View Full Version : Joke?

Rick Storm
17th Apr 2006, 19:53
Joke or what? ...........


F**K me is this what their teaching the new *** to this country. I rest my case.

17th Apr 2006, 20:14
I'll tell you what the joke is. Someone who is employed on at least 20 grand a year (probably more) to produce that.

Anything to do with a Labour government?.......

17th Apr 2006, 20:18
There goes my blood pressure again!!!:*

17th Apr 2006, 20:26
Please don't be silly.

The British Council is a world-class player in teaching Engish as a second language. Its students (most of whom are abroad) may be adults or they may be very young. Teaching material is produced to suit the appropriate age range and cultural background.

The English language is one of this country's main assets. Don't knock the people who teach it all round the world.

17th Apr 2006, 20:37
is this what their teaching
I rest my case too m'lud!



2 sheds
17th Apr 2006, 20:37
F**K me is this what their teaching the new *** to this country. I rest my case.

On the subject of the English language, explain the use of "their" in the above sentence.

Bo Nalls
17th Apr 2006, 22:24
Found an aviation link on the site...


Groan :p

17th Apr 2006, 22:51
I'll second Raptor's words. Having taught courses in ESL and translation, I'll opine that as long as a certain method really works for the target audience, it may and should be practiced. And if a different social class doesn't accept it or finds it tasteless, it's none of their bloody business, sorry. There are people brought up on cartoons, and this fact may be a big problem of our society, but these people need to learn and to be taught, too.

17th Apr 2006, 22:56
Richard Scarry does wonderful 'encylopaedias' with 'foreign' language subtitles that are extremely memorable for learners, adult or otherwise. They ARE aimed at children (I think), but adult language learners aren't as clever as children.

17th Apr 2006, 23:05
If it's the bit about the chicken, I'd be more concerned if the chicken

18th Apr 2006, 04:14
Purely for my fans you understand...............


18th Apr 2006, 13:08
, it may and should be practiced.

In a thread concerning English language and grammar and, therefore, offering itself as an open window to pedants, might I suggest a check of the difference between "practice" (a noun) and "practise" (a verb).

Unless you're a septic*, natch.

'septic' = 'septic tank' = Yank.

I'll get me coat.

18th Apr 2006, 13:19
Why is it that lawyers and medics only practice? Don't they EVER learn?

18th Apr 2006, 14:14
I had this wonderful Bill Gates self-correcting program that, every time I typed either 'practice' or 'practise' would butt in with 'practice doctors.' I guess someone must have had a negative experience with going in for kidney stones and coming out with breast implants or something along those lines.

Then there was this persistent refusal to allow me to type anything small-case following a full stop which sort of played hell with the decimal points.

Now we have gone over to that open-source clone of 'Word' so that a certain amount of aggravation is absent from what passes for modern life.

18th Apr 2006, 18:03
As an ESL myself, may I add a few points:

Jokes are probably not the best way to learn the basics of any language. However, once a student is above a certain proficiency level, jokes, cartoons, irony not only aid in building on those basics but also help the student understand the culture of the country (as also indicated on that website).

In fact, since learning a language thoroughly is not only about being able to read, write, speak and listen, a student should not consider himself or herself fully proficient in a particular language unless he or she understands the jokes, the pun etc. in that language.

With respect to “their”: This indeed seems to be the most common mistake on PpruNe :8 , often committed by those ppruners that list the UK, US, CAN, OZ, NZ as there … umm … their … hang on … they’re … ah forget it …:p :p

18th Apr 2006, 18:06
The German sense of humour is no laughing matter . . .

Rick Storm
18th Apr 2006, 18:17
Whirlygig et al

Sorry about that, had just drunk a bottle of Sainsbury's Corbieres..£2.99 very nice.


18th Apr 2006, 18:28

The Real Slim Shady:8


18th Apr 2006, 18:34
Those were so lame:suspect:

19th Apr 2006, 14:35
There are lots of Germans with a sense of humour, actually. It is just that, in percentage terms, they are not all that numerous, I fear. Combine that with some of the niceties of English, or American even, and you are headed over the falls without your barrel nine times out of ten.

I had a LH hostie ask me once if I wanted some 'sallmon' when I said that, yes, some 'salmon' (with a silent 'L') would be very nice.

A short dialogue ensued, when she pointed out the presence in the word of the letter 'L' so that it must be there in the spoken word, nicht wahr?

I simply replied that we were talking without the 'L', were we not? Ah-hah'! Small clinking sound as the penny dropped...

The last time I used a joke with a German that had no obvious moving parts a major sh!t-storm ensued. Biiig sense of humour failure and now he hates me and I stink. So be it.

Ya wanna have a joke with a box-head, better flip it over first and show 'em the little lever on the bottom that makes the clown pop out of the box on cue. Then everyone stays friends.

Not to stray into forbidden fields here but one of the funniest and most popular German cabaret acts of the Thirties was quite deliberately hounded out of business by the Nazis, partly because some of them were Jewish and partly because they were funny. A whole segment of sophisticated German comedy culture was wiped out there, I think. Nowadays it can be just cream pies and pratfalls and variations on those themes, or so it seems to me.

If you get the chance do go and see a Woody Allen film dubbed into German. Unmissable! Funny too, but for perhaps the wrong reason. I would say more on this topic except that they know where I live.

19th Apr 2006, 14:43
One of the FUNNIEST 'joke' cards I saw (and bought) was in German.
Hospital casualty reception. Mouse (!) with (standard) mousetrap on mouse's nose. Receptionist says "Sie mussen mehr deutlich sprechen!" (Can you speak more clearly?). Still laugh my socks off at the memory of that!

19th Apr 2006, 14:57
And why would that be so funny?

Onan the Clumsy
19th Apr 2006, 15:02
MM Good one, but you missed the ":*" at the end

My favourite German Joke:

Q) "Why are there no asprins in the Amazon?"

A) "Because it is econimically impractical to sell pharmasuticals in a largely unpopulated region of the jungle."

19th Apr 2006, 15:41
Told to be by a German pen-friend (and it's my only football joke)

Who is the most hated person in Monchengladbach?

The person who shouts, "Gimme a B"



Rick Storm
19th Apr 2006, 16:38
German joke..............
Zwei alte Männer, die in den Klappstühlen sitzen. Ein alter Mann, der "ihm gesagt wird, ist aus" dem anderen alten Mann nett, der "Ihnen setzte gesagt wird es besser, weg, bevor jemand es" ha ha!!! sehen!


19th Apr 2006, 17:23
Was told (on TV) by Morecombe and Wise (in English).

Rick Storm
19th Apr 2006, 17:44
Very well spotted Sir, but on tv they never got to the 'punch line' having said that, 10/10


20th Apr 2006, 05:06
German joke..............
Zwei alte Männer, die in den Klappstühlen sitzen. Ein alter Mann, der "ihm gesagt wird, ist aus" dem anderen alten Mann nett, der "Ihnen setzte gesagt wird es besser, weg, bevor jemand es" ha ha!!! sehen!
As I don't "sprechen" Krautese, I turned to Babel Fish for a translation:
Two old men, who sit in the folding chairs. An old man, who is said "to him, is out" the other old man nice, "you set is said it better, away, before someone it" hectar hectar!!! see!
Now I understand why people say the Germans have no sense of humour - at least, not one that the rest of the world can understand:confused: