View Full Version : The Franco - Britannique alliance...

5th Feb 2006, 14:57
It is sometimes forgotten that we are 2 nations separated by merely 20 miles of English channel (or manche) and language.

Yet, we have accomplished so much that is great together... :ok:

My contribution (http://www.flightlevel350.com/viewer.php?id=278).

Disclaimer: In posting this thread, Oi hereby reclaim the rights that were accorded to me when subscribing to PPRuNe under the JB ROE as amended (http://www.pprune.org/forums/announcement.php?f=16) under paragraph (1) subsections (1), (2) and (4). This is a positive thread, so help me God. :ok:

5th Feb 2006, 15:48
Ah yes. the entente cordiale, especially at Mers-el-Kebir.:} :}

5th Feb 2006, 15:56
This thread is supposed to be high-lighting the positive aspects of Anglo-French cooperation! Naughty boy Bahn-Jeaux... :(

5th Feb 2006, 16:00
Oops, sorry but with you using the words co-operation and French in the same sentence, I thought you had made a typo.

6th Feb 2006, 07:33
the Channel Tunnel......... :\

6th Feb 2006, 08:17
Surely you mean the tunnel sous la manche Monsiuer Orac?

6th Feb 2006, 08:59
Vive la difference, C'est magnifique! Et j'adore les Francaises.

6th Feb 2006, 13:06
.....Was it a good idea to let the Brits build the railway for our fast train to London?

For the moment it's still running.........but if any trouble occurs, they could blame the French..............

Biggles Flies Undone
6th Feb 2006, 16:11
City Gent: But where did they get the idea from?

Rustic: From Harold. He's that sheep there over under the elm. He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep. He's the ring-leader. He has realized that a sheep's life consists of standing around for a few months and then being eaten. And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep. He's patently hit on the idea of escape.

City Gent: Well why don't you just get rid of Harold?

Rustic: Because of the enormous commercial possibilities should he succeed.

Two Frenchmen stand in front of a diagram of a sheep adapted for flying. They speak rapidly in French, much of it pseudo.

First Frenchman: Bonsoir - ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-français ... maintenant ... baa-aa, baa-aa... nous avons, dans la tête, le cabinc. Ici, on se trouve le petit capitaine Anglais, Monsieur Trubshawe.

Second Frenchman: Vive Brian, wherever you are.

First Frenchman: D'accord, d'accord. Maintenant, je vous présente mon collègue, le pouf célèbre, Jean-Brian Zatapathique.

Transfers his moustache to Second Frenchman

Second Frenchman: Maintenant, le mouton ... le landing ... les wheels, bon.

Opens diagram to show wheels on sheep's legs.

First Frenchman: Bon, les wheels, ici.

Second Frenchman: C'est formidable, n'est ce pas ... (unintelligibly indicates motor at rear of sheep)

First Frenchman: Les voyageurs ... les bagages ... ils sont ... ici!

Triumphantly opens the rest of the diagram to reveal the whole brilliant arrangement. They run round flapping their arms and baa-ing. Cut to pepperpots in supermarket with off-screen interviewer.

First Pepperpot: Oh yes, we get a lot of French people round here.


cessna l plate
6th Feb 2006, 17:46
Yes, very nice. Let's all say nice things about our French cousins. Wonderful.

May I take this opportunity to remind you all of 3 little things.

1. As you enter JB you will note that part of the intro page includes the phrase "...blame the French..."

2. On and off we have been at war with this nation for the biggest part of 1000 years. In the last 100 years we have saved their garlick infested scrawny necks twice and still they shaft us!! (See common agricultural policy)

3. May I remind you of the words of the greatest ever Englishman, one Sir Winston Churchill
When De Gaulle told him "I was born a Frenchman, I have lived as a Frenchman and I will die a Frenchman" Winnie replied "Good God man, have you no ambition?"

No lets give all this hugging our neighbours rubbish a rest and get back to what JB is for.


6th Feb 2006, 18:54
Flyblue! Flyblue! Etes-vous là? Voyons donc! Aucun mot de moi. Silencieux.

Maple 01
6th Feb 2006, 21:41
La plus grande croix que je dois porter est la croix de Lorraine


6th Feb 2006, 21:52
Très bien Davaar!

Flyblue will be ever so proud of you when she gets back from acoss the pond.

6th Feb 2006, 23:39
Maybe just the one, but wholly innocent; Churchill to Eden, in some annoyance: "Anthony! I do wish you would stop translating my French into French";

and perhaps Churchill at Strasbourg: "Hommes de la France! Ayez peur! Je vais parler français”.

Remarquez that I have done this on diskette so I can get the accents in. Hold [second person plural]! Then! By Blue! (not Flyblue, of course).

7th Feb 2006, 12:12
We all have our crosses to bear Mr Maple but you must admit Cessna l Plate has hit it on the head.

tony draper
7th Feb 2006, 13:59
One has been away,whats all this about a Franco - Britannique alliance?? one won't have it I tells yer.
It's agin nature it is
Incidently, that surely should read "Britannique -- Franco alliiance"

7th Feb 2006, 14:14
Whichever way you like it, it should be more something like it:

"Britannico-Française".......even if it sounds and looks funny.
(I would have expected more prudence from you and let the French come first.....Seems you are sleepy today)

7th Feb 2006, 14:18
Of course the two countries have got on with each other for years, haven't they. Haven't they? Well I suppose 1066 smarted a bit but then after that there has been bags of co-operation. Joint military manoevers at Crecy Agincourt, Trafalgar not to mention many others around the globe. I mean to say ask any red blooded male what he thinks of Frenchwomen, they love them. Catherine Deneuve reduced the males over here to a simpering load of adoring fans, speaking of but just one personal favourite. Alliance, indeed there is, of exactly what is something else, but one is sure that there is of many common interests

tony draper
7th Feb 2006, 14:51
Hmmm, we may well have to pool our nukes shortly what with the present world situationl,so one is willing to bite the bullet forra while.
But one still refuses to eat snails!!!

Lon More
7th Feb 2006, 18:49
j'adore les Francaises
Moi aussi, but I couldn't eat a whole one

7th Feb 2006, 18:54
You know, it wasn't very long ago that the North Sea was just another big, fertile valley (http://observer.guardian.co.uk/science/story/0,1596,1046445,00.html) ...!
'Britain has been occupied by human beings for the past 500,000 years and during that time sea levels have dropped, linking our land to Europe on five occasions,' said Gupta. 'In fact, we were more often connected to the continent than we have been an island. Our current status is really the unusual one. That makes this sort of research all the more important.'
Thank goodness the English managed to steal across at least 5 times in order to acquire good-looking French women for breeding purposes! ;) :ok:

tony draper
7th Feb 2006, 19:13
Whereas they were sneaking tother way ignoring the women and stealing all the truffles.

Maple 01
7th Feb 2006, 19:15
Well I suppose 1066 smarted a bit

Point of order there, they were Normans NOT French - being done over by the descendants of Vikings has no shame attached......surprised you missed that Mr Drapes

Romeo Charlie
7th Feb 2006, 21:52
Indeed. Norman the Conqueror also used mercenaries - in fact most of his army were such. The De Blounts came from Denmark and were his archers, his Infantry were Bottreaux from Belgium and his cavalry were Allans from Georgia. Allan, Blunt and Bottrill are common surnames in the south of England as they were awarded land as payment for helping him conquer Britain. It seems the French had little to do with it!

Baron rouge
8th Feb 2006, 12:04
Here we go again, the old Saxon trick of not admitting having been beaten by a Frenchman:)
So a bit of history
WILLIAM I 'THE CONQUEROR' (r. 1066-1087)

Born around 1028, William was the illegitimate son of Duke Robert I of Normandy, and Herleve (also known as Arlette), daughter of a tanner in Falaise. Known as 'William the Bastard' to his contemporaries, his illegitimacy shaped his career when he was young.

Not only was William half french by his mother, but he was also the Duke of Normandy, a french County;

Admit it then , England is merely a French Colony since 1066 :ok:

Maple 01
8th Feb 2006, 12:10

If they were French it would have been called the French invasion, not Norman! Fair point about him being a bustard though

8th Feb 2006, 12:21
This [email protected] is at the origin of Rosbif royalty!

Understand now why so many Brits become republican at last.

