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Grainger
4th Apr 2006, 14:03
Seen in the Post Office this morning:"If you have difficulty reading, writing, or with numbers . . .


. . . Call 0808 100 1080"

:8 :rolleyes:

Whirlygig
4th Apr 2006, 14:06
Years ago, whilst visiting a friend in a maternity hospital, I saw a poster of a new-born babe and the words across the top were "The first few minutes of your life are the most dangerous".

Underneath, someone had scrawled, "The last few are a bit dodgy as well!"

Cheers

Whirls

goshdarnit
4th Apr 2006, 15:09
Do headlines count?

Saw a headline once, think it was the good ol' USA Today:
"Women Prefer Bush!"
it screamed. Now with such a promising start I had to read the article...unfortunately it was about US politics.

teeteringhead
4th Apr 2006, 16:18
In a part of my workplace, one of those door signs saying:

This Door is Alarmed

has been added to underneath with the words:

I'm a little concerned myself;) ;)

ShyTorque
4th Apr 2006, 17:46
"If you have difficulty reading, writing, or with numbers . . .
. . . Call 0808 100 1080"

000#80080....08..... *111*#0080000 ..... :confused:

Treeid ringgging iiit, six times or waaaas it three times?.... Doesn't work. :(

singaporegirl
4th Apr 2006, 18:11
And I thought this thread was going to be about Jerricho. :rolleyes:

Jerricho
4th Apr 2006, 18:17
Watching you Singas............ :suspect:

Too Short
4th Apr 2006, 18:18
In one of our kitchen areas at work we have a notice which says:

"please wipe down the surfaces after use, there is no charge for using the dishcloth"


to which someone's added "nor for any disease off it"


Only slightly amusing but makes me smile nonetheless - especially when you see the dishcloth :yuk:

seacue
4th Apr 2006, 18:53
Notice on a door down the corridor from me at work:

This door must remain closed at all times.

It is on the only entry to the room where nearby people get their interoffice mail, etc. It is not intended as a joke.

Saintsman
4th Apr 2006, 20:56
One from my airforce days.

Written on a toilet wall: Please flush twice - The Mess is a long way from here.

Actually, I always thought the food was much better than Army and Navy food.

frostbite
4th Apr 2006, 21:19
Written next to a very grubby roller towel

In the interests of hygiene, please wash your hands after using this towel

ShyTorque
4th Apr 2006, 22:10
On an electric hand drier at RAF Gutersloh in 1982, but still very appropriate today: "Press button for a one minute speech by the Labour Party".

G-CPTN
4th Apr 2006, 23:05
Often seen in cities:-
Pedestrians look right.
(I agree!)

thomay
4th Apr 2006, 23:25
Found on a toilet wall in a restaurant in the Alps (loosely translated):

Please step up closer. It really is shorter than you think.

airship
4th Apr 2006, 23:53
Does this comply?

http://www.mcphee.com/pixlarge/11128.jpg

(see extreme right, top row) What's the point of bandaging someone who's lost his head? :}

BTW, I thought this was going to be a thread about Onan...

G-CPTN
5th Apr 2006, 00:30
Seen on a shop window somewhere in the Far East (I forget exactly where):-
Ici on parle Francais
Hier spreche man Deutsch
Parliamo Italiano (sp?)
English spoken here. We also understand American.

Buster Hyman
5th Apr 2006, 04:12
A former colleague of the female persuasion had written a note in our kitchen...
"Please clean up after yourself! Your Mother doesn't work here!"

Underneath...

"Neither does your husband."

RiskyRossco
5th Apr 2006, 04:57
Restaurant table. Sign reading 'Reserved'. Table next to it. Sign reading 'Extrovert'. :D

attrib. Gary Larson

Apocryphal customer service warning: "please do not ask for credit as having your clock punched and your body ejected forcibly from this establishment may offend." :uhoh: :ouch:
Loved that store notice: "Children under sixteen must be supervised at all times or they will be arrested."
:ok:

SyllogismCheck
5th Apr 2006, 07:38
Small, 3 inch across sticker in the corner of a huge pub window reading: Braille Menu Available Here.
Complete with non-raised, inside the glass braille dots to the same effect. :confused:

treadigraph
5th Apr 2006, 08:23
Road sign I saw next to the A259 last Friday... "Children Drive Slowly".

I didn't think they were supposed to drive at all...

Farmer 1
5th Apr 2006, 09:30
My favourite in America was a sign explaining the reason for a speed limit: "THICKLY SETTLED."

Sammie_nl
5th Apr 2006, 09:38
Seen at the local University, a sing on the door that said "Please don't slam the door"
Scribled beneath it was "Somebody might wake up"

rhythm method
5th Apr 2006, 10:21
Sign in toilets of Exeter based aero-engineering company...

Please Don't Spit Chewing-gum Into The Urinal.

...It ruins the taste!

Noah Zark.
5th Apr 2006, 11:50
In the bedroom of a hotel - "No smoking in bed"
Underneath - " No sleeping in the ashtray"

RaraAvis
5th Apr 2006, 12:40
A sign in the middle of the road in Subic, Philippines, declaring:
'Highway Robbery Check-Point' :}

Little Lady
5th Apr 2006, 13:07
Located outside a pub in a small town populated mostly by indigenous locals who frequent the establishment, alerting others to the effects of too much alcohol during pregnancy.....

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j8/04oct04/GrabbedFrame16.jpg (http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j8/04oct04/?)


Not really but that was the witty comentary given whilst taking footage of the town.

discostu
14th Apr 2006, 20:16
Seen all too often round here: 'SLOW ROAD WORKS AHEAD'
........is there any other kind? :hmm:

Mac the Knife
14th Apr 2006, 20:32
On a condom-vending machine in Cornwall

"Insert foetus for full refund"

;)

green granite
14th Apr 2006, 21:09
At work: due to the recession the light at the end of the tunnel has been
switched off

also: Getting things done around here is like mating elephants
1) its done at a high level
2) its accompanied by a great deal of roaring and trumpeting
3) it takes 2 years to see the results