View Full Version : Cheney shoots man in hunt error

12th Feb 2006, 21:19
BBC news (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4707354.stm)
The US Vice-President, Dick Cheney, has accidentally shot and injured a man during a quail hunting trip in Texas.

12th Feb 2006, 21:25
Its awful for the guy who got shot but it would be a fantastic way to get rid of Cheney...

Imagine. A US Vice President quietly ushered out of office for shooting someone. Unlikely, but a nice way to get rid of a bad man.

12th Feb 2006, 21:26
That's just what they want you to think. Be on the lookout for killer terrorist quail!:suspect:

(Remember that Jimmy Carter when he was President was attacked by a killer rabbit.:E )

Sorry to pop everybody's bubble, but the person injured had superficial flesh wounds and will be discharged from the hospital today.

12th Feb 2006, 21:26
Please God it was george W who got shot......:)

12th Feb 2006, 21:28
Or maybe Dan Quail

Getting my coat.

12th Feb 2006, 21:30
No No it's wrong.

It should read: he accidentally shot and injured a quail during a man-hunting trip in Texas. :8

12th Feb 2006, 21:36
Thousands of comedians out of work and we get you guys.:p

Onan the Clumsy
12th Feb 2006, 21:44
will be discharged from the hospital today
I hear a Steven King novel coming on.

They SAID he was discharged, but who's seen him since? eh?

Jordan D
12th Feb 2006, 22:02
You can almost imagine the comedians getting ready for their field day on this one.


Onan the Clumsy
12th Feb 2006, 22:56
Actually he thought the thread was going to read:

Cheney shoots man in Hun Terror

Ian Corrigible
12th Feb 2006, 23:17
About time those AARP militants were brought down to earth. Always suspected there was a conspiracy involving Stena stairlifts... :E


12th Feb 2006, 23:24
They grown them tough in Texas, (he's probably from Oklahoma)


The guy on the left was the one what was shot.

12th Feb 2006, 23:28
Cheney's reliable intelligence from the FBI collobarated by the CIA verified from a single source indictated that the man might be a "turkey"

Onan the Clumsy
12th Feb 2006, 23:30
I'm not sure about "superficial flesh wounds " con
Armstrong said Whittington was mostly injured on his right side, with the pellets hitting his cheek, neck and chest, and was taken to the hospital by ambulance.

But wait, it gets better...

Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president was with Whittington, a lawyer from Austin, Texas, and his wife at the hospital on Sunday afternoon.

12th Feb 2006, 23:42
Onan, I can't believe you would possibly believe that an attorney would bring up a lawsuit.:suspect:

Shame on you, I say shame, er, just how much do you think he'll win and can we figure out a way we can get some of the money?:E

13th Feb 2006, 01:29
Apparently Whittington has been taken to an undisclosed location for his own personal safety.

13th Feb 2006, 02:19
I happen to be a "line lawyer," and in my former life my law school used to hold an annual "Summers V. Tice" skeet shooting tournament.


Buster Hyman
13th Feb 2006, 03:50
He probably thought he saw a WMD!

Weally Massive Duck!
Whittington Must Die!
Watch Man Drop?

:hmm: I dunno...slow day here...:zzz:

Solid Rust Twotter
13th Feb 2006, 04:40
What happened to the old adage about only shooting at targets you can identify?

Loose rivets
13th Feb 2006, 04:43
This fuss wouldn't be acceptable to the likes of Mr Draper. Load of huggy fluffs.

The British way would be to order one's servants to patch the man up and give him a new five pound note.

Oh, and to say ‘bad luck old chap.' before adjourning to the loggia for brandy.

Marvin the Robot
13th Feb 2006, 05:43
Nobody mention Americans and a tendency towards "friendly fire". :*

13th Feb 2006, 06:05
This is genuinely an internal American affair, because American citizens only were involved.

I urge you to shut up and don't stir up any more in this friendly fire case.

As for me, I consider it a great progress from US usual practice: as far as they shoot themselve instead of British soldiers, Italian journalists and intelligence officer, Iraqi civilian............what else could you ask for?

Marvin the Robot
13th Feb 2006, 06:19
At least Blair wasn't visiting.

Lame ducks are just too easy.

13th Feb 2006, 06:23
I mean who shoots a small bird like quail with buckshot. You would have to spend a day picking the pellets out. Miss just one and break a tooth. Prats.

13th Feb 2006, 08:30
The spin will be that now the Administration is doing something about border security. The VP is taking illegal immigration seriously!!

13th Feb 2006, 08:39
Its all part of the new "shoot first, ask questions later" policy enacted by Cheney and Co.

I mean who shoots a small bird like quail with buckshot. You would have to spend a day picking the pellets out. Miss just one and break a tooth. Prats.

And you really think that multi-multi millionairs shot for food? :ooh:

13th Feb 2006, 12:28
The guy on the left was the one what was shot.

Pity it wasn't the guy on the right that was shot.......:p

13th Feb 2006, 12:39
Sorry to pop everybody's bubble, but the person injured had superficial flesh wounds and will be discharged from the hospital today.

Well according to lunchtime news (correct, I don't have a life) he is still in intensive care!

(Do we thinks one is very injured, or just milking it a tad pending a lawsuit?) :suspect: :rolleyes:

13th Feb 2006, 13:34
Cheney gets it wrong...is this a precedent?!

13th Feb 2006, 13:45
Cheney just doesn't give a flying duck...

PS Just heard that Whittington in fact was Scooter Libby and Cheney has been heard saying: "Look whoz leaking now!".

13th Feb 2006, 15:37
Cheney gets it wrong...is this a precedent?!
No - a vice-precedent.

OK, I'll go......

Jo Cover
13th Feb 2006, 15:54
I thought the americans were known for shooting the wrong things... I mean thay guy does look like a bird doesn't he??

13th Feb 2006, 16:09
thay guy does look like a bird doesn't he??

Hmmm.....one of them does look like a t!t.

13th Feb 2006, 16:10
He should have just shot Bush:E

Onan the Clumsy
14th Feb 2006, 02:09
At least he didn't shoot Whittington in the Dick

West Coast
14th Feb 2006, 03:00
The shootee is a lawyer, was it really such a bad thing?

14th Feb 2006, 03:28
Vice-presidential inherent powers, it's on the Constitution somewhere.

14th Feb 2006, 14:33
"The Late Show With David Letterman" (CBS)
"Good news ladies and gentleman, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction … It's Dick Cheney."
* * *
"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
* * *
"Honestly, I don't know what all of the fuss is about. What's more American than shooting your hunting buddy in the ass?"
* * *
"The guy who got gunned down is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."
* * *
From "Cheney's Excuses," Monday night's Top 10 list: "I thought the guy was trying to go gay cowboy on me."

"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)
A partial transcript:
Jon Stewart: "Yes, as you've just heard, a near-tragedy over the weekend in south Texas. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt at a political supporter's ranch. Making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting VP since Alexander Hamilton.
"Hamilton, of course, shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird.
* * *
The other player in the drama? Ranch owner and eyewitness Katharine Armstrong.
Katharine Armstrong: "We were shooting a covey of quail. The vice president and two others got out of the car to walk up the covey."
Jon Stewart: "What kind of hunting story begins with getting out of your car? As I sighted the great beast before us, my shaking hands could barely engage the parking brake. Slowly, I turned off the A/C and silenced my sub-woofers…"
* * *
Katharine Armstrong: "A bird flushed. The vice president took aim at the bird and shot and unfortunately, Mr. Whittington was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty well."
Jon Stewart: "Peppered. There you have it. Harry Whittington, seasoned to within an inch of his life.
* * *
Jon Stewart: "I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush.
"And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face."
Jon Stewart: "But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?"
Rob Corddry: "Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak."
Jon Stewart: "That's horrible."
Rob Corddry: "Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know 'how' we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little 'covey' of theirs.
Jon Stewart: "I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob."
Rob Corddry: "Well, whatever it is they do … coo .. they're cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.
Jon Stewart: "Okay, well, on a purely human level, is the vice president at least sorry?"
Rob Corddry: "Jon, what difference does it make? The bullets are already in this man's face. Let's move forward across party lines as a people … to get him some sort of mask."

