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colmac747
15th Apr 2006, 16:55
Right, ok..:rolleyes:

My mother-in-law (nice old dear she is too) is pretty religious and deeply believes Armageddon is just around the corner.
We've had many a convo about the subject, me rebuking her "nonsense", she clearly "believing".

So, is God's War on the way or is it just gobbledegook?!


I can't emphasize enough how much she believes it's on the way..


:ugh:

Grainger
15th Apr 2006, 16:56
Don't think so - but Deep Impact was on last night . . .

BlueDiamond
15th Apr 2006, 17:07
When she says, "Just around the corner" what are we talking about? A week ... a couple of months? Try to pin her down to a date and it'll be easy to see if she's right or not. Mind you, if things go according to legend, the end of the world follows closely upon the heels of Armageddon, so you might want to get a few beers in just in case your mum-in-law wins the bet and you might need to drink them a bit smart-ish. :ok:

ex_matelot
15th Apr 2006, 17:08
Utilise this opportunity to cancel any forthcoming visit she may have planned for christmas etc-afterall,it would be a waste of time!!

colmac747
15th Apr 2006, 17:11
Ha!

She believes sooner rather than later (whenever that will be):rolleyes:
She believes God will sort out all the troubles in the Mid-East.
She believes God will cleanse the planet.


I don't believe her;)

Utilise this opportunity to cancel any forthcoming visit she may have planned for christmas etc-afterall,it would be a waste of time!!

She's coming round tomorrow! EEEKKKK

ex_matelot
15th Apr 2006, 17:17
Well comfort yourself with the fact that she may well be right and God press may the battle overide switch at 2359z!!

ex_matelot
15th Apr 2006, 17:20
http://www.moviepostershop.com/item_img/hum92.jpg

Well,it is for Colmac who should now be scrubbin out to skipper's rounds standards for the forthcoming staff sea check!

BlueDiamond
15th Apr 2006, 17:23
Well, "sooner rather than later" is all pretty nebulous isn't it? On the grand scale of things, she could be talking in terms of millennia ... try to get a clear answer from her. Do I believe she's right? Absolutely not. People have been predicting the end of the world for so long haven't they and nobody has got it right yet.

tony draper
15th Apr 2006, 17:28
Meggidor certainly exists though it is a spacial reference not a temporal one,folks live there.
Our Sun will have used up all it hydrogen in about 5 billion years,the nuclear furnace will briefly go out,it will collapse to a desity under the gravity of its own mass, temperature and pressures will increace and said Sun will desperatly try and fuse helium into carbon, trying to keep its little family of planets and the critters thereupon warm, unfortunatly it will not succeed, and wil go KABOOM !!! blowing off a large amount of its mass incinerating all the inner planets in our solar system in the process, it will then commense to expand comsumming the what is left of said inner planets and become a Red Giant.
Armageddon.
I'm not that worried.
:rolleyes:

colmac747
15th Apr 2006, 17:29
I forgot to add she's a Jehovah's' Witness!:rolleyes:


:8

green granite
15th Apr 2006, 17:31
Ha!

She believes God will sort out all the troubles in the Mid-East.
She believes God will cleanse the planet.



Well teflon tony is doing his best :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Krystal n chips
15th Apr 2006, 18:08
A little music to, erm, support her theory for you ? ;)


http://www.thedickiesarchives.com/multimedia/lyrics/eodlyrics.htm


Actually, when you read the lyrics, not a lot as changed has it ?--and that's the really scary bit IMHO.

VFE
15th Apr 2006, 18:17
Gathered we were talking about a Jehovah....

Strictly speaking they believe the end could come in a myriad of forms such as disease (bird flu?), food shortage, earthquakes, crime, along with the nuclear annihilation theory which given Iran's insistance upon their own nuclear program and Bush flirting with the red button like the cowboy he is, it's a distinct possibility and always has been in the modern era, post 1914.

Certainly, it would be foolish to dismiss the doomy portents, as in essence it is designed to make us a more harmonious planet which is no bad thing. I can actually see some substance to the Jehovahs insistance that we're all going down the sink in a soup of trouble made by ourselves, yes I can.

Jehovahs Witnesses have made the observation that there was a change in the humanity tide around 1914. If you look at how we've 'progressed' to a planet obsessed with money which in turn causes anomosity amongst more religiously inclined races you can see that the scope for all out armegeddon is not as outlandish as it seems and one hopes that a more intelligent, harmonious race will form from the ashes, like the Jehovahs claim it will.

What is rather hard to accept is that overnight the believers will come back from the dead to help build this new, beautiful existance. The idea is built upon from the words of Jesus' disciples which over time have been interpreted in a number of different ways, it's always a little like Nostradamus in that sense, if you wish then you could read anything you like into it, given a firm belief. And that is the crux of all religious debating - this unquestionable 'belief'. My theory or 'belief' if you will, is that if the truth is before our eyes then belief is redundant, however, your Jehovahs Witness will tell you that the 'evidence' is surrounding us constantly in the birds, the bee's and the evil that mankind creates for itself....

Again, like most religions, it works on the fear principle which is the number one reason I'll be my own God and treat people how I wish to be treated myself and hopefully, should we all be missing the signs of a greater all powerful creator, he'll hopefully give us a reprieve for having been good folks.

Failing that it's hot curry with Satan for all eternity.... :\

VFE.

AnEviltwinEr
15th Apr 2006, 18:26
.
.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

There you go.

I forgot to add she's a Jehovah's' Witness!:rolleyes:

They! Don't mob them! Would you ever go around knocking on doors every day? On a sweaty summer, or a cold winter?

They must be the most persistent people on earth.

....And they're doing it for YOU.

:rolleyes:

Onan the Clumsy
15th Apr 2006, 18:29
The end of what?

Humans, Dinosaurs, The Incas, Me, Oxygen based life forms, The Arctic Ice Mass?

It's all relative and one thing that underlies it all is that there is always a balance that must be addressed. Sure we'll kill ourselves, we'll polute ourselves out of existance and change the planet in the process. Unfortunately we'll take a lot of species with us, but it's no different from what's gone on for millenia and will cointinue to go on. The atmosphere was methane once, until thyere were too many bugs and they destroyed themselves by changing the composition of the atmosphere. Perhaps that was their job, just as it is ours to put carbnon dioxide and CFC in there. Someday, someone may thank us as we should thank the species that came before us.

ExSimGuy
15th Apr 2006, 18:37
If I may dare to post a serious note, on your Mum-in-law's behalf, (on JB?!)

Jesus did tell us "you will not know the day that I am coming back", (copyright - The Bible ISBN: 0232516502:= ) so according to fairly orthodox Christian belief, she's right. Though personally, after 2000 years, I suspect the chances of it being during my short lifetime are quite low.

Though you may have noticed, through another thread, I'm not taking too many risks on that one;)

AnEviltwinEr
15th Apr 2006, 18:46
HAHA, i am a spy, arent i?

I found your bible:

http://isbn.nu/0232516502

(hmm, when you're searching for BIBLES, you KNOW you are bored to death.)

colmac747
15th Apr 2006, 19:31
Have to say, that's an excellent post VFE.

May even get MIL to read that;)

Capt. Queeg
15th Apr 2006, 20:14
if things go according to legend, the end of the world follows closely upon the heels of ArmageddonObviously it's not legend, it's prophecy. Bit of a diffeence there... and it's not the end of the world for everyone, just the morons who didn't believe.

Of course it might all be BS.

Why go to all the trouble of creating a world and a bunch of people and then go and destroy it all, having known from the start that it would happen that way...?

ShyTorque
15th Apr 2006, 21:34
"My mother-in-law (nice old dear she is too) is pretty religious and deeply believes Armageddon is just around the corner".

I got worried about this, so I checked around the corner. Chipshop to the right, Post office to the left. So, reassured that everthing's all right for the time being, I'll finish mowing the lawn tomorrow..

colmac747
15th Apr 2006, 21:48
LOL!;)
looking for 3712 lost posts
Maybe your Armageddon already arrived!

tony draper
15th Apr 2006, 23:04
She is right in a way of course, the world, the universe, and all that in them is will indeed end for us all, at some point, but not all at the same time though,oblivion calls, personel extinction becons, we all have a date to pass thriough our own little event horizon and cease to be, we will all become late prooners,nothing is more certain,we is indeed all doomed.
:E

Onan the Clumsy
16th Apr 2006, 02:35
I wish I had a chip shop around the corner, even one run by Pakis :p

BlueWolf
16th Apr 2006, 06:24
Indeed Drapes. The End becomes Nigh for a reasonably predictable number of individuals every day. Other than that, it isn't.

acbus1
16th Apr 2006, 06:32
Doesn't the Post Office represent Armageddon?

lloydsky
16th Apr 2006, 07:01
Interesting post...

