View Full Version : Something to offend everyone! ..

6th Feb 2006, 00:16

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog! is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
! "Are you sure it's mine?"

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides


6th Feb 2006, 16:07
It's been posted now for 16 hours, and it would seem that nobody's offended:cool:

6th Feb 2006, 16:16
I'll bet Chacha is offended it took 16 hours for a reply:\

Get the placards out Chacha


Flap 5
6th Feb 2006, 16:28
That last one may have offended some in Hong Kong. It has a Disneyland and it is now in China. :E

Mac the Knife
6th Feb 2006, 18:21
Something to offend everyone! ..

Hmmm. I don't see anything to offend the you-know-whos.

Perhaps you don't fancy decapitation?


8th Feb 2006, 02:22
The animal description and recipe is probably true in many french zoos

8th Feb 2006, 13:42
haha! I found them amusing! :ok:

8th Feb 2006, 14:12
Well I for one am appalled, I just don't know what you can be thinking?

Offensive article and not a cartoon in sight!!!!

Baron rouge
8th Feb 2006, 17:04
The animal description and recipe is probably true in many french zoos

Get out of your isle and check it yourself:eek: you'll have to spend your hollidays somewhere else than in a pub, but remember, they rarely show snails or frogs in French zoos:D

8th Feb 2006, 17:11
Okay Chacha, I'll bite and be the first one to be offended;)

I may never talk to you again:D

8th Feb 2006, 22:10
I saw a sign on a cage in a zoo in Thailand, "Please do not eat the animals!"

9th Feb 2006, 02:10
We tried to visit the Zoo while based in Kinshasa...DR Congo...was told nothing there...people had eaten everything. Absolutely true.

Solid Rust Twotter
9th Feb 2006, 06:04

Same in Lubumbashi with the addition of people having moved into the cages and enclosures and it's now a village community...:hmm: