it's smells funny'.
My younger brother, about fours old at the time, had lit a small fire on the carpet with matches and balsa wood 'because he was cold'.
There was a lot of shouting immediately afterwards. :ugh:

Fos

G-CPTN
25th Jul 2006, 13:20
My older brother allegedly used to call for a drink of water. When said drink arrived, he would reject it, saying that he wanted a FULL drink of water, not what he had been brought. And we wondered why Father developed an aggressive streak.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
25th Jul 2006, 13:43
At dinnertime a little kid tells his parents that he'd had sex with his teacher. Well there's a lot of shouting and the kid gets sent to bed.

After a while, the father enters the kid's bedroom and said "Listen son, you really shouldn't say stuff like that in front of your mother. I'm actually really proud of you, but I know it's a difficult thing to get the hang of, so I want you to know that if you have any questions ort need any advice...you can come and ask your old dad.".

"Oh don't worry Dad I won't be doing that again," said the little kid "my arse is still sore.".


:zzz:

colmac747
25th Jul 2006, 14:24
Anyone else had any decent "I can't get to sleep excuses of late??

Not enough drink:\

frostbite
25th Jul 2006, 15:50
I remember being rather amused by the story of the little girl who complained to her mother that 'someone's peed in my knickers'.

ShyTorque
25th Jul 2006, 16:55
S'funny - a certain lady in my life complains she has been kept awake by a big snake in the bed. ;)

planeenglish
25th Jul 2006, 17:18
Ahhhh, doubting parents...

My eldest, when she was about two and a half, complained of a stomach ache. She wanted "nonna", "nonno" and then had the audacity to call for "babbo natale". I got upset and told her she had to go to sleep. She then threw up all over my hsuband. :uhoh:

PE

chadwick
25th Jul 2006, 17:22
Thatís disgraceful :=

S'funny - a certain lady in my life complains she has been kept awake by a big snake in the bed.

Solution: give her a big mallet that should sort it out!

G-CPTN
25th Jul 2006, 17:30
The one-eyed trouser snake needs charming. If it looks limp, the 'kiss of wife' will revive it.

frostbite
25th Jul 2006, 18:14
Or she might decide to stamp on its eggs!

Foss
25th Jul 2006, 19:22
Deliberately opening the cupboard door so my brother gets scared, cause monsters live in there.
Then he gets up and goes to the living room.
And then gets shouted at for getting out of bed.
Result or what. :E

Fos
what are brothers for, aye;)

B Fraser
25th Jul 2006, 20:33
Anyone else had any decent "I can't get to sleep excuses of late??:O

What's the difference between light and hard ?

You can sleep with a light on :}

ShyTorque
26th Jul 2006, 02:13
What's the difference between light and hard ?
You can sleep with a light on :}

And you can roll out of bed with a light on...

Pan Pan Splash
26th Jul 2006, 10:05
ShyTorque - a certain lady in my life complains she has been kept awake by a big snake in the bed

Did she tell you who owned it???:} :p


And of course BF, ShyT... The one thing light and hard have in common? a big light on gives her a headache as well.....:}

RaraAvis
26th Jul 2006, 10:50
One is much too hot and bothered to get any sleep at all.....
Poor moi!:sad:
Quick escapade back to the Nordic lands seems like such a good idea!:E

Oehh, just checked, it's not much cooler there either... :ugh: