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tony draper
6th Mar 2006, 18:25
Hypothetic senario and question.?
You are wanderiing in the park with hound at sparrows fart,nobody else around,pooch wanders over to the bushes and starts barking,you investigate, and see a large Tesco's bag beneath said bush,you take a peek and it is stuffed full of money, you pick it up and trot home as fast as your wee legs will carry you,hound being dragged behind you wondering why his walkies has been cut short before he has had time to do his biz.
Nobody sees you, there's nobody home but you and the dog,you count the cash and there's say,(lets not be daft here) 45,000 in used tens twenties and fives random numbers,now the question is,do you phone the police and report your find,or do you stuff it in the back of the wardrobe and go back to the park and finish your forshortened dog walk.
:rolleyes:
Serious question,what would you do?

ex_matelot
6th Mar 2006, 18:30
If it happened to me I would not have time to ponder the morals on here as id be far too busy enroute to a shiny island in the sun somewhere...

Do people in Tonbridge wells actually shop at Tesco?? Much more likely to have found said currency in a M&S bag I would have thought!

Gouabafla
6th Mar 2006, 18:34
Sorry to be boring, but I'd take it to the police without any hesitation. Mind you, if no one claimed it within the alloted time, I'd happily look after it!

djk
6th Mar 2006, 18:37
I'd take it to the police, chances are if it's from some sort robbery the serial numbers would have been recorded. So rather than getting arrested for trying to spend the money, I'd hand it in.
Although saying that I'd be pretty annoyed if I had recovered that sum of money and only got a pat on the back

tony draper
6th Mar 2006, 18:42
Well we are assuming it is a tiny part of the haul the police are presently seeking,so hypertheticaly we know it is stolen money,but so small a sum as to be insignificant compared to the amount lifted,I assume the Banks /Insurance companies will be quite chuffed if say 90% of the cash is recovered,so there is no chance of it not being claimed and you being given it for your honesty, If I recal correctly at the time of the great train robbery bags of money were turning up all over the place,ie left in telephone boxes under bushes ect.
:rolleyes:

con-pilot
6th Mar 2006, 18:45
As much as I would like to wish to keep the money, sigh, I'd turn it in and hope nobody claimed it, then I'd get the money back.:E

Because, if I keep it, one, it would turn out stolen and I'd go to jail and then two, the IRS would be on my back for not claiming the income.:sad:

tony draper
6th Mar 2006, 18:56
A unexplained change in lifestyle in a upward direction is exaclty the kind of thing the old bill keep toot for,so taking off for warm sunny tropical isles unless that was your habit would certainly land you in a cell,we would have to be very carefull, besides 45,000 is not that much,the sensible thing of course would be to use it for your day to day expences,bills morgage ect and leave your salary in the bank to accumulate,of course that in itself could raise suspicion.
:cool:

nutcracker43
6th Mar 2006, 19:00
In reality, I imagine the amount you quoted Drapse would be enough to overcome most people's scruples...not mine you understand...

NC43

Mac the Knife
6th Mar 2006, 19:05
Leave it at home, take a trip to Lichtenstein and open a bank account.

Tell the bank to expect a parcel by DHL

Live modestly at home and have a good time every year on your holidays abroad.

....worked for me! :ok:

G-CPTN
6th Mar 2006, 19:09
You could refer to another thread and launder it. Surely 45000 would be 'pocket money' and you could get to Spain, and . . . Roberto is your sister's uncle.

tony draper
6th Mar 2006, 19:23
As I said earlier these ideas of suddenly buggering off to spain and the like would arouse suspicion,besides to get there you need to pass through various points where the cash could be discovered also the Spanish police probably talk on a regular basis to our police,and a face turning up with cash would no doubt get to them,
Remember its only 45 ,000 quid, if you won that on the lottery it would hardly change your life style would it?,its the price of a decent car is all.
:cool:

Tarnished
6th Mar 2006, 19:38
If you let me look after half of it Drapes I'll let you know how to get the other half into my bank account without getting nabbed.

Grainger
6th Mar 2006, 20:22
Think we should look to our leaders for moral guidance on this one.

So . . . use it to pay off your mortgage then if you get caught, pretend you didn't know anything about it.

Sorted.

wingman863
6th Mar 2006, 20:41
Am I right in saying part of this hypothetical senario is that any possibility of getting caught has been removed? If so, I would of course keep the money.

Or alternatively, make up a story which goes along the lines of an old man came round to your house saying he knew you from when you were a young child, lets say a friend of your grandfathers. He then said to you that all those years ago, you made him very happy (not in a Gary Glitter sort of way) and that for those happy memories he is going to give you his life savings before he goes and dies. he did not give you any more details but you got the hint that he was going to jump off the nearest pier. Thus you have a story which is not wholly unbelievable and in my opinion would be rather hard to disprove. If on the other hand the cash was stolen and the cops were able to get it back on the grounds that it was stolen, fair do's. I don't think you would land your ass in jail at least.

Richard Spandit
6th Mar 2006, 21:14
I'd be very honest and march right down the nearest police station to hand my 22,500 find in... :)

tony draper
6th Mar 2006, 21:16
Well I think if one behaved sensibly one could get away with it,but people seldom behave sensibly they have the insane urge tell some other person, even someone they would trust with their lives who swear never to tell another soul either, except another person they would trust with their lives who tells another...ect ect.
Or they cannot resist spending above and beyond normal,and as one said earlier Old Bill has eyes and ears everywhere.
One would have to be silent,tell no one,and discrete it is not a huge sum but it could make life easier for you for a few years.
And never post a question like this on the internet. of course:E

G-CPTN
6th Mar 2006, 21:26
I'd be very honest and march right down the nearest police station to hand my £22,500 find in... :)

That's funny, there was only £10,000 in my bag . . .

Many, many years ago, on November 5th 1950, I was being dragged-homewards along the back lane at about 5pm (in the dark) when I shouted "Look, Mummy - MONEY!" and was yanked further along with a "Don't be silly!".
However I struggled free and picked-up a bundle of notes (memory doesn't record how much, but it was a goodly sum).
It seemed obvious that it had been dropped by a cash-collector such as a coal man, but nobody came forward and in due time the Police returned it (all) to me.
I was somewhat miffed, though, to be made to share my treasure with my (older) brother and sister! Twasn't fair that wasn't.

fantom
6th Mar 2006, 21:28
easy peasy.
give one's first wife a prezzi of squillions in folding munny in a waitrose bag and lurk behind the bushes 'till she gets arrestified.
:E

Loose rivets
6th Mar 2006, 21:48
The real dilemma as I see it, is, has some innocent, if rather eccentric old soul, lost their life savings?

I would have to know that it was really stolen money before answering your question, and indeed, know that the institution that lost it wouldn't feel the tiniest itch at its loss. If this were all okay, all I would have to do is find a way to not get caught. Oooo.....but what would God say? No, that's okay, he doesn't really approve of material wealth, so no problem there.

Taking abroad by self or Fedex...no chance, it would be the one time that your case has been opened in the last five years. Money laundering is the buzzword in banking now, as I know to my considerable cost. Not in money, but in time. Living in two countries is it seems, watched like a hawk.

I think it's, off to the pub with your lottery ticket. Casually check it in front of a lot of your friends, and then give an Oscar winning performance of saying "that's it, I've done it hooraaaaah!! Then **** orf quick like, before they ask to see the magic docket, or think of asking you to buy a round. Remember you haven't got the spondulicks yet. ( how the heck do you spell spondulicks?)

Now, the local jack-the-lads and bankers, (same thing really) all thinking your worth millions, will lend you incredible sums of money. When it's all in your coffers, that's when you do the disappearing act.

tart1
6th Mar 2006, 22:05
That is exactly the correct spelling, according to my (rather old) dictionary. :)

I am one of those people who cannot be dishonest about something like that.........it would keep me awake at night. (I do find myself quite annoying though!! :rolleyes: )

I would report it - moral duty done - and then hope that nobody claimed it so I could have it and spend it all on a nice car or some fabulous holidays. :D

tilewood
6th Mar 2006, 22:16
I'd give it to a worthy cause, you know like paying off
Tessa Jowell's mortgage or Neil Kinnock's Metric Road Signs Fund. :p

BRL
6th Mar 2006, 23:29
Just been chatting to a mate who knows a bloke who would give you 20k in used notes for it. Job's a good 'un as they say.... :suspect:

broadreach
7th Mar 2006, 01:07
To start off with I'd be very suspicious of that pooch.

acbus1
7th Mar 2006, 05:34
Can I drag you back to the first post.....

.......what does a 'foreshortened dog' look like? :uhoh:

kenfoggo
7th Mar 2006, 07:13
Wotsa problem? Keep the dosh, if they get suss, bung the rozzers a monkey, sorted innit??

under_exposed
7th Mar 2006, 07:40
they have the insane urge tell some other person

Via pprune?

Wyler
7th Mar 2006, 07:54
Keep it.

Not a fortune so it would be tucked away somewhere safe and used to enhance ones way of life. Possibly a holiday but more likely to pay for the school trip, get some decorating done etc.
If however, I saw a story in the paper about some poor old soul who had lost her life savings etc etc I would drop it off in the wee hours.
Would not hand it in to our useless police. Prolly get accused of all sorts of things the way they are these days.
(I'd have a few lucky dips on the next Lotto rollover as well!).

Devlin Carnet
7th Mar 2006, 08:50
I'd use it all to pay off some of my wifes credit card bill.

Binoculars
7th Mar 2006, 11:38
45000 quid? Hmmm, on the borderline. 20K could easily be some unfortunate's life savings. 100K would almost certainly be the result of criminal activity.

In either case I would take it home and sit on it, wait for media reports etc. If a dear lady pensioner lost her bag on the way to the bank it would no doubt make the local rag. If the evidence was clear that the money was legit in that fashion I'd be happy to hand it in. Anonymously of course.

If nothing was heard I would be more than happy to keep it. People holding hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash are highly unlikely to have come by it legally. Does that make me dishonest? I suppose it does. Tough. I'm that miserable sort who looks at Ferrari drivers and thinks, "what sort of criminal activities have you been up to to afford that?"

tall and tasty
7th Mar 2006, 11:52
Well I would take it to the police. Could be drug money and then you would be done for passing on notes contaminated! To be honest was in the Halifax last year, little elderly chap infront paying in large amount of money. Bag on the floor and off he walked. I went to the teller to kick said bag, he had forgotten it. I picked it up to see he had climbed into a taxi and it just driven off. I told the teller and she said pass it through. There were banded 50 pound notes in thousand stacks. Her face went white, she called a supervisor and they thanked me telling me it would be ok, they had the gents details. Now if no one was behind him, I wonder how long it would have sat there or someone picked it up. At the airport any monies left or valuables were always handed in. The most reported left on one of the aircraft I was handling was enough to buy a house! Why do people carry that sort of money in. when it was discovered it was at customs so it was a legal entry too the guy had just forgotten he had placed it in the forward seat!

TnT

Saintsman
7th Mar 2006, 11:58
Firstly, if its hidden under some bushes then nobody has accidently lost it.

Secondly, people steal all the time and don't think about it. Who hasn't taken something from work for personal use or from a shop where the cashier has forgotten to scan it? This is just on a grander scale so its really no different.

Thirdly, I'm always suspicious of 'hypothetical' questions. A friend of mine is suffering from premature ejaculation. What should he do etc......

ExSimGuy
7th Mar 2006, 12:23
Has anyone noticed that he hasn't posted for more than 12 hours?

If you see him on your next flight, please give him my regards, and ask him if he wouldn't mind settling VISA card no 2314 5832 2213 7928

Cheers, Drapes

djk
7th Mar 2006, 13:01
It often seems to be people out walking their dogs in the morning that find holdalls of money etc.
Makes me wonder if I should get a dog

frostbite
7th Mar 2006, 15:04
Maybe so, but they also seem to be the ones finding corpses too.

Are you prepared for that?

djk
7th Mar 2006, 15:14
Maybe so, but they also seem to be the ones finding corpses too.

Are you prepared for that?

knowing my luck, it'll be a corpse still clutching the bag of money

tony draper
7th Mar 2006, 15:17
Actually a mate of mine found a corpse in the park when we were kids,bloke hanged himself in the public toilets, very reluctant to walk through the park after that he was.
:uhoh:

Wyler
7th Mar 2006, 15:20
No way would I take THAT home. (Might have a look see through the pockets though......).:E

pulse1
7th Mar 2006, 15:23
Of course, if it was traced to you AND the big robbery, the police might choose to think that you were in on it and you could find yourself in big trouble. Even if they couldn't pin it on you, lots of bad people might come visiting, looking for the rest of the 50 million.

Perhaps I watched too many 50's crime films.

acbus1
7th Mar 2006, 15:49
What if the bag was a Harrod's one instead of Tesco's? :suspect:

tony draper
7th Mar 2006, 16:38
I think the law was in the fifties and sixties crime movies the villains were never allowed to get away with it,they always came to sticky ends or got their collar felt in the last reel.
:uhoh:

airship
7th Mar 2006, 18:31
I've given the subject my serious consideration and here is what I think:

45k is at the same time too large a sum and too small a sum to risk not handing it in. Add another zero and I'd have to think again. Add another 2 zeros and I wouldn't have to give it another thought... :O

But I wouldn't simply hand it over at the local police station in the faint hope of recovering it at some future date if it remained unclaimed. It would be too easy for some insurance company to claim that it was part of the 'last big heist' for which they have to pay out on.

No, I'd go see my bank manager and explain the situation. Find out if there was some easy way to list all the serial numbers of the notes as well as count them. A bank should have the resources to identify whether any of the notes have serial numbers on any "watch" list. Why would the bank (or manager) wish to be so cooperative? How about 20%?! Perhaps they'd also know of some forensic laboratory to which one could send a sample to detect any chemical 'tracking' tags? That could be important.

Only after all that would I take it down to the police station. Make sure I got an itemised receipt.

How long do you have to wait? And would you have to pay tax on it when you get it back? :ok:

G-CPTN
7th Mar 2006, 18:35
Problem is that 'meddling' with the evidence could earn you a charge of perverting with the course of justice. Don't think tax is chargeable on 'gifts' or finds. Not really income, as you did no quantifiable work.

airship
7th Mar 2006, 18:42
Wouldn't be liable for a capital gain tax even?! That doesn't sound right...

CargoMatatu
7th Mar 2006, 18:45
I'd be very honest and march right down the nearest police station to hand my 22,500 find in... :)
Bloody Hell! You were lucky! I only found 225 squids. Lord knows where the rest must have went:}

tony draper
7th Mar 2006, 18:57
Hmmm, still recon the best bet is to hoy it in the back of the wardrobe and use sparingly as required.
:rolleyes:

airship
7th Mar 2006, 19:01
Sleep on it til the morning Drapes... ;)

terryJones
7th Mar 2006, 19:51
Bearing in mind who started this thread, and thinking back a couple of years, was there not a personal title with a reference to a certain member of a certain person's family winning the lottery.....Mary, if memory serves.
Perhaps this has already happened.

Richo77
8th Mar 2006, 00:01
Where can i get one of those dogs? All mine seem to find is other canine detritus!

Im not sure what the requirements are but wouldnt one simply be able to visit currency exchange places (many that is), exchange it into $US say and then bundle it into the wardrobe? Or a casino or the like?

R

tony draper
8th Mar 2006, 00:09
Ones SWH of years ago Barney(of beloved memory) had the knack of removing wallets from peeps back pocket as they sat on ones settee,he was so skilled at this that they seldom noticed.
He was also great at finding golf balls or tennis balls he would disapear into the undergrowth and inevetanle return with a ball in his gob,one had a large tesco bag full of gollf and tennis balls he had found hanging up in the garage,he never came across any bags full of money though.
:rolleyes:

ORAC
29th Mar 2006, 09:44
500k bag find handed to police

A MAN found a handbag on a California park bench containing cash and jewellery worth 570,000 - and immediately returned it to the police.

Despite opening the Louis Vuitton Sausalito bag and seeing a 12-carat diamond ring, pearl and emerald jewellery, a Cartier watch, and roughly 285 in cash, John Suhrhoff did not hesitate. He returned it to police who tracked down its rightful owners, a Toronto family who had been in northern California for a wedding.

"Every person I know would have done the same thing," Mr Suhrhoff, 56, said.

XXTSGR
29th Mar 2006, 10:04
Simple, Drapes - I'd start a small company with part of it, in some area in which I have no expertise or experience at all, lend the rest to the Labour Party - let's face it, they won't take too close a look at anything in a brown paper bag - and demand my peerage, planning permission for my new office premises, and a government contract. I'd turn 45k into millions ("Sorry, gov - overspent on the budget by 1,350%") within less than a year.

Job's a good 'un. :ok:

Gingerbread Man
29th Mar 2006, 10:11
You could refer to another thread and launder it.

Providing that they're those new waterproof notes, mind.

Ginger :p

Nani
29th Mar 2006, 14:19
I wouldn't even touch the bag and call the cops immediately,no need to leave fingerprints and foul up what may be there.
If money goes unclaimed,I'd turn it to a non-profit charity. Imagine all the headaches by the tax man for a measly 45G,it's just not worth it.
Now if that was 45M,it's a different story....;)

Ozzy
29th Mar 2006, 14:24
Take it to a posh casino where the sum of 45,000 squid is nowt and exhange for chips. Play an hour or so at blackjack (http://www.blackjackinstitute.com/store/), go back and cash in chips. Money well and truly laundered.

Keep it under the bed and use it as required to maintain a comfortable few months of living without drawing attention to oneself.:E

Ozzy