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View Full Version : Not now darling .....I'm having my colonic


tart1
23rd Apr 2006, 20:24
My Osteopath (who I visit regularly for such simple ailments as tennis elbow and frozen shoulder) had branched out into colonic irrigation.

I have often thought that colonic irrigation sounds (in theory) to be a very healthy and cleansing thing to do.

But if you Google 'Colonic Irrigation' there is still plenty of advice telling you that it can be dangerous and is ineffective.
Anybody got any personal experience. :ooh:

ExSimGuy
23rd Apr 2006, 20:28
NO !:confused:

Saintsman
23rd Apr 2006, 20:31
How do you suddenly decide that colonic irrigation is a good profession to be in?

Some sort of perversion I think.

sixmilehighclub
23rd Apr 2006, 20:47
I try anything once.

Did it three times and yes it is helpful, providing you change your eating habits a little.

Things like cutting down dairy and red meats help the digestive system.

If you're dieting to lose weight, it can gelp kickstart the process.

Can be a little uncomfortable if you are stressed as stress affects the nerve endings in the stomach and intestine (just consider the queues for the loos prior to exams and flights, etc to see how nerves affect our bowels). But this is good as it has a better effect.

A good sign (for anyone considering going) is if the practicioner works full time but is booked up months in advance. Usually they have a base of clientele which have regular appointments, and you may have to wait as a new client to get a space.

Right then, off for some dinner.......

:yuk: ;)

BALIX
23rd Apr 2006, 21:09
Can be a little uncomfortable

No shit Sherlock...

scruggs
23rd Apr 2006, 21:12
I've often thought how people venture into these strange professions. It must be vocational, I wouldnt imagine you just wake up one morning and decide you wanna squirt water up peoples backsides.

Some kids wanna grow up to be pilots or doctors. Others want to grow up to squirt water up arses. Each to his/her own I say.

alwayzinit
23rd Apr 2006, 21:22
Just imagine if too much irrigation is used... how bad would your breath smell!

On that note I'm off for a curry.

alwayzinit

tart1
23rd Apr 2006, 21:25
Well thanks for all those serious replies.

My fault for asking on JB I suppose!! :uhoh:

B Fraser
23rd Apr 2006, 21:28
JB = Jetwash Bowels :ooh:

Noah Zark.
23rd Apr 2006, 21:30
The thought does occur: Who first thought of doing it, and why? :uhoh: :\ :yuk:

BALIX
23rd Apr 2006, 21:55
I personally baulk at the thought of moist toilet tissue so I'm afraid colonic irrigation is right out.

People actually pay a lot of money for this :confused:

tilewood
23rd Apr 2006, 22:01
Wasn't it favoured by Princess Di - of blessed memory?

G-CPTN
23rd Apr 2006, 22:02
I've often thought how people venture into these strange professions. It must be vocational,
Was at school (same class) as a boy whose AMBITION was to be a mortuary attendant. He got a place at the local hospital on 'work experience' in the morgue which only strengthened his resolve, and he left school and went to work there full time.
He DID have a pallor and a cold handshake . . .

Romeo Charlie
23rd Apr 2006, 22:03
Interestingly (or strangely...) I was discussing this in the pub last night with a mate who's going to have it done. He claims that it can really flush out a load of undigested matter that accumulates over the years in little pockets in the system. He said he saw a documentary that showed a 25 year old who had it done and a marble that he swallowed when he was 5 was found in the residue.

Maybe there's something in it if you'll pardon the pun?

G-CPTN
23rd Apr 2006, 22:08
Before a barium meal they give you some preparation which clears the tubes (and the buses too, believe me).

Onan the Clumsy
24th Apr 2006, 01:22
Instead of going the whole hog like that, perhaps you should start off with a semi-colonic irrigation

Jerricho
24th Apr 2006, 01:32
Bah.........getting water squirted up yer ass? No need.

I just wait for the MIL to visit. She really gives me the shits.

Standard Noise
24th Apr 2006, 01:57
Oh you poor boy, mine only makes my ears bleed!:ouch:

allan907
24th Apr 2006, 02:56
I understand that Tony Blair had one recently and, having been cleaned out, all they could see was the soles of John Prescott's boots!

Buster Hyman
24th Apr 2006, 03:22
:ugh: "They don't like it up 'em Mr. Mannering!"

Hobo
24th Apr 2006, 04:44
Feel like the bottom's falling out of your world?

Try colonic irrigation, and you'll feel like the world's falling out of your bottom.

.....well someone had to say it.

G-CPTN
24th Apr 2006, 04:50
Ah! So . . . . .

acbus1
24th Apr 2006, 04:53
A good sign (for anyone considering going) is if the practicioner works full time but is booked up months in advance
Hmm.

Constipated diary.



My gut feeling (in the end) is that this is just money down the drain.

However cheap it is, it'll still be a bum deal.

I guess they'll always find stool pigeons willing to take it between the cheeks.

You've only yourselves to blame if you get [email protected] service.

G-CPTN
24th Apr 2006, 04:55
Aw - go on - splash out!

acbus1
24th Apr 2006, 05:14
What.....go with the flow?

Naw! I'm afraid it sucks!



Anyway, what's wrong with a few bottles of Special Brew and a vindaloo?

You wouldn't find any long lost marbles after that. Be dissolved, they would!

Krystal n chips
24th Apr 2006, 06:04
Delightful marketing term isn't it ?----sounds soooo much better than a plain old fashioned-----enema :rolleyes:

Can't see the point in paying for somebody to inflict this when a balanced diet has just the same effect. Mind you, I can't see the point in getting plastered in mud and chunks of cucumber to "tone up the skin" etc either or any other so called cosmetic "life enhancing activities"--other than to deplete one bank balance and enhance another of course. Just a passing fad really.

G-CPTN
24th Apr 2006, 06:51
Halt! Who goes there?
Friend, foe or enema?

acbus1
24th Apr 2006, 06:59
An enemy's enema is my friend.

tilewood
24th Apr 2006, 07:34
Up your pipe, laddie!!!:p

acbus1
24th Apr 2006, 07:45
........tha pipes, tha pipes are ca-a-a-a-a-allin'

*rushes to the loo, the noo*

Stafford
24th Apr 2006, 07:57
Mods

Please pull this thread..... There's far too much innuendo for my liking ! :}

Sorry Tart 1, but you were right about having misgivings raising a valid question on JB !? On a serious note, don't do it.

It's another luvvie idea which should only be carried out by properly qualified persons for medical reasons (I can't imagine what qualifications are needed though).

I bet Cherie Blair and her stupid lifestyle guru controlled ilk/sheep have it done daily, yet another reason not to do it.

Bahn-Jeaux
24th Apr 2006, 08:13
With friends like you lot, who needs enemas. :}

acbus1
24th Apr 2006, 08:31
That reminds me of the cannibal.





He dumped his best friend.

frostbite
24th Apr 2006, 12:05
A licquorice stick was quite good enough in my day.

Foss
24th Apr 2006, 12:16
What are you meant to do if there's a hosepipe ban? Sit on a sprinkler?
Oh hang on girls do that already
I leaving.. I'm leaving
Fos

acbus1
24th Apr 2006, 12:44
A licquorice stick was quite good enough in my day.
Yeh, but it leaves a black ring.

Not to mention the skid marks.

acbus1
24th Apr 2006, 12:46
I bet those colonic irrigation peeps make piles.

tall and tasty
24th Apr 2006, 13:53
Not personally but how many little creatures have suffered at my hands throughout the years doing this procedure. But it was not called colonic irrigation it has a much more exotic name beginning with the letter E :}

But if you actually read what is involved with humans and knowing the pressure that is involved on your internal walls and lining, I would not go there in a million years. you are also letting yourself be exposed to stuff that will be forced in the wrong direction.

Eat a healthy diet, include pleanty of fruit and veg and even dried fruits like apricots and prunes and you will never need to have one of these

TnT

rubik101
24th Apr 2006, 14:06
Has any other mammal that crawled out of the primeaval swamp seen the need to resort to squirting huge quantities of warm water up their fundamental orifice in order to rid the body of it's waste products?
I thought not! So why on earth would we want to do such a thing?
Vindaloo and Guinness work for me every time.

G-CPTN
24th Apr 2006, 14:34
The fascination with waste products by medicos in Regency times as an indicator of the correct functioning of the digestive system was probably well-founded, but total-evacuation seems only appropriate as a prelude to anal sex.
Maybe THAT'S why these folks indulge?

Can't see it doing much for your tennis elbow, tart1 . . .

Krystal n chips
24th Apr 2006, 16:24
Has any other mammal that crawled out of the primeaval swamp seen the need to resort to squirting huge quantities of warm water up their fundamental orifice in order to rid the body of it's waste products?
.

Best definition of any and all politicians thoughts I've heard in years ! :ok: :E

B Fraser
24th Apr 2006, 16:48
I believe it is not difficult to learn, it's an alimentary procedure :}

tilewood
24th Apr 2006, 18:18
"My dear Watson!" :p

ExSimGuy
24th Apr 2006, 18:46
Eat a healthy diet, include pleanty of fruit and veg and even dried fruits like apricots and prunes and you will never need to have one of these
TnTHow about, Plenty of nearly-raw beef, not too much that's green or red, pint of ice-cream at a sitting, and lots of butter and Marmite on bread (or toast), all washed down with 5 pints a night of yeast-containing real ale?:O