View Full Version : Do you now the truth about Blackpool?

23rd Jul 2006, 17:52
The English Tourist Board Guide for 2006 describes Blackpool as a beautiful place where you can recuperate from death, sickness, sorrow or pain. (Chapter 21: pages 3-4)

Many people wrongly think that being from Glasgow is all that is required for them to go to Blackpool, but there are many frequent charabang trips from various grimy northern mill towns.

The Guide says "If you love fish and chips, then this is the place to come. None of that Rock Salmon, dog fish nonesense :yuk: with the skin still on and the bones still in" (Restaurants Pull out section page 10:9)

Blackpool was founded in 1876 and has been a tourist mecca ever since with wonderful attractions such as The Pleasure Beach, Stanley Park, a zoo and model village and of course the promanade with seven miles of beautiful golden beaches.

Three days breaks are available at short notice through many discount travel agencies, including the Son of God Tours in Manchester.

Blackpool even won the national final on It's a Knock Out (Jeux Sans Frontiers) on home turf in the final game. This historical event was witnessed by many people and broadcast to a television audience.

If you would like to visit Blackpool, log on to the English Tourist Board website and follow the links or copy the little incantation below and mail it in.

Dear English Tourist Board, I want to visit Blackpool. Please send me more information including traint times and prices and a list of pretty decent guest houses that won't cost an arm and a leg.

If you just now made reservations to visit Blackpool welcome to the town, please try not to get too drunk in public.

You should also find a good fotball match to attend on Saturday. Sadly the day's of Blackpol's dominence are well and truly in the past, though they do remain the only English team to field eleven full internationals.

http://blackpoolpictures.com - This is an excellent website.

Have a god day! (geddit?)

[email protected] << my e-mail address

Show this to all your friends and family so they can have a chance to be saved from going on a package trip to Spain in a partially built hotel where they might die.

Some of them may dislike you for showing this to them but at least you cared enough about them to try and show them how to have a good old knees up on the prom in your Kiss me Quickly bowler hat.

If you have a printer you may print as many copies of this message as you want to print.

23rd Jul 2006, 18:00

Farmer 1
23rd Jul 2006, 19:25
Well, you can say what you like about Blackpool,

23rd Jul 2006, 19:29

'what you like about Blackpool'

23rd Jul 2006, 19:36
With the proper chemicals one can clear up a Blackpool.

23rd Jul 2006, 19:40
The Illuminati will soon be switched on to you you Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

23rd Jul 2006, 20:25
'what you like about Blackpool'It has a tower! Not many British resorts have one of those!:}

23rd Jul 2006, 20:30
Blackpool was founded in 1876 and has been a tourist mecca
Using Black and Mecca in the same post!
Surely this should be in the "hamster Wheel"

23rd Jul 2006, 20:43
Compared with 'Sarfend' Essex, Nonwhitepool, ( you can't say Blackpool, it offends our non English residents). is a paradise of culture and sophistication.

I can't wait to reach 65 when under Blair's new plan to combat global
warming and reduce carbon emissions, I and all the other 'selected seniors' will be luxury coached for free to the Eagle's Lair Guest House, Fleetwood, where we will be welcomed by Frau Lotte Lenya, and our tour guide, the handsome, yet sinister, Oberleutenant Hans von Gruber.

Many of my friends have gone on this holiday, and must have really enjoyed it, because none have ever come back!

I can't wait!! :hmm:

23rd Jul 2006, 20:59
The Head Chef, Mr Hilter, will not be amused at your failure to mention him!

Devlin Carnet
23rd Jul 2006, 21:08
ever seen "Funland"
that should keep you away for a while :E

23rd Jul 2006, 22:34
ever seen "Funland"
that should keep you away for a while :E

Not if Sarah Smart's going to be there!

24th Jul 2006, 02:11
I'm with you frostbite - especially if she's doing her l*sbian act :E :ok:

Blackpool Tower - that would be the vertical pier then?

Buster Hyman
24th Jul 2006, 02:57
My first trip to Blackpool was in 1973! Not a lot had changed when I last visited Blackpool which was, coincidentally, in 1973!

I'm always amazed at what passes for entertainment in the UK.:rolleyes:

24th Jul 2006, 05:18
Heart wrenching stuff it is.
First the war then rationing....
Poor bloody poms..:{

Still..look on the bright side most couldnt afford a visit there.

24th Jul 2006, 05:46
A friend of mine used to say....

You don't go swimming at blackpool, you just go through the motions!!!!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :)

24th Jul 2006, 06:44
Most illuminating..... :cool:

24th Jul 2006, 07:44
You don't go swimming at blackpool, you just go through the motions

Or as they used to say:

"Dover for the continent.
Blackpool for the incontinent!"

Howard Hughes
24th Jul 2006, 08:27
Could you bring me back some Rock please?:}