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Gerhardt
3rd Feb 2006, 16:15
One of the ladies here mentioned that she's changing to the 6:30-3:00 shift. I mentioned that I'm up by 6:10, out the door by 6:20 and here by 6:29. She asked if I remembered to brush my teeth every morning.

"yep, that's job #1"

"but jobs #2 and #3 can be combined in the shower, saving some time"

She hasn't spoken to me since.

OCCWMF
3rd Feb 2006, 16:29
A #2 in the shower? Disgusting:E

tart1
3rd Feb 2006, 17:03
I hope job #2 is only a wee rather than a poo!! :uhoh: :uhoh:


(It would take ages to push it down through the plug hole and then you might be late for work.)

Ad astra per aspera
3rd Feb 2006, 17:17
It would take ages to push it down through the plug hole and then you might be late for work.

Precisely, which is why the discerning gentleman will only combine job #4 through to #6 in the shower. Otherwise I could not guarantee a timely arrival at my place of work.



...toast is always a bit soggy though! :(

EI-WIN
3rd Feb 2006, 17:24
Tis funny you mention trying to get a no. 2 down the shower drain.

It reminded me of the first time I ever visited France. I booked a double room "with bath" in one of the more traditional pensions (this was back in the eighties). As it so happens, a short time after unpacking, I was overcome with a need to "go". The bathroom had a bath, a wash basin and what I learned later on to be a bidet, but no toilet... :confused: Whilst sitting on the bidet, I mulled over the just how the thirds were going to get down that tiny outlet and when I'd finished, I found out.

Obviously, later on I discreetly enquired why my bathroom didn't have a toilet. All the toilets are on the landing, monsieur! For the rest of my 2 weeks there, I found the bidet quite OK for a no. 1, if a little stressful on the thigh muscles... :O

Loose rivets
3rd Feb 2006, 20:56
errr..........what's a morning?:zzz:

tart1
3rd Feb 2006, 23:22
Well, this is probably of no interest to anyone but ........... it takes me 1.5 hours to get ready in the morning. People think I am strange but I need to have a proper cup of tea, poo, shower, hair dry/straighten, breakfast, teeth clean, make-up on, etc, etc.

And I move at about a third of my normal speed first thing in the morning. :hmm:

G-SCUD
3rd Feb 2006, 23:37
Whatever happened to the 4 Sís:
Shave
Shower
Sh1t
Shoeshine
???

ExSimGuy
4th Feb 2006, 02:56
You're not alone! And I don't have to do the "hair straighten" or the "make-up" (the other guys at work would worry if I did :E )

Trentino
4th Feb 2006, 03:17
women poo?

Romeo Delta
4th Feb 2006, 03:25
No way... Women don't poo... They go indisposed for a while, read a magazine or something.

My morning usually starts by hitting the snooze bar about 15 times. :uhoh:

Loose rivets
4th Feb 2006, 04:06
Mmmm....someone forgot the bit about putting on their crotchless panties.:D

BlueWolf
4th Feb 2006, 08:09
0545: Alarm No.1.
0545 - 0615: Multiple Snooze button strikes
0616: Turn bloody thing off
0620: Alarm No.2
0625: Timer on kettle switches on
0630: Crawl out of bed, bladder bursting, stumble to dunny, fall over Medium Cat who is attacking feet
0632: Feed Medium Cat
0633: Prepare berrocca for Mme Wolf, cup of tea for self
0634: Take berrocca into bedroom, deposit Medium Cat on bed
0635: Back to bathroom, sit down with cup of tea for relaxing constitutional, listen to screams from Mme Wolf who is being attacked by Medium Cat (playful wee fellow that he is)
0645: Open window, turn on fan, back to kitchen, make coffee for self and Mme Wolf
0650: Release hounds
0651: Sit on deck with dogs, drink coffee, play with Medium Cat who has exited bedroom and is attacking feet again
0655: Make lunch/sandwiches/assembled leftovers, fill thermos, start truck, place travelling mug on dashboard
0659: Seize quantity of random leftovers and flee to waiting truck as sounds of younger household members stirring from slumber begin to permeate consciousness
0700: On the road, sipping coffee, leftovers for breakfast, seven o'clock news on Radio Live (Martin Devlin Show), phew, time to relax.

God I hate mornings.

ExSimGuy
4th Feb 2006, 09:19
women poo?Take my word for it- I've come across several who were "right schitz" :rolleyes:

tart1
4th Feb 2006, 10:10
Mmmm....someone forgot the bit about putting on their crotchless panties.
Don't always remember panties, crotchless or otherwise. :E

ExSimGuy
4th Feb 2006, 10:14
Don't always remember panties, crotchless or otherwise. :EMY kinda (forgetful) gal! Saves time later in the day :E :E :E

AerBabe
4th Feb 2006, 12:05
Weekday morning:

0645 Alarm goes off, press snooze
0651 Alarm goes off again, press snooze
0657 Alarm goes off again, press snooze
0700 Mr AB's alarm goes off, I get up
0740 Somehow I'm ready to leave for work and I'm thankful again it's only a 15 minute drive

Weekend morning:

As above, but an hour earlier.

The quickest I've ever managed to get ready in the morning is 10 minutes. I need to wash my face and find some clean uniform, after all.
Once, I managed to come home from work after a particularly grubby day, which included driving a tractor and building a fence, and was dolled up in a posh frock, with my hair and make up done, for a formal dinner 1 hour later. :uhoh:

sixmilehighclub
4th Feb 2006, 12:26
Working Day...

Alarm on phone goes off (currently set to the psycho jingle - which once shocked the hell out of some poor unsuspecting ex!)
Roll out of bed, make tea, shower, brush teeth, dry hair, make up, clothes on, out the door.

Non-Working Day...

Alarm doesn't go off.
Get out of bed only if I really really have to.

BALIX
4th Feb 2006, 12:53
They go indisposed for a while, read a magazine or something
Nope, its the blokes who read a magazine (or a newspaper) whilst indisposing themselves. Most ladies I know think that it is disgusting thing to do. I feel that it helps to pass the time...

Capn Notarious
4th Feb 2006, 13:54
They go indisposed for a while, read a magazine or something.

Eat more fruit and fibre and yer'll have more time: never needing to sit with a book.

+'ve ROC
4th Feb 2006, 14:01
like BLUEWOLF, I try to get as much pussy into the morning routine as possible.... :E

Curious Pax
4th Feb 2006, 17:10
0710 - alarm goes off
0711 - Mrs CP says something like 'gettusatea' and goes back to sleep
0712 stumble downstairs to make 2 cups of tea
0720 stagger back upstairs with tea, then head for shower
0730 get dressed
0735 get CP jr from his bed to ours - he and Mrs CP continue to sleep
0740 give up asking CP jr to get dressed and dress him while he is still asleep (he is only 5, but this can't go on much longer!)
0745 take CP jr downstairs for breakfast
0800 Mrs CP rushes downstairs ready to go as she has a meeting in 15 minutes (hang on - she was asleep 15 minutes ago and seems to have had a shower and drunk a cup of tea since then!)
0805 CPjr & CP quickly clean teeth and head for the car
0806 all leave house
0810 drop Mrs CP at work
0811-0825 drive round the neighbourhood until CP jr needs dropping at school
0835 finally leave school and head for work
0840 get into work (the same place as I dropped Mrs CP at 30 minutes earlier!)

I think I'm getting the raw end of the deal here!

LGS6753
4th Feb 2006, 17:18
Morning checklist:

Spectacles
Testicles
Wallet and
Watch.

To any passing Catholic I would appear to be 'crossing' myself.....

Romeo Delta
4th Feb 2006, 17:21
Nope, its the blokes who read a magazine (or a newspaper) whilst indisposing themselves. Most ladies I know think that it is disgusting thing to do. I feel that it helps to pass the time...

Oddly, every lady I've dated/married has a People or National Enquirer collection beside the toilet. As I read neither mag, it's gotta be theirs.

Personally, I bring my mobile with me. I've got a few games on there I use to pass the time.

Too Short
5th Feb 2006, 19:14
It's very sweet indeed to see the numbers of men on here who make their beloved ladies a cup of tea/coffe in the mornings while said ladies have a few extra minutes snoozing...

TS

The Voice
5th Feb 2006, 19:29
Depending upon where the first flight of the day is starting from dictates what time my alarm(s) go off. Sometimes it feels like its only 5 minutes after I went to bed :{ I just love flights from different time zones :hmm:

My hubby is a shocker :ugh: As a defender of our fine shores, he starts work mostly at the same time each day and his alarm is set for the same time every day rain, hail or shine. But, it is set so damn early to allow for several whacks of the snooze button followed by one flight across the bedroom.

I can do the full thing from zero to gorgeous in less than 20 minutes AND have the lippy on straight :ok:, where he has so little to do in comparison and takes a full 45 minutes!! I kid you not :uhoh:

Ultranomad
6th Feb 2006, 02:04
Back in my University days I had the alarm clock on 7:23 to get out the door by 7:41 and catch the 8:02 train.
Now that I am self-employed and my time is rarely constrained by any kind of schedule, I often go to bed around this time ;-)
P.S. it's 4:05 local time now.

Spodman
6th Feb 2006, 08:19
My first shift after commencing co-habited (and married) life started at 0500. at 0415 the alarm goes off, I hit snooze, notice wife's refined snores have stopped so apply encouraging smack to bottom and order, "Cook breakfast."

She instantly arose and started to trot for the kitchen while I lay there dumbfounded. She got as far as the door before I got out that I was joking... I often wonder how my life would be now if I'd let her go and fry something :confused: :confused:

BlueWolf
6th Feb 2006, 08:27
Many of us wonder if we may have inadvertently thrown away a winning Lotto ticket, Spodman ;)

lexxity
6th Feb 2006, 10:26
Early shift.

0330 - alarm goes off, quick stumble across to alarm clock so as not to disturb Mr L, reset alarm for his get up, 3hrs later:{ :{

0330-0400 - Full make up applied, hair tied back in approved manner, iron work shirt, put on rest of uniform, check bag for everything needed for day at work, go and kiss Mr L goodbye (like he notices)

0400-0415 - Drive to work down empty and dark motorway.

0415-0430 - Locate parking space and stumble for bus

0430 - 0445 - Bus ride in from fred west to tower block

0445-0500 - Enter office and make brew, ahh that's better.

Stockpicker
6th Feb 2006, 11:07
It's very sweet indeed to see the numbers of men on here who make their beloved ladies a cup of tea/coffe in the mornings while said ladies have a few extra minutes snoozing...


Me too, TS! Good old Mr P.

0700 Clock radio goes on. Listen to R3 news bulletin.
0702 Mr P goes downstairs and makes small pot of tea.
0705 Mr P returns to bedroom and places tea tray down, goes to shave, wakes Stockette on the way.
0708 Stockette stumbles through and gets into bed next to mummy.
0715 Mr P returns, pours tea. Sit up in bed, sip tea, open eyes gradually.
0729 Send Stockette to put school uniform on before nanny arrives.
0730 Nanny arrives.
0731 Listen to R3 news bulletin.
0732 Get up. Stumble into jeans and sweatshirt.
0735 Grab healthy bacteria drink from fridge. Drink. Grab banana for road.
0740 Pack gym bag with almost-dry-from-washing gym kit.
0745 Kiss Stockette goodbye, hit road.
0755 Drop Mr P off at work.
0800 In gym. It MUST be worth it!

Gerhardt
6th Feb 2006, 12:04
Spodman, is she still your bride?

Groundbased
6th Feb 2006, 14:28
We don't have alarm clocks.

05.20 3 yr old comes in "Daddy is it time to get up yet?"
05.21 Walk 3yr old back to bedroom put her back into bed "No, wait til seven o clock!"
05.22 Return to bed
05.45 3yr old comes back in routine as above.
06.00 3yr old returns "daddy it's not fair, isn't it time to get up yet?"
06.01 Return her to bedroom get out toys tell her to play with toys until 07.00
06.02 Return to bed
06.10 1yr old wakes up, no-one is sleeping after that.

Rushton
6th Feb 2006, 14:35
My routine

Woke up, got out of bed
dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
and looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
:cool:

bear11
6th Feb 2006, 15:02
I guess you're either a morning person or you're not - personally, I relate better to Billy Connolly who said that he has to [email protected]@te twice in the morning just to get his heart started.......

Spodman
7th Feb 2006, 00:21
"Spodman, is she still your bride?"

Special anniversary approaches, as of 27FEB06 (if [insert deity here] wills it) she will have married to me 50% of her time on this good earth. I'm a little older, so my Parity Anniversary won't be untill 28OCT07.

Get the occasional cooked brekky without whining for it too. Not at 0430 but.