View Full Version : Chewing gum: The scourge?

13th Feb 2006, 18:41
We all know the pattern. One of the rabble here whines of being vexatiously nabbed by the Polizei for doing 95 round a blind corner on the wrong side of the road in a 50 zone, and bleats about some paltry fine. He receives wide support. Hubbub ensues. The placid slumber of Unwell_Raptor on the Bench is disturbed and he peers down at the well of the court. Flog them! he says (well, he would if he could, wouldn’t he?).

Snarling argument follows; then Flying Lawyer wearily introduces strange concepts: The Law; How The System Works; What the Chief Constable said; administers a gentle reproof; and all returns to quiet.

But why do we have all this crime in the first place? This spirit of rebellion? Some blame the Prophet. Others point a finger, not at the allumeuses but at the allumeux, I suppose, Grandpa can correct me, in France and say it all lies in the poverty.

Two or three years ago, in these very pages, we came closer to the truth. Many will remember the hot debate on the fell, sordid, disgusting habit of chewing gum, identified by one as the root of much evil, enough to be getting along with.

I agreed. As the judges put it: “I concur”.

Was I wrong? My mother, certainly, had chewing gum high on the list of forbidden substances, but only today have I stumbled on the letter of July 3, 1928, from Her Grace the Duchess of Sutherland to The Times. If, she writes, she were to address the enforcements and non-enforcements of the London police, her pen would burn the paper. Plus ça change, etc.

Butr, she then says in effect, let’s be fair. She reveals that these good men and true are forbidden to chew gum. Did you know that? Jerricho? Dr draper? Onan? “Why in heaven’s name?” she asks, and so may we.

Her Grace then descants on “the steadying effect on the nerves, the calming of tiredness, the greater efficiency provoked by chewing gum” which, she writes, and who am I to argue with a Duchess, is a question of common knowledge. Aristocratic knowledge too, it seems.

She does not take this on trust. Splendid woman, in the midst of her ducal-consort duties has made the time for her own research: “ ... on long motor runs and exhausting journeys ... I encourage my chauffeur to chew gum: he is always fresher at the end of a long excursion than if he smoked cigarettes”.

The time has come, I venture, for all of us to search inwardly, inwardly, and honestly: How do we treat our chauffeurs? How do you? Truth now! Flaps? Miss singaporegirl? Ozexpat? I blush to admit I have never given a thought to gum for the poor fella.

But, and the Duchess goes right to the heart of things, “Think of the hours a policeman is standing on his beat”. Well, think if it.

Her Grace can be scathing. “This perpetual interference in England in minor details with the liberty of the subject, whether he be prince or policeman, seems pretty absurd abroad”, from which I gather that she lived on the Continent. And who can blame her? Damn’ right.

“The English people are indeed strong in their submission, but whenever I come over I find them tiresome in their complaints about it. [Wimps!] Please give the Metropolitan policeman back his chewing gum, and merely ask him to be careful where he emits it”.

She says nothing of bubble gum.

13th Feb 2006, 19:02
To quote myself on another thread, "Blow me".

However, to the matter at hand. Ban it, as it was in Singapore until even they caved in and allowed chewing gum for 'medicinal purposes'. WOT?

People really ought to look at themselves as they chew. There is nothing more likely to make a perfectly normal, in all other respects, person look like a moron!

I cannot imagine chewing gum provoking greater efficiency, other than in the means and methods of its removal from wherever it is deposited.

I would tell them to stick it ... but they already do!

Solid Rust Twotter
13th Feb 2006, 19:10
What the Baron said with the addition of immolation for those caught gnawing their cud in public.:*

Rant, gibber, drool......

tony draper
13th Feb 2006, 19:38
As one probably commented in the first thread, one simply doesn't seem to see many people chewing gum these days,at one time just about everybody below the age of twenty would own jaws that seemed to be constantly cud chewing away,never much of a fan of the stuff meself,but if forced one could gnaw on some wrigglies spearmint, one prefered the wee sweety type with the white covering rather than the strips one wonders if it is still available.
Perhaps we have stumbled upon the reason for the wave of obesity that afflicts our tribe now,perhaps chewing gum stimulated the secretion of mucus and other vital fluids thus digesting rather than storing fat away n great lumps about the body,hmmm,one must scribble off a learned paper on the subject before the idea is plagerised.
Think one has mentioned this before, General Santa Anna scourge of Texans invented chewing gum.

Onan the Clumsy
13th Feb 2006, 19:39
Like cigarettes and Margaret Thatcher...dipping in boilingh oil is too good for them.

...and golf too :*

13th Feb 2006, 20:16
It's them that chews with their gobs open that looks really stupid/ignorant/disgusting.

13th Feb 2006, 21:03
WHAT? You've got folks who can't chew gum and walk, and you want them to chew gum and DRIVE? Have you no idea about the distraction that can be caused by manipulating the gooey substance? I tell you chewing gum is worse than talking on a mobile telephone! And FAR worse than simply sucking a cigarette. It's the chewing action that interrupts the stability of the vision, blurring the view ahead.

Loose rivets
14th Feb 2006, 05:14
DON'T SEE SO MUCH OF IT?????!!!!!! huh. Here, the local shopkeepers will keep you waiting at the till, until they have sucked in the huge bubble of pink stuff. I have given up on trying to convert the descendants of a certain Mexican, into the ways of gentile English.

14th Feb 2006, 06:51
Bloody stuff.

And to put the record straight again! Chewing gum was never banned in Singapore. It's importation for commercial resale was.

IE You could bring in a personal stash.

The duty free goods shops in Bintan and Batam were full of the stuff so chewing gum addicts would jump on a ferry and stock up 45 minutes later.

Solid Rust Twotter
14th Feb 2006, 07:17
Part of the Singapore gripe was that folks were placing their used gum on the door sensors of the commuter trains and the doors weren't closing, causing the driver to shut down and walk down the line picking off gum.:yuk:

Krystal n chips
14th Feb 2006, 07:44
Depends if you enjoy the sight of humans and football managers masticating in public I suppose:yuk: ---cows and sheep have a valid reason of course !

14th Feb 2006, 21:43
I always chuckle in despair seeing some bright young thing all done up for a night on the town, blowing gum bubbles and displaying an uncomfortable amount of adipose tissue around the exosed midriff. Real CLASSY....:yuk:

14th Feb 2006, 22:35
There is an aviation link here: the airport departure lounge is the natural habitat of the greater Canadian slack jawed open mouthed vacant eyed bolus revealing loudly masticating gum chewer, and I for one do not believe the late Millicent, Duchess of Sutherland, ever saw or heard one, or she would not have written such nonsense as she did.