Mercenary Pilot
21st Jul 2006, 13:22
A10: Warthog
A319: Microbus
A320: MiniBus, NintendoJet, ScareBus, Chainsaw, Deathjet, Freddie Kruegers wet dream, Toulouse Grasscutter, The Strimmer
(What's the difference between an A320 and a beaver? 4000 trees per hour.)
A320 is known as 'The John Wayne' Because they 'Chop down trees, move mountains and kill Indians!!'
A380: Double Decker Bus, Megabus ("super-jumbo" is stupid and unoriginal)
Alouette: Chicken chaser
AT6 Harvard: Halfard.
AW62 Argosy: Whistling Wheelbarrow, Whistling Tit
BAC 111:Pocket rocket.
BAe146: Viscount 900, Smurfjet with 5 APU's, The Gas Chamber, Bumble-et, Baby Jumbo, Bring Another Engine, 1-4-Sick, submarine- low slow and out of sight, Airborne Auschwitz, Tonka Toy, 4 oil leaks connected by an electrical fault, The Quadra-Puff, Lead Sled, Mini Galaxy, Sky Dozer, Fisher Price 747, "1 aeroplane, 4 engines, needs 6", The Slug, Toxic Terror, Muffler (Because all the noise is on the inside), Fruit Bat, Flying cockroach.
BAe ATP: Advanced/Another Technical Problem, The Parrot (cos it's just a big Budgie), Ancient Technology Perpetuated, Bat Pee, Skoda, 80p, Wigwam (A TeePee).
BAe Harrier: Leapin'Heap
BAe Jetstream: Junkstream, Wetdream, Soda-stream.
Bristol Beaufighter: Whispering Death
Beech 18: Flying snag
Beech 99: 99-Liner
Beech Baron: Ball tearer
Beech Bonanza: Doctor killer (its reputation as such is ubiquitous)
Beech 200: Super K
Beech 1900: Flipper, Dolphin, Stonefish
Beech T-34: Radial Interceptor
Bell 206: Deathranger, Hydraulic palmtree
Beverly: Flying Longhouse
Bristol 188: The Mayfly
Bristol Britannia: The Whispering Giant (Was this the original WG?), Freighter version: The Whispering Warehouse
Bristol Freighter: Freightener
B707: Slush bucket, Water wagon
B727: 3 holer, Tri-jet, Trisaurus, Triple crome-plated stovepipe
B737: Tin mouse, Maggot, Pocket Rocket Socket, FLUF (Fat Little Ugly F**cker), Light Twin, Baby Boeing, Fat Freddy, Guppy, Pig, Bobby (BOeing BaBY).
B747: Jumbo Jet, Whale, The Valiant, Upstairs and Downstairs, Lump.
B747SP: Short Plane, Stupid Purchase.
B757: Stick Insect, AtariFerrari, Slippery Snake
B767: Dumpster, Slug
B777: B737 on steroids, Cripple Seven (I.F.E. Problems??), Bigfoot
B24: The Crystal ****house
B52: BUMF (Big Ugly Mother f***er) or BUFF. (Big Ugly Fat F****er)
BN 2 Islander: 225 - 2 wings, 2 engines(?) 5 Wheels, Slander, Bongo
BN 2A Trislander: Try Harder, Bloody Nice Aircraft (!), Clockwork TriStar
CA-15 Winjeel: The Ginwheel
Casa: Christ A Sh***y Aeroplane
Cessna 150: One Filthy, the buck and a half, Cesspit
Cessna A150 Aerobat: Aerosplat
Cessna 172 Cutlass: Strutless, Gutless
Cessna 177 Cardinal: The Pontif
Cessna 207: Crowdkiller, Slug, Moneymaker
Cessna 210 Centurian: Coffin
Cessna 337 Sky Master: Sky Maggot, Push-me-Pull-you, Mix Master, Bug Smasher, Push-me-Pull-me, Blow-me-Suck-me.
Cessna 402 Utiliner: Undyliner.
Cessna Citation: Levitation, Crustacean, Mutation, Slowtation, Nearjet, Bugjet
CF100: The Lead Sled
CT-4A: (which was painted bright yellow and green in Oz Air Farce service) - the Plastic Parrot
DC 3: Dakotasaurus Rex, Gooney Bird.
DC 6: Douglasaurus Rex.