Baron rouge
8th Feb 2006, 12:43
If they were French it would have been called the French invasion, not Norman! Fair point about him being a bustard though

As your link says:

The Normans were quick to become French, particularly since they were a minority in their new dutchy and a disproportionate number of the new people were young male Vikings who took local women for wives. After a few generations, the Norwegian language and customs were fading fast and the Normans were French.

Admit it at last maple(that sounds Canadian)the Angles and Saxons, 2 german tribes ruling over England were defeated by a French!!! thats a fact, it may be hard to swallow but England is nothing but a French Colony:O :O :O

tony draper
8th Feb 2006, 12:49
The French gave the Viking huge chunks of land so they could carry on with the national passtime of eating undisturbed.

In 911, the French king, Charles the Simple, was able to make an agreement with the Viking warleader Hrolf Ganger, later called Rollo. Charles gave Hrolf the title of duke, and granted him and his followers possession of Normandy. In return, Hrolf swore fealty to Charles, converted to Christianity, and undertook to defend the northern region of France against the incursions of other Viking groups.

8th Feb 2006, 15:10
And since there were allready large numbers of Viking bastards over here when William landed once can assume the alliance began from then. Pity the sibling rivalry has persisted for so long though, there have been many unfortunate spats since then.

8th Feb 2006, 16:46
Normans, French? Pish & fiddlesticks.

It reminds me of the Simpsons episode when Lisa was Joan of Arc:

Lisa: I've had a vison from God! He's told me to lead us to victory over the English!
Homer (as Joan of Arc's dad): But we're French! We don't even have a word for victory!

Baron rouge
8th Feb 2006, 16:49
Baron Rouge,
pistols at dawn...be there, dont run away like the rest of your countrymen.:mad:

I will be there , but would I trust somebody whose ancestors allied with the Burgonds to kill the young girl(Jeane d'Arc) who threw them out of France ?:p

8th Feb 2006, 19:26
.....this national anthem of yours ("God save he/she royal") is a second hand one offered to you by our Louis XIV, and originally composed for him.

What could you do without us?

Sing "Yellow Submarine"?

8th Feb 2006, 19:35
1. “Known as 'William the Bastard' to his contemporaries”; but not often, I should think, to his face.

2. Anthem to “our Louis XIV”. Fat lot of good it did your Louis XVI.

Maple 01
8th Feb 2006, 20:01
and we passed it on to the Americans as ......er .......something

8th Feb 2006, 20:55
Well maple we do have a few [email protected] over here, but I don't think that they are all French.;)

We have some English ones, Italian ones, German ones, Mexican ones and obviously American ones, but not all are French.

tony draper
8th Feb 2006, 21:13
One understands that Her Majesty recieved a letter from the French President recently expressing their deep regret that France ever helped those dammed uppity colonials in the 1773 rebellion against the Britsh Crown,and promising that never again would they make the same mistake.

8th Feb 2006, 21:19
So that's what happened, thanks Tony.:p

8th Feb 2006, 23:38
Looking at my Brit passport and wondering why it has French around the coat of arms...!

French women are way superior, got tired of the pot-bellied Pom girls with huge backsides and small t-shirts.

8th Feb 2006, 23:48
Petit Pois, Rodney! What are you thinking?

Concorde being Franglais for harmony? Mais non, we will not have this! What have the frogs ever given us? (with the obvious exception of fine wine, fine cheese, fine cuisine and Gerard Depardiardaiardeiaeeasomethingorother).

Next thing you know they'll be wanting an airport!

9th Feb 2006, 19:52
Tour de France next edition is going to London!

Think they found a road large enough to allow two bicyles to drive side by side.......
(seriously folks, I'm waiting from datas by British sportsmen (women...) about the native difficulties of cycling in your beautifull country, because we allready know of Spanish and Italian mountains, of Belgian pavement, but nobody told us about it.....except maybe the rain?)

tony draper
9th Feb 2006, 20:28
Albanian bicycle thief gangs could be a prob,we have one round here, next to picking pockets its their second most popular industry.

9th Feb 2006, 22:45
What is this bicycle race anyway; is it some kind of Raleigh?

10th Feb 2006, 09:02
Grandpa - to ride a bicycle in London, you need to dress up as a gay Power Ranger, ride all over the road making no signals and ignoring any and all road laws. You then need to shake your fist, swear and make all kinds of threats to me, for having the temerity to be driving a car within 100 meters of your 500 gear 'mountain' bike.

You then need to have a look of abject horror on your face as I drive over your bike and continue merrily on my way.

10th Feb 2006, 09:15
............and now that the rules are set in London, tell me please about riding in country roads.....

tony draper
10th Feb 2006, 09:28
We used to have lots of Frenchmen peddling bicycles about our streets here in the olden days, they used to festoon themselves with those red onions that don't have much taste and sell em door to door,one hasn't seen them about the place for a while.
Tasteless red onions can be had from the corner shops now anyway along with all sorts of other exotic tasteless fruits,yer cant wack a proper English onion,bring tears to yer eyes they do.

Good word that "Festooned"

10th Feb 2006, 13:28
And don't forget Ken's congestion charge. It'll be 10 Eur per bicyclette, je crois.

10th Feb 2006, 17:59
How about a song?

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside
Oh I do like to be beside the sea....
With a hammer in my hand,
knocking froggies in the sand,
beside the seaside...beside the sea.

Thank you, thank you......the applause is welcome.:p

10th Feb 2006, 18:49
............and now that the rules are set in London, tell me please about riding in country roads.....

I shouldn't rouler par bicyclette in any of the country lanes in the part of Blighty I live in, Grandpa. You'd be mown down by one of:

Farm Tractor.
Range-Rover maniacally driven by country-dwelling, red-brace-wearing city-trader.
Range-Rover driven by harassed mum on school-run.
Village idiot in Ford Fiesta with thumping rap "music" doing 60 mph (100 kph to you) round a high-hedged blind bend.
White van en-route to next plumbing/electric/painting job.
Mad motor-cyclist who thinks every country lane in Britain is Brand's Hatch.
Escaped cattle.

Apart from that, North Hampshire is great cycling country.......and probably much like France for cycling through!

10th Feb 2006, 21:33
Good luck to the riders anyway.
We will keep our sweet onions Tony...........and our strong mustard.

tony draper
10th Feb 2006, 22:28
One likes French Mustard Grandad,one has a jar in ones cupboard as we speak,one would hardly call it strong though,different and pleasing yes,now English mustard can bring tears to ones eyes.
A word of warning here,never buy happy shopper mustard, tiz shite,a sort of pathetic attempt to combine French and English mustard in one jar and nowhere near as tasty as either.

11th Feb 2006, 00:49
For centuries, the Britons stuck to their beers and the French to their wines. Apart from the priveledged few of course. Then came the revolution. German and Belgian beers began to flow. The Chileans, Californians and even Ozzies started sending their wines to Europe also. All part of the great conspiracy in order to divide two great nations.

Ahhh, for a pint of 'olde Thumpers' on draught... ;)

11th Feb 2006, 00:59
One's longbow is braced and ready !!!

cessna l plate
11th Feb 2006, 09:07
See. I knew it.
The back-door invasion by the froggies is starting. This year a bike race, next year total rule french style! (Although the thought of certain members of the royal family meeting mme guilotine does appeal!)

Are we going to have to change our rules of the road to allow them to ride on the wrong side?? As it is called Le Tour De France, exactly which part of the UK is governed by France?? (I know president Blair would like to be all the UK)

This is just the thin end of the wedge, rise up and revolt against the revolting French! If this is the thanks we get for saving them from the sausage eaters TWICE, then lets invade them.

11th Feb 2006, 15:15
To begin, I suggest all parts of UK with a French name to be ruled by Jacques Chirac (if you are good boys and girls I will tell you the difference between Nelson Mandela and Jacquot.

As a favour we will let the Brits manage all "pubs"here (not including the Irish ones)

tony draper
11th Feb 2006, 15:50
Its our fault,we should never have given France to De Gaul to play with after the war,,we should have just assasinated him which is what both Roosevelt and Truman wanted us to do, the cousins have annoying habit of being right.

11th Feb 2006, 16:48
And the French would have liked it too. Going by memory, he only got to the UK in the first place in an RN destroyer, one hop ahead of the beaux gendarmes.

11th Feb 2006, 18:55
We used to have lots of Frenchmen peddling bicycles about our streets here in the olden days, they used to festoon themselves with those red onions that don't have much taste and sell em door to door,one hasn't seen them about the place for a while.
Tasteless red onions can be had from the corner shops now anyway along with all sorts of other exotic tasteless fruits,yer cant wack a proper English onion,bring tears to yer eyes they do.

I used to think that they came all the way by bicycle, so I encouraged my Mum to buy a string. It was many years later that I discovered that they came by VAN. BBC News showed them restocking their bicycles at North Shields (or maybe Tynemouth).

If I'd known, we'd never have bought their stinking onions . . .

tony draper
11th Feb 2006, 19:57
Well it was a improvement of fifty years earlier when Frenchmen visiting England were obliged by law to wear a sackcloth robe walk in the gutter and ring a bell every ten yards.
Good idea actually but one doesn't think those feckin huggy fluffs in the EU would allow it now sadly.
One understand the similar law that applied to Scotsmen was just repealed twenty years ago.

Onan the Clumsy
11th Feb 2006, 20:02
What is this bicycle race anyway; is it some kind of Raleigh?
Thus spoke Davaar

You know, you don't have to get all huffy about it

11th Feb 2006, 21:19
Are you trying to put a spoke in my wheel?

11th Feb 2006, 22:02
To get back on thread...

French car, British designers

(Although Nicole was much nicer than than the new girl :( )

Onan the Clumsy
11th Feb 2006, 22:35
No I was just tyred of this thread. I feel like I've been chained to it.

Sorry, I didn't mean to deralieur it

11th Feb 2006, 22:41
Ich auch. This is just a Franco-fil.

Onan the Clumsy
11th Feb 2006, 23:21
It's been quite a trek to read all these posts, especially as I read then in tendem with another thread.

12th Feb 2006, 08:00
This [email protected] is at the origin of Rosbif royalty!
Understand now why so many Brits become republican at last.

Sorry, Grandpa, but there were kings is these 'ere isles for centuries before Guillaume le Batarde was even a glimmer in hi pa's e'en.

13th Feb 2006, 06:21
..........or did I miss something.

Sorry for you British republicans!
You are suffering under French dynasty since centuries.
Their French logo is allways under your eyes.
Even this "Ordre de la Jarretière" is an insult ..................
It's time for a British 14th of July so you may accomplish all our steps (try to spare Bonaparte/Napoleon transition then)

13th Feb 2006, 08:25
You are suffering under French dynasty since centuries

Rubbish! it´s German. And before that we had the Dutch, you know, William of Orange. Invited in by parliament under strict control

We did try that Republic malarkey with old Cromwell. Didn´t go down well. So we decided a nice constitutional monarchy was better.

As they say, the UK is a republic disguised as a monarchy - and France is a monarchy disguised as a republic.

Shocking how much power you give that President chap. Almost as bad as the Americans.....

13th Feb 2006, 12:58
You are right!

13th Feb 2006, 13:16
One just happened to watch a talk-show here over the weekend in which the surviving successor to the French throne (he who would have been King) made an appearance.

He struck me as an altogether amiable and 'down to earth' sort of bloke. But as soon as he smiled for the first time, the true resemblance struck me:

Both he and HRH Prince Charles share an almost identical smile. They tend to run in paddocks or at least genes. Or maybe I'm thinking of another Royal... :O

13th Feb 2006, 13:33
And the French EAT horse, don't they?

13th Feb 2006, 13:45
Try putting "french victories" (without the quotes) into Google and open the first choice.

13th Feb 2006, 14:00
Hmmmm, that's odd, I get:

Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Oh well, EDF (Electricité de France) buying up all those UK power companies must be OK then. At least they won't be charging for nought... ;)

13th Feb 2006, 16:12
Because it was cheaper than beef.
After reading about this meat as a vector for some diseases, mainly because it is imported from far away countries where "traceability" and "hygienics" don't mean much, I stopped, thinking this meat could be as dangerous as the mad cow you still remember .
And now, it's enough to see it in a butcher's shop and I don't feel well, don't even think to see it in my plate.

13th Feb 2006, 16:22
I don't remember any mad cows Grandpa.

But that might be because of the beef I ate in the Eighties.:ugh:

14th Feb 2006, 06:56
.....and remember the best!