"Jimmy Kimmel Live" (ABC)
Among the jokes in consideration for Monday's telecast:
"It's part of the president's new Social Security plan. Once you hit 78, kablamo."
* * *
"Luckily, the guy he shot was wearing the body armor that never got shipped to the troops."
* * *
"You know what they say, if Dick Cheney comes out of his hole and shoots an old man in the face, 6 more weeks of winter."

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" (NBC)
"Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C. Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear."
* * *
"When people found out he shot a lawyer his popularity is now at 92%"
* * *
"After he shot the guy, he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?' "
* * *
"Something I just found out today about the incident. Do you know that Dick Cheney tortured the guy for a half hour before he shot him?"
* * *
"Cheney's defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the White House since Bill Clinton."

Krystal n chips
14th Feb 2006, 16:54
Hardly a precedent--sadly---:E ---didn't a Mr A. Burr do the same to a Mr A Hamilton--albeit many , many years ago ??.

Just wondering if it is still common practice for hunters to have their trophies er, stuffed and mounted. ;) :hmm:

14th Feb 2006, 17:04
Or mounted and stuffed, as the case may be. :eek:

15th Feb 2006, 03:54
Mmm. I see you're familiar with what goes on 'down in the woods today', t1 ;)

I confess to once shooting someone in the face, down in the woods; fortunately, it never made the papers. They were a good deal younger than 78 though... :E

15th Feb 2006, 05:10
The wires tonight report the victim as suffering a heart attack on the eve of his discharge from hospital, as a result of one of the chest-lodged pellets moving into contact with the said organ.

Now if he croaks, I know damned well what would happen to the shooter, in this country.

Will Cheney do time for manslaughter?

Should we have a poll?

15th Feb 2006, 05:54
Knowing what we know about Dick Cheney responsibilities in Iraqi bloodshed, he should have been sentenced for manslaughter years ago!
(Sadly,Masters of Wars are not often presented to judges for the killing they triggered)

15th Feb 2006, 06:28
Grandpa, this is a hunting accident, not a war. My question was framed around the context of a hunting accident. Can we leave Iraq for the Hamster Wheel?

15th Feb 2006, 09:48
I always will remember
'Twas a year ago November
I went out to shoot some deer
On a morning bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum
The game laws would allow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle;
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey
What a haul I made that day!
I tied them to my fender and
I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a cow.

The Law was very firm, it
Took away my permit
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turns out there was a reason:
Cows were out of season, and
One of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it
And I say, "There's nothin' to it!
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot."
And there's ten stuffed heads
In my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a pure-bred Guernsey cow.
Tom Lehrer - The Hunting Song

15th Feb 2006, 10:54
Will Cheney do time for manslaughter?

Should we have a poll?
:hmm:Duck Cheney will have to face a Grand Jury when the guy croaks. The shooter is always responsible, although they try to blame Whittington for not announcing himself.

I was wondering if the hunting experts on this esteemed forum could confirm that 30 yards was the real distance looking at the damage caused, knowing the group was wearing warm clothes.

It's amazing that no statement was issued by Cheney's press officer or the White House after the incident. It took almost 24 hours and only when press asking questions. The first news was published by the local paper. These guys really must live in a Nixonian bunker... :hmm:

15th Feb 2006, 12:11
...context of a hunting accident.

I think Mr. Cheney should follow up and finish the job. Anyone familiar with going after tigers and leopards (this one looked a little long in the tooth too...), would agree that in this context, the bravest thing to do would have been to locate the wounded animal ASAP and put an end to its misery. As Jim Corbett might have said, "9 times out of 10, the animal became a man-eater because of having been injured by some sportsman, the injuries sustained leaving little alternative to the animal..."

So go on Cheney, there's a good chap, finish the job! Uhmmm, whether the real job is in the ME or not...?! ;) :uhoh:

Onan the Clumsy
15th Feb 2006, 12:12
they try to blame Whittington for not announcing himself.
Who says he didn't? The only guy who could say for certain is in a hospital bed. I've read enough cheap detective fiction to know how this scenario plays out.

Blacksheep I hope you didn't get it in their hair :ugh: