Ode to Ppruners

[bellfest]

Pprune is always a great spot to go
To hear from the hopefuls and those in the know
The views of the bosses or that of the staff
One things for sure there's always a laugh

Sasless and Whirls might have an affair
Mr Selfish might go mad and bash Headsethair
Nigel might get smart and publish a book
Bigmike might quick stop and carve up a chook

Mongoose and Jigsaw might be there one day
When John Eacott does torque turns in the Hotham BK
Terry might jump on and set his thread straight
Cpt Hollywood might just build that R88

All Bristows patrons might run smaller crews
And they'll start doing transfers in R22's
One at a time out over the sea
And for Coastguard they'll cross hire a Brantly2B

They'll have new restrictions for what they can hoist
Only one life ring, dry but not moist
You could lift an infant but you'd have to be bold
As it won't pull the skin off a custard that's cold

Big Kev and Dick Smith may be enclined
To tether their talents and start an airline
A match made in heavan, now how does this sound?
They could call it Big Dick and chase Virgin around

Aus operators might bump up the pay
We'll all be much older by then I would say
Cattle might flourish, the export explodes
Franks little rockets will spread like cane toads

There's always a space for someones new rumour
Curiosity or spite, fact finding or humour
So good on you those who like saying your bit
Long live Pprune, It's bloody good ****.....

[twinstar_ca]

lmao!! outstanding, bellfest!! :ok:

[Gerhardt]

well done. But I'd been hoping to elbow SASless out in the quest for Whirls.

[bellfest]

Now now Gerhardt, no need to be blue
Sas has Whirls 1 and you have Whirls 2
Brother and brother on sister and sister
You can all get together and play Whirly twister!

Then describe how you twisted and slithered and curled
Post piccies on rotorheads around the world
Describe the events and tell us your roles
Let us know how the Whirl girls are at the controls

[Nigel Osborn]

Bellfest

Do you know the name of a good publisher??

[Whirlygig]

While I was sleeping, this ode has appeared
Full of wit and dry humour and all that is weird
Spreading salacious rumours of Sassy and I
It's not true, I tell thee, it's a scurrilous lie.

There is only one man in my heart at the mo
So sorry to all those who think they're my beau
You dashing young blades whose hopes I frustrate
Must line up and queue and join the long wait.

There's Gymble and Gymble and Gymble and Gymble
One can spell, the others aren't nimble
Enough to cope with a bit of my rancour
And so they end up a bit of a w****r!!

There's Thomas (TC), all bluff and bravado
But he's a real sweetie and never my foe
Pprune Fan number 1 writes missives so long
That one falls asleep but he's never wrong!!

Simon's a trooper; thought he'd hit a brick wall
But he smiles through and through to inspire us all
We hope he recovers and all wish him well
And soon he'll be flying that big old great Bell.

Skycop's a tosser, an arrogant tw*t
Yet he's still as cute as a wee pussycat
His use of apostrophes is somewhat lacking
But he's in the sky to give coppers their backing!

There's KissMy and Flying and other cute rodents
Who are quite annoying but give their two cents
We enjoy their sparring and it causes great mirth
When I think of them fighting in the mud and bare earth!

But there is one person we should never forget
Who works hard for honour, not money, I bet
We know who I mean, it's dear Heliport
Keeps us in line and corrects as we ought!

There's ppruners who've been and ppruners who've gone
Some who have lost and some who have won
We look out for each other and are full of good cheer
And those who now know me can buy me a beer!

Cheers

Whirls

[Whirlygig]

Oi! Where's all the poets amongst ye!

I was expecting better'n this.

Cheers

Whirls

[Skycop]

Hey, Whirls, that last one doesn't rhyme!

Many mighty PPRuNer's
Are shining little wits,
But it seems, there's just a few
Who....... ;)

[Whirlygig]

Many mighty PPRuNer's Ppruner's WHAT???
Are shining little wits,
But it seems, there's just a few
Who.......
have me laughing in fits!!

Ba-Boom!!

OR

get right on my t1ts!

I suspect that is what you were thinking of!!

Cheers

Whirls

[bellfest]

My goodness there Whirly, after all of this time
A fellow ppruner who's able to rhyme
I'm sure just like you i have more verse to share
But it will have to wait till there's more time to spare

[Bravo73]

Unfortunately, Whirls, I think that funny man expects the line to be:

Who are whining little ..... :ouch:



But bellfest, you've got a real talent there. It'd be a shame to think that you're wasting it on driving helis... :ok:

[bellfest]

Thankyou there Bravo, what you said is quite kind
There is a good chance that I'm out of my mind
My poems 9/10th's stupid and 1/10th is funny
But I'm F***** if i know how it will make me money

If I could make money elsewhere i would probably pike it
But the unfortunate truth is i happen to like it
My mum got me goin and for that i should thank her
Or curse her for breeding a rotary wing w****r!!

[flyer43]

A wealth of useful information is readily on tap,
Though often it is really hard to tell the good from c***
I don’t write much but visit often
Because my memory is fairly rotten
I’ve learned a lot from all the Rumours
And all of this is "ode" to Ppruners


Now how about an ode to Rotorheads in particular? Any takers.....

[bellfest]

It does seem that during my period of rest
Flyer has come up with a special request
To concentrate wholly on the accolades
For those who trek soley underneath rotor blades

Discussing hot topics from right across nations
From the latest and greatest to autorotations
It's a good place to go if you have time to burn
There's always something to laugh at or something to learn

It's the spot to find answers if you have any questions
Or help others out by giving suggestions
Advice from the vets to the greenest of green
Obtaining more knowledge about your machine

Squirrels,430's and R22's
From shouldering weiners to filming the news
There is even queries about carting dogs
Pictures of skycranes with sling loaded logs

The mustering lads in their Wrangler jeans
To the IFR newbies discussing the leans
And those other challenges that come in the night
Mountain men talking of landing at height

Those working with Esso, Chevron Texaco
In the Bass Strait in Aus, in the Gulf Mexico
The Ag operator flying seat of the pants
The crossaint crusaders in the green fields of France

A sound engineer who's presenting a tip
Or landing in soup on a rolling bulk ship
The cold climate captains perched on an ice bed
Those half crazy Kiwis slinging deer in NZ

The heavy lift boys hauling ginormous loads
It makes for great viewing when they're in their modes
Comparing the rockets, their airspeeds and powers
Instructors and prodagies both trying to build hours

Those high time instructors who can teach you the most
Like that cranky long bastard on Australias east coast
Towing birds and looking for natural resources
Or the patriot men who joined up to armed forces

A SAR in the ocean out searching for signs
Those awesome 500's hanging off powerlines
The EMS angels who save many lives
Remote area workers and their good patient wives

The very sad truth of machines hitting wires
The brave efforts of those who are putting out fires
And those lucky buggers who fly to resorts
Sip Pina Coladas and admire all the sorts

Then there's the type that you just couldn't miss
Those amongst us who like taking the piss
Different occasions and in different ways
You can cop a floggin, we all have our days

The pioneer men who did long ago fly
What we all drive now when they first took the sky
Those men who have sting and imaginations
And are right up to speed on the new generations

Whatever your angle and wherever your job
There's good things to be learnt from this Rotorhead mob
With that I'll leave you with some sound advice
Don't realise your boundary and go past it twice

[bellfest]

I'm just gonna keep editing as I think of more crap to write when I'm at the keyboard. It might get real old real quick but anyway, you can all get stuffed! I'm having fun!

[flyer43]

Excellent stuff!

[Whirlygig]

Oh what a joy to see this resurrection
Of odes and stanzas writ to perfection
Has Splot been up to his moderatin' pranks
To appear on page one again, I give my thanks!

Cheers

Whirls

[Spanish Waltzer]

Hey what about Crab
Who thinks Mil SAR is Fab
But his arguments with Lost At Sea
Bores the crap out of you & me

ok.........I'll get my coat :\:\

[bellfest]

The last time I looked at these Pprune pages,
Geez I don't know, It's been bloody ages,
And out of the blue I thought I might see,
What rotary jewels on Pprune I might see,

And on the first page there well what do you know!
A product of a spasm I had long ago,
Where all the opinions I had at the time,
I decided to put down in one big ass rhyme!

I'm sure much has happened on Pprune since then,
Topics exhausted then brought up again,
New things discovered and subjects discussed,
Some things overlooked but most over fussed!

All moderated by our gracious hosts,
Has Sasless yet reached 10'000'000 posts????
A man with a keyboard who has lots to say,
But most of it's wise and therefore ok!

And where's Mr Eacott, does he get on here much??
And speak of his knowledge with BK's and such??
And what of the Whirlies, are they still on queue??
To talk common sense as most women do??

There's been some progression since I had my last view,
The R66 and Sikorky's X2,
That thing must be rough when it's moving that quick,
With those blades as stiff as a newly wed's ..........!!

So keep on discussing and setting things right,
It's a good place to learn and a bloody good sight,
Now that I'm back here I might stick around,
And keep my Ppruning ear to the ground!!

[Brian Abraham]

Think we'll chain you to that keyboard bellfest and have you work 24/7. Outstanding. Kudos for kicking it off and Whirls for following through. :ok:

[heliski22]

And you asked yesterday, Whirls, if I was bored?

Hmmm................

[Whirlygig]

Heliski two two, don't be like that,
I can dredge up crap poems at the drop of a hat,
I hope you're not busy and can join in the fun
Of a few cheesey lines, maybe with a fish pun!!

Cheers

Whirls

[bellfest]

You see Heliski for people like us,
We can knock up a poem without any fuss,
Rhyming is natural, not tricky nor big,
I just go with the flow as does Whirlygig!

Boredom is not where these odes have fermented,
The real reason is that we're slightly demented!
And there's only one real way to repair it,
That's get on Pprune, be stupid and share it!!:E

[heliski22]

Wow, my personal entertainers at this hour of the day!!

Well done, I'm dead impressed!!!!!!

[ManOnTheSticks]

When I look at the clouds and endless bad weather
It feels like I'm coming to the end of my tether
Coming on Pprune for a rhyming session
Is the ultimate cure for depression.

I haven't much more to say
Except these rhymes have made my day
So keep them coming, I don't think you're demented
On these odes you are to be complimented. :ok: