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View Full Version : Which is the Chavviest city in the UK?


skyjunky
19th Apr 2006, 08:30
I think Middlesbrough is the chavviest city in the whole of the UK. There is always a queue at the Elizabeth Duke counter in Argos and I think Burberry baseball caps form part of the standard school uniform in most of the comprehensives.
Fellow Jet Blasters, is your city chavvier than The 'Boro ? I challenge you to prove it!!!

Whirlygig
19th Apr 2006, 08:32
It's not quite a city but have you ever been to Didcot? Harlow must come a close second with Bracknell and Swindon not far behind!

Cheers

Whirls

Edited to add Eastleigh!

angels
19th Apr 2006, 08:50
Grays, Essex.

Parapunter
19th Apr 2006, 08:55
I used to work in Grays, years back & it certainly displays chavnicity, although since they threw up (!) Chafford hundred housing estate, it seems to be more aspirational.

Littlehampton takes some beating, locally, they call it LA & for good reason too, pimped up Nova's, teen mums & random kickings round the town. The one & only time I went for a beer in LA, the coppers were dragging a bloke out the pub as we went in. Hmmm

Although, I do think any chav town is a tragedy in it's own right - they weren't always like that & the huggy fluffy social policy & industrial decline across this country inevitably bears it's own fruit.

Phew, I came over all Draper for a moment there...:suspect:

Doors to Automatic
19th Apr 2006, 09:11
I used to work in Grays, years back & it certainly displays chavnicity, although since they threw up (!) Chafford hundred housing estate, it seems to be more aspirational.
Littlehampton takes some beating, locally, they call it LA & for good reason too, pimped up Nova's, teen mums & random kickings round the town. The one & only time I went for a beer in LA, the coppers were dragging a bloke out the pub as we went in. Hmmm
Although, I do think any chav town is a tragedy in it's own right - they weren't always like that & the huggy fluffy social policy & industrial decline across this country inevitably bears it's own fruit.
Phew, I came over all Draper for a moment there...:suspect:

It's more the huggy fluffy social policy. Industrial decline might have been an excuse in the North up to the mid 1990s but now there are jobs available to anyone willing to get of their lazy fat @rses and put in a day's graft.

beana
19th Apr 2006, 09:15
Stevenage in Hertfordshire, it is chav central. The town centre has to be seen to be believed.

Once in Woolworths, a chav came in with his rottweiler, let it do its business on the floor and then ran out laughing whilst everyone stood there laughing?

Practically everyone wears shiny designer tracksuits with a ton of jewellrey and tightly pulled back hair- kids too.

Oh and all you hear are shouts and screams of 'oi get back ere Mercedes, oi shut it Davidoff' 'oi chandelier, put that back'

Parapunter
19th Apr 2006, 09:17
Heh heh, I grew up near Stevenage & that's spot on - although, the big problem with that place was that as a new town, people were displaced from London after the war & felt totally rootless - I believe at one time, it had the highest suicide rate in the UK. In fairness, the old town is lovely & they have made a big effort with that leisure park thing over Gunnells Wood way?

tony draper
19th Apr 2006, 09:24
One came to the conclusion a while back that unbeknownst to Science and Anthropologists a seperate species has been evolving alongside us,they are not of the great ape common ancester like us,but probably decended from the Baboon line,they can be seen on those morning television confrontation and humiliation programs such as are fronted by the Jerremy Kyle person every day, there can be no doubt ,they are not the same species as oneself or any other prooner for that matter.
:rolleyes:

joe2812
19th Apr 2006, 09:25
Gt Yarmouth in Norfolk :(

acbus1
19th Apr 2006, 09:27
Go-o-o-o-o-o-od it's sad. :(

Still, they seem happy enough. :confused:

beana
19th Apr 2006, 09:33
Parapunter! I agree, the old town is lovely and yes there are efforts over at the leisure park- iv had some funny nights out there!
The town centre is great- it has everything and theres a trillion pound refurb about to start. Just a shame about the chavs!!

B Fraser
19th Apr 2006, 09:46
Phew, I came over all Draper for a moment there...:suspect:

I had to read that twice :}

If a chavette has a difficult birth,is it because the kid was wearing too many sovereigns ?

