Opening the champers with a sword...

[mgdaviso]

anyone ever attempted this?

How does one achieve such a feat and not damage
a) yourself
b) the sword

Never done it before, but would like to have a go at our upcoming ball.

Thanks

[airborne_artist]

Full instructions (http://www.access-wines.com/sabre_champagne/sword_champagne_en.php).

[BEagle]

"Make slip the sabre along the neck of a full movement. The pressure of the bottle being of 6 kilos, it is useless to force, it is simply enough to accompany the stopper and its flange in their take-off."

Absolutely....:rolleyes:

English almost as bad as an Airbus FCOM!

[mgdaviso]

AA, Cheers bud.

[Low Ball]

MG

I was taught this by a Royal Marine and it works every time. You need a biggish kitchen knife (carving and sharp) or sword. Sword more difficult to handle unless you have very long arms.

1. Remove all foil from top of bottle
2. Remove wire holding cork into bottle
3. Avoid shaking the bottle in your excitment
4. Identify seam on bottle. All bottles made in 2 halves so there should be 2 seams 180 deg opposite each other. Run thumb round neck to help identify the seam.
5. Run knife/sword up the seam in a swift motion making sure the sharp part of the blade strikes the lip of the neck smartly. It may take one or 2 goes before you get it right. Best to have a practice somewhere quiet first.
6. Top of bottle will come off cleanly with cork still in it.
7. Although it is a clean break avoid temptation to drink from the bottle, especially if pissed.
8. If the whole goes well you will be king of the castle if it fails you could look a bit of an arse so PPPPP.

Good luck

LB

[Sailor Vee]

English almost as bad as an Airbus FCOM!Well, 'tis Fractured Franglais in both!

[mgdaviso]

Think I might practice on a couple of bottle of asti spew-manti first!

The only problem is how to buy them without getting noticed....:\

thanks LB

[FOMere2eternity]

You could always open it by popping the cork as intended?

Trust you rodneys to find a cack-handed way of doing it thats contrary to convention, much trickier for no obvious gain and far more likely to fail.

You didn't have a hand in designing JPA did you?

[SirPercyWare-Armitag]

Why worry about kitchen knives when all officers' have their own sword provided by Messers Wilkinson?

[BEagle]

Apostrophe Abuse Alert!!

Flailing aboiut with a sword or other mediaeval relic attempting to play the part of an amateur sabreur might get you mistaken for some mononeuronic clown of the Umpty-Umpth Queens Own Chinless Pwancers if you're not careful!

I was always briefed that the noise of a champoo bottle being opened should be as discrete as a duchess farting. Pops and bangs were for the lower orders.

Perhaps you could find a convenient ship to break it against? Better not use one of the Grey Funnel Line's little things though - you might put a dent in it!

[airborne_artist]

And the reason Beags, as an experienced hand you will know, is that if the poo is popped with an almighty bang, the CO2 is then largely out of solution, and you might as well be drinking something with no bubbles.

Cool the bootle fast, crack the cork as gently as possible, pour it fairly slowly and into the side of the glass, and your drinkers will have the taste the maker intended.

[BEagle]

And twist the bottle from the cork, not the cork from the bottle!

Use tall flutes, not those lower class 'cocktail' glasses often provided.

[WhiteOvies]

BEagle is spot on as usual - the whole point of a flute is to try and keep as much of the fizz in the champers as possible. Have to admit that my best man took my sword off me fairly shortly after the photos to make sure it wasn't nicked when we went in to the dinner. An acqauintance had his borrowed sword nicked in London after a wedding and was billed by the RN for a replacement. At £1500 a pop its an expensive risk.

[teeteringhead]

And to fine tune a_a's excellent advice ....

... however carefully you pour, the first tranche may foam alarmingly. Let it be and go on to the other glass. Once sides are wetted, overflow is unlikely.

At least the way Brits drive at Grands Prix, there is little chance of seeing one's countrymen abusing the Widow (or whatever) in front of millons.....

[RayDarr]

A quick look on EBAY under "RAF Swords" will pull up some chap in Elgin and another in Saltash selling replica RAF Swords. They look very good and go for about £120 each. Almost worth buying one for the wedding and chucking it away afterwards at that price.
I believe they are made in India and imported via the USA. Every young Pilot Officer should have one.

[Skunkerama]

I've tried the Champagne sword technique several times (no I don't believe I showed Lo Ball). It works every time.
But you need to:

Be firm with the striking action, no limp wrists, else you'll just look even more daft in front of the crowd.

Don't try to hard otherwise you'll smash half the neck off of the bottle.
Smooth but firm.