I was raised as a JW and although I don't practise anymore, my beliefs still firmly lie in the religion.

And I would like to say that it is supplrisingly nice to see that the people on this thread have been curtious and respectful of JW's.

I think they are the only religion who have truly tried to actually study what the bible says. Not tried to change it or take parts out. Obviously there has to be some interpretation and this has been done based on masses of time researching. It all just makes sense to me.

Sorry for harping on but as usual people get mixed up with the beliefs. i.e.

Strictly speaking they believe the end could come in a myriad of forms such as disease (bird flu?), food shortage, earthquakes, crime, along with the nuclear annihilation VFE.

isn't true at all!

BlueDiamond
16th Apr 2006, 08:12
I think they are the only religion who have truly tried to actually study what the bible says.
There are followers of many religions out there who would take serious issue with that statement.

VFE
16th Apr 2006, 12:29
Sorry for harping on but as usual people get mixed up with the beliefs. i.e.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VFE
Strictly speaking they believe the end could come in a myriad of forms such as disease (bird flu?), food shortage, earthquakes, crime, along with the nuclear annihilation VFE.
isn't true at all!
I refer the right honourable gentleman to Matthew chapter 24, Mark chapter 13, and Luke chapter 21 where you can view the events that together make up the sign....

"There will be food shortages" Matthew (24:7)

"There will be great earthquakes" Luke (21:11)

"In one place after another, pestilences" Luke (21:11)

"Increasing of lawlessness" Matthew (24:12)

"Nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom" Matthew (24:7)

You say you don't practice anymore lloydsky, so I'll forgive your oversights and resist the urge to recommend you get back to Sunday school! ;)

VFE.

lloydsky
16th Apr 2006, 19:15
VFE

They are the signs thats the end is near but they aren't what will actually cause the end!

And Blue Diamond, I take your point but I said "I think" which means just my own personal belief I wouldn't ever suggest that I know anything for a fact! Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Unwell_Raptor
16th Apr 2006, 19:19
When I was at school in the mid-sixties one of these Messianic cults announced the end of the world for 11am our time on a Tuesday, to which end he and his pals ascended a mountain in (inevitably) the Appalachians to await the Lord.

The poor girl sitting in front of me spent the whole lesson reading her Bible under her desk lid.

The disciples trooped down the mountain the next morning and their spokesman said that it wasn't God's fault, but theirs for not reading the signs correctly.

As then, as now, as ever.

BlueWolf
17th Apr 2006, 02:46
All those things already happened, VFE, numerous times, and the world ploddeth on. ;)

RiskyRossco
17th Apr 2006, 12:29
The mountain Meggido is the focus of the prophecy. The armies of the Eastern confederacy march against Israel to finally try to wipe her out. The kings of Gog and Magog point to Russian and the rest of the world's governments marching to retaliate against the people of God who caused the seven plagues.
This is the final battle where all the armies against the Hebrews are drawn to Palestine to be wiped out prior to Christ's second coming.
The prophecy in Daniel chapt. 9 and 12 illustrate the time frame. Between the time of Christ's resurrection and His second coming 'shall not be known' but believers are to 'be ready in and out of season' because He will return like a thief in the night. Some scholars believe the month of Nisan, around which many significant events happened in Israel's history and Jesus' ministry, is highly likely. But still only speculation.

The JWs don't accept God's grace as sufficient, believing in 'doing works' instead of accepting the just shall live by faith, and refuse to believe Christ is on the heavenly throne.
Then there are the numerous failed prophecies made by the Watchtower society on Christ's second coming, all fly in the face of Scriptural authenticity.
Another problem the Watchtower media mill has is their conviction they have 'replaced' Israel because they believe God has given up on her.
Scripture clearly lays out that 'not one yot or one tittle shall pass from the Law till all these [promises to Israel] be fulfilled.' The Gentile church will be spared the Tribulation because the church is distinct from Israel. Israel itself is attacked at Meggido and ultimately is saved by God's armies. The 144,000 aren't the 'chosen few'. The Book of Revelation describes them as returning with Christ.

