View Full Version : Factory farmed coconuts?

16th Feb 2006, 01:31
Wifey just bought a coconut - to share between ourselves and the various wild creatures of the night that crawl, scamper and scuttle across our land after dark (when the humans have gone away).

We got into conversation and she said she bought it because it was (advertised as) an "organic coconut".

Are there any other kinds? Aren't all coconuts "organic" by their nature?

16th Feb 2006, 02:12
At least it isn't like a common brand of bottled water here - claimed to be organic.

16th Feb 2006, 02:52
Once upon a time, yes, and they still grow wild that way. But commercial realities being what they are, sadly, your modern cocoanut grows up amidst a veritable sea of chemicals.


16th Feb 2006, 05:06
Tin has two coconut trees.
Bloody messy they are.

16th Feb 2006, 05:48
Messy and nasty

More people die each year from having coconuts fall on their heads than get killed by sharks.

You wear a hard hat tins?

16th Feb 2006, 06:04
But how many sharks die each year from having coconuts fall on them?

henry crun
16th Feb 2006, 06:12
Of even more importance, how many polar bears are killed by coconuts falling on them ?

16th Feb 2006, 06:49
How was it delivered? African swallow or the common European swallow? :)

Solid Rust Twotter
16th Feb 2006, 07:28
Fresh grated coconut, chopped chili, black pepper, nuoc mam/nam pla and lime juice. Great as a salad or served with a curry as a sambal.

tony draper
16th Feb 2006, 08:02
Sorry chaps posted on wrong thread,the buggah wouldn't let me delete it in the normal manner for some reason,one knows little of coconuts so one does not feel qualified to post on this particular thread

16th Feb 2006, 09:28
Which sparrow, ORAC? Well ,I don't know, I - AAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhh (into the pit)

They sure make great horse trotting noises, don't they?

Cheers, y'all.

B Fraser
16th Feb 2006, 09:59
How was it delivered? African swallow or the common European swallow? :)

The African swallow is non-migratory :*

16th Feb 2006, 10:02
The African swallow is non-migratory :*

Is that the deep-throated swallow?

16th Feb 2006, 10:05
After living on a diet of coconuts, it sure has got a deep throat!

B Fraser
16th Feb 2006, 10:16
One swallow doesn't make a summer..... but it can make your day :)

16th Feb 2006, 10:17
Tits like coconuts,

Robins like worms . . .

16th Feb 2006, 10:17
The African swallow is non-migratory
Which might explain why we have so few palm trees in the UK.....

B Fraser
16th Feb 2006, 10:20
Wait a minute ! Supposing two swallows carried it together.

Send Clowns
16th Feb 2006, 10:48
I once asked Alta Vista what was the maximum airspeed of an unladen swallow. It's reply was "African or European?". I kid you not, although sadly last time I tried this it no longer worked.

Of course it then had a link to sites of Monty Python scripts and lyrics.

tony draper
16th Feb 2006, 10:55
As a rule one likes nuts but yer coconut is just to large, one always becomes sick of the sight of coconut long before it is entirely devoured.
One has a similar problem with large water melons,alus half the buggah chucked out.

16th Feb 2006, 10:59
Which African swallow are we talking about? Mosque? Red-chested? Angola? Wire-tailed?

We need to know the specifcs before we can unlock solution (sorry - wrong thread)

Krystal n chips
16th Feb 2006, 11:00
And there was me thinking they came in little blue and white packages covered in chocolate :hmm:

16th Feb 2006, 11:01
Nah! Them's penguins.

16th Feb 2006, 11:08
Aren't factory farmed ones descicated..HTF do you spell that anyway..The flaked stuff in packets.Swallows don't like that it doesn't go down yer throat as smoothly.

B Fraser
16th Feb 2006, 12:24
Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

It could grip the coconut by the husk.

16th Feb 2006, 12:34
Getting back to the original question :

Are there any other kinds? Aren't all coconuts "organic" by their nature?

... well I AM ( mainly ) organic, -

Mrs. C wouldn't have it any other way ;)


16th Feb 2006, 15:02
With grateful acknowledgement to "Coconut Connections"


It is argued that all coconuts are grown organically but this is a huge misconception. If you require a truly organic oil then beware ... not all coconuts are created equal!

In many areas there is cross-cultivation of cocoa trees and other crops such as vanilla, which are planted in the same areas, and agents are often used to keep grass and weeds manageable.

In this regard, our organic certification (OHGA - Organic Herb Growers of Australia) is a true reflection of how the coconuts are produced - on a plantation growing only traditional tall coconut palms (not hybrid varieties). This ensures a supply of high quality coconuts. Our certification guarantees the production method, from the harvesting of the coconuts, right through the low heat production process, to packaging, labeling and delivery to your door......

Therefore, even if an oil is made from organic coconuts this does not guarantee that the product you purchase is organic! If the location in which it is repackaged does not conform to organic processes, then the oil is not organic - you don't know where it's been!

Not only is our coconut oil Certified Organic but it is also a Fair Trade product.

..... and never mind the danger of one falling on your head, spare a thought for those who earn their keep preparing them for you - This is a picture of a guy de-husking freshly harvested coconuts - I don't think they have had a visit from the Health & Safety Inspector yet !


Just don't start me off on the subject of VIRGIN Coconut Oil :mad:



16th Feb 2006, 16:17
When my wife first visited Nigeria she wandered out in the backyard to gaze upon the trees there to be found, asking, 'Are those coconut trees?'

'You mean those big ones with coconuts hanging from them? Uh, yeah. Why do you ask?'

'Can you eat them?'

'Well, you have to husk them first, but yes.'

Cut to the chase... one of the house help was soon scampering up a tree to loose, 'Whomp! Whomp!', several fresh coconuts. Then came the manicuring of same with an alarmingly sharp bush knife, 'Whack! Whack!' and the drinking of the juice and the eating of the rubbery and tasteless flesh of a not-quite-ripe coconut.

Further adventures followed when she discovered that those other funny green trees actually had bananas dangling from them. Ooh, ooh! Living in a tropical paradise, we were.

I am no ornithologist but I could swear that African swallows do so migrate. Some of them spent their summers in Germany crapping on Hein-Dieter Precht's new BMW motorcycle and their winters in Nigeria playing dodgems with my Twin Otter. And I could also swear that I saw a pair of them lugging a coconut, but that might have just been Stars in my eyes.

16th Feb 2006, 17:27

17th Feb 2006, 01:28
Checking out of a hotel in Penang, I was astonished by a massive bar bill and asked to see the receipts. Daughters three and four (then aged 10 and 7) had signed for an endless supply of coconut juice at the pool-side bar. Young coconuts complete with husk, shaved nicely at the top to expose the opened shell, ice added to the juice inside and a neat little umbrella to make it look sophisticated. Five ringgit a throw!

Back home in Kampong Tungku (Petaling Jaya SS1) 'Guna the gardener clambers up one of our definitely organic coconut palms and lops off a couple of nuts for Mrs. B to polish, shave and bore. Bung in some ice and Bob's your uncle. Free too!

Nos. 3 & 4 refuse them, declaring "They're not the same!" No umbrella, you see... :hmm:

B Fraser
17th Feb 2006, 07:01
Aha ! the huge bill was due to the hotel employing a team of Asian Palm Swifts to ferry in the supply of coconuts- pic here (sans coconut) (http://orientalbirdimages.org/search.php?action=searchresult&Bird_ID=570).

It's no small irony that the bird has a tiny bill.

17th Feb 2006, 08:24
Is that the deep-throated swallow?I have one of those birds :E :E

17th Feb 2006, 08:52
[clop clop clop]
King Arthur: Whoa there!
[clop clop clop]
Soldier #1: Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
Soldier #1: Pull the other one!
Arthur: I am, ...and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Soldier #1: What? Ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes!
Soldier #1: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Soldier #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--
Soldier #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them.
Soldier #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Soldier #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Soldier #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
Soldier #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Soldier #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
Soldier #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Soldier #1: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Soldier #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Soldier #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
Soldier #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah...
Soldier #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
[clop clop clop]
Soldier #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Soldier #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
Soldier #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
Soldier #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Soldier #2: Well, why not?


B Fraser
17th Feb 2006, 09:20
Is it any coincidence that swift and swallow refer to similar types of bird :rolleyes:

17th Feb 2006, 09:42
...aaah but Swifts are unable to "perch" - they are aerial insectivores - all four toes face forwards - there's no way they would be able to grip a coconut - even working as a pair :=

17th Feb 2006, 12:17
Soldier #3: I think I know how the coconuts got here.
Soldier #1: Go on then, we don't call you bird-brain for nought.
Soldier #3: Well, some animal must have eaten whole cocounts out in the tropics and then migrated here before crapping. Were your coconuts, I mean horses a bit smelly when you got them King Arthur?