PDA

View Full Version : Energy Crisis - Buttered Cat Array


5711N0205W
1st Mar 2006, 21:40
As energy prices start to bite hard it is time to start exploring other options of power generation. This idea has had a few outings in its time. It rampaged through the letters page of New Scientist a few years ago and appears on various websites, the theory goes;
.
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. And when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. Therefore why not strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground.
.
Surely this energy can be harnessed and mounted as a power source for all sorts of things.
.
So apart from a few design tweaks to overcome the problem of keeping the cat fed and toast crumbling how can this be implemented and improved......:D

Civis
1st Mar 2006, 22:28
Just beware buying moggies from a chap named Schrodinger.:hmm:

The Invisible Cat
1st Mar 2006, 22:52
a chap named SchrodingerOr is he ?
:E

Loose rivets
1st Mar 2006, 23:31
Mind you, if you was to accidentally drop Schrdinger's cat from a great height--before putting the buttered toast on it, the cat would be neither dead nor alive...well, until you observed it anyway.:8

Did you notice the rather sophisticated way in which I put two little thingies over the letter o?:hmm:

GrumpyOldFart
1st Mar 2006, 23:45
Did you notice the rather sophisticated way in which I put two little thingies over the letter o?

f dd.

Kolibear
2nd Mar 2006, 08:22
I detect a cost-saver here.

Rather than strap a piece of buttered toast to the back of said feline, just butter the cat's back.

The savings on the purchase of strap, bread, electricity etc will enable the purchase of a small generator.

Stockpicker
2nd Mar 2006, 08:25
just butter the cat's back

OK, we'll let that be your job!

:uhoh:

acbus1
2nd Mar 2006, 08:36
I don't wish to be a spoilsport here, but the cat/toast assembly will oscillate with diminishing amplitude, under the influence of air damping, until either of the null points on the side is facing downwards.

At some point prior to this stable situation being reached, the vertical component of the generated force will be less than the weight of the assembly and it will fall to the ground.

Moral -- They who rely upon cookery and pussy to keep mankind satisfied will inevitably fail. :8

acbus1
2nd Mar 2006, 08:38
Oh, BTW! Don't try the experiment with French toast.




.....or you'll end up with egg on your face.

Capn Notarious
2nd Mar 2006, 08:48
Mr Rivetts. Would you kindly advise of the command key strokes to place accents on letters.

bear11
2nd Mar 2006, 08:57
Further to Kolibear's post on cost savings, would marge work instead? Would the cat be fooled? Probably be healthier, at any rate.

5711N0205W
2nd Mar 2006, 08:59
I don't wish to be a spoilsport here, but the cat/toast assembly will oscillate with diminishing amplitude, under the influence of air damping, until either of the null points on the side is facing downwards.
True, could you not give the cat a pair of magnetic collars (not quite sure how you'd affix the one toward the rear....) with opposite polarity to the floor/enclosure? Perpetual motion beckons.....


As for buttering the cat directly that breaks the law of common myths so obviously will not work, you'd just get an angry moggy ;)

acbus1
2nd Mar 2006, 09:05
Whereas if you butter a sheep......

OK, no, forget that one. :rolleyes:

RiskyRossco
2nd Mar 2006, 10:23
Oh, no, no, acbus, you're onto it there. One must butter the sheep. Before placing it in the oven dish.
Preferrably minus the outer covering and inner padding 'n stuff, of course.

And, yes, Monsieur Rivets décontractés, that was rather clever of yer. I'm impressed. :ok:

Ages ago one proferred a few 'Alt+>key<' ideas for writin' in furrin.

ä = Alt + 132
ë = Alt + 137
ö = Alt + 148
ü = Alt + 129
Ä = Alt + 142
Ö = Alt + 153
Ü = Alt + 154

à = 133
å = 134
â = 131
ª = 166
á =160


At least on my pooter. . .
For starters. :O

acbus1
2nd Mar 2006, 10:28
Oh, no, no, acbus, you're onto it there....

I was thinking more into it, but as I said, better forget that one. :O

EGBKFLYER
2nd Mar 2006, 11:29
This reminds me of another use for a cat (and a duck). Fitted as standard to Airbuses I think in case the TVs go phut.

Basic Instruments:
Place a live cat on the cockpit floor. Because a cat always remains upright, it can be used instead of the artificial horizon. Simply watch which way the cat leans to determine if a wing is low, and if so, which one.

The duck is used for the instrument approach. Because any sensible duck will refuse to fly under instrument conditions, it is only necessary to hurl your duck out of the aircraft and follow it to the ground.

Limitation to Cat and Duck Method
Get a wide-awake cat. Most cats don't want to stand up at all. It may be necessary to carry a large dog in the cockpit to make the cat pay attention.

Make sure your cat is clean. Dirty cats spend all their time washing. Trying to follow a washing cat usually results in a snap roll followed by an inverted spin.

Use an old cat. Young cats still have many of their nine lives left, but an old cat has just as much to lose as you do and will be more dependable.

Avoid cowardly ducks. If the duck discovers you are using the cat to keep the wings level, it may refuse to leave without the cat. Ducks are no better at IMC than you are.

Make sure your duck has good eyesight. Nearsighted ducks may fail to realize they are on the gauges and go flailing off into the nearest mountain. Very nearsighted ducks may not realize they have been thrown from the aircraft and will descend to the ground in a sitting position. This is very difficult to follow in an airplane.

Use land-loving ducks. It is very discouraging to break out and find yourself on final to a rice paddy, especially if there are duck hunters around. Duck hunters suffer from temporary insanity after sitting in freezing blinds and will shoot at anything that flies.

Finally, choose your duck carefully. It's easy to confuse ducks with geese because many waterfowl look alike. Geese are competent instrument fliers, but they seldom go where you want them to. If your duck sets off for Canada or New Zealand, you can sure you've been given the goose.

tall and tasty
2nd Mar 2006, 11:32
So apart from a few design tweaks to overcome the problem of keeping the cat fed and toast crumbling how can this be implemented and improvedthinking about this last night I could not come up with anything else on the cat and buttered toast theory. But knowing how much my brothers' MIL talks maybe she could utalise her vocal cords to be used to generate energy in some way! :D (brothers suggestion not mine honest!)

TnT

5711N0205W
2nd Mar 2006, 12:18
Looks like we may be getting somewhere here, buttered cat array linked to props for main propulsion, duck and cat for navigation and Mother in Law for cabin heat....?

Someone mentioned sheep, think that was for catering... or possibly IFE :\

Any other animals/relations that could be used to keep this creation going.

teeteringhead
2nd Mar 2006, 14:02
I was going to post a joke about Schrodinger ... but then I remembered it was about Heisenberg .....:O

5711N0205W
2nd Mar 2006, 14:28
I was going to post a joke about Schrodinger ... but then I remembered it was about Heisenberg

Are you certain....... :)

With regard to animals I forgot about the barking dogs to guard the hold...:p

4Foxtrot
2nd Mar 2006, 14:34
And some pilots to feed the dogs.

Loose rivets
2nd Mar 2006, 21:06
Mr Rivetts. Would you kindly advise of the command key strokes to place accents on letters.


Ileft me ASCI code sheet back home, but now all I do is cheat by Spell-checker or Wikipedia. even get the spullin rite if I do that.:}

Empty Cruise
2nd Mar 2006, 21:26
The more precisely defined the punchline is, the less precise the definition of who the joke's about - or vice versa.

The moment you unambigously defined the subject of the joke as Heisenberg, the punchline disappeared and the joke rendered unfunny instantly.

This can be replicated over long distances and shows absolute correlation between the subject and the punchline. If Bells 1st experiment had failed, his second option was to write the aforementioned joke on a piece of paper, fold it, go to another room and instruct his lab assistant to read the joke at precisely 2 pm. Exactly at 2 pm, Bell would have uttered the word "Heisenberg", thereby effectively killing an otherwise very funny joke.

And that's a killer fact! ;)

The Invisible Cat
2nd Mar 2006, 21:42
About those accent thinggies, one thunk someone posted some link to a related topic on the French Forum some time ago, mebbe in one of the many TRRBATPSOIT Mks, but one is too lazy to search tonight. :rolleyes:

ShyTorque
2nd Mar 2006, 22:22
"Would marge work instead?"

Butter'f course! Marge is often seen at work, moderating on the Agony Aunts forum.

tony draper
2nd Mar 2006, 22:55
One sees a flaw in you design,a rapidly rotating cat would still be subject to frictional forces from the atmosphere thus reducing efficiency,the obvious answer to that of course would be to house this feline rotor in a closed vessel under vacuum,but then we run into Shroedinger probability type problems.
:rolleyes:

con-pilot
3rd Mar 2006, 00:25
And some pilots to feed the dogs.

Okay, just who is going to feed the pilots?:p

acbus1
3rd Mar 2006, 05:18
Why worry about that?

No airline I've ever worked for has! :mad:

bear11
3rd Mar 2006, 08:23
Drapes, you are perhaps we should shave the puddy-tat and lube it up for less friction? Maybe Erwin wouldn't have a problem with that.

MagnusP
3rd Mar 2006, 10:06
Drapes, you are perhaps we should shave the puddy-tat and lube it up for less friction? Maybe Erwin wouldn't have a problem with that.
Easier to use a sphynx moggie. http://absolutelycats.tripod.com/ZSphynxExoticats.jpg
And if you put the buttered sphynx cat under a pyramid it'd never grow old, so presumably wouldn't need feeding.

Blacksheep
4th Mar 2006, 02:20
Whereas if you butter a sheep......
I don't mind being buttered up actually, but don't expect me to hover.