DC-8: DC Late, Old Smokey, Greasy8, Death Cruiser, Whiney Bird
DC 9: Greasy 9, Diesel 9, Pocket Rocket (series 10/15 only), DC3-GT
DC 10: Diesel 10, Death Cruiser 10, Crowd Killer
MD 11: More Death 2, I also like 'Scud' for the MD-11, once you launched it, you were not sure were it was going to land.
DH 82 Tiger Moth: Terror Moth.
DH Comet: Vomit
DHC 1 Chipmonk: Chippie, Chukmonk.
DHC 4 Caribou: The Gravel Truck ("The only aircraft known to man that could suffer a birdstrike from behind".)
DHC 6 Twin Otter: Tin Otter, Twin Rotter, Twotter, Stoneboat
DHC 8 Dash Eight: Dash Late
DO 328: Dork
DO 328J: Dorkjet
EMB110 Bandierante: Bandit, Randy Banty
EMB120 Brasillia: Garbage Can, Brakillya
EMB145: Jungle Jet, Barbie Jet, The Windows 98 Plane (seems like you spend more time rebooting the aircraft than actually flying it), Bendy Jet, Emb180 (taxi to the runway, then 180 for taxi back to ramp)
F27: The Dutch Dog Whistle, Whistle Pig, The Converter - (ie, it converted fuel into noise). F50: F**kin' Fifty
F28: WhisperJet
Fokker 100: The Scud Because they point them at Europe and they don't come back!, Dutch Oven (lousy air conditioning)
FA 18: Bug, Rhino
F-100 Hun
F-102 Deuce
F-105 The Thud
F-111: Aardvark, The Pig
Fouga: Dog-whistle, Converter
HS125: Pocket rocket
HS748: Paraffin Budgie, the Draggie, The Twenty Ton Dog Whistle.
HS Trident: Rodent.
Gloster Meteor: Meatbox
Gulfstream I: G-String, G-Once
Gulfstream IV: Fourskin
IAI Westwind: Lead Sled, Jew Canoe, Heebjet, Bagel Bomber, Yom Kippur Clipper
Katana DA20: Flying sperm
Lake Amphibian: Doctor Killer
LearJet: FearJet, Noisemaker
L Jetstar: Lawn Dart
L1011 TriStar: Bistar (Had so many RB211-22B failures), El-10-Elemon, FrightStar, Tritanic, Swamp Eater, Swamp Buggy
C130 Hercules: Fat Albert, Trash hauler, Herkybird
MD 11: Mad Dog
MD 80: Mad Dog 80
MD 95: John Holmes condom
Metroliner: San-Antonio sewerpipe, Texas Sewer Pipe, Death pencil, The Screamin Weenie, Texas Lawn Dart, Swetro (in the summer), Baltimore Whore (no visible means of support, skinny lil 'ol wings), Terror Tube, "That noisy ******* thing", Widow maker, Kerosene Crowbar.
Mohawk 298/Nord 262: Pteradactyl
MU-2: Widow Maker, Hiroshima Screamer, Rice Rocket, Kill You - 2
N24 Nomad: Go-mad, Gonad
Partenavia: Part-of-Mafia, Partial Aviator, Part Banana
PA-18 Tri Pacer: Pie Chaser
PA-23 Aztec: Az-Truck
PA-28 Arrow: Sparrow
PA-28 Cherokee: Cherry Tree
PA-28 Warrior: Worrier
PA-31 Navajo: Never-go, Have-a-go
PA-38 Tomahawk: Traumahawk, Terrahawk, SpinMaster
PA-44 Seminole: Semenhole
PA-60: ScareOstar.
PC12: Platypus.
PBY 5 Catalina: Pigboat, Dumbo.
RJ70/100: Real Jet
SAAB J29: Flying Barrel
S3 Viking: Hoover
Shackleton: Shacklecaster
Shorts Belfast: Belslug
Shorts Sandringham: The Triple Decker Bus
Shorts Skyvan: The Whispering Nissan Hut
Shorts 330: The Two Tailed Shed, Horse Float, Milk Carton, Winnebago, Box Car, Short Van
Shorts 360: Box, Shoe Box, Barn, Shed, Long Short, The box that the Skyvan came in.
Sikorsky S61N: "Miss Piggy", (fat and ugly)
Strikemaster: Constant speed - variable noise machine.
Supermarine Stranraer: Whistling ****house
T-33: T Bird
T-37: Tweet
TB-10 Tobago: Toboggan - because they only perform downhill!
VC-9 Vanguard: Vickers Vibrator
VC-9 Vanguard Merchantman: The Guards Van
VC-10: Iron Duck, Vickers Knickers