Use a heavy blade. I've only ever used one of my heavier Global knives and a "Pussers" Ceremonial Dirk (think it is called something like that).

To be honest though it is a bit over the top and is the kind of thing you do when you have had a few too many and think it/you will look really clever. It isn't and you don't.

Just a point of note. In some countries it is deemed very bad luck if the champagne bubbles are allowed to spill over the sides of the flute on the first pour, whatever you are celebrating will not come to fruition.

And if pouring for two in a romantic style, you must keep eye contact from picking up the flute until after the first sip. Something about the love not lasting or some tosh...never really listened to her to be honest.

If you must practice then try it on a bottle of Friexenet, cheap and a cheerfull taste, and if it's good enough for Valentino Rossi and co then thats all thats needed.

[Dan Winterland]

When I got married, Brampton had run out of swords, so they gave me the AOCs sword on the strict instructions it was not to leave the scabbard.

Cut the cake and opened champagne with it!

[TMJ]

While I was at Honington a Royal Yeomanry Captain with the JNBCR taught a number of people in the Mess bar how to acheive this feat; unfortunately, given the number of bottles opened successfully (and not so successfully) in the process I only have other people's assurance that I actually managed the feat...

As to why; yes, it may not be good for the wine, but it's more stylish...

[ExGrunt]

A. I agree with Beags as to the correct deployment of fizz.
B. However was taught this at a dinner at the Ecole Militiare at Coëtquidan:
The science of it is that you are trying to induce a stress fracture in the bottle.
Low ball nearly has it right, but is missing a key step:

1. Remove all foil from top of bottle
2. Remove wire holding cork into bottle
3. Avoid shaking the bottle in your excitment
4. Identify seam on bottle. All bottles made in 2 halves so there should be 2 seams 180 deg opposite each other. Run thumb round neck to help identify the seam.

For maximum effect (sword only):
4.a Place the bottle on a suitable table.
4.b Hold the sword so that it is on contact with the seam about 2-3 inches from the tip. Stroke up and down the seam firmly but smoothly 4-5 times from about 1/4" below the neck to about 1 1/2" below the neck. On the last stroke sharply bring the blade up to tap the neck. The induced stress will cause the cork and neck to detach from the bottle.


It may take one or 2 goes before you get it right. Best to have a practice somewhere quiet first.

This is a clear indicator of not properly stressing the bottle.

All the best

EG

[c-bert]

Never opened champers with a sabre, but an oppo of mine did open a bottle of Heineken with a 1 wood if that counts? Took the top clean off as well...:ok:

[Mead Pusher]

TMJ

I remember that night at Honington... well, the start of it anyway! Great fun - that's what jointery should be all about. :)

[mukit]

Ponce

:)

[mgdaviso]

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread, our ball was a great success and I only had one miss-fire with the champers.

Can't believe it as I did it first time on the asti as a practice as well!

still we were all pretty mashed by the time we got to the champers.

[beardy]

It seems highly likely that the 'trick' originated with German Celtic tribes about 2000 years ago when they ceremoniously hacked off the tops of amphorae of wine. There is an archeaological site near the Danube littered with lots and lots of hacked off tops and evidence of spilled wine

They liked a drink in those days!

[STAN DEASY]

Remember doing this at Portland (Ahh happy days) with a sword that had been presented to a colleague by HRH. Son of said personage ambles by and comments on quality of sword to be met with the response 'Yeah your Mum gave it to me!"

A visiting crab was much taken with the concept and after intense coaching decided it would be a great wheeze at happy hour that Friday. Sadly he did not heed all the advice (He was a crab after all) and found himself having to pay for extensive repairs to the Wilkinson sword of peace on Monday!.

[professor moriarty]

What are you doing wearing a sword at a ball?
All that Pirates of the Caribbean stuff will scare the memsahib.

[Washington_Irving]

Think I might practice on a couple of bottle of asti spew-manti first!
The only problem is how to buy them without getting noticed....:\
thanks LB

I'm sure there's a ready stock to be had in the mess at Leeming. They're normally too into the Babysham there to touch the 'hard stuff'.

You don't even need a big/sharp knife, let alone a sword. In an emergency (sat among a gaggle of female American college students) I once used a regular dinner knife and managed 6 bottles without any adverse effect.

If past experience has taught me anything though, it's that it does help to be already trousered before you try this. It's one of those rare skills (like knocking a pint glass off a table and catching it before it hits the floor without spilling a drop, or driving a school bus) that actually improves with alcohol consumption.

In the words of Rowley Birkin, QC "Of course, I freely admit, I was very, very, very drunk."