View Full Version : You want to microwave what?

Cyclic Hotline
6th Mar 2006, 13:44
Couple Cited in Bizarre Fake Penis Case

Associated Press Writer

PITTSBURGH (AP) -- A man and woman were cited Friday in connection with a bizarre incident that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store last week.

Leslye Creighton, 41, of Wilkinsburg, and Vincent Bostic, 31, of Pittsburgh, were both cited for criminal mischief and disorderly conduct in the Feb. 23 incident at the Get Go! gasoline and convenience store in McKeesport, about 10 miles east of Pittsburgh.

Each charge carries a possible sentence of up to 90 days in jail and up to a $300 fine.

Bostic had filled a fake penis with his urine that Creighton, a friend, planned to use to pass a drug test she was taking to get a job, Police Chief Joseph Pero said.

Creighton asked a store clerk to microwave the device so the urine inside would be body-temperature and fool those giving the drug test, Pero said.

Police still aren't sure why or how Creighton chose to use a device that mimics the male sex organ to pass her drug test.

Creighton didn't immediately return a call to her home on Friday.

Defense attorney William Difenderfer didn't dispute the police account, but said there's no proof his clients had any criminal intent to damage the microwave - the basis for the criminal mischief charge.

"I certainly understand the ramifications and I'm certainly not saying it wasn't a stupid thing to do," Difenderfer said. "But there's a lot of bizarre stuff that we don't always have a remedy for in the crimes code."

Difenderfer said his clients want to settle the case, in part, by reimbursing the store for a new microwave oven.

Pero said the store got rid of the old oven because it couldn't be used for food once bodily fluids were cooked inside it.

Neither Difenderfer nor Pero know what kind of job the woman applied for, or whether she was hired.

6th Mar 2006, 13:55
This deserves at the very least least a penile sentence.

I just can't think of one. :(

6th Mar 2006, 13:57
Well, it was a "convenience" store . . .

6th Mar 2006, 14:09
Pero said the store got rid of the old oven because it couldn't be used for food once bodily fluids were cooked inside it.
Presumably once they have used it for foods that have blood in it they bin the oven.

6th Mar 2006, 14:12
I liked the ramifications bit. But I hope they'll, like, let things settle for a minute like you're supposed to after anything you've put in a microwave. Before going any further...

6th Mar 2006, 14:29
Bit of a cock-up by the sound of it.

6th Mar 2006, 14:33
Everyone knows you can't roast a juicy bit of pork in a microwave. The crackling never gets crispy enough.

6th Mar 2006, 14:37
Good thing a stool sample wasn't required...now that would be disgusting.

Biggles Flies Undone
6th Mar 2006, 14:39
Were they charged with taking the piss?

6th Mar 2006, 14:43
Presumably, 'Difenderfur' doesn't handle prosecutions with a name like that.

6th Mar 2006, 14:47
Bet the assistant felt a pr1ck.

6th Mar 2006, 14:52
Good thing a stool sample wasn't required

Now how the hell would you get a bar stool in a microwave.........oh, wait.

6th Mar 2006, 14:56
What a d!ckhead.

There's a story about the Princess Royal visiting a services SAR flight. They were keen to demo the infra-red search device. One of the winchmen had filled a condom with hot water and strapped it to his thigh under his drysuit before the IR demo. HRH didn't leave his side after that...

6th Mar 2006, 16:13
Now how the hell would you get a bar stool in a microwave.........oh, wait.

Don't worry - I watched an 'undercover' documentary about hospitals and poor cleaning.
A voice was heard saying that it wasn't their responsibiiity to pick up the stool when cleaning the floor. I thought "Talk about job delineation" then eventually as the programme progressed the penny dropped . . .

6th Mar 2006, 17:54
Has the judge asked for pee sentence reports before passing judgement?