View Full Version : Where have all the Vogons gone?

28th Feb 2006, 15:45
Vogons are extremely ugly, extremely officious, and generally not much fun to be around. They emerged from the seas of the planet Vogsphere, and gave up on evolving there and then. Only their stubbornness allowed them to survive. They generally become bureaucrats in the galactic government. Their unpleasant demeanour makes them ideally suited to such employment.Officious Beureaucrats, my god I think they are working for NATS! Do you know where there are any other Vogons?

28th Feb 2006, 15:55
Ah, but think of their poetry ;).



28th Feb 2006, 16:07

I'd rather not - if we're lucky we'll just be shoved out of an airlock !

[Err . . . showing my age again, ain't I WG ? :oh: ]

28th Feb 2006, 16:11
I should have thought the answer was obvious, they're all in the Treasury:eek:

Empty Cruise
28th Feb 2006, 16:30
Our FltOps Dept have some :ouch:

Lance Murdoch
28th Feb 2006, 17:23
Well theyve not destroyed the Earth to make a hyperspace bypass so I presume that theyve taken over instead. I think that some of the managers in my place of employment may be Vogons.

28th Feb 2006, 17:37
Oh, gad - I think they're all in Washington... but then things haven't improved much lately so maybe not.

28th Feb 2006, 18:44
A Vogon can be found in Tax Offices, Customs offices, or Immigration offices and is a species to behold, and a specialist in it's natural environment.
Unable to communicate in Human it has learnt to us primitive tools, i.e., a pen
and rubber stamp.
It tends to snort, and sneer, but has the inability to look a Human in the face
and smile, unless it is closing in for the kill.
I have watched Vogons on many occasions, and their numbers do seem
to be increasing, they have now moved out into new habitats such as Local
Government, and the Post Office, however I have never observed any of them mating.
I intend to hide myself behind a filing cabinet and wait until this wonder of nature actually happens - then drown the offspring. :ok:

28th Feb 2006, 20:06
Of course, if they seriously get on your tits you can really annoy them by feeding thier grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. :}

28th Feb 2006, 20:12
You can always try and strike a chord in their heart by playing them the snatch of Beethovens something-or-other Symphony (9th?)- that will get to them!

28th Feb 2006, 21:24
Most of them seem to work in Immigration at LHR and LGW and take particular pleasure from delaying us UK passport holders who pay their wages :mad:

28th Feb 2006, 22:35
Nobody's mentioned the Police.

28th Feb 2006, 22:43
I've just spent the evening in the company of some lovely policemen :E so I think your comment is a little unnecessary there G-CPTN!!

Anyway, this is a horrible thing to say but I always thought Keith Wood (ex-Ireland captain) looked a bit like a Vogon but now he's a commentator, he scrubs up quite well in a suit!!



28th Feb 2006, 22:46
I've just spent the evening in the company of some lovely policemen :E so I think your comment is a little unnecessary there G-CPTN!!

I ONLY said that nobody had mentioned the Police. Make of that what YOU will.

28th Feb 2006, 22:49
Yeah whatever, G-CPTN! I know you well enough by now to know what you were implying!!!



Buster Hyman
28th Feb 2006, 23:18
Oh, gad - I think they're all in Washington

Nope! Watched a show on the idiot box the other night & Geena Davis is there now!:rolleyes:

1st Mar 2006, 07:27
And I thought my mother-in-law came from Silesia, East Pomerania or someplace like that...

Someone should look into this. Some fellow sat next to me on the Tube had the volume up on those creepy little sticky-in-the-ear thingies and I could swear he was listening to Vogon poetry. Sort of a hissing, unpleasantly syncopated non-rhythms: whatever it was it could not have been music.

Could it be that Vogons are more subtle than they were presented? Or it may be that Donald Rumsfeld has a lock on the most of the crude aggression here on Planet Earth so that the poor old Vogons are making do with infiltration and subversion.

The Vogon Theory of Contemporary Reality... Michael Jackson? Anorexic Vogon. Posh Spice? Vogon fashion adviser. And so on.

1st Mar 2006, 07:30
Nobody's mentioned the Police.
I know that Sting is an ugly bastard but a Vogon :confused:

1st Mar 2006, 07:33
John 2-Jags Prescott is definitely a Vogon.....

1st Mar 2006, 11:51
I think you will find that Two Jags was expelled from the Vogons for excessive vulgarity, sort of bringing the whole Vogon thing into disrepute.

He would have wanted to demolish the Earth just for the hell of it and never mind where the hyperspace bypass was meant to go. Now he has to settle for demolishing housing in order to provide... more housing? The sort of thing you really could not make up.

I'm feeling a bit jealous; I thought we Yanks had a lock on this sort of politician. The only thing now is, thanks to your British 'class' thing, that there's no chance of letting him loose with a shotgun to see what he might make of that. Perhaps that is just as well.

Does he write poetry?

1st Mar 2006, 12:11
Hello Chuks,

You are well versed indeed in Vogon culture and the Prescott thing. I have managed to unearth one of his odes, unfortunately: "Here I sit, brokenhearted, paid a penny and only farted....."

1st Mar 2006, 13:00
Never mind Vogons. I hear tell of the REKCUF and REKNAW tribes, a truly backward people. The very mention of their names causes great offence.:E