View Full Version : The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation !!!

14th Apr 2006, 19:28
How true is that now ? LOL

:p The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation

1. I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.
2. Me? I've never busted minimums.
3. We will be on time, maybe even early.
4. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
5 .I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
7. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
8. I'm a member of the mile high club.
9. I only need glasses for reading.
10. I broke out right at minimums.
11. The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
12. Don't worry about the weight and balance -- it'll fly.
13. If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
14. I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree & 3000 hours in a Lear.
15. We shipped the part yesterday.
16. I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.
17. All you have to do is follow the book.
18. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
19. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
20. Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
22. No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.
23. Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?
24. We'll be home by lunchtime.
25. Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
26. I'm always glad to see the FAA.
27. We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.
28. It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?
29. I thought YOU took care of that.
30. I've got the field in sight.
31. I've got the traffic in sight.
32. Of course I know where we are.
33. I'm SURE the gear was down.

14th Apr 2006, 19:40
"in the unlikeley event of landing on water . . ."

Come on, the 319 hasn't got floats - it ain't never gonna land on water . . . . .

14th Apr 2006, 19:44
1.We are ready for start and pushback.
2. Our estimate is....
3. We'll be ready for departure on reaching the holding point.
4. I'll respect you in the morning.....;)

14th Apr 2006, 20:13
Nope, I definately raised the flap lever, not the gear lever.

14th Apr 2006, 20:45
And don't forget the classics:
The coaches will be here shortly to take you to the terminal......
followed two hours later by
The coaches will be here shortly to take you to the terminal......
We seem to have small technical problem - it's not serious and we'll soon be on our way
Don't forget to buy you're lucky scratch card as somebody on this flight may win the big prize
You'll be pleased to hear that the weather at the destination is excellent
Our cabin crew are here to be of service to you
We have wide selection of food and drink on offer
We are the low fares airline

14th Apr 2006, 21:29
The lies in aviation
Pour forth fast and thick,
But the biggest fabrication
Must be "Big watch equals big salary".

14th Apr 2006, 21:35
''Im a pilot!''

14th Apr 2006, 22:26
There`s a few good ATC ones like "hasn`t he called you yet, I put him over ages ago" and "he told me he`d be level".

14th Apr 2006, 23:02
"Traffic in sight"

14th Apr 2006, 23:19
"the weather during the crossing will be fine",


"Turbulence ahead."

15th Apr 2006, 11:34
Nothing can go wrong: these things are built to fly... :cool:

15th Apr 2006, 11:58
"you said you had control?"

Flaps ten please
15th Apr 2006, 14:46
"Roger, reducing to minimum clean speed"
"due to Air Traffic delays"