I drove through the Gorbals in Glasgow a few weeks back and a ned dressed in the traditional white tracksuit, gold chains, cap on back to front etc, etc, I reckon he was in his 60's. :yuk:

Parapunter
19th Apr 2006, 09:50
There's a book called crap towns what I've got somewhere that goes on about chav towns & I found http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/ this!

BALIX
19th Apr 2006, 09:58
Oi, this isn't fair. We don't have chavs up here, we have neds. There are plenty of ned towns but my vote goes to Irvine.

markflyer6580
19th Apr 2006, 10:19
Come to hull (ull) all the other towns are cheap imitations,just like the burberry they wear!

www.chavscum.co.uk

Gainesy
19th Apr 2006, 10:22
What is an "Argos"?:confused:

Buster Cherry
19th Apr 2006, 10:27
Plagiarised from `Urban Dictionary.com`
Chav
Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:

Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents.

Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Argos).

Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist. They see their life as glamorous and cool.

Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.

All chavs think that they are nails (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nails). Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will only break a sweat if running from the police.

Chavs are incredibly fertile beasts, and are highly successful breeders. Where they come unstuck is having to look after the offspring (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=offspring) which their 13 yr old drunken fumble produces. More often that not the child will crow to be a Chav, having received no more guidance on life than the parent.

Chavs have a fond love for cars, as well as a Vin Diesel (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vin+Diesel) fixation. Rather than buy a nice car to start with, a chav will spend all their dole and tax-free labouring cash on upgrading a 10 year old car with 200,000 miles on the clock. The end product will invariably be a luminous monstrosity with at least one serious collision to it's name.

joe2812
19th Apr 2006, 10:43
Programme on tv few weeks back about chavs. General feeling from the chavs was that everyone else was jealous of them as they are enjoying their life in their own way.

Apparently chavs represent the working class and we're all snobs.

Seems to me the new working class should be called the Non-Working class. :confused:

Safety_Helmut
19th Apr 2006, 10:53
Without any doubt, the award has to go to Telford. Just visit the shopping centre to see why.

I think the origins of Chav are a bit vague. I remember seeing an interview on TV with the Principal of Cheltenham ladies College, she insisted that her grils had not coined the phrase to describe the people of the area: CHeltenham AVerage.

S_H

bar fly
19th Apr 2006, 10:57
Without any doubt, the award has to go to Telford. Just visit the shopping centre to see why.


I totally agree! And I believe it either has or had the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in England, and England has the worst overall rate in Europe!

:eek:

lexxity
19th Apr 2006, 11:00
I thought the award for teen pregnancy was Rotheram.

Sixmilehigh had a good definition of Chav the other day, please can you refresh my memory?

airborne_artist
19th Apr 2006, 11:09
It's not quite a city but have you ever been to Didcot?

They might think they are chavs, but the Didcot lads and lasses are very soft compared to anything Middlesborough or Tyneside produces. My three daughters all go to school in Didcot - remarkably it has an all-girls comprehensive. The school regularly beats most others in the county for results, and people from Oxford fight tooth and nail to get their daughters into it. Daughter #1 got 8 A*s and 3 As at GCSE, and she was not the leading pupil by some distance.

Hastings is a town I'd cheerfully never visit again - very run down.

Parapunter
19th Apr 2006, 11:14
Hastings is just awful - full of chavs & Meridian news would be 2 minute bulletins without Hastings.

tony draper
19th Apr 2006, 11:15
One once saw a Pakistani skin head in Middlesbourgh, one kids you not,rolled up jeans with wide braces Doc Martin boots shaved noginn swastika tattoos the lot.
Now he had definatly integrated
:uhoh:

acbus1
19th Apr 2006, 11:22
Pakistani.........swastika tattoos
Didn't know they did white tattoos. :ooh:

I was going to say he sounds like a N**i piece of work, but why guarantee deletion....as it is I'm flirting with it. :rolleyes:

ex_matelot
19th Apr 2006, 11:29
I vote Plymouth and here is what I wrote about it on chavscum.com a few years ago!!

http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=290

:ok:

Flypuppy
19th Apr 2006, 11:30
Coventry must get a mention, horrid place.