We are in the end times. Look at any major newspaper stories and compare them to the prophetic events, there's a striking similarity. 'Wars and rumours of wars', earthquakes, famines, pestilences, 'the love of many will grow cold'.
This last refers to people becoming indifferent to suffering in their and neighbouring countries.

The Real Slim Shady
17th Apr 2006, 12:50
Ah, but all this Armageddon business is rooted in Christianity.
What about the Buddhists? Do they have an equivalent or does the Buddha just lose weight?
And what about the Hindus? Or the Sikhs? Or the Muslims, both branches, Shia and Sunni,God Bless 'em?
And then of course there's yer Mormons,; alright, I'll give you that it's just another branch of Christianity with a penchant for promiscuity and walking around in suits wearing name badges, but, what's their take on Armageddon.
Then you've got the Jews; not exactly Christian but He was their King after all.
Rastafarians. Now there's a bunch who probably don't give a toss one way or the other they are so juiced.
Then you've got your Baha'i:they take a more practical approach and are probably building a shelter as we speak.
Take the followers of Shintoism:emphasises man's essential goodness which explains the atrocities commited by the Japanese in the last war, being as they are major exponents of said faith.
Then you've got Atheists, the non believers: what do they believe then?
And finally, the Paganists who probably don't give a monkeys so long as there are enough virgins to go round and they can all wear flowing robes and slap on the old facepaint.
Now where was I?

1DC
17th Apr 2006, 12:51
This is getting to be a bit of a worry, another decision to make.
Do I take my holidays early this year or not??

VFE
17th Apr 2006, 16:49
All those things already happened, VFE, numerous times, and the world ploddeth on. ;)
Exactly!

I'm not a believer - was merely pointing out the signs to which the JW's refer.

VFE.

tony draper
17th Apr 2006, 16:56
The Church dropped itself in the poo with this predicting doom business on the first millenium AD,they thought to rustle up a few more punters with tales of the end of the world,they had to quickly amend these when the peasents decided it was not worth planting the next years crops, or paying their tithes.
hee hee
load of old bollix if yer ask me.
:rolleyes:

Gnirren
17th Apr 2006, 18:33
Personally I could imagine it all starting with war over the last few drops of oil. Of course, over-population will play a part too since no country is truly prepared to lower their standard of living just so that there can be a fridge in the house and 2 cars on the driveway of every family in china and india to name a couple. Which could well lead to outright war over who has the right to exist and not. I'm not religious though, you don't need to belive in a deity to see that our own inihilation is in the works.

Regardless, 15 million years from now or whatever it is the sun will go out since it's just a big gas ball and that will end things real quick. I believe in that, because that's pretty much all the sun can do, it's depleting itself so eventually it's going to have to get snuffed.

G-CPTN
17th Apr 2006, 19:33
Regardless, 15 million years from now or whatever it is the sun will go out since it's just a big gas ball and that will end things real quick.
Do I care? Do I :mad: :mad:

Gnirren
17th Apr 2006, 19:48
Wether or not you care is beside the point, the point is that religion or no the world is on an egg timer and that's the end of story.

con-pilot
17th Apr 2006, 19:53
Well, according to the Mayans the world ends on the 12th of December 2012.

So the way I look at it we got about 5 and half years left.

Enjoy it to the fullest.:ok:

G-CPTN
17th Apr 2006, 19:56
according to the Mayans the world ends on the 12th of December 2012.
That's spookie! When I entered my details into that 'project your date of death' site, that's the date I got . . . :{

The Desert Ferret
17th Apr 2006, 19:57
'Armageddon' is a concept invented by despotic nutters of yesteryear as a device to threat and cow the common folk to their end.

Any folk who entertain this tedious sh**e (thats christians, moslems and the rest) that has been the needless cause of millions of deaths over the last 3000 years is recommended to get hold of a basic optic - point it at the night sky - and feel true humility at the scale of existence and f*** off up their own moronic a*ses and leave intelligent people alone.

The Desert Ferret
17th Apr 2006, 19:59
PS: Have I just bagged myself a fatwa?

AnEviltwinEr
17th Apr 2006, 20:03
Well, according to the Mayans the world ends on the 12th of December 2012.

So the way I look at it we got about 5 and half years left.

Enjoy it to the fullest.:ok:

I'll stand infront of this guy, and laugh that day.

http://www.londonstimes.us/toons/cartoons/patrick_procto.jpg

ShyTorque
17th Apr 2006, 21:20
Well, according to the Mayans the world ends on the 12th of December 2012.
So the way I look at it we got about 5 and half years left.
Enjoy it to the fullest.:ok:

Bloody typical....Just as I'm about due to get my pension !! :(

tall and tasty
17th Apr 2006, 21:42
world ends on the 12th of December 2012.
well I won't have to remember to renew my passport that is wnen it runs out!
TnT:\ :\

Crashed&Burned
17th Apr 2006, 21:51
armageddon out of here...........

(I'll get my coat)

The Desert Ferret
17th Apr 2006, 21:55
C & B

You b**tard - I was planning to come out with that gag.

df

Solid Rust Twotter
17th Apr 2006, 22:35
Milligan fans, I see...:ok:

BlueWolf
17th Apr 2006, 23:49
So...let me see if I've got this straight...in five and a half years all the Mayans will die, and the Russians will go to Israel in a Nissan (:confused: ) to save it from God's armies who are being a bit of a plague, and no-one will know when Christ returns except that he'll have 144,000 dead followers with him, but none of it matters anyway because in 15 million years all the fridges in China will get sunburn.

Yes. Makes perfect sense. Just like most things spouted by religions.
:bored: :zzz:

G-CPTN
17th Apr 2006, 23:51
And the rest of us will go to Hell in a handcart . . .

RiskyRossco
18th Apr 2006, 04:36
News Flash!
Wolfie is actually Tim Allen's alter-ego, Tim Taylor!
;)

Tad harsh, there, Desert Ferret. I mean, I haven't met you yet that vitriol of bigotry and prejudice certainly brings to mind a worrying comparison.
Definitely there have been atrocities committed 'in the name of' religion. I, on the other hand, am Christian. Technically Christianity is classed as a religion yet I simply live in relationship with my Lord. To reiterate, religion is man's attempt to reach up to God, Christianity is God reaching down to man.
It's precisely the tone of intolerance and lack of understanding evoked by your argument that's been the origin of many of the atrocities alluded to in defamation of religion. Food for thought there.

ORAC
18th Apr 2006, 05:13
Should be a bit more room down here for the rest of us after The Rapture (http://www.raptureready.com/) :cool:

Now, a couple of questions here.

1. Are the chosen who are on board an aircraft allowed to leave after the doors are closed?

2. Do the airlines down South take this into account when rostering? I mean, I´d much prefer one of the pilots to be a rake who has the glass or snort or two rather than 2 of the chosen who´d b*gger off and leave the rest of the pax to it. We might be damned, but we must have some rights, right? :ooh:

RiskyRossco
18th Apr 2006, 22:31
Int'restin' point, ORAC.
In the first instance it's a case of when-you-have-to-go-you-have-to-go, doors or no doors. :hmm:
Second, the rostering in the South (and everywhere else for that matter, though the ratio is higher in the South) should rightly observe the rule 'one believer + one non-believer' in flight crew. That would keep the pax happy.
Well, the ones left, anyway. ;)

tony draper
18th Apr 2006, 22:37
If 'n I can't take me Stratocaster and me dog I int goin.
:uhoh:

G-CPTN
18th Apr 2006, 22:41
Would you have them buried with you?
Or are you a conflagration type?
Maybe buried at sea would be your chosen place of rest?

tony draper
18th Apr 2006, 22:50
I don't mind where really, as long as I am buried on top of a Lawyer.
:E

The Desert Ferret
18th Apr 2006, 23:24
RiskyRosco,

Apologies for offence caused by my Jack Daniels fuelled vitriol.

That said - I more or less stand by what I said - I like the rules of christianity and islam (in a nutshell - lets be nice to each other - great idea - lets do it) - but - and its a big but - being a (hopefully humble) amateur historian - christianity appears to be responsible for a shedload of repugnent atrocities down the years - be it the genocide of the catharrs and the murderous campaigns of the crusades.

I am very interested in your response and defense of christianity - particularly the burning alive of catharrs. Nice touch God.

Over to you RR.

df

tony draper
18th Apr 2006, 23:28
Its ok Mr Ferret,they didn't get all us Cathars.:rolleyes:

tony draper
18th Apr 2006, 23:30
Of course we are not know as Catharrs now,we is the Illuminatii,:E

And its payback time.:suspect: