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ex_matelot
1st Feb 2006, 20:56
Glad to see the Govt have the balls to name a ship appropiately for once.Would have really been expecting a HMS 'DIVERSITY' or something.

Nicked the stealth design of the French would you believe it though..

What have we become??

eal401
1st Feb 2006, 20:59
Nicked the stealth design of the French would you believe it though..
Wash your mouth out!!! :\

ex_matelot
1st Feb 2006, 21:00
Actually,I beleive some bloke in Tyneside invented the steath design in his shed....

Rollingthunder
1st Feb 2006, 21:01
Good to see they had her built in Britain.

air pig
1st Feb 2006, 21:02
Hope it's not run by Windows NT. Hate to be around if it crash's sort to speak. :E :E :E :E :E :E :E :E

ex_matelot
1st Feb 2006, 21:06
Oh well, 2 years trials,bit of a work-up,bost etc then off to join nthe rest just past Hormuz i should expect.

First shout from on-watch golly bet...''styx aquisition 270!' no doubt!"!

tony draper
1st Feb 2006, 21:12
Makes a change, we used to nick the ships off the French,the Fighting Temeraire was a French ship,until we borrowed her that is.
:rolleyes:

MyData
1st Feb 2006, 21:14
There was an interview this evening on Radio 5 Live with a senior RN bod (I forget the name and rank). The RN chap was extolling the virtues, such as, in radar trials based in Holland showed they could identify and track, simultaneously, every aircraft over Heathrow, CDG, Frankfurt, Schipol. *and* they will have kit to take out an object the size of a cricket ball at that range travelling at 3 times the speed of sound.

The glib reply was "Why would you want to take out a cricket ball" :bored:

Another question was along the lines that the last time we really needed the Navy was during the Falklands. I think it was missed on this interviewer that Naval ships in the Gulf provide a huge amount of support and *don't* get taken out because of all this defensive technology. If you made the ships easy targets then they would get taken out - we make them so well protected that they are ignored and so don't make the headlines any more.

A very disappointing line of questioning... (and I'm no Naval expert by any means)

ex_matelot
1st Feb 2006, 21:26
A very disappointing line of questioning... (and I'm no Naval expert by any means)



I am though,...!

It will be commanded by a guardian reading politically approved and promoted captain who will endeavour to board any fishing vessels/dhows etc that do not conform to certain ethnic quotas!

Just had word,to those 'in thy know'..drafty has it fully booked with warfare branch and anyone basically who has been 'in' less than 6 years.

Lets pray the Iranians will be beaten before this ship finishes BOST!

4Foxtrot
1st Feb 2006, 21:26
(and I'm no Naval expert by any means)

Niether am I so the article on BBC News ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4666906.stm ) came in handy.

Question: Is the bow sonar calibrated for coral reefs?

ex_matelot
1st Feb 2006, 21:29
[QUOTE]Question: Is the bow sonar calibrated for coral reefs?

/QUOTE]

yes but,,,special dispensation for female OOW's who disregard 2031 sonar alerts apply..as seen down south a few years ago!

Windy Militant
1st Feb 2006, 21:57
First shout from on-watch golly bet...''styx aquisition 270!' no doubt!"!
I hope that when they do that there's a Type 42 like HMS Gloucester with good old valve driven Sea Dart near at hand for when the Windows XP fire control system really does mean fatal errror when it falls over. :eek:

Georgeablelovehowindia
1st Feb 2006, 21:58
"... and when it enters service in 2009, it will be the biggest ship in the Royal Navy!"

Does this BBC chappie have access to information that the crews of HMS Ocean, Ark Royal, and Illustrious are blissfully unaware of? :rolleyes:

I suppose Albion and Bulwark will be in commission by then too?

G-CPTN
1st Feb 2006, 22:06
>"Nowadays the crew can write home on their laptops and it can be with their loved ones within hours rather than days,


Why 'hours' and not seconds? Will they batch the uploads?

patdavies
1st Feb 2006, 22:41
>"Nowadays the crew can write home on their laptops and it can be with their loved ones within hours rather than days,
Why 'hours' and not seconds? Will they batch the uploads?

Presumably so. And they will need to be censored like the old blue pencil with letters.

Conan the Librarian
1st Feb 2006, 23:13
I noticed that too on the Beeb. Batch processing sounds good, but I will bet you that what that means, is that the batch traffic will be sent immmediately,or "within a few hours" unless there are more pressing mattters at hand - like being at sea. Cynical, Moi? Yes very much so.

I sincerely hope that issues of such weight are considered closely, before the expectated droves of youngsters waiting to sign up, find that Playstation III is not compatible.

Conan

G-CPTN
1st Feb 2006, 23:52
On-line gaming could be difficult!

RJM
2nd Feb 2006, 01:40
Ever read Catch-22, specifically the bit where Yossarian was drafted to censor outgoing mail? He would black out the entire letter, leaving only 'Dear' and 'Yours', or he might censor all verbs, nouns etc. Very funny.

Sorry for drift. Bored.

Carry0nLuggage
2nd Feb 2006, 07:44
"Nowadays the crew can write home on their laptops and it can be with their loved ones within hours rather than days"

So that's why they've ordered so many Skynet 5s. Goody, more work for us!

tony draper
2nd Feb 2006, 10:08
Bah humbug! you peeps don't know yer born, we was lucky to get a letter from home every six months or so,and we signed two year articles,one has known chaps be away for two and a half years come home to find they have two new sprogs they knew nowt about.
:uhoh:

Taildragger55
2nd Feb 2006, 10:49
Actually,I beleive some bloke in Tyneside invented the steath design in his shed..

True, but has never been able to find the prototype again..

yintsinmerite
2nd Feb 2006, 11:39
Didn't Saddam invent stealth weapons of mass distruction (that no one can find?)

tony draper
2nd Feb 2006, 12:03
Bah!We didn't need no stealth,we wanted the natives to see a fecking big gray battle waggon parked ofshore,before it blew the Pashas palace to pebble dash,half a ton of cold steel and Torpex at 2000 FPS, they din't like it up em they didn't.
:rolleyes:

Britboy1979
2nd Feb 2006, 12:13
Daring is a good name, as is Dragon, Defender and Dauntless. But Diamond and Duncan??? HMS Duncan? What? Is it for Peter Duncan, he of Duncan Dares and Blue Peter???

Gainesy
2nd Feb 2006, 12:21
Maybe Duncan Doughnuts, first of the new Catering Class of ships.

Zoom
2nd Feb 2006, 12:46
HMS Alan Duncan? He likes it up 'im so seems very appropriate to me........

G-CPTN
2nd Feb 2006, 13:09
Duncan disorderly?

VitaminGee
2nd Feb 2006, 13:41
Well I think Diamond is a great name for ship - named after a certain Ppruner from Dununder I hear.;)

VG

CathayBrat
2nd Feb 2006, 14:21
Good name for a ship, but my fave still has to be HMS Beaver. Is this now not P.C, for the sensibilities of the wrens? Was on sister ship, HMS Boxer, now razor blades or tin cans!!!!:{

Taildragger55
2nd Feb 2006, 14:37
Pashas palace ..they din't like it up em they didn't.

I thought it was one of their greatest pleasures.

Trumpet_trousers
2nd Feb 2006, 14:45
Surely someone's made a mistake - shouldn't there be an 'L' in the name?? :E

VitaminGee
2nd Feb 2006, 14:47
What, Bleaver or Bloxer?:E

Flip Flop Flyer
2nd Feb 2006, 14:52
Enough of this huggy fluff! As stolen from a site who claims not to actively encourage the overthrowing of HMG government, how about

HMS "Don't Invade Any Of Our Territorial Claims Or Else We Will Kick Your ***** Heads In You Foreign ****" or HMS "If YOU Come Near Me You **** I'll Blow The ******* Crap Out Of You"


(*** inserted by me as the NAAFI bar rules are slightly less civilized, and Mme. Fslaps might throw a wobbler)

allan907
2nd Feb 2006, 14:54
Doctor please tell me what's wrong

You've got hermes

Hermes? Don't you mean herpes?

No, you're a carrier.

Boom boom exit stage right....crabs have no right to take the p*ss out of the fish heads

VitaminGee
2nd Feb 2006, 15:23
Oh, for fArk's sake..........:rolleyes:

miazaky
2nd Feb 2006, 16:36
all these puns are giving me a haddock :E

G-CPTN
2nd Feb 2006, 16:42
HMS Hip
HMS Big Fckur
HMS Uhaven't Seenme Right?

WE Branch Fanatic
2nd Feb 2006, 17:22
Very funny:mad: :mad: :mad:

On a more serious note

1. The number of frigates and destroyers has been cut to 25. The First Sea Lord says this is not enough for the peacetime tasks demanded of it by the Government. See this:

Navy too small to defend us, warns First Sea Lord (http://telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/01/15/ndef115.xml)

2. The Type 45 will not be as good as the designers intended due to CUTS.

3. The first T45 will not enter service (actually in commision and flying the White Ensign) until 2009, and the others will also be delayed. Yet Ministers claim(ed) that the capabilities of the T45 would help fill the viod by the premature retirement of the Sea Harrier, at least six and more likely ten (or more) years before its replacement enters service. In the next few years what is left of our fleet and other elements of any task group will be very vulnerable to air attack.

This last point has been discussed at length on the Military Aircrew forum, particularly on the Sea Jet thread (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=98152).

Data-Lynx
2nd Feb 2006, 17:28
Britboy & G-CPTN. Just be grateful that other 1950s names for Daring class destroyers (http://www.hazegray.org/navhist/rn/destroyers/daring/) were rejected. HM Ships DAINTY, DUCHESS and DELIGHT might not fit the modern image - what ever that is.

PS. WEBF. Whatever are you on? Let the Puff Jet go - please.

chevvron
2nd Feb 2006, 17:36
Don't worry, they've got a spare one parked on top of Portsdown Hill.

airship
2nd Feb 2006, 21:23
Why do we need a big RN when we've got the US Navy anyway :confused: ;)

It's a sobering thought that a single new type 45 'has the firepower of the combined older type 42 fleet'. I suppose it makes for a smaller more efficient navy, as long as we maintain the technological 'edge', even if some of it comes from the French. :E

Maybe the new ones are so stealthy that there are already 5 in service at this time contrary to all reports... :8

But there's also a lot to be said for being able to fly 'the White ensign' around the globe. It appears to be regarded much less malevolently than some flags these days. And it does 'bring a tear or two' to those who sometimes see one. Having fewer ships will make the event even rarer... :sad:

And you never know, someone might one day be able to build a smallish low-tech submarine, which on the T45's sonar looks like a medium-sized whale perhaps even with full 'spouting' Hollywood-style special effects as it comes to within 45 seconds torpedo distance... :uhoh:

Kolibear
3rd Feb 2006, 08:25
Doubt if there would be many volunteers to serve on these fine boats

Fast Patrol Boats. (http://www.bmpt.org.uk/boat%20histories/Gay%20Class/)

The Flower class corvettes ('they can roll on wet grass') also produced some interesting names including HMS Pansy. Imagine the embarassment of being sunk by HMS Pansy!

VitaminGee
3rd Feb 2006, 09:48
Perhaps not as embarassing as being a crew member with PANSY on your hat band.

"Oi, Jack, which ship are yer from?"
"Pansy"
"Oi, who'r'yer callin' a pansy"......THWACK......
:ouch:

MReyn24050
3rd Feb 2006, 10:45
Britboy & G-CPTN. Just be grateful that other 1950s names for Daring class destroyers (http://www.hazegray.org/navhist/rn/destroyers/daring/) were rejected. HM Ships DAINTY, DUCHESS and DELIGHT might not fit the modern image - what ever that is.
PS. WEBF. Whatever are you on? Let the Puff Jet go - please.
However I bet the fluffies would have gone a bundle on another of the 1950 Daing Class names i.e. HMS Diana.