View Full Version : Is the glass half full...

Chesty Morgan
24th Jul 2006, 21:17
...or is it half empty?

I say it's half empty. Only because, barring spillage, I've all ready had half a pint. I am half a pint closer to my next pint, which I can order now, and will therefore have about one and a half pints in front of me. For a short while at least.

Sometimes I miscalculate and drink from my newly purchased pint. This then puts me in a position of having two half empty pints. I will therefore order two new pints very shortly. I then have to solve the conundrum of which new pint to drink from. Seeing as they are both similar and I've had a couple, this becomes a difficult choice.

At this point my drinking partner will undoubtedly be about half way through his second pint and will stand a new round. I will then probably have two and a half pints in front of me! As I'm now half way through one of my pints it is up to me to buy a new round. Soon I lose my mathematical ability and begin to order too many pints, or maybe not enough.

Roughly five hours later I stumble home from the pub, realise I've left my keys on the bar and so HAVE to return to the pub. I find my keys on the bar next to my last half empty pint...

It's a vicious circle this drinking lark.

Now......where's me barbecue....................

green granite
24th Jul 2006, 22:16
Drink your beer by the yard is the simple answer as there are no glasses involved :ok:

24th Jul 2006, 22:19
I used to think that draught beer was lying under the spigot.

24th Jul 2006, 23:09
Ah but what about those circumstances where you hand an empty pint glass over the bar saying, "Landlord, my good fellow, please may I have just a half in there". Landlord will then do one full pull on the beer engine plus another little tug and present back to you, a "clubman's" half! Ergo, glass half full since it started off empty and is now half full!

Well, they do that where I live!!



Capt. Queeg
24th Jul 2006, 23:12
Is the glass half full...
...or is it half empty?

Neither. It is merely twice as voluminous as is necessary.

24th Jul 2006, 23:16
Numerous 'discussions' with wifey about 'too full'. Am I pedantic to insist that 'Full' is 'Full' and cannot be qualified by 'too'? It's either full, or it's not.
I mean you don't say "This is too empty."

Incidentally, 'Full' is the Danish for being Drunk (not intoxicated). By definition, when you're 'full' you can't drink any more. If you're not 'full' then you CAN drink more. 'Intoxicated' is considered 'happy', and by no means to be confused with 'Drunk'.

Capt. Queeg
24th Jul 2006, 23:19
You do in the USA:

This is not empty.

This is too empty.

Is not.

Is too...


24th Jul 2006, 23:21
"Is this glass ever full ?"

24th Jul 2006, 23:22
Doh! :ugh: :ugh:

tony draper
24th Jul 2006, 23:36
One hates to be pedantic, but unless you are in vacuum a glass is always full,:rolleyes:

24th Jul 2006, 23:48
Can't it be full of vacuum?

Capt. Queeg
24th Jul 2006, 23:51
What about in a partial vacuum, then?

If it's full at one atmosphere, how can it be fuller at two atmospheres?

Is there such a thing as a "partial" vacuum......:confused:

24th Jul 2006, 23:52
Some women are partial to a vacuum.
I think they suck.

tony draper
24th Jul 2006, 23:55
Ah! a question that has baffled philosophers for centuries, can nothing be contained?.

25th Jul 2006, 00:16
My husband got himself very drunk one evening rather unusually on cider. He fell asleep at the bar (much to my chagrin). About an hour later, he woke, belched loudly and exclaimed, "It contains that gas which cannot be contained!" and promptly fell asleep again!

One of his more philosophical moments!



tony draper
25th Jul 2006, 01:12
A few hundred years ago one could be burned at the stake for even hinting at the existance of a vacuum,the Church of Rome did not hold with vacuums,the way they read it was
"How could God create nothing, indeed how can nothing be created? yer a heretic me lad, Brother Obediah take him out and toast him"

25th Jul 2006, 01:28
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

Erwin Schroedinger
25th Jul 2006, 09:46
There's too many vacuous arguments. :rolleyes:

Drink your beer by the yard
Only works if three people are footing the bill.