In Scotland Ned Central is Cumbernauld, although Kirkintilloch is not far behind. :bored:

Nighttime in Downtown Kirkintilloch, at St Mary's car park, two young men are standing beside their cars chatting:
"Haw! Wur yoo oot wi Biscuit oan Friday night?"…
"Nah boss, ah was wi Noodle in 'es ford escort."…
"Did the polis catch ye?
Ah hud tae pure bolt, cos know how ah thiefdeeded that motur last time? Ah'd've been banged up fur ****in' ages so ah wid've".

Every night in Kirkie is boy racer night and everyone is invited to watch and avoid being run over. Persons in the Mainstreet after 6pm can enjoy the sounds of turbo engines and classic car thumping tunes that are turned up at traffic lights. As well as this you can check out the racers bored looking orange and bottle blonde girlfriends sitting in the back of the car chewing gum. St Marys is the 'pit stop' where conversations like the one above take place before the racers set off for a few more laps of the town centre.

tilewood
19th Apr 2006, 12:33
Gotta be Sarfend Essex, innit?!!

Although perhaps chavs are too
aspirational for Southend. :rolleyes:

tart1
19th Apr 2006, 13:12
lexxity someone the other day said that they thought it originated from 'Council House And Violent'.

Thought that was interesting. :hmm:

tony draper
19th Apr 2006, 13:54
What the hell has happened to our country? most of the towns mentioned were decent enough places in the sixties and seventies,we took a wrong turning somewhere along the line my friends ,thats for feckin sure.
Theres a council estate not far from me where I used to install/service Tellies in the late sixties early seventies,it was excellent,well tended gardens and homes,drove past it a few months ago and it looked like feckin Beruit,houses all boarded up,gardens like council tips ,all deserted now,.they are going to demolish it,or may already have done so for all I know,there was nothing wrong with the housed good solid semi detached dwellings from the fifties the kind southern folk pay half a million for now.
Buggah ! sometimes one despairs. :(

acbus1
19th Apr 2006, 13:58
Thing is, how's it going to end?

Civil War?

Rabid gangs looting and pillaging?

No-go ghettos becoming ever larger?

I mean, it ain't getting better, that's for sure.

Parapunter
19th Apr 2006, 14:00
When I lived in the toon Tony, you could buy a street in Benwell for a tenner - really, you could:( Is it any better now? I recall being on the ale on the night of the riots in Fenham/Scottswood/Benwell & Whitley Bay (it was the same night wasn't it?) & being amazed at what was going on - I'd spent the afternoon in Fenham & there was no way of knowing what was brewing up that hot summers day. I suppose for Newcastle, it was the death of the shipyards & everything that went with them - I remember being appalled at the state of Wallsend the first time I saw it & I was told in no uncertain terms that only a few years before it was a great place to live.

As for spooky mr CB, I grew up in Welwyn & now live in Worthing, so how about that then? Frying pan to fire - truth is, I can't afford a nice place in Brighton.:{

frostbite
19th Apr 2006, 15:00
"Gotta be Sarfend Essex, innit?!!"

Your fergettin' Basildon, and stuff.

perusal
19th Apr 2006, 18:27
I agree with Flypuppy - Cumbernauld is a real hole.

Paisley is worth driving through and not stopping

tall and tasty
19th Apr 2006, 18:30
CRAWLEY
:ouch:

TnT:}

tilewood
19th Apr 2006, 18:47
Frostbite:

' Basildon and stuff ' says it all!! :p

A V 8
19th Apr 2006, 18:51
Got to agree with Perusal and Flypuppy about Cumbernauld and Paisley, but there's a fair share of neds in East Kilbride - what a sh*thole! Apologies if any of you are from EK!

I now live near Telford in Shropshire. Lovely county, just a shame about Telford! I think it was once voted the chaviest place in the UK!

(Sorry! Just noticed Telford has already been mentioned!)

Oxeagle
19th Apr 2006, 19:10
Hmm I really don't know what has gone wrong with this country, I don't remember there being any chavs upto a few years ago, then suddenly theyre multiplying like a plague. I blame this on tony blair turning this country into a nanny state. Everywhere you go there are chavs; you can't even escape them in the small and (previously) peaceful village that I live in. And as for the town I work in, Faringdon, the whole town is inbred :yuk: ! If a chav takes insult to you, and gets his relatives after you, you suddenly find you've got half the town after you!

And people ask me why I want to leave this country :}

rab-k
19th Apr 2006, 20:27
Are we restricted to 'Chavs' or can 'Neds' be included?

Glasgow gets my vote if we can. (Closely followed by anywhere in Ayrshire).

Mummy and Daddy must be so proud...

http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk/pictures/nedGal11_2.jpg http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk/pictures/nedGal21.gif

http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk/

http://www.chavscum.co.uk/

edusaeanna
19th Apr 2006, 21:07
What frightens me is that they are breeding many times faster than the rest of us! :eek: :eek: :eek:

Noah Zark.
19th Apr 2006, 21:10
What is an "Argos"?:confused:

It's one o' vem big cooker fingies, innit.

tilewood
19th Apr 2006, 21:51
What frightens me is that they are breeding many times faster than the rest of us! :eek: :eek: :eek:

In that case it's time to remedy the situation.....any one fancy breeding?!! :p

Duchess_Driver
19th Apr 2006, 22:17
A dole payment is now, apparently, referred to as a "Chavellers Cheque!".

Remember the "toon" well too. Was passing through Wallsend at Christmas on the way to see 'me mah' and it is still Sh1tsville. But at least all the ladies were posh....thier tattoos are all spelt correctly!

DG101
19th Apr 2006, 22:34
I notice a matlot has proposed Plymouth as the top contender for this dubious title, but I'm surprised no one has, so far, mentioned the other civitas that boasts a population that contains a large number of seamen; to wit - Portsmouth, and it's near neighbour, God's Port. Is there a connection? I think we should be told.

Of course, if there exists a Chavviest place, then there must exist a place, at the other end of the scale, that qualifies as the least chav locality. Do I hear any nominations?

Jerricho
19th Apr 2006, 22:39
I second the Lofty One's nomination of Crawley.

Had the pleasure of going there a couple of times (there was a bike shop there that I ordered a specific part for my pushie). Fark me, wall to wall Chav-scum. I was genuinely scared to park my car with the fear of returning and finding it up on blocks and all the badges taken off.

tall and tasty
19th Apr 2006, 22:48
Had the pleasure of going there a couple of times (there was a bike shop there that I ordered a specific part for my pushie). Fark me, wall to wall Chav-scum. I was genuinely scared to park my car with the fear of returning and finding it up on blocks and all the badges taken off.Hate to say it nothing has changed and you don't go there Friday or Sat nights or you get caught up in the night life

BUT saying that the Firestation is a nice place to hang out at least you feel safe there.:E

TnT

Crepello
20th Apr 2006, 05:57
They don't call it Creepy Crawley for nothing. Or nuffing. Nor nuffink, indeed.

On very rare occasions, I get a tad homesick. This thread is the perfect antidote - keep it up folks! :ok:

Tuba Mirum
20th Apr 2006, 06:01
From World Wide Words (http://www.worldwidewords.org/topicalwords/tw-cha2.htm):
Chav is almost certainly from the Romany word for a child, chavi, recorded from the middle of the nineteenth century. We know it was being used as a term of address to an adult man a little later in the century, but it hasnít often been recorded in print since and its derivative chav is new to most people.
And can I be the first (and probably the only one) to say something in favour of Stevenage? The town hosts a brass band contest once a year in March, so can't be all bad in my book ;) .

Buster Cherry
20th Apr 2006, 06:09
`The town hosts a brass band contest once a year in March, so can't be all bad in my book ;) .[/quote]

If its the kind of Brass I`m thinking of......:E

TopBunk
20th Apr 2006, 06:58
I heard that CHAV = Council House Active Villain....

Gainesy
20th Apr 2006, 08:29
I'm told that Crawley was once a very nice place. (That'd be when Gatwick was a racecourse). :rolleyes:

It went downhill fast after local kids copied some Oz tin pusher coming out of a bike shop.:E

The SSK
20th Apr 2006, 08:53
Wallsend
Wallsend
Nice to see my home town mentioned twice. It was pretty run-down the last time I saw it, about 15 years ago, but it was never rough or dangerous - despite what Sting claimed in his autobiography.

Halfbaked_Boy
20th Apr 2006, 08:54
Daventry (a.k.a. 'Chaventry') gets my vote.

perusal
20th Apr 2006, 10:08
Here's a challenge:

Name a town/city with well-behaved yoof that don't get pished/steal cars/race cars through the street/hang around on street corners being little w:mad:ers etc...

Live in Strathclyde so can't think of one within 60 miles

angels
20th Apr 2006, 10:22
My dad lives in Seaford in West Sussex.

The biggest danger you get there are drivers who don't indicate and the infamous Doris (MkIII version).

beana
20th Apr 2006, 11:06
Perusal - i can honestly say that the last few times i have been to Tintagel in Cornwall, i have not seen one chav! Howsabout that then..:O

ex_matelot
20th Apr 2006, 11:29
DG101,

Re the connection with chav towns and naval bases...
Read my chavscum article..

PLYMOUTH-JANNERGEDDON!!!!!!
_POSTEDON by supermatelot
[ Edit | Delete ]


supermatelot _WRITES "I have had the misfortune to have to live and work in this godforsaken,burberry infested,inbred shithole for 12 years now!
Where shall I start,I originally come from near manchester which I admit,has a significant chav element.There is only one major difference that truly sets Plymouth apart though..the chavs in Plymouth ARE thick as f**k.chavdom for a janner in Keyham(Plymouth) starts at the age of 10 where they start guarding the entrance to the costcutter like a gang of rabid meercats in baseball caps,although they try to effect a 'Gangsta'accent,they find this especially difficult because they speak fu**ing janner anyway.The 'burrrds' start at the same age,bright orange faces,ponytails exhorting 250lbs psi pressure on their scalp,aloready 'boasting'how many times they've been raped!!!By the age of 14,most janner chavs are well known to the police and social services,they are already regulars at ''dance academys''(note the 's' is added on the end)where they sniff poppers and drop E's.Acting hard is a must for a janner chav but having led a life fed on KFC and 'paasties'they rarely have the bodymass to pull this off.This is especially amusing when confronted by a gang of E'd up chavs because it's a fine opportunity to tw*t 5 of them in a one-er!We also have the 'chavelry'-18-20yr olds WHO STILL THINK ITS COOL TO RIDE A BMX OR SKATEBOARD!!!!,as ive said,they are thick as f**k.Its impossible to make any purchase in a Plymouth shop in under 15mins on a lottery day,swarms of chavs,generations of them!gather using primevil instincts and descend on the shops of Plymouth where after taking 10 mins to actually realise what the f**k they are doing there in the first place decide to put on their 'lotteries'.This is especially painful because the shop assistants are chavs also and dont have the IQ to work the till until a supervisor comes along and shows them.
One major chav area in Plymouth is St Budeaux,here the burrds are mothers by the age of 14-15,often having kids to multiple fathers (its a wonderful life)A strict area-wide babysitting roster is adhered to in order to enable the burrds to go down to Jesters 5 nights a week in the hope of getting pregnant by a Matelot and thus securing more benefits and chav kudos.*All chav buurrds in Plymouth (98%female population of Plymouth) will,within the first week of a relationship tell you either a)their last boyfriend was a drug dealer and knocked her around b)She has been raped c)her last boyfriend raped her d)she has attempted suicide e)all of the above.Getting engaged is expected after 6 weeks of chavs starting to shag each other.All janner chavbirds have aspirations of studying 'childcare' at Plymouth college,one major drawback-due to having to leave school aged 14 to care for their own babies,they cannot f*****g write!
Chav lads in Plymouth have several major ambitions,the main one is to be a happy 'ardcore DJ at Acadamies,also either working for taxi-fast or any fast food outlet,the latter is more taxing for the Janner chavs due to the fact that the Turkish illegal immigrants, who cant speak English,have the edge on them!!
To summarise,Plymouth is a cancerous polyp on the anus of Devon,the locals dont have the intelligence to run their own town so the armed forces have to provide the economy.The best (and most amusing) way to survive a stint in Plymouth is to observe a zero-tolerance policy on any visible chavness...Burberry+BMX or skateboard =chav=just t**t the fu**er anyway!!!"

Ya see, us matelots police these chavvy areas:ok:

(must say im quite proud of that piece!)

c-bert
20th Apr 2006, 11:36
When did 'salt o' the earth' become chav? That's what I want to know. :rolleyes:

perusal
20th Apr 2006, 11:36
Any Tintagelians care to comment??

Only a small village :) Good to know there's somewhere to go if all else fails