Airshow Misbehaviour (ground)

[miles offtarget]

Whilst fully cognisant that some (most) airshow stories are not for the public domain, just wondered if anyone had any that they would like to share.
For a tame starter:
I one had the slowest car chase in history at F******d one year in the mid 1990's, after being caught where I shouldn't have been (another story).
Anyway, hot-started a fortuitously positioned but carelessly abandoned staff golf buggy, much to the chagrin of the owner, and made my battery powered escape through the crowd at 3kts with the (cart beeping like crazy and orange light flashing) hotly pursued by USAF's finest law enforcers doing 2.9kts waving M16s and equally well lit up.
Crowd perplexed, but managed to get away with it. Seem to remember finally hiding in the back of a convienient Chinook or something, and all was well.
Thanks again 18Sqn.
Cheers,
MoT

[jayteeto]

Oh yes, no names of course, but 2 of the SH force's finest crewmen convinced a young lady that the Chinook toilet tube was a washing facility at the fairford bash. "***** will pop inside and turn the hot water on........ ok *****, turn it on now!!". She rinsed out her sock (don't ask why!) with some warm yellow water!!! :yuk:

[Rossian]

Abbotsford 1993. After the day's excitement; in the beer tent. Suddenly outside is the banshee wail and double thumps of a very large jet engine trying to get the a/b lit. It's the guy with huge jet powered Mack truck at the far end of the flight line, "Rolling Thunder" I think the act was called. We all stood there beers in hand as this thing hurtled down the (narrowish) flight line at 250 knots, past, but very close to Thunderbirds, Snowbirds, Russian Knights and several dozen other expensive aircraft. As he came to a halt with the drag chute occillating in the now idling jet wash and stepped out onto the step clutching his bottle of Molson's X a stunned silence fell on the assembled watchers. The silence was broken by the Mounties on their mountain bikes shouting at us all "Hey you guys the liquor license doesn't extend outside the marquee, get back inside!!!!!!" When the magnitude of what had just been perpetrated was pointed out to him the reply was (I promise you it's true) "That's airside **** we don't deal with that"
Jobsworths don't just live in the UK
Ancient Mariner

[WASALOADIE]

Fairford a few years back, there with a Puma. Groundcrew decided to doctor the a/c a little. Changed the 3 in the reg to an 8 with a black chinograph, stuck an array of aerials made from paper plates, cups and paint brushes all painted in cam green and stuck on with bluetack. Kept the spotters amused for hours taking pic of the "Sneaky Beaky aircraft" asked lots of questions as to why the reg was not on the register and what were the multitude of aerials to be replied with "sorry cant answer that question its secret".

[West Coast]

B1B demo pilot was found snoozing in the bushes outside the O' club about three in the morn skunk drunk. Demo turned into a static display. Leading up to the El Toro airshow in 93 the squadron had a golf tourney. Turned a couple of the golf carts into U boats. Guess they call it a water hazard for a reason.

Pilots do seem to hate golf carts. I've seen more destroyed at the hands of pilots than anything else.

[Blodwyn Pig]

IAT'89, that was a hell of an airshow!...got into all sorts of scrapes that weekend.
we made a squadron 'zap' out of the cardboard bit of a 707b, bought some dayglo aerosols from a car shop, and during the course of the airshow i managed to zap over 40 aircraft, and a fair amount of ground equipment.
when i finally got back to work after a few gash days off, i was greeted with a request for an interview from OC plod. turns out one of the buses i'd zapped was a MOD police bus, and they had a sense of humour failure, and wanted me charged!...they even supplied a bill for the labour to remove the zap! (£12.73, i can still remember it!)
when i was being charged, my boss asked if i wanted to pay the bill, i asked if it would get me off jankers, he said no, so i politely declined.

[Art Field]

Dayton Airshow, some years ago, usual Vickers Fun Bus [Tanker] orange and chocolate flavoured refreshing beverages. Senior officer, who added himself to the crew uninvited, duly kept his liquid level up during the hot day unaware of the recipes of said beverages. By the evening hanger bash was overtaken by events and became a main attraction. "Come and see the RAF Wing Commander fast asleep against the Portaloo".

[ShyTorque]

NATO Tiger Meet, Bitburg 1981.

A review was given by the 53rd TFS (F-15s) hosts and hostesses on the Saturday evening. That rendition of "Swan Lake" with the hairy aircrew dressed in long johns, flying boots and tutus was a sight to behold, especially the squadron commander who played the lead.

Afterwards, someone suggested putting the Squadron Tiger bus, a VW Beetle, onto the stage. Having got the VW as far as the double side doors of the "O Club", it was discovered that it was slightly too wide to fit through.

No problem to a bunch of drunken aircrew. Once lifted bodily off the ground and neatly rotated through 90 degrees onto its side, it slid through a treat with about an inch to spare! It was then lifted up onto the stage and a "crush" was begun. After most of us climbed in or onto the car, there was a creak and a bang and the stage dropped a couple of inches! Someone then saw sense and cleared us all out, especially as there was a trail of petrol...

The next afternoon, as aircraft were already taxying out to depart, the O club manager was seen wandering around, pleading for manpower to help extricate the car. They obviously hadn't seen the 90 degree roll; so I don't know how long it took them to remove it!

[Wycombe]

Seem to remember big kerfuffle a few years back at RIAT Cottesmore, when a large/expensive model of a ship went missing. Many hours after the alleged disappearance, plods decided it would be a good idea to start checking vehicles leaving the base;)

Years earlier, at the usual RIAT venue, I remember being confronted very early one Sunday morning outside the Concorde Club by a non-Brit in a very light blue growbag, who seemed temporarily unaware of his position. Always wondered if he was due to fly that day :uhoh:

[Letsby Avenue]

Airshow at Deelen in 92. Expensive hardware parked all over the place when two slightly under the weather Dutch aircrew pitch up for an impromptu tug of war between two old bangers... The rope was tied securely to the back end of each one and they disapeared in a cloud of tyre smoke and clutch burn - looked good until 10 seconds later one of the clutches burnt out and the unfortunate occupant found himself doing at least 40mph backwards with the steering wheel flipping madly from lock to lock in and out of the flightline:} Got away with it though:cool:

[SASless]

In the Casino bar following the Saturday night Air Show party....a very well known Aerobatic Display pilot...then 72 years old and still going strong...pulled two lovely's along...did his break dance routine...and was the only one of our group that was not bounced out of the joint by Security. Excuse given....we had committed the gross sin of having two bottles of beer in hand...the shame of it all!

[lsh]

Tiger Meet Kleine Brogel 1985;
1. Remove rear wheel from Tiger Bus and prop-up with bricks.
2. Return to party and await the fun.
3. Offered lift back to the holiday village accomodation.
4. Distract driver whilst rapidly refitting wheel!!!
Phew!

(PS Dont mention the canal jumping competition!)

[ShyTorque]

(PS Dont mention the canal jumping competition!)

OK I won't.

Was it the one where a certain Glaswegian Beefer tried to persuade me to attempt a 30 foot canal jump with a stolen 8 foot sapling support pole? I didn't, so he did, with completely predictable results. (Judging by the state of the water, I think that's how duck 'flu started).

Security man came round after about half an hour of such rowdiness to kindly tell us that he had been obliged to call the police (not too surprising - it was gone midnight). We thinned out, to a party in a chalet where a certain American friend decided it would be fun to let off the dry powder fire extinguisher. Goes a long way, that powder. Even sharing a chalet with Eric was slightly preferable.

Who's silly idea was it to let a hundred drunken aircrew loose in CenterParks anyway? :=

:cool:

[lsh]

From what I recall he did make it over on the second go!
And won the "best dressed canal jumper" award for his black roll neck.
(Unlike the one dressed as a streaker!).
Whatever happened to the security mans bike?
Anyway it was a great idea for a venue and it only cost "25 beers to join".

[ShyTorque]

Can't remember the bike going missing but I had drunk my 25 beers by then. In the ten pin bowling alley foyer, as I recall, singing well known tunes which the holiday makers joined in with until one by one the parents twigged the "alternative" words and took the kids away to prevent further moral pollution. :eek: :E

[Tarnished]

Did not see it with my own eyes but I have no reason to doubt the authenticity of the following:

Paris airshow, last day of a very very long 7 days for the guys manning the plastic Typhoon full scale replica. All the delegations have come and gone and it is pretty much all the general public. Mission becomes that of who can get the best looking bit of French crumpet interested in a personal visit to sit in the cockpit. Good efforts all round (it is Paris after all). But one particular stunner in very short skirt asked if it was OK if her male friend took some pictures of her in the office. No worries, say the boys snap away. It quickly became apparent that these were not happy snaps for the family album. Her chum had more cameras than Lord Litchfield (RIP) and the more he clicked the more cleavage she revealed and the more she hitched up her skirt. When the holy grail came into view the boys (eventually) cried foul and called a halt. A few nervous conversations followed and the high price help were informed just in case the photos turned up somewhere -- isn't the old addage that there is no such thing as bad publicity?

Tarnished

[jimgriff]

So the pics I've seen weren't fakes!!!!!:E :ok: :ooh: :eek:

[Conan the Librarian]

At least, they haven't turned up in the Caption Competition yet....

Conan

[Data-Lynx]

If we are talking photos, will cock-ups fit the thread? 845 NAS took a large number of Wessex Mk5s (certainly 12 and maybe the full 16) to display at Biggin Hill in the early 70s, under the truly unique command of Neil Skelton F****r. At the end of each day, the aircraft would land, lined up on the north side of the runway to face the crowd on the south side. The keen AEO was mindful that each aircraft had a very large single white letter on the nose and took care to avoid any real words. Meanwhile, the usual jungly aircrew wildlife did what they do so well and one young Lt, last seen as a senior Captain in the diplomatic world, did rather well in drag and blonde wig on a Honda monkey bike. At the end of the last display, we used all available transport to get us to the beer tent and proceeded to ignore the high priced help and most of the Press - to start with. At about the third beer, it became obvious that there has been a glitch in the refuelling order and the line-up was wrong. Facing the tent in the middle of the line-up, were Charlie, Delta, Uniform, November and Tango. Delta was new and so did not have a letter. It was too late to change it so the instruction was simple: find everyone with a camera and get them pi$$ed. Aye aye Sir.

[Amateur Aviator]

Seem to remember big kerfuffle a few years back at RIAT Cottesmore, when a large/expensive model of a ship went missing. Many hours after the alleged disappearance, plods decided it would be a good idea to start checking vehicles leaving the base;)

More details on this one (I may or may not have been involved in this one): The Fleet Air Finger were stupid enough to leave it unattended in front of a load of SH mates. Funny old thing, it went missing.
Next morning, the feds came and asked if we had seen it (in a very direct manner!). Seeing as we were good blokes, and the model cost ivo £25,000 (thats what I thought when I found out!), we humbly did.
We were all rather miffed that we didn't get a slab to say "fair one lads". We all thought it was a little careless to leave such an item unattended in broad daylight!
AA

[Jobza Guddun]

Remember the missing boat well, and feeling disappointed that a) the RIAT Engineers didn't get it first despite a cunning plan and b) that the perpetrators gave it back!!

Would have served the owners right for leaving it unattended, shoulda' known better!!

Was it from Southsides' sea cadet troop? :E

Jobza

[Amateur Aviator]

Sorry! The cunning plan was usurped by pure bolshiness, but when something like that is left alone and unattended.........
KISS is all I can say.
As for the careless owners, I can only say that they were, and maybe still are, providers of fleet defence. Just now flying the Fairey Swordfish
AA

[jimgriff]

Did you hear the one about a crew member putting a condom full of hot water in a sock and suspending it down the inside leg of his flying suit whilst a fellow crew member showed visiting dignitaries how the IR cameras worked on the SAR kit????

The women flocked around him like flies after that........:E :ok:

[Pass-A-Frozo]

I know of a certain coalition country who at "an airshow" managed to acquire the xxx Corporation (Major international aircraft manufacturer) display model aircraft. Left unattended in exibition hall - their lads walked up and walked off with ithe 5 foot long model with not a question asked!

[Blodwyn Pig]

its amazing what you can get away with if you are blatant about it.
at IAT '89 there was a big birthday party for the red arrows, we asked one of our aircrew to see if he could scrounge us some tickets, but he failed us.
not to be put off, our fairy cpl. put on a posh voice, and walked up to the girl in charge of tickets, and said he needed tickets for the rest of his crew, she didn't bat an eye, and just dished the tickets out.
our crew looked a bit sheepish when we met them there, and a very good night was had by all!

[markerboy]

RIAT 2002 I remember a certain mate of mine getting lucky at the after show party on the sunday. His accomplishment came with a kicker though. He had t to find a bed for her MALE friend. Unperturbed, he tapped up one of the lads to let said friend kip on his floor. Problem is, the skipper duely knocks everyone up in the morning for the return flight, to find one of us had had a lucky night and another's got a bloke half naked in his room!!

Of course, he tried to explain it away on the crew bus back to base, but by then the truth wasn't getting in the way of a good story.

:E

[engineer(retard)]

"As for the careless owners, I can only say that they were, and maybe still are, providers of fleet defence. Just now flying the Fairey Swordfish"

AA

If that was the Manadon swordfish, it unfortunately suffered from spontaneous combustion post Taranto night.

regards

retard

[jessie13]

At the Bicentenial Airshow at Richmond (Australia 1988), we took an old S2G Tracker from the RAN Historic Flight for the show complete with zoonie pods etc on the wings. Got a bit boring after a couple of days so we stuck RADHAZ stickers on the inert zoonies, pulled them out the tubes a bit so people could see them and waited. Within a couple of minutes of the show opening, we were already being asked if we had nuclear weapons in which we replied "we can neither confirm or deny that we have them". A few hours later, a very irate senior RAAF officer asked "please explain!!". We couldn't so we had to remove them. Those familar with Trackers would know that the open nose door was a very good place to be with a nice skirt in the cockpit and it was a very hot 8 days!

[rotorblades]

An ex RAF guy told me this one, dont know if its true....
They'd taken one of their aircraft(a nimrod i believe) for display at a US airshow
Anyway, in a vacant static aircraft parking space, they set up some cones and some parking chocks roughly around the area an aircraft would be. One of the crew pretended to be leaning on the ''empty air''., whilst another member walked around ducking under the ''wings'' etc.
This got the attention of a lot of people who gathered, not to mention a gaggle of USAF aircrew. The RAF crew then proceeded to explain to the americans about the RAFs new StealthBomber..apparently they believed it was really there.

[FCWhippingBoy]

Dunno 'bout that one, but ppl have done similar!

http://www.edgn.de/jokes/stealth.jpg

[Safety_Helmut]

Two pints of whatever you were on, when you took that sh!te in rotorblades !

S_H

[Fanois]

Hardly rock and roll but it tickled me at the time:

Opposite the B2 static display at RIAT one (and presumably every) year, a little area coned off with nothing in it - apart from a small placard: "Stealth Mk 2"

I'm sure they didn't get it. But that's not really the point is it?! :8

[Blodwyn Pig]

Hardly rock and roll but it tickled me at the time:

Opposite the B2 static display at RIAT one (and presumably every) year, a little area coned off with nothing in it - apart from a small placard: "Stealth Mk 2"

I'm sure they didn't get it. But that's not really the point is it?! :8

we did that at Valley in the mid 80's, after the F111 cancelled at the last minute.
we put out 2 sets of chocks, a bonding lead, and even stencilled the sign saying 'no photographs'.

[diginagain]

Blew down a newly-erected row of portable loos with a US Navy SH-3 at Middle Wallop. Tame, but amusing at the time, not that the users were best pleased.

Tried to swap a Gazelle for an M1 Abrams tank for a bit of drag racing on the runway at Giebelstadt.

Removed the steps to the trailer-mounted bogs for a laugh at the same venue, and topped the night off by trying to man-handle an electric wheelchair onto the dodgems, complete with occupant.

The things we do when young and stupid.

[Still Smiling]

The poor Flt Ops officer that signed for said model carrier was almost in tears when he found out how much it was worth and that someone had nicked it.

[Spurlash2]

Remember the missing ship well. So well, in fact, that I have phots of the perpetrators with ship in hand (oh err, missus!) Large sums of money gratefully accepted to keep identities secret. Chinook mates, what are they like!

[Talking Radalt]

This wouldn't be the same model ship that was delivered to said Chinny with the aid of a Tac Med Wing 4-Tonner, made available in the same manner as the model itself, would it? :E

[Amateur Aviator]

I cannot answer that question Sir.

AA and friends

[Arkroyal]

Not so much mis behaviour, but oh how we laughed!

Roanne, France Sep 92 we were displaying a Sea King 4 when an F3 arrived.

Guy taxied past waving crab cap and generally soaking up percieved adulation when:
http://uk.geocities.com/[email protected]/Tornado.jpg

[Talking Radalt]

We still stole your precious model boat in broad daylight. :E

[Spurlash2]

AA, check PM.
2.10 Mb of Cottesmore action found on backup CD for your delectation!
S2

[BN Boy]

For you navs:

At an air show hangar party a fight broke out between a Canadian pilot and nav over a girl they were both trying to chat up.

When the dust had settled it turned out that while Canuck pilots have a maple leaf on their wings, Canuck navs have a globe.

Nav tells lass that while lofty-boy beside her is only allowed to fly within Canadian airspace, he can fly all over the world!

...Of course, the nav got his ar$